How to deal

Sheilav330

How do you deal when one of your friends tell you that they are pregnant? is it a normal emotion to feel sadness and happiness at the same time? and what do u say to those people that are always asking so...when are you planning to have kids? I am getting married in 5 months and am sure that last question is going to be asked a whole lot? Yes i do have PCOS this is so frustrating

hadesflame

It's a lot easier to be nice in the beginning. I used to tell people (and my mom would back me up and say the same thing) "When we're ready, we'll have them. Right now we're getting used to married life." And we'd leave it at that.
After a while, I started to get a little snippy and probably shouldn't have but after 6 years of trying and hearing people say "It's ok. You don't NEED to have kids." I got angry. It's natural to be upset and jealous. In my line of work I deal with people all the time that don't want to have anything to do with their children and there's me, sitting there, wondering how they're allowed to have kids but I can't. It's hard and I cried on my husband's shoulders a lot. Having a good support system helps. It doesn't make the pain go away but it helps knowing someone is standing beside you.
I know medication doesn't work for everyone and then there's the people that just want to let "God" handle it but I'm not religious. I went to see a doctor. They did some tests on both of us just to see if maybe it wasn't me (yea right). Found out I wasn't dropping any eggs. It took two months. I think the first month I was more nervous than anything and I don't think I was watching the calendar properly. My beautiful amazing daughter was born 4/9/10 and my handsome son was born 11/14/11 and we're getting ready to try for #3.
Just remember: it's possible. It CAN happen. Do not get discouraged. When people start asking, just be polite and tell them "When we're ready and not a minute sooner." unless you want to be snarky. Then say whatever you want. lol
The point is, It's ok to be happy for someone else because it'll be your turn one day and nobody will be able to contain the emotion and excitement you feel when that little plus sign shows up.
Best of luck to you and congratulations on the wedding!! :drinker:

kathrynangelabaird

I struggle when any of my friends or anyone I know announces a pregnancy, It gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach. I was diagnosed nearly a year ago and I'm still coming to terms with everything but I find pregnancy is that one wall I can't seem to break down fully is when I hear of pregnancy but it does get easier and you do get a feeling of "That will be me one day" and that makes me ok inside now!

kimimila86

My best friend is a fertile myrtle... she's had 3 kids already and every time she tells me she's pregnant, I can't help but be extremely happy for her, but so depressed at the same time. She's a great mother and her husband wants another child soon... What's harder to handle when my husband's family or my family hone in on us and ask us when we'll start making some nieces, nephews, grandkids, etc... I just stay silent and let my husband answer because I don't want to go there anymore.

lolitarabinovich

Its a difficult situation to be in. You feel guilty for not being happier than you should be. You congratulate them, but resent them for something that's really no ones fault. I received news from 2 friends and 2 cousins that they were ALL pregnant at the same time (while I had been trying for three years). I wanted to hug them and punch them simultaneously. When I finally gave up and embraced the possibility of hormone therapy, I was surprised to find out I was pregnant.
Don't give up! There is hope! Just don't beat yourself up for anything. This is something we can all overcome and learn to live wonderful lives around it. What is most important is to live a healthy lifestyle. Good Luck!

lolita1982

I always just want to cry, I get asked all the time when me and much husband our gowing to have kids, I am so tired of it now I just say look I can't have them. I do try and feel happy for people but sill hurts

MatchGirl86

My best friend has been pregnant 3 times in 3 years (one miscarriage). She just told me about the third, after I've been going on and on for the last 6 months (6 months after I started TTC) about how much I want children and how hard it is to get pregnant. She was pained to tell me, but she knew I had to find out sooner or later. Of course I'm happy for her, and will love her child like my own. There is, however, a sneaky emotion that comes up every once in awhile that says, "That was supposed to be my baby." There's just nothing I can do about it but hope and pray that it will be me soon. I know she wants me to have a baby, too, and we'd love to be pregnant at the same time. I just keep telling myself that it's not jealousy, I just wish I could get pregnant and am sad that I can't.

Sheilav330

Ty so much for that i needed to hear that. sorry for the late response i am still new to mfp i feel a bit better

Sheilav330

TY so much i will remember that next time

Sheilav330

i can use some friends...if u don't mind adding me it would be appreciated you guys are all awesome...and i am not giving up ..just have to keep going and hope for the best in the future. have a wonderful night!