temptations...frustration.....
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anewlife4me8610
Posts: 91 Member
The theme song from the 80's movie modern problems is like playing over and over in my head! lol Just kidding, but today was a bit on the rough side for me. I was a bit grouchy and well, *****y! I had to give myself an attitude adjustment.
So many times, I have given in to this, given into to food and calories and eaten in blissful ignorance, and for what? Just to feel empty and to feel self loath? I would prefer to just sit on my hands until they are too numb to hold a fork!!!! lol
Seriously, I know this transition is going to be a hard one. NO one comes off of a substance with no withdraw, no cravings, no issues....food is just something we can not abstain from...we have to eat...imagine the alcoholic who thought they could just drink a little to take the edge off....or the heroine addict who just wanted a small fix ....food addicts cant quit cold turkey! We have to eat....but with self control and hard work, we can survive the moment and make the best choices for a brighter tomorrow. One day, I hope that my decisions will come faster to me, that my cravings will not pull me like a magnet to a bag of salty fatty chips....but for now, I just have to remind myself what the hell I am doing here....and why...even if it means taping up body shots of myself to the fridge and every cupboard in my house, or standing in front a mirror with my lunch and watching myself eat it...I will do what it takes to get this day over and pray the next day is a little softer on me...Its been a great week, I have prevailed! I have stuck it out...EVERY day this week and that is a great feeling....
So many times, I have given in to this, given into to food and calories and eaten in blissful ignorance, and for what? Just to feel empty and to feel self loath? I would prefer to just sit on my hands until they are too numb to hold a fork!!!! lol
Seriously, I know this transition is going to be a hard one. NO one comes off of a substance with no withdraw, no cravings, no issues....food is just something we can not abstain from...we have to eat...imagine the alcoholic who thought they could just drink a little to take the edge off....or the heroine addict who just wanted a small fix ....food addicts cant quit cold turkey! We have to eat....but with self control and hard work, we can survive the moment and make the best choices for a brighter tomorrow. One day, I hope that my decisions will come faster to me, that my cravings will not pull me like a magnet to a bag of salty fatty chips....but for now, I just have to remind myself what the hell I am doing here....and why...even if it means taping up body shots of myself to the fridge and every cupboard in my house, or standing in front a mirror with my lunch and watching myself eat it...I will do what it takes to get this day over and pray the next day is a little softer on me...Its been a great week, I have prevailed! I have stuck it out...EVERY day this week and that is a great feeling....
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