*sigh* I just do not know how to take this

Tropical_Turtle

Well the wonderful camping weekend I went on was still fabulous, but I could see some things that started to bug him when he told me his ex wife informed him she was getting married this summer. They have been divorced for a year, she took the dog, not the kid, left him for a guy she met on FB.

Monday morning after our camping trip things were fine we were joking around etc, things normal. By Monday afternoon, it hit him. He started to pull away - "I have some things I need to work through. You did nothing wrong. blah blah blah" So I just sent a text back "I am here to listen if you need. Just know you do not need to go through this alone." I step away and give him his space.

This morning I didnt text him - I get a text from him,"I am having a tough time with things. I am feeling kind of depressed, and just needing time to work through some things. You did nothing wrong. blah blah blah"

I am thinking he is having a hard time adjusting to the fact his ex wife is moving on and maybe feeling guilt for not being able to keep his family together, etc etc. (Then again I am a woman I tend to over think) I mean I can only imagine it is hard to see someone you were married to for 10 years ups and leaves you for some guy she met on the net, and abandoned you and your son. I know that would have to be a blow to the ego.

*sigh* I am heartbroken :brokenheart: that he is feeling like this, and I wish I could make it better, but I admit this is hard on me too. From a wonderful weekend to this. I just dont know how to take all this. :sad:

JanieJack

{{{{hugs}}}}

dbrightwell1270

Take it with a shot of tequila, give it some time and see how it plays out. You're probably right he is in a funk about the ex, but you have no idea what's going through his head or how long the funk will last.

The_Iron

Just be supportive but not invasive. Let him know you are there but without nagging or reminding him. Only discuss it when HE wants to. He will come back around.

(And if that doesn't work...give him a night in bed that will make his toes stay curled for a week!)

gtamomof2

As hard as it is to take, sometimes what someone is saying is true... It probably is him and not U! Give him time, and when he's ready he'll come back to you, if you haven't moved on already.

Stay true to yourself though and be there for him as much as you can. Just continue to offer to listen as much as he'll listen.

lorro

Personally, I think you are doing the right thing. Be the person he wants to be with when he is free of the ghosts of the past, not the re-bound relationship he uses as his prop to sort himself out and out-grows when he's healed. Be sympathetic, listen if he wants to talk, be patient. He's shown clear signs he is not ready for a relationship right now, please don't ignore them.

Tropical_Turtle

Guess I should be thankful he didnt just disappear on me, but in a way that would make things so much easier

j4nash

Just be supportive but not invasive. Let him know you are there but without nagging or reminding him. Only discuss it when HE wants to. He will come back around.

(And if that doesn't work...give him a night in bed that will make his toes stay curled for a week!)

seriously, do this.

as someone who is divorced some of us turn into major commitment phobes especially if we are on the end that got screwed over. in my mind if I commit to someone again it means I want to marry them. prior to marriage no big deal because it was never the forefront thought in my mind.

oddyogi

Just be supportive but not invasive. Let him know you are there but without nagging or reminding him. Only discuss it when HE wants to. He will come back around.

(And if that doesn't work...give him a night in bed that will make his toes stay curled for a week!)

exactly this! *hugs*

TheKitsune6

You're doing perfect. Let him figure his stuff out, when he wants to talk he'll talk.

La_Amazona

Just be supportive but not invasive. Let him know you are there but without nagging or reminding him. Only discuss it when HE wants to. He will come back around.

(And if that doesn't work...give him a night in bed that will make his toes stay curled for a week!)

seriously, do this.

as someone who is divorced some of us turn into major commitment phobes especially if we are on the end that got screwed over. in my mind if I commit to someone again it means I want to marry them. prior to marriage no big deal because it was never the forefront thought in my mind.

Yup. Exactly this.

I'm not sure if I'm going to marry my bf one day but I will say that I wouldn't be with him unless I didn't see him as a potential life partner. And if he ever does something that changes my mind, I'd break it off. Divorce changes a person. It's not necessarily a bad thing nor are we better than non divorced folks but it definately taught me a thing or 2.

I think the way you're being is perfect.

thecarbmonster

I would give him his space and not make him feel guilty for needing to concentrate on himself for a few days. At the end of the week suggest something fun to take his mind off of things. Be the happy, no stress distraction he needs!

mrmanmeat

One day at a time.

DavetheHYNIC

All the previous post are filled with good advice but do remember this: you have to cognisant of your own wants needs and desires out of life and a relationship. Give him his space let him do what he needs to do but don't put your life on hold for him. It doesn't sound like he was ready to be in a relationship AT ALL.

takingnameskickingbutt

All the previous post are filled with good advice but do remember this: you have to cognisant of your own wants needs and desires out of life and a relationship. Give him his space let him do what he needs to do but don't put your life on hold for him. It doesn't sound like he was ready to be in a relationship AT ALL.

THIS!

You are worthy of having someone give you their all!