My Family Might As Well Just B***h Slap Me
Shirvona
Posts: 43 Member
So my family doesn't understand the crap I am going through with dealing with PCOS and infertility. I have been TTC for just about six years now, and when I hear people come into my store and tell me that they are pregnant or that their children are pregnant it breaks my heart, not that I am not happy for them I am, but I get depressed every time.
My older sister works with a girl that has PCOS and figured it would be a good idea to call and tell me thinking it would give me hope and I told her that she might as well punch me in the gut because every person with PCOS is different, every person.
Now my younger sister had me go and see her so that she could tell me that she was 6 weeks pregnant and this really got me depressed. To understand why, here it goes. Her husband had cancer as a teenager and went through 10 years of chemotherapy so you would think that would of killed off all his little swimmers, guess not. So the chances of her getting pregnant were extremely slim. And my entire family just had to remind me of the chances of her getting pregnant and yet she did!
Not to say I am not happy for her, I am. I feel really bad because I actually found myself thinking, "I hope you have a miscarriage so the you know how I feel" and I don't want that to happen (I hope that never happens to anyone) and I was good told her I was happy for her and sat around and made small talk for a while before leaving. Before leaving I gave her a smart *kitten* comment of "You're going to be a huge pregnant lady!" and I explained because she is so short (barely 5 feet tall) that baby is going to have no choice but grow outward, my mother told her that I was just bitter (thanks mom, how about punching me again). I don't think I was even down the drive way before I started crying, I actually had to pull over for a while until I could see again. When I got home the first thing I wanted to do was through out my medication and just give up and I still feel this way. Why should I even bother, obviously I am not ment to have children of my own.
If people like my sister, who had a better chance of winning 2 lotteries in a row then to get pregnant, does manage to get pregnant and then there is me who has gone to over 6 doctors, 2 specialists gone through surgery (ovarian drilling), is on current medication that if you are on to long will give you cancer, and I am finally managing to lose some weight, and yet nothing. 6 years and nothing! I am sick and tired of having pregnant people thrown in my face day after day. I am tired of people saying "When it is your time then it is your time!" or "stop trying and then it will happen!" I am just tired of it all!
My older sister works with a girl that has PCOS and figured it would be a good idea to call and tell me thinking it would give me hope and I told her that she might as well punch me in the gut because every person with PCOS is different, every person.
Now my younger sister had me go and see her so that she could tell me that she was 6 weeks pregnant and this really got me depressed. To understand why, here it goes. Her husband had cancer as a teenager and went through 10 years of chemotherapy so you would think that would of killed off all his little swimmers, guess not. So the chances of her getting pregnant were extremely slim. And my entire family just had to remind me of the chances of her getting pregnant and yet she did!
Not to say I am not happy for her, I am. I feel really bad because I actually found myself thinking, "I hope you have a miscarriage so the you know how I feel" and I don't want that to happen (I hope that never happens to anyone) and I was good told her I was happy for her and sat around and made small talk for a while before leaving. Before leaving I gave her a smart *kitten* comment of "You're going to be a huge pregnant lady!" and I explained because she is so short (barely 5 feet tall) that baby is going to have no choice but grow outward, my mother told her that I was just bitter (thanks mom, how about punching me again). I don't think I was even down the drive way before I started crying, I actually had to pull over for a while until I could see again. When I got home the first thing I wanted to do was through out my medication and just give up and I still feel this way. Why should I even bother, obviously I am not ment to have children of my own.
If people like my sister, who had a better chance of winning 2 lotteries in a row then to get pregnant, does manage to get pregnant and then there is me who has gone to over 6 doctors, 2 specialists gone through surgery (ovarian drilling), is on current medication that if you are on to long will give you cancer, and I am finally managing to lose some weight, and yet nothing. 6 years and nothing! I am sick and tired of having pregnant people thrown in my face day after day. I am tired of people saying "When it is your time then it is your time!" or "stop trying and then it will happen!" I am just tired of it all!
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I completely understand, its so hard to see people get pregnant all the time so easily, and its usually the ones who have tons of kids already, or ppl who dont even pay attention to their children etc. I have been through it all too, but decided that this was my year. I am going to concentrate on the weight loss first, then head back to the doctor. Its really hard to have faith, but I truly believe everything happens for a reason. And I believe it will happen for me, I just need to concentrate on my health first and have patience. But believe me, I know its so hard. We have to deal with this everyday and if you havent been through it, u couldnt possibly understand, which most ppl dont. I dont have a lot of advice for u, but just know ur not alone, and keep the faith!0
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It burns me up too. I have a friend that it took her 17 months to conceive her second child. She kept stating she understands infertility, because it took her so long. It ruffles my feathers every time she does it. It hurts to see people have such an easy time, and then I have to fight tooth and nail to get pregnant.0
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I am right there with you. you have the right to your feelings and frustrations. I am sorry that your famiy is not understanding your point of view but you are not alone. I want to be a mommy so bad and am doing what I can to get healthy and save money for treatment. I have been trying for 10 years with PCOS diagnosis only 2 years ago. I have to keep my mind positive and believe that it it will happen for me. Good luck to you!0
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They think it is funny to sit there and make jokes about not trying the right way, or to tell me that I am over exaggerating about the stuff I am going through. They just expect me to sit down and put a smile on my face, well I can't do that anymore. I have been doing it for nearly a decade! I don't know how to make them understand that while they are making their fun and having a good time, that it is ripping me apart. I am suppose to do a road trip with my mother on Sunday and the only thing I am thinking about right now is leaving her on the side of the ditch somewhere, let her fend for herself (I know this makes me sound completely insane but it is how I feel), I also want to call my sister up and tell her that the reason she is still single is because she is just a b***h, no wonder guys just want to use her and then throw her away, don't want to deal with her BS. Now I don't want to do this but it the fantasy that is in my head right now.
Does anyone know anyway that I can explain to them where they would understand, I have tried in the past but they just blow it off as nothing!0 -
I had to get a kick out of my younger sister though. She sat there and said "You've lost weight!" and I told her that I am that I have lost about 9 lbs and then she said "Well, um, I am six weeks pregnant!" Gotta give her points she tried to make me feel better before knowing how I was going to feel after.0
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I told my family, "I don't ovulate, no egg, means no pregnancy, and it's hard on my heart when you flaunt what others are doing!"0
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Well my mother didn't even want to hear a word, I went to her house to tell her that jokes that she and my sister were making about me trying to get pregnant really fell hard on me and when mom yield across the house that I was bitter well that put me right over the edge. I tried to explain that I am not upset my younger sisters is pregnant, I am really upset with them and when I confronted her (I was upset so I did start right off with a high tone, but I was trying to stay calm and it wasn't working) about it she immediately shout at me "people have babies deal with it!" I knew she didn't understand at all that I was not upset by the pregnancy but the way they were talking about my trying as a big joke. My mom basically told me not to talk to her anymore.0
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Print out the information on it and just give it to them to look over.0
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Nope I am not of her concern anymore, she made her choice and I will respect that. I am done with explaining, I am done with crying, I am done! She doesn't want me talking to her that is fine, I just won't and I can live with that. As I sit here alone and reading over and over the things I wanted to tell her but she just couldn't be bothered listen, I am slowly feeling some relief and I don't need her. To bad for her because when I do become pregnant she is going to miss everything and I can live with that.0
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If that's what you need to feel better. My Mom is the one that thought I had PCOS 6 years before I was diagnosed. She did a lot of research on it. Not saying she treated my pregnancy well, but she was very well informed.0
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i know the feeling. it is hard dealing with PCOS TTC and having so many people around you get pregnant at the same time. In my case i have all 3 of my sis in laws plus one of my cousins just give birth within the last month. The crazy thing is that for all 4 of them the world is pretty much ending because they got pregnant. 2 are basically still in their teens and the other 2 just barely 23. They complain that what are they going to do now. Im here frustrated because my husband and i want a child but its not happening. But i will get there. Baby dust to everyone
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What I hate the most is that since I am having an issue with getting pregnant, that I am always the butt of all the sex jokes, that my husband and I should do it this way or that way or just hang me by my ankles, etc.
When I was younger I was in a lot of car accidents (12) but only 3 was I driving in and none at my fault, the last one my younger sister was in the back seat and broken glass got embedded in her head (she was fine, just surface stuff) but she had a lot of bleeding and it gave me nightmares (there is a whole lot more to that story but that is all that matters right now). A few days later my mother was making jokes about it to me and the whole situation while she was driving me home, and I made her pull over and I got out of the truck and started to walk back to town, when she asked what I was doing. I turned around with tears just pouring out and told her that, that was just what I needed to be reminded of the nightmares of blood pouring down my little sister's face one of the most horrifying moments of my life. I would rather walk back to town 15 miles and sleep in the park then go home with her. My family knows how I react to that stuff and yet they don't seem to care.
All the reading and stuff that I have read on PCOS most of it has segments in it about how to deal with your spouse and PCOS (my husband is the most supportive about it) I have yet to find anything that would help me deal with my family and PCOS.
I made my mother a DVD for mother's day, explain my side of things and how I feel since she won't hear me and also told me not to talk to her anymore. Hoping she gets and idea then, if she even watches the whole thing. But even if she does I don't think that our relationship is going to be saved in the least, really how could it after that. I know her pretty good and I am sure it is just going to make her more mad but at least I will know that got to tell my story.0 -
You can't make them listen to you, and forcing it on them isn't going to make it better. They are just going to tease you more. When my family goes wild, I just step back from the situation. I can't change them, but I don't have to give into their goading. You're giving them power by reacting. I don't react to my parents, I just say "fine, this is what I'm going to do, it's your turn." You have to come to terms with stuff before they are going to stop. Show them it doesn't bother you and it will stop. It will also make you a stronger person.0
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Im sorry!!! I have the same problem.. I want #2 and everyone around me, people that should and should not have any more keep popping up pregnant, and it's so hard to be happy for them, I hide them on FB, because I don't need the play by play of their morning sickness, or doctors appointments. Thats probably the most annoying part! My sister and my cousin are probably headed that way here anytime, and I jsut keep thinking.. how hard it will be for me to be happy for them. My mom says the same thing... with me it's you had a turn now it;s theirs. I dont' think people understand unless they are a person that their body hasn't let them do what it is supposed to. I am the only one in a long line of people that have problems with that. I guess I was lucky with my first pregnancy, I was on clomid and it took me 5 months, which I thought was forever then. This time clomid has not worked. And it's been over a year on meds, and before that probably another year or 2, so 3 years and nada. Try to keep your chin up and just keep on chuggin away.. one day .. it will be your day!!0
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I'm so sorry your family is giving you such a rough time! I just wish I could give you a big hug after reading this! My sister has had several miscarriages (I'm pretty sure she has PCOS too that is undiagnosed) and I know she hurts when she sees friends and family having babies. Thankfully Metformin has worked for me (when I'm not on it my cycles are crap) but I can't imagine how hard that must be to go through this and deal with mockery on top of everything. I hope things start looking up for you!0
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I understand how you feel 100%. Me and my husband have been ttc for almost 4 years now and nothing!!!! I was told that I have mild pcos a few months ago but my hubby wasnt checked. But I dont think the problem is him because he has two kids from a previous relationship. It just hurts because everyone around you is getting preggers and its like you are all alone and thats how I feel!!! Its so hard but I just try and stay positive everyday!0
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I totally know how you feel...I have co workers (I don't see her on a daily basis thank goodness) that purposely throws her pregnancy in my face. My mother in law doesn't understand either. So yeah it is super tough that is why we have to be there and positive and a sounding board for each other.0
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