How to be a good girlfriend and more questions...
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Be honest and true to who you are, what you do, and what you say.
A sandwich and some Gentleman Jack now and then too!
Best. Answer. Yet.0 -
Well said! We can deal with the once a month random crying or yelling, but any more than that is kind of a red flag.Thank you boys.
Does a girl crying freak you out? Seems Smiley is okay with it but we were in the dark in bed, for all I know he could have been rolling his eyes, laughing at me or giving me a deer in headlights look. I doubt it.. but I've always heard a woman crying makes a guy freak out.
All depends on what you're crying about.
If you're crying because you're emotional at that TOM and upset about something, no it doesn't freak me out. If you're crying because I can't take another episode of Lifetime, then, well, suck it up sweetheart
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I don't know if anyone watched Everybody Loves Raymond, but there was an episode where Ray saw Debra sobbing, and it turned out she just liked to cry sometimes. It's true! Sometimes if I'm particularly sad, I will just think of sad things and make myself cry, because it feels good - it's like yelling or screaming or talking it out with someone. So if your girlfriend is that type, ask her periodically how things are going and allow her to talk openly to you about it! I bet the crying episodes will decrease.0
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I didn't want to jump in until I thought about this. A good girlfriend earns her quirks. You can cry, PMS, snore or even pee standing up. But you have to make us overlook all that with the way you look at us, the way you talk to us, the way you talk about us, the things you do for us, the things you let us do for you, etc. Earn your quirks!0
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I didn't want to jump in until I thought about this. A good girlfriend earns her quirks. You can cry, PMS, snore or even pee standing up. But you have to make us overlook all that with the way you look at us, the way you talk to us, the way you talk about us, the things you do for us, the things you let us do for you, etc. Earn your quirks!
this is a great answer.......actually makes total sense 0 -
I didn't want to jump in until I thought about this. A good girlfriend earns her quirks. You can cry, PMS, snore or even pee standing up. But you have to make us overlook all that with the way you look at us, the way you talk to us, the way you talk about us, the things you do for us, the things you let us do for you, etc. Earn your quirks!
Awwww. That is cute.0 -
I didn't want to jump in until I thought about this. A good girlfriend earns her quirks. You can cry, PMS, snore or even pee standing up. But you have to make us overlook all that with the way you look at us, the way you talk to us, the way you talk about us, the things you do for us, the things you let us do for you, etc. Earn your quirks!
This is good!!!!!0 -
Smiley came over yesterday to help me move. We ended up hanging out for about an hour just talking and playing around. I brought up the whole PMS/ crying thing. He said we were fine but that he thinks sometimes I'm too sensitive. (Ya think?!? I'm bleeding and cramping SMILEY) But I heard him out and then I talked about how he seems to not be very expressive sometimes. I guess we're just getting to know each other and it's interesting. I love it but at times I guess I'm just trying to figure it all out. He says he's not expressive with negative feelings. He usually just ignores them and then forgets about them. I'm more "let's talk about my negative feelings". Maybe it's a woman/ man thing... but we talked it out, laughed and then he cried (haha mocked me). Then we wrestled and made out. We talked about kids, family, Christmas, and whatever intimate subject came up. It was nice.
OMG! So I don't know if I told ya'll that he asked about FL the day before last.. He asked how we met. I don't remember how FL came up but he did. Anywho, Smiley says "you met online huh?" I about choked and said "what? what do you mean?" He said "you met online on the dating thing" He said he put 2 and 2 together (whatever that means). I was honest and told him how we met through POF and dated for a week or 2 but then we decided to be friends and that's all we had been since.
So last night, FL comes up again... I'm not sure if Smiley is really jealous or bothered by him or if he's teasing me but FL was on my FB yesterday here and there. Plus he had texted me earlier to which Smiley saw it was FL. I have no reason to hide who I'm talking to so it's all in the open. So last night, Smiley asked me if I had ever kissed FL. WTH? I turned red and asked him why would he ask me that. Smiley is easy going and calm. I just think he's really curious. So I told him it really didn't matter because we're friends and that Smiley is who I want. I told him nicely to please stop bringing up FL (and apparently I need to stop casually talking about him but I talk about all my friends.. he just so happens to be the only guy one) because I'm giving him way too much attention in my relationship. Plus, we're going to see him on Saturday and I don't want to feel awkward. FL is cool, Smiley is cool... should be no awkwardness. Smiley just smiled and I told him he had no reason to ever worry about FL- ever!
3 minutes later we're talking about something else. I then call SMILEY by FL's NAME. I didn't even realize until Smiley said "WHOA WHOA WHOA.. WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?" Then I realized it and turned so red and apologized. I said we had just been talking about him and the name must have slipped out. I kept saying how sorry I was.. and he had turned a bit red. It was horrible.
:sad: He was fine but I was so embarrassed.0 -
I didn't want to jump in until I thought about this. A good girlfriend earns her quirks. You can cry, PMS, snore or even pee standing up. But you have to make us overlook all that with the way you look at us, the way you talk to us, the way you talk about us, the things you do for us, the things you let us do for you, etc. Earn your quirks!
NO! You have to love ME FOR ME! YOU'RE the one that's supposed to be PERFECT! I am allowed to be flawed!
/satire
Seriously I love this.0 -
3 minutes later we're talking about something else. I then call SMILEY by FL's NAME. I didn't even realize until Smiley said "WHOA WHOA WHOA.. WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?" Then I realized it and turned so red and apologized. I said we had just been talking about him and the name must have slipped out. I kept saying how sorry I was.. and he had turned a bit red. It was horrible.
:sad: He was fine but I was so embarrassed.
OMFG. O.M.F.G. OMG. That is horrifying. BUT .. you probably made him panic a little and that always makes a person want you more when they think there is a chance they may lose you. Not that he does, but it doesn't hurt.0 -
at least it wasn't in an intimate moment. it was just casual conversation but i think he's reallllllllllly intrigued and curious to meet FL.
i feel bad because all the people that are coming are in pairs. my friend is bringing her bf, my cousin and her hub, Smiley and me and then there's FL. i have another gf that might come by herself after a concert but it's not in stone. either way, my friend and i always dance and take pictures so i doubt we'll be with our SO's the whole night. boys can hang out together...0 -
Not the worst thing that could have happened. The name thing is hilarious, I'd have DIED. It's an honest mistake though he's caught you out asking questions you didn't expect which has made you think about FL even when the conversations flowed elsewhere and you've said the wrong name. If it was in bed it would have been 10000x worse lol..
As for him being curious, I dunno I guess we're all different in that respect. I know guys that want to know absolutely nothing of their partners past history and I know people that are really curious. I'm one of the curious ones, I want to know how that person has become what they've become and the people they know and have in their lives but maybe that's just me. The last girl I saw we were that detailed that we talked about almost every partner we'd had and even some of the things we'd done. End of the day it's in the past and there's nothing either of you can do about it other than move on.
I hope they get along though and there's none of the macho stuff going on trying to 1 up each other everywhere. I've seen it before and it's not pretty!0 -
apparently I need to stop casually talking about him but I talk about all my friends.. he just so happens to be the only guy one) because I'm giving him way too much attention in my relationship.
This. You are wise. Listen to yourself.I then call SMILEY by FL's NAME. I didn't even realize until Smiley said "WHOA WHOA WHOA.. WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?" Then I realized it and turned so red and apologized.
That really stinks… I can imagine the embarrassment, and am proud of Smiley’s good response. I wonder if after this move perhaps you can silently separate yourself from FL. Smiley seems too good to lose over an old boyfriend-turned-friend. Wasn’t FL supposed to move out of state soon?
I’m not one to advocate ditching friends for a new man, but I also believe it’s smart to temper close friendships where there’s been previous intimacy.0 -
He's asked more questions about FL than about my ex. I think the fact that FL calls and texts every now and then peaked his curiousity. Plus, I mention FL in stories I share with him. I definately don't talk about him a lot but I do talk about ALL of my friends in general.
I don't know how he figured I met FL on a dating site. That surprised me but he said he just figured it out. hmmm.... Plus, I have pics of me and FL up in FB. I'm sure Smiley has seen them but they're under "Friends" or what not.
It'll be fine. I think Smiley is a bit jealous of FL which is flattering but I also think he likes to tease me. We were talking about dating on POF last night. He told me he's had about 4 dates from there, including me... And I was like OH REALLY? So I said yeah I probably dated about 10 different guys just from POF.. then he said his were in the last 2 years (before ex gf and after ex). I cracked up and told him how mine were all since January. I told him I didn't hook up, it was just fun then he came along and fun turned into more.
He said now he felt he had to live up to even more standards because I had my pick and he was the choice of the litter lol. I agreed! Yeah buddy and don't ever forget that!!0 -
apparently I need to stop casually talking about him but I talk about all my friends.. he just so happens to be the only guy one) because I'm giving him way too much attention in my relationship.
This. You are wise. Listen to yourself.I then call SMILEY by FL's NAME. I didn't even realize until Smiley said "WHOA WHOA WHOA.. WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?" Then I realized it and turned so red and apologized.
That really stinks… I can imagine the embarrassment, and am proud of Smiley’s good response. I wonder if after this move perhaps you can silently separate yourself from FL. Smiley seems too good to lose over an old boyfriend-turned-friend. Wasn’t FL supposed to move out of state soon?
I’m not one to advocate ditching friends for a new man, but I also believe it’s smart to temper close friendships where there’s been previous intimacy.
I'm just glad he didn't ask me if I had slept with him. I was honest with Smiley and told him I had had sex after my divorce but I don't think it's his business with who. He asked about kissing which by my not confirming nor denying it, gave him his answer I think.
I have seperated myself from FL. I haven't seen him since Easter. He'll be moving in 2 weeks. I'll see him Saturday and hopefully at least once more before he goes. I've talked to him a couple of times on the phone just for little catch up but it's different now. I won't be going to his apt alone and things like that, not because I don't trust myself but because like you said, the previous intimacy. He's texted me small talk and I'll text back but I'm aware of boundaries. Smiley's old roommate was female. I met her and felt no threat whatsoever... and they'll text sometimes. So I figure we're okay with having friends of the opposite sex but then again, he doesn't know my history with FL so it's different.0 -
Does this guy know how much stuff you post about him on a daily basis?0
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I figure we're okay with having friends of the opposite sex but then again, he doesn't know my history with FL so it's different.
Was he ever intimate with his roomate? sounds like he wasn't.0 -
He's asked more questions about FL than about my ex. I think the fact that FL calls and texts every now and then peaked his curiousity. Plus, I mention FL in stories I share with him. I definately don't talk about him a lot but I do talk about ALL of my friends in general.
I don't know how he figured I met FL on a dating site. That surprised me but he said he just figured it out. hmmm.... Plus, I have pics of me and FL up in FB. I'm sure Smiley has seen them but they're under "Friends" or what not.
It'll be fine. I think Smiley is a bit jealous of FL which is flattering but I also think he likes to tease me. We were talking about dating on POF last night. He told me he's had about 4 dates from there, including me... And I was like OH REALLY? So I said yeah I probably dated about 10 different guys just from POF.. then he said his were in the last 2 years (before ex gf and after ex). I cracked up and told him how mine were all since January. I told him I didn't hook up, it was just fun then he came along and fun turned into more.
He said now he felt he had to live up to even more standards because I had my pick and he was the choice of the litter lol. I agreed! Yeah buddy and don't ever forget that!!
Umm you do talk about FL a lot. At least on here, maybe not in your normal day to day. But on here, a lot.0 -
I figure we're okay with having friends of the opposite sex but then again, he doesn't know my history with FL so it's different.
Was he ever intimate with his roomate? sounds like he wasn't.
No..
And hellz no my bf doesn't know I post about him.. but he's anonymous on here.. unless you're on my FB.0 -
No..Was he ever intimate with his roomate? sounds like he wasn't.
I think that’s the difference then.
My BGF and I don’t really associate when he’s dating someone. We used to date, that didn’t work out (family issues), but there’s still a TON of chemistry there . Get us too close alone and something’s probably gonna happen. We will ask each other text/fb questions about our current gf/bf or business but the convos are pithy, to the point, rare, and NOT in person. Unless we’re single.
With all that chemistry, I feel such boundaries are annoying but necessary to let future men know I’m not just “settling” for them since I can’t have BGF.
Maybe FL is just “one of those guys” for you.0
