So torn

sapalee

I'm so torn between what I want to see in the mirror right now and what I know I need for the future. I know I have to gain mass to continue to increase my lean muscle mass, but at the same time it is a struggle to not want to lean back out, to really show those new muscles.

I was so loving how cut I was looking when I really dropped BF%. (even if the hubby didn't like it as much)

And I have two functions coming up in June that entail a bathing suit (10 year high school reunion and going away party). I know it's dumb and petty but I want to look gooood.

I know I'm being an idiot thinking of letting my short term pettiness get in the way of my long term goals. Especially the high school thing, I know it's wrong to just want to rub things in to old hates, I thought I had let all that go. Makes me not even want to go for the way it's making me think.

Patience, I need patience, to remember my long term goals. I have a lot of muscle still to gain in the coming year.

LovesGG

I'm going through it too. I get discouraged when I see my belly wants to be the size of Canada every time I eat something. When I flex and see no definition, just a giant lump. You can still kinda see the outline of my abs but it's slowly fading away. Yet summer is coming up (not that it matters really, it's summer 24/7 in Miami) but also I need to "look" like a personal trainer... not just say I am. I get tempted to go back down at least 5 pounds just so I can have my muscular-looking-ness back. I'm really curious as to what they look like now after these past few months of pushing.

Edit for typos

Meg_78

OMG this is EXACLY where I am right now too!

I KNOW I need to keep gaining, But the bulging belly at the end of each day from the absolute uber eating is so discouraging, it makes me want to drop down to maintain and bust my butt circuit training to get my abs back!

I am absolutely struggling right now, as I'm seeing less muscle grown and more bulk!

Just trying to hang in there. (with my fingernails! LOL)

sevenminaya

I would say, go and show off girl!! You have work super hard and now it is time to show off the amazing results. Having some fun in the process is a good thing actually. Getting nice feedback is a great source of motivation and will help you achieve your long term goals. Right now, enjoy yourself and your amazing body

Blaqheart

I'm new here but I agree.
I say the same go and enjoy your hard work. Besides no one should judge you that is sooo yesterday and high school is over. :noway: We're behind you cheering you on. :flowerforyou: We simply you

Just take a deep breath and relax you're doing fine so no worries or stress. GO have fun! :drinker: :laugh:

Namaste
~Blaq