Who am I?

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cakeladynl
cakeladynl Posts: 6 Member
A little about me. I have been over-weight / obese / super obese most of my life. I have been able to lose weight (150+) pounds before, but could not keep it off. I'm 37, a mother and wife. I started mfp at 323 pds, and in two months have lost 35 pds.

The biggest shock to my system, and started me on this road to recovery was at the beginning of March my Dr. suggested Bariatric surgery. I came to realize that I was out of control. I'm am still considering bariatric surgery as a tool I may need to keep the weight off, but for now, there is a two year wait, and I have to start today and work towards being a healthier person.

I have started a blog on my profile as well, to openly thinkg about where I am track my thoughts. I thought I would include today's here just to let people know a little about me.

Feel free to ad me as a "friend" throught support and understanding, we all can work together to be a healthier person.

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“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” – Harvey S. Firestone

I was reading a few blogs on weight loss and this quote was on one, it really got me thinking. Who am I?

I realized I and fluidic; ever-changing, who I am today is not the same person I was last year, the year before or the year before that. I've been searching for a person that does not exist. I am who I am today and have to embrace that person.

Today, I am a wife and mother first.
I work to live, but do not live to work.
I also do not live by the scale, and focus on the #’s. It is great when there is a loss, but accepts that there will not always be a loss. My mind and body are changing, and this process will take time.

I accept that my other attempts to loss weight and keep it off failed, but realize that I focusing on weight loss 24 - 7 for two years straight is not healthy and did not bring fulfillment or happiness just exhaustion, pain, and disappointment when I could no longer keep it up. I also accept that I cannot change other’s perceptions of the over-weight me or the ‘skinny’ me. Those around me who really care about the person I am accept me for me. I have to do the same.

I became my own victim. I pushed myself beyond anything that another person would push me, or I would push someone else.

I'm constantly learning along this journey, choices I make along this road may not always be the 'right' ones. But as long as the 'right' ones out number the 'bad' it's ok.

I aspire to be the best I can be today, not in the future.
I have to teach my children to love their selves as they are, set goals and have dreams.

Every parents dream is for their children to grown up happy and healthy. We don't think they have to be over-achievers, the 'top of the class', that they have to be a certain size or shape. We want them to be happy, healthy and well-adjusted, therefore isn't that what we should want for ourselves?

Weight loss does not bring happiness.
Weight loss brings health.
Which is something needed to have a long future, and more days to enjoy the world around you.
Happiness to me is when my three year old son crawls in bed with me in the early morning, cuddles in and puts his hand on my cheek and says "I love you mummy". I have achieved that at 300 lbs.
The person I am today is looking at weight loss differently; I need to lose weight to be able to have many more "I love you mummy" mornings.