Online Dating Question
Learning2LuvLindsay
Posts: 1,142 Member
Ok this may have been asked before but honestly I'm to lazy to go back and look.....:happy:
So I'm VERY new to the online dating world. Actually I've had my profile up a whole 6 days. I've noticed a few guys have looked at my profile several times (like everyday, a few times per day) but didn't send a message. So my question is, do you think they are trying to get me to send the first email or just being annoying. I mean my profile is still the same since the last time they looked. :laugh:
Any thoughts???
So I'm VERY new to the online dating world. Actually I've had my profile up a whole 6 days. I've noticed a few guys have looked at my profile several times (like everyday, a few times per day) but didn't send a message. So my question is, do you think they are trying to get me to send the first email or just being annoying. I mean my profile is still the same since the last time they looked. :laugh:
Any thoughts???
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Replies
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Does your profile have a lot of information on it?
I sometimes find girls that just joined and their profile isn't complete yet, so I'll check back another day to see if they've filled anymore information out. It's hard to send a meaningful message if the girl hasn't stated anything about herself.0 -
They like how you look (can`t blame them) but either are too shy to contact or just don`t want to take it any farther.
Could be trying to build themselves up to sending a note or seeing if you look back.
Kind of a silly game at that point.0 -
Hmmm I didn't think of that! I filled out most of my profile but there are a few sections I'm still missing.
On other note, what is up with the wink? Does that mean people are too lazy to send an email?
Sorry, like I said I'm new to this and trying to learn the ropes.0 -
They like how you look (can`t blame them) but either are too shy to contact or just don`t want to take it any farther.
Could be trying to build themselves up to sending a note or seeing if you look back.
Kind of a silly game at that point.
Awww thanks Carl!
But I was thinking the same thing.....0 -
Wink is not lazy - it's saying if you're attracted back, wink or email back. But why waste your VALUABLE time sending an email to someone that might not be interested at all
Two sides to every coin 0 -
Hmm.. if I were you, and you were actually interested in one of these men, I would send him just a short little funny message.
The few guys I actually initiated contact with, one being Sugar Lips, I think the first thing I messaged him was "I like your hat." because he was wearing a Texas hat. 0 -
Reasons for looking multiple times:
1. You forgot what their profile says
2. You're ogling pictures
3. You are interested, but not ready to contact
3a. You've started chatting up someone else you're interested in and don't like to have too many fires in the oven
3b. You are recently single and not quite ready to actually date, so you're just "browsing"
3c. You're new to online dating and have too many questions to actually start contacting someone yet
4. You're rubbing one out to pictures
5. You're shy and think there's no chance in hell, so you're just gleefully observing.
6. You have low self-esteem and are memorizing your profile to draft an extra special email in hopes of winning your affection
You see where I'm going here? Who knows...0 -
Well said!Reasons for looking multiple times:
1. You forgot what their profile says
2. You're ogling pictures
3. You are interested, but not ready to contact
3a. You've started chatting up someone else you're interested in and don't like to have too many fires in the oven
3b. You are recently single and not quite ready to actually date, so you're just "browsing"
3c. You're new to online dating and have too many questions to actually start contacting someone yet
4. You're rubbing one out to pictures
5. You're shy and think there's no chance in hell, so you're just gleefully observing.
6. You have low self-esteem and are memorizing your profile to draft an extra special email in hopes of winning your affection
You see where I'm going here? Who knows...
My theory is they are trying to send you an email based on your profile but they keep forgetting what it says.
Winks are just to let someone know that you're interested without having to type out an entire email. If you're interested send them a quick note or just wink back.0 -
Focus your efforts offline. Online dating didn't exist until the mid 1990s and didn't become de-stigmatized until the mid 2000s. People met and got married before that. You'll be more successful if you put more of your efforts into offline dating.0
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Focus your efforts offline. Online dating didn't exist until the mid 1990s and didn't become de-stigmatized until the mid 2000s. People met and got married before that. You'll be more successful if you put more of your efforts into offline dating.
100% DISAGREE!! For those of us from small towns that don't want to meet a future mate in a bar, online is really the only way to go.
As for OP....wink is to show interest, as others have said, without going through trouble of writing email....so if you might be interested wink back, or write quick email.0 -
Hmmm I didn't think of that! I filled out most of my profile but there are a few sections I'm still missing.
On other note, what is up with the wink? Does that mean people are too lazy to send an email?
Sorry, like I said I'm new to this and trying to learn the ropes.
My opinion on the winks, it means they are to lazy to write a note and a trolling for a response from you. Then if you respond they will put in time and effort to write something, my opinion, not worth your time.0 -
Hmmm I didn't think of that! I filled out most of my profile but there are a few sections I'm still missing.
On other note, what is up with the wink? Does that mean people are too lazy to send an email?
Sorry, like I said I'm new to this and trying to learn the ropes.
My opinion on the winks, it means they are to lazy to write a note and a trolling for a response from you. Then if you respond they will put in time and effort to write something, my opinion, not worth your time.
Completely disagree.0 -
Focus your efforts offline. Online dating didn't exist until the mid 1990s and didn't become de-stigmatized until the mid 2000s. People met and got married before that. You'll be more successful if you put more of your efforts into offline dating.
Been there, done that. Not meeting anyone offline so I'm expanding my resources. I've actually had a ton of friends meet their SO online in the past few years so it is worth a shot.0 -
Don't over-think this one. In some respects it feels like shopping online, so they are just double and triple checking their options. And don't forget that anytime you go online to see if they checked you out then they'll possibly see that and think you are checking them out multiple times...0
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Reasons for looking multiple times:
1. You forgot what their profile says
2. You're ogling pictures
3. You are interested, but not ready to contact
3a. You've started chatting up someone else you're interested in and don't like to have too many fires in the oven
3b. You are recently single and not quite ready to actually date, so you're just "browsing"
3c. You're new to online dating and have too many questions to actually start contacting someone yet
4. You're rubbing one out to pictures
5. You're shy and think there's no chance in hell, so you're just gleefully observing.
6. You have low self-esteem and are memorizing your profile to draft an extra special email in hopes of winning your affection
You see where I'm going here? Who knows...
Love this!Don't over-think this one. In some respects it feels like shopping online, so they are just double and triple checking their options. And don't forget that anytime you go online to see if they checked you out then they'll possibly see that and think you are checking them out multiple times...
I dont know about the other websites but on match it shows who looked at your profile but dosent make you look at theirs.0 -
Focus your efforts offline. Online dating didn't exist until the mid 1990s and didn't become de-stigmatized until the mid 2000s. People met and got married before that. You'll be more successful if you put more of your efforts into offline dating.
...says the guy with a match.com profile...
100% DISAGREE!! For those of us from small towns that don't want to meet a future mate in a bar, online is really the only way to go.
I agree with you disagreeing. Of course people would want to meet others offline, but that's not that easy. I tried it. I tried to get friends to set me up, I joined sports leagues, I moved to a new city to try to meet new people. It bugs me when people say things like "Just go out more, meet new people." Well no *kitten*, I never thought of that! :laugh: I'm 39, I haven't had any real luck by now meeting people "in real life", so sometimes you need to expand your horizons.0 -
...says the guy with a match.com profile...
I have a Match profile, but am not a current subscriber, so can't communicate on Match. Match profiles without a paying subscription are about as useful as a rusted out 1974 AMC Gremlin.0 -
Been there, done that. Not meeting anyone offline so I'm expanding my resources. I've actually had a ton of friends meet their SO online in the past few years so it is worth a shot.
Why do you think you are not meeting people offline? You live in Denver. Denver has a reputation of having favorable demographics for single women. There's a reason why it is called Menver.0 -
Been there, done that. Not meeting anyone offline so I'm expanding my resources. I've actually had a ton of friends meet their SO online in the past few years so it is worth a shot.
Why do you think you are not meeting people offline? You live in Denver. Denver has a reputation of having favorable demographics for single women. There's a reason why it is called Menver.
Ok let me rephrase that. Yes I meet people offline. However, they are not people I would want to start a relationship with. I've tried church, meetups, and I'm a pretty social person. Still nada. Online is just another tool I decided to check out. I don't think having options can hurt anything. I'm not getting dates either way. :laugh:0 -
Been there, done that. Not meeting anyone offline so I'm expanding my resources. I've actually had a ton of friends meet their SO online in the past few years so it is worth a shot.
Why do you think you are not meeting people offline? You live in Denver. Denver has a reputation of having favorable demographics for single women. There's a reason why it is called Menver.
Ok let me rephrase that. Yes I meet people offline. However, they are not people I would want to start a relationship with. I've tried church, meetups, and I'm a pretty social person. Still nada. Online is just another tool I decided to check out. I don't think having options can hurt anything. I'm not getting dates either way. :laugh:
I can empathize. I certainly wish the best for you.0 -
I am putting in my two cents as someone that's been on and off dating sites. It seems as if you are referring to Match.com. On match if you are a paying subscriber you can see who viewed your profile. Someone can look at your profile 100 times a day but if they aren't a paying member they can't contact you with anything more than a wink to get your attention. It already seems as if they have your attention as you notice them looking at you repeatedly. I actually have one like that as well, seems like he looks at my profile all the time, I'm like, hellooooo??? Contact me then if you are interested or want to know more.
My take on "winks". Personally I like them, kind of. If I find someone interesting and want to get them to check out my profile, I wink. If they then check me out, i know they are a paying member also or they wouldn't be able to see who winked at them, they would just get notification of a wink. That makes them curious who it is and want to subscribe. If I read a profile that is no doubt someone I want to contact, no doubt I'm sending the email and letting them know.
Hope that helps! Gotta love the online world..... :happy:0 -
Another possible reason is they first view your profile when they don't have time to respond. Or are suffering from a deficit of an attention span. Clicking onto the profile, then on to some other tab before it loads. I've done both before.0
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Reasons for looking multiple times:
1. You forgot what their profile says
2. You're ogling pictures
3. You are interested, but not ready to contact
3a. You've started chatting up someone else you're interested in and don't like to have too many fires in the oven
3b. You are recently single and not quite ready to actually date, so you're just "browsing"
3c. You're new to online dating and have too many questions to actually start contacting someone yet
4. You're rubbing one out to pictures
5. You're shy and think there's no chance in hell, so you're just gleefully observing.
6. You have low self-esteem and are memorizing your profile to draft an extra special email in hopes of winning your affection
You see where I'm going here? Who knows...
I agree with this.. who knows. I sometimes do that to remember something specific on some one's profile and/or I don't realize i've already seen her profile.0 -
maybe they arent members yet and can only browse profiles instead of initiating contact.
oh and i pretty much refuse to send a guy a note after he sends me a wink. if i'm interested, i wink back. i kind of think the person who initially saw the profile and was interested should be the one making the effort to craft the first email. me as a woman doing the work for him feels just as uncomfortable to me as when you see a guy in public and he tries to summons you over to where he is :noway:0 -
Hmmm I didn't think of that! I filled out most of my profile but there are a few sections I'm still missing.
On other note, what is up with the wink? Does that mean people are too lazy to send an email?
Sorry, like I said I'm new to this and trying to learn the ropes.
My opinion on the winks, it means they are to lazy to write a note and a trolling for a response from you. Then if you respond they will put in time and effort to write something, my opinion, not worth your time.
I agree with this 100%. I might get grief for saying this, but I consider winks are similar to the ever so popular short messages like "what's up?". If I'm not even worth the time for the guy to write a full sentence, then he should not bother. Just my opinion.0 -
You live in Denver. Denver has a reputation of having favorable demographics for single women. There's a reason why it is called Menver.
OMG.. I lived in Colorado for a very short time while I was married to my first husband. And at the time, I vowed that if I was EVER single again, I would definitely move back to Colorado. The men. Everywhere. I couldn't go to the laundromat or the mall or anywhere without being hit on or ogled. My husband even noticed it and would point it out to me at times.0 -
As far as the multiple viewings... I wouldn't read too much into it unless I really wanted to make contact with the guy myself, say I found something interesting in his profile. Sometimes, I view people a mutliple number of times because I forgot what their profile said, and maybe I forgot that I was NOT interested.
Winks? If a man winks at me and I'm SUPER interested, I'll shoot him an email, most likely based on his profile, something he said or an interest he mentioned, whatever... usually just a short (possibly witty) note saying "hey, I got your wink and maybe I wanna get to know you too"
On the flipside, if a man sends me a wink and I'm only slightly interested, I will just wink back. Leave it to him to make the next move. How interested is he? If he's really interested, he'll make the next move, and I'll decide from there.
If I'm not interested at all, I ignore the wink altogether.
Good luck! Have fun! And be careful. There are a lot of weirdos and creeps out there.0 -
I was on match.com for a while. . It seems the same rules apply there as in the real world, although not to the same strict degree. What I mean is that it generally fell to me (the man) to initiate the contact. If a girl viewed my profile once and I was interested, I would shoot her an email. . I winked maybe three or four times when I first started, but after reading a bunch of profiles saying "Don't bother with the wink". . I quit. I type very quickly and I can spell and use multisyllabic words, so It was easy for me, usually, to find something to say. . However, a lot of people don't have my amazing skills and probably find it much more difficult to think of anything to write. . hence. "the wink". . Also. . there are probably many great guys out there that just aren't good at communicating with the written word. . so keep that in mind. .
I will say that I would occasionally read a profile several times and find NOTHING to comment on!
While you are writing your profile. .keep in mind that guys that care and aren't just saying "hey babe, nice rack". . want to come up with something clever to say to you. Help them! Ask a question or two in your profile. . That makes it easy. . Post a picture that either has something really interesting or something mysterious in it. . "What is that THING you are holding in that one picture!". . etc.
Good Luck!0 -
Riiiight.
I agree with this 100%. I might get grief for saying this, but I consider winks are similar to the ever so popular short messages like "what's up?". If I'm not even worth the time for the guy to write a full sentence, then he should not bother. Just my opinion.
My opinion on the winks, it means they are to lazy to write a note and a trolling for a response from you. Then if you respond they will put in time and effort to write something, my opinion, not worth your time.Hmmm I didn't think of that! I filled out most of my profile but there are a few sections I'm still missing.
On other note, what is up with the wink? Does that mean people are too lazy to send an email?
Sorry, like I said I'm new to this and trying to learn the ropes.
I'd be interested to see (from the total number of winks) the proportion of Women Vs Men.
My guess (out of my *kitten*) would be that (for winks sent) the split is 80% women/20% men. Women are lazy online. Fact!
Women are primarily waiting for something to happen, and the MOST women can do is often a wink. The fact that you can complain about the men not writing a full sentence is a luxury (I hope you realise this!), because the competition is too fierce on the men side.0 -
Riiiight.
I agree with this 100%. I might get grief for saying this, but I consider winks are similar to the ever so popular short messages like "what's up?". If I'm not even worth the time for the guy to write a full sentence, then he should not bother. Just my opinion.
My opinion on the winks, it means they are to lazy to write a note and a trolling for a response from you. Then if you respond they will put in time and effort to write something, my opinion, not worth your time.Hmmm I didn't think of that! I filled out most of my profile but there are a few sections I'm still missing.
On other note, what is up with the wink? Does that mean people are too lazy to send an email?
Sorry, like I said I'm new to this and trying to learn the ropes.
I'd be interested to see (from the total number of winks) the proportion of Women Vs Men.
My guess (out of my *kitten*) would be that (for winks sent) the split is 80% women/20% men. Women are lazy online. Fact!
Women are primarily waiting for something to happen, and the MOST women can do is often a wink. The fact that you can complain about the men not writing a full sentence is a luxury (I hope you realise this!), because the competition is too fierce on the men side.
I'm sure you are right about the "winkers" being predominately female. And I was not "complaining" about the men that don't write a full sentence, I'm just saying that for me (just me), it's not going to get an answer. Same as the guy who once wrote to me "I'm good looking and you're hot, so babe, I'm sure we'd hit it off".... he did not get an answer either (and no, it was not meant as a funny intro). There is no point in getting frustrated, disappointed or annoyed with online dating. I just take the good and the bad and laugh a lot.0
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