How to be a good girlfriend and more questions...
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at least it wasn't in an intimate moment. it was just casual conversation but i think he's reallllllllllly intrigued and curious to meet FL.
i feel bad because all the people that are coming are in pairs. my friend is bringing her bf, my cousin and her hub, Smiley and me and then there's FL. i have another gf that might come by herself after a concert but it's not in stone. either way, my friend and i always dance and take pictures so i doubt we'll be with our SO's the whole night. boys can hang out together...0 -
Not the worst thing that could have happened. The name thing is hilarious, I'd have DIED. It's an honest mistake though he's caught you out asking questions you didn't expect which has made you think about FL even when the conversations flowed elsewhere and you've said the wrong name. If it was in bed it would have been 10000x worse lol..
As for him being curious, I dunno I guess we're all different in that respect. I know guys that want to know absolutely nothing of their partners past history and I know people that are really curious. I'm one of the curious ones, I want to know how that person has become what they've become and the people they know and have in their lives but maybe that's just me. The last girl I saw we were that detailed that we talked about almost every partner we'd had and even some of the things we'd done. End of the day it's in the past and there's nothing either of you can do about it other than move on.
I hope they get along though and there's none of the macho stuff going on trying to 1 up each other everywhere. I've seen it before and it's not pretty!0 -
apparently I need to stop casually talking about him but I talk about all my friends.. he just so happens to be the only guy one) because I'm giving him way too much attention in my relationship.
This. You are wise. Listen to yourself.I then call SMILEY by FL's NAME. I didn't even realize until Smiley said "WHOA WHOA WHOA.. WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?" Then I realized it and turned so red and apologized.
That really stinks… I can imagine the embarrassment, and am proud of Smiley’s good response. I wonder if after this move perhaps you can silently separate yourself from FL. Smiley seems too good to lose over an old boyfriend-turned-friend. Wasn’t FL supposed to move out of state soon?
I’m not one to advocate ditching friends for a new man, but I also believe it’s smart to temper close friendships where there’s been previous intimacy.0 -
He's asked more questions about FL than about my ex. I think the fact that FL calls and texts every now and then peaked his curiousity. Plus, I mention FL in stories I share with him. I definately don't talk about him a lot but I do talk about ALL of my friends in general.
I don't know how he figured I met FL on a dating site. That surprised me but he said he just figured it out. hmmm.... Plus, I have pics of me and FL up in FB. I'm sure Smiley has seen them but they're under "Friends" or what not.
It'll be fine. I think Smiley is a bit jealous of FL which is flattering but I also think he likes to tease me. We were talking about dating on POF last night. He told me he's had about 4 dates from there, including me... And I was like OH REALLY? So I said yeah I probably dated about 10 different guys just from POF.. then he said his were in the last 2 years (before ex gf and after ex). I cracked up and told him how mine were all since January. I told him I didn't hook up, it was just fun then he came along and fun turned into more.
He said now he felt he had to live up to even more standards because I had my pick and he was the choice of the litter lol. I agreed! Yeah buddy and don't ever forget that!!0 -
apparently I need to stop casually talking about him but I talk about all my friends.. he just so happens to be the only guy one) because I'm giving him way too much attention in my relationship.
This. You are wise. Listen to yourself.I then call SMILEY by FL's NAME. I didn't even realize until Smiley said "WHOA WHOA WHOA.. WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?" Then I realized it and turned so red and apologized.
That really stinks… I can imagine the embarrassment, and am proud of Smiley’s good response. I wonder if after this move perhaps you can silently separate yourself from FL. Smiley seems too good to lose over an old boyfriend-turned-friend. Wasn’t FL supposed to move out of state soon?
I’m not one to advocate ditching friends for a new man, but I also believe it’s smart to temper close friendships where there’s been previous intimacy.
I'm just glad he didn't ask me if I had slept with him. I was honest with Smiley and told him I had had sex after my divorce but I don't think it's his business with who. He asked about kissing which by my not confirming nor denying it, gave him his answer I think.
I have seperated myself from FL. I haven't seen him since Easter. He'll be moving in 2 weeks. I'll see him Saturday and hopefully at least once more before he goes. I've talked to him a couple of times on the phone just for little catch up but it's different now. I won't be going to his apt alone and things like that, not because I don't trust myself but because like you said, the previous intimacy. He's texted me small talk and I'll text back but I'm aware of boundaries. Smiley's old roommate was female. I met her and felt no threat whatsoever... and they'll text sometimes. So I figure we're okay with having friends of the opposite sex but then again, he doesn't know my history with FL so it's different.0 -
Does this guy know how much stuff you post about him on a daily basis?0
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I figure we're okay with having friends of the opposite sex but then again, he doesn't know my history with FL so it's different.
Was he ever intimate with his roomate? sounds like he wasn't.0 -
He's asked more questions about FL than about my ex. I think the fact that FL calls and texts every now and then peaked his curiousity. Plus, I mention FL in stories I share with him. I definately don't talk about him a lot but I do talk about ALL of my friends in general.
I don't know how he figured I met FL on a dating site. That surprised me but he said he just figured it out. hmmm.... Plus, I have pics of me and FL up in FB. I'm sure Smiley has seen them but they're under "Friends" or what not.
It'll be fine. I think Smiley is a bit jealous of FL which is flattering but I also think he likes to tease me. We were talking about dating on POF last night. He told me he's had about 4 dates from there, including me... And I was like OH REALLY? So I said yeah I probably dated about 10 different guys just from POF.. then he said his were in the last 2 years (before ex gf and after ex). I cracked up and told him how mine were all since January. I told him I didn't hook up, it was just fun then he came along and fun turned into more.
He said now he felt he had to live up to even more standards because I had my pick and he was the choice of the litter lol. I agreed! Yeah buddy and don't ever forget that!!
Umm you do talk about FL a lot. At least on here, maybe not in your normal day to day. But on here, a lot.0 -
I figure we're okay with having friends of the opposite sex but then again, he doesn't know my history with FL so it's different.
Was he ever intimate with his roomate? sounds like he wasn't.
No..
And hellz no my bf doesn't know I post about him.. but he's anonymous on here.. unless you're on my FB.0 -
No..Was he ever intimate with his roomate? sounds like he wasn't.
I think that’s the difference then.
My BGF and I don’t really associate when he’s dating someone. We used to date, that didn’t work out (family issues), but there’s still a TON of chemistry there . Get us too close alone and something’s probably gonna happen. We will ask each other text/fb questions about our current gf/bf or business but the convos are pithy, to the point, rare, and NOT in person. Unless we’re single.
With all that chemistry, I feel such boundaries are annoying but necessary to let future men know I’m not just “settling” for them since I can’t have BGF.
Maybe FL is just “one of those guys” for you.0 -
He's asked more questions about FL than about my ex. I think the fact that FL calls and texts every now and then peaked his curiousity. Plus, I mention FL in stories I share with him. I definately don't talk about him a lot but I do talk about ALL of my friends in general.
I don't know how he figured I met FL on a dating site. That surprised me but he said he just figured it out. hmmm.... Plus, I have pics of me and FL up in FB. I'm sure Smiley has seen them but they're under "Friends" or what not.
It'll be fine. I think Smiley is a bit jealous of FL which is flattering but I also think he likes to tease me. We were talking about dating on POF last night. He told me he's had about 4 dates from there, including me... And I was like OH REALLY? So I said yeah I probably dated about 10 different guys just from POF.. then he said his were in the last 2 years (before ex gf and after ex). I cracked up and told him how mine were all since January. I told him I didn't hook up, it was just fun then he came along and fun turned into more.
He said now he felt he had to live up to even more standards because I had my pick and he was the choice of the litter lol. I agreed! Yeah buddy and don't ever forget that!!
Umm you do talk about FL a lot. At least on here, maybe not in your normal day to day. But on here, a lot.
I used to talk about him a lot. Not anymore. And I'm not dumb, I'd never talk about FL a lot with my boyfriend. Like I said, when we share stories about our pasts or friends, sometimes FL's name comes up. He was practically my bff for 3 months. We spent a lot of time toghether, made a lot of funny memories.
However, I do understand that I need to have boundaries now. My boyfriend is the #1 guy in my life now, just as he should be.
If and that's a big IF, I were to go visit FL in MN when he moves, I'd invite boyfriend. Hopefully they hit it off on Saturday and it'd be no big deal.
I haven't seen FL since Easter but honestly, Smiley took over my heart, body, and mind since then. He just swept me up. I really think seeing FL will be just fine and I'll definately be respectful to my boyfriend.
FL called me a while ago and he asked if Smiley knew our back story, how we met, etc.. I told him he did and that I was honest but that I didn't go into detail because it doesn't matter. What matters is that we've been just friends. Yes, you all know I had feelings for FL but he didn't know (at least I never came out and told him- thank God!!!). I even told FL I described our relationship as brother and sister type to Smiley because it sort of was...
FL said that the thing is, usually boyfriends will think that the guy friend has been wanting to sleep with the girl and just never had the chance and that's what he would think if it was the other way around. So FL thinks that Smiley is going to assume that... which I told him no, I made it clear we went out a couple of times then decided to be friends. I don't think boyfriend is going to overthink. I'm not sure why he brought this up.. it came up when he asked if he was going to get to meet my boyfriend. I told him to not be awkward because I'm not, and he said no, he's not...
Eh..0
