"Preachy Vegans"

Elliemage

Hey folks- so I've been a vegetarian for close to three years now and just made the switch over to vegan. I'm really curious if anyone else has had problems with people crying all over about vegans being "preachy."


I'm really getting sort of frustrated, since it's happening with people that I had sort of thought would be more supportive. For the record, I try pretty hard to keep a lid on my opinions unless asked- but it seems that lately whenever I go out in a group or whatever and ask for vegan options/ request that the dairy be held from my dishes everyone feels the need to comment. I don't really mind, but when I explain (usually something along the lines of how it's a personal choice that I feel is right for me,) more explanation is always requested... if I reply at all, someone inevitably ends up remarking on how "pushy" vegans are. Considering that I wouldn't have said anything at all without some pretty persistent poking, it's really starting to get to me.


Will this just go away once people are used to it? I'm not trying to make everyone defensive, but I'm certainly not going to start eating cheese again just so they'll shut up either. :P

Grimmerick

Don't bother explaining most of the time it's a trap
bottom line you under no circumstances discuss your diet with anyone, if they ask tell them that. They can't really say vegans are preachy if you won't discuss it with them. As far as the preachy vegans go, there are just as many preachy meat eaters to match preachy vegans, no side is right and it's the few that gave bad names for all, I do know one thing though if you preach to a meat eater you will only make them have a bigger piece of steak. people are like cats about their diets it has to be their idea no anyone elses

MrsODriscoll

I am generally sick and tired of people feeling they have the right to comment on what I do and don't eat, when I have never commented on their food choices - even though they make me sick! I've pretty much lost patience with it all and try to just walk away or change the subject, but that doesn't always work. Sorry that doesn't really help you, just wanted you to know that you're not alone!

MontagneGitane

I agree that it can and does go both ways. I just try not to discuss it, but unfortunately, especially as a parent, it does come up. I just got told (by my MIL) that we are "depriving" our son by not "letting" him eat fast food cheeseburgers. :mad: He's one of the healthiest kids I know and never liked junk food even before our family adopted a plant-based diet.

Grimmerick

I agree that it can and does go both ways. I just try not to discuss it, but unfortunately, especially as a parent, it does come up. I just got told (by my MIL) that we are "depriving" our son by not "letting" him eat fast food cheeseburgers. :mad: He's one of the healthiest kids I know and never liked junk food even before our family adopted a plant-based diet.

depriving him of what exactly .....childhood obesity hahaha, I am kidding lol but I woulda told her where to stick her unwanted opinion..................but then again I've got a big mouth

Elliemage

I guess I have a big mouth too... just saying I don't want to discuss it never really occurred to me! I've got an outing tonight (another chance to be GOOD! Not another temptation to be bad... that's how I'm thinking of it.) and I'm about 99.74% positive that at least someone will make a crack at the lack of cheese on my sandwich.


FindingBliss... I can't imagine how you do it. My boyfriend is a pretty staunch carnivore and while I have a tiny little flame of hope that maybe he'll come around eventually, I am in no way holding out!! I imagine when kids enter the picture it'll end up as something of a compromise. Luckily, my not-quite-MIL has read "Eat to Live" and is super supportive- there's always a huge salad available if there's not much in the main course that I will eat and she's even stepped up to defend me when the boyfriend or his dad try to feed me non-vegan fare (you HAVE to try this soup! I'll just get you a bite without a chunk of ham in it. >_>)

I'm just trying to imagine that along with my awesome food choices strengthening my body, sticking to my guns is strengthening my resolve (+2 Willpower!)

carld256

I've been a vegetarian for 30 years and a vegan off and on. I've *never* met one of these preachy vegans that supposedly lurks behind every stalk of broccoli. I have, however, met plenty of preachy omnivores who seem to think they have a right to tell me what to eat.

Grimmerick

I guess I have a big mouth too... just saying I don't want to discuss it never really occurred to me! I've got an outing tonight (another chance to be GOOD! Not another temptation to be bad... that's how I'm thinking of it.) and I'm about 99.74% positive that at least someone will make a crack at the lack of cheese on my sandwich.


FindingBliss... I can't imagine how you do it. My boyfriend is a pretty staunch carnivore and while I have a tiny little flame of hope that maybe he'll come around eventually, I am in no way holding out!! I imagine when kids enter the picture it'll end up as something of a compromise. Luckily, my not-quite-MIL has read "Eat to Live" and is super supportive- there's always a huge salad available if there's not much in the main course that I will eat and she's even stepped up to defend me when the boyfriend or his dad try to feed me non-vegan fare (you HAVE to try this soup! I'll just get you a bite without a chunk of ham in it. >_>)

I'm just trying to imagine that along with my awesome food choices strengthening my body, sticking to my guns is strengthening my resolve (+2 Willpower!)

allergies work wonders too lots of people find out they are allergic to lots of stuff all the time. You just happen to be allergic to dairy, and you were already a veggie so they should be used to that by now.

stylistchik

I've been a vegetarian for 30 years and a vegan off and on. I've *never* met one of these preachy vegans that supposedly lurks behind every stalk of broccoli. I have, however, met plenty of preachy omnivores who seem to think they have a right to tell me what to eat.

agreed.

Grimmerick

I've been a vegetarian for 30 years and a vegan off and on. I've *never* met one of these preachy vegans that supposedly lurks behind every stalk of broccoli. I have, however, met plenty of preachy omnivores who seem to think they have a right to tell me what to eat.

agreed.

But that would be preaching to the choir. Vegans and vegetarians wouldn't preach to each other, or if they did it wouldn't be preaching it would be agreeing lol

SuperVegan8

I have met a preachy ex-vegan (now vegetarian) but he is one out of dozens that i know. I have however experienced every second meat-eater wanting to explain why i should eat meat. i dont entertain their arguments anymore i just point out that i respect their choices and they should respect mine, that usually shuts them up.

BJPCraig

Next time somebody feels the need to comment, just ask them why all omnivores have to be so freaking preachy about what they eat...

carld256

But that would be preaching to the choir. Vegans and vegetarians wouldn't preach to each other, or if they did it wouldn't be preaching it would be agreeing lol

True up to a point, but honestly if these people were so common (as I've been told), I would think I'd have witnessed it happening at least once.

This topic comes up a lot on various forums and there are always omnis who claim that *all* veg/vegan people are like this. A few years ago I decided to ask all my veg friends if they'd ever done anything like this, or knew anyone who had, nope. I then asked a bunch of people I knew online, including entire mailing lists full of people I trusted to give me a reasonably truthful answer. Out of everyone I asked I was able to come up with one person who knew someone who was kind of preachy about being veg.

I just don't think these supposed preachy vegans are anywhere near as common as non-veg people like to claim. I think they're purposely perpetuating a stereotype that has little to no basis in fact.

Grimmerick

I think it goes more like this................Omnivores and Vegans are preaching at each other. Each one saying the other one is preaching. Because they disagree and take offense they feel preached to, so instead of having a back and forth conversation they both end up more resolved to their style of eating and the other party was just preaching at them. I do see this A LOT. I have seen both sides guilty of this, whether it be more on one side than the other is purely objective and based solely on your own personal experience.

Elliemage

I think you totally hit the nail on the head. Diet is such a personal choice that I think omnis especially feel threatened just by being around veg*ns- I think (maybe not necessarily consciously) they feel that simply by eating the way that we do, we're sending a message that the way they eat is wrong... and we all know how defensive people can get about their food. When they ask questions and we actually have reasonable answers for things like "well... cavemen ate meat." they label it as "preaching"... and in return we clearly notice when everyone and their mom is suddenly concerned about the contents of our dinner.


I think for me the biggest surprise was that I never thought it would be those closest to me who would actually get aggressive about it, or complain that I was being obnoxious when, as a general rule, I try to keep my mouth shut unless specifically asked.

Grimmerick

I just found an example of the judgmental preachy vegan that seems so elusive lol, Check out this thread and tell me if you can spot them.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/602008-should-vegans-eat-honey

Make sure you read the whole thread, and if you think you've spotted them click on their profile and then you will know for sure.

Not saying I don't agree to a point but they come across way way to judgmental, the only thing accomplished with this attitude is causing a meat eater to go home and enjoy their thick juicy steak that much more out of spite.

You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar hahahahahaha I made a joke that has to do with the title of that thread.....................well I thought it was pretty clever

carld256

Well, you can find literally *anything* on the internet, people are just freaking weird. Mainly we're talking about real-life experiences. I've never met a "preachy vegan" face to face, and that includes years of working in Oberlin, Oh, which is relatively thick with vegans.

Grimmerick

Well, you can find literally *anything* on the internet, people are just freaking weird. Mainly we're talking about real-life experiences. I've never met a "preachy vegan" face to face, and that includes years of working in Oberlin, Oh, which is relatively thick with vegans.

I found this thread that was posted very recently on mfp from a vegan MFP member, I hardly consider that finding *anything* on the internet and again a vegan rich community in my mind wouldn't bring out preachy meat eaters. But I will say the only time I have witnessed preachy vegans they were usually debating with a counterpart whether one side started it or the other.

*On a side note I have enjoyed debating with you on this topic and I think you should see about the debatable debators group. You might enjoy it, and we would love to have more good points of view*

daffodilsoup

I just found an example of the judgmental preachy vegan that seems so elusive lol, Check out this thread and tell me if you can spot them.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/602008-should-vegans-eat-honey

Make sure you read the whole thread, and if you think you've spotted them click on their profile and then you will know for sure.

Not saying I don't agree to a point but they come across way way to judgmental, the only thing accomplished with this attitude is causing a meat eater to go home and enjoy their thick juicy steak that much more out of spite.

You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar hahahahahaha I made a joke that has to do with the title of that thread.....................well I thought it was pretty clever

Is it really fair to call those expressing their opinions in a topical thread "preachy"? The original post actually asks "How do you vegans out there feel about eating honey?"

It would be one thing if the topic was unrelated, or just something about honey, but it was a thread asking a question regarding opinion.

VeganInTraining

I feel you girl! When I first went vegetarian my husband’s first words were “you’re not gonna go vegan are you? Those people are weird.” After a few long talks I told him that I may ultimately end up vegan but that it was an ethical stance and about food choices, it’s not a religion (apparently he met a vegan family who talked about the animal spirits and basically worshiped nature and that’s what he was thinking about.) I know that when I went veg he felt he was losing his meat eating allay (especially since I do most of the cooking) because of this I have had a hard time going Vegan because I don’t want to worry about how it will make him feel.

More and more I am realizing how corrupt the animal product industry is and that I don’t want to be a part of it. Wow….I keep retyping each line because I realize I’m being “preachy” haha. I’d check out compassionatecook.com she has some awesome podcast about it. There’s also a video on youtube of her speaking at some conference about being unapologetic about our food choices. Why do those of us that chose to live compassionately need to apologize? If I pulled over to the side of the road to help someone who was hurt I would tell anyone who had a problem with my doing this to shove off, why do I need to apologize for helping an animal…Why is rescuing an abused dog compassionate but refusing to purchase abused animals and their excretions something we need to apologize about?

I will never get in anyone face about their choice to eat meat; it really is their choice. If people have a problem with “preachy” vegans oh well. It’s not my responsibility to decide how other people feel about actions. I make no apologies for my vegetarianism, impending veganism, sobriety, or faith in Christ. If anyone doesn’t like that it’s not my fault. Don’t make apologies for who you are.

VeganInTraining

Ellie, I realize that my little manifesto probably didn't really give you much encouragment beyond "be bold girl!" So I wanted to pop on again and say, I have found that with those I care about if they give me crap for it I say "I'm not asking you to change your diet, and I'm not asking you to like mine, but I do ask that you please respect it because this is important to me." For the most part that shuts them up. Good luck!