Poll
Options
Carl01
Posts: 9,370 Member
Ladies when there is something bothering you or there is a problem as you see it do you want a guy to...
A) Listen patiently,say very little other then maybe what is needed to lead you along to getting it all out of your system.
Suggest solutions or offer to take care of the problem.
C) Both...sometimes all of one or the other or both in the same conversation with no exact way to determine which and when but he should know!! :sad: :explode:
A) Listen patiently,say very little other then maybe what is needed to lead you along to getting it all out of your system.
Suggest solutions or offer to take care of the problem.C) Both...sometimes all of one or the other or both in the same conversation with no exact way to determine which and when but he should know!! :sad: :explode:
0
Replies
-
Depends.. if it's a problem with US, I want him to be proactive in the conversation and offer solutions because if he were to just listen and say 'uh huh', I'd feel he wasn't interested in bettering our relationship/ communication.
If it's a problem concerning me, my family, work, whatever... probably A.0 -
you mean a problem in general or a problem in the relationship? i feel differently based on WHERE the problem is :-)0
-
Have to go with La Am on this.......totallly depends on the situation
0 -
A problem in general I guess,something that has caused stress.
Right off the bat I see a difficulty because I see all problems in the same light although with different levels of severity.
Might not get a sort of accurate result because of that.0 -
Problems in general (problems only involving me) such ask work, friends, clothes and how they fit etc would be A
Problems that deal with the both of us would be B.0 -
I'm going to go with B -- however I don't want the "offer to take care of it" part of B.
I will tell you the thing I miss MOST about having my ex around is that I just don't have anyone to bounce ideas off of. It's nice to just #1 - Vent... #2 - Discuss options or hear another point of view. #3 - I can take care of solving the problem unless it's something like I just can't be in two places at once. That's also nice to be helped out with.0 -
Am curious now,aren`t many or most problems a potential "us" one?
Job issues and financial impact,family ones and overall relations as they can be affected?0 -
I always want him to listen. And I mean really listen, not just muttering "uh huh" every 10 seconds. But after that, I want to know what he thinks. If he has a solution, I want to hear it. If he just has a different take on the situation that might help me see things more clearly, I want to hear that, too. As I mentioned in another thread, I just do not see the point in telling someone about a problem and leaving it unsolved. It doesn't make sense to me.0
-
A all the way.
One of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships is caused by this basic gender difference ie the woman wanting help to process her feelings and the guy leaping to solutions. Solution finding is fine once A is out of the way 0 -
A for general
B for a couple issue... the offer solutions part
I prefer A if it's me venting... sometimes I don't need an opinion or solution... just comfort.0 -
It depends on if I'm asking advice (which means I want "B") or if I want help talking it through (which validates my feelings and also helps me develop a solution- "A").
I was married long enough to learn that if I’m not asking for advice, I should preface what I say with something like , "do you have a minute to help me think something through? not looking for a solution just yet... just trying to explore all the angles." Otherwise, I'd get a cold hard solution that may or may not even apply to my situation and usually makes me feel like he thinks I'm totally stupid for even thinking or feeling that way.
When it comes to "us" problems, I don't like tension at home, so when a problem arises I'm very quick to bring it up and want him to help me solve it. Because if I think he’s causing the problem, it won’t get solved unless he’s motivated to do something about it.0 -
C..definitely yes.0
-
I dont have problems :bigsmile:
:laugh:
Hmmm, I think C, as each discussion is different, but I dont expect him to know the answer, as long as it ends in sex, I'm good :smokin:0 -
I always want him to be proactive in the conversation. Working together is the only way to have true relationship -- otherwise you just have a pet.
Stopping me at certain points to gather more information -- and interjecting, as long as he's not overstepping my words... we all need a time to be able to "have our say" -- so a conversation is what I look for... not a one-way talk a thon... I get that with my sister! She talks AT me rather than to me or with me. Hate that.0 -
B. Having a solution always makes me feel so much better than pointless talking.0
-
Ok so I'll be honest here I'm an 'A' person. Mostly I already know what i need to do and I just want to vent lol0
-
I've been single for so long that I'm used to figuring out things for myself without a lot of help from others, I guess. But I always like someone to make me feel better anyway. So maybe I'm leaning more toward B.
I know with the guys at work, when I am talking about something with them (even work-related) and they have little to say in response, I get irritated and begin thinking they do not care much about what I'm saying and are annoyed by me. So I'm definitely a B person.0 -
C - definitely C, depends on the individual problem, what mood I'm in and possibly what the weather is doing that day 0
-
With me, it's safe to assume A unless I specify otherwise.0
-
each discussion is different, but I dont expect him to know the answer, as long as it ends in sex, I'm good :smokin:
Lol. Admit it, you fake the problems to get to the "solution" :laugh:0
