Bad boy moves...
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christine24t
Posts: 6,064 Member
that women love (according to Yahoo).
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=12983&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=1332738
- DO take charge: “Dating is like a dance: If you don’t take the lead, she has to,” Dr. Glover says. “Most women don’t want to be in charge.” Asking her out is a big step, but it’s not enough. Dr. Glover suggests having a particular day and plan already picked out in advance: “Asking her to go out sometime leaves too many details to be determined. Instead, ask her to meet you for drinks on Tuesday.” That way, all she has to decide is whether or not she’s free that night.
- DO disagree with her: “Nothing irritates me more than someone who agrees with everything I say, even when I can tell he has another opinion,” says Theresa M. from Washington, D.C. “If I wanted to hear my thoughts on a subject, I would just talk to myself. I want a guy who will challenge me.” By avoiding conflict with your date, you may as well be wearing a big sign that says, I’m a pushover! If you don’t see eye-to-eye with her, say so.
- DO tease her a little: You won’t ever find a woman who doesn’t like a man who’s funny. So go ahead and let your sarcasm streak or dry sense of humor shine — just make sure to do it playfully. Sean, 35, from New York City, attests to the power of this move: “I used some playful teasing on my last date — I told her, ‘Your head isn’t nearly as large as it looks on your profile’ — and we were able to use all that built-in first-date tension to our advantage.” By carrying yourself this way, you’ll look confident — which, by the way, is a turn-on for everyone.
- DO talk about yourself: Don’t ramble on about your own life constantly, but mentioning things here and there is a good way to make sure your date doesn’t feel like she’s interrogating you. Instead, ask her where she was born; then, when she’s done answering you, drop a few relevant details about your life. “Everything was always about me with this one guy I dated. It was so annoying,” says Alina from Chicago. “There’s no way I’m that interesting! I kept waiting for him to tell me something.”
- DON'T plan elaborate dates: “The first two or three dates should be simple, casual coffee-type meetings. You should pay for them, but they should be cheap,” says Dr. Glover. Do the opposite, and you just look like you’re trying too hard, says Marissa from Johnson City, TN. “A guy bought concert tickets for a band I had mentioned in passing,” she explains. “He spent way too much money. It was shocking, and I felt like I owed him something afterward.” Clearly, these are not good feelings to build a relationship on.
- DON'T compliment your date too much: “An ex-boyfriend gave me compliments all the time,” says Rachel from Harrisonburg, VA. “It got to the point that I didn’t believe him anymore, and I figured he said those things to every woman he dated.” Seeming insincere is bad, but it can get even worse: “She’ll like it at first, but persistent flattery will start to spook her in some way,” says Dr. Glover. Forget the usual flood of flattery, then, and show her you care by the occasional compliment from the heart — and by being reliable.
- DON'T try to speed up the relationship: After a great date, you may feel compelled to ask her out again — right then and there — for the next night… and the weekend after, too. Go slowly — don’t overwhelm a woman with attention. Dr. Glover suggests you only see each other once a week (at most) at the start of a new relationship. If you seem too eager, you’ll look needy and available for most women. “After a second date, this guy wanted to spend all of his time with me,” says Caroline, 28, from Los Angeles. “I started to wonder if he had his own life, but I didn’t want to stick around to find out.” So to avoid that fate, pace yourself, enjoy the anticipation — and let things unfold slowly and steadily.
Women, do you agree? Men, do you follow these moves?
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=12983&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=1332738
- DO take charge: “Dating is like a dance: If you don’t take the lead, she has to,” Dr. Glover says. “Most women don’t want to be in charge.” Asking her out is a big step, but it’s not enough. Dr. Glover suggests having a particular day and plan already picked out in advance: “Asking her to go out sometime leaves too many details to be determined. Instead, ask her to meet you for drinks on Tuesday.” That way, all she has to decide is whether or not she’s free that night.
- DO disagree with her: “Nothing irritates me more than someone who agrees with everything I say, even when I can tell he has another opinion,” says Theresa M. from Washington, D.C. “If I wanted to hear my thoughts on a subject, I would just talk to myself. I want a guy who will challenge me.” By avoiding conflict with your date, you may as well be wearing a big sign that says, I’m a pushover! If you don’t see eye-to-eye with her, say so.
- DO tease her a little: You won’t ever find a woman who doesn’t like a man who’s funny. So go ahead and let your sarcasm streak or dry sense of humor shine — just make sure to do it playfully. Sean, 35, from New York City, attests to the power of this move: “I used some playful teasing on my last date — I told her, ‘Your head isn’t nearly as large as it looks on your profile’ — and we were able to use all that built-in first-date tension to our advantage.” By carrying yourself this way, you’ll look confident — which, by the way, is a turn-on for everyone.
- DO talk about yourself: Don’t ramble on about your own life constantly, but mentioning things here and there is a good way to make sure your date doesn’t feel like she’s interrogating you. Instead, ask her where she was born; then, when she’s done answering you, drop a few relevant details about your life. “Everything was always about me with this one guy I dated. It was so annoying,” says Alina from Chicago. “There’s no way I’m that interesting! I kept waiting for him to tell me something.”
- DON'T plan elaborate dates: “The first two or three dates should be simple, casual coffee-type meetings. You should pay for them, but they should be cheap,” says Dr. Glover. Do the opposite, and you just look like you’re trying too hard, says Marissa from Johnson City, TN. “A guy bought concert tickets for a band I had mentioned in passing,” she explains. “He spent way too much money. It was shocking, and I felt like I owed him something afterward.” Clearly, these are not good feelings to build a relationship on.
- DON'T compliment your date too much: “An ex-boyfriend gave me compliments all the time,” says Rachel from Harrisonburg, VA. “It got to the point that I didn’t believe him anymore, and I figured he said those things to every woman he dated.” Seeming insincere is bad, but it can get even worse: “She’ll like it at first, but persistent flattery will start to spook her in some way,” says Dr. Glover. Forget the usual flood of flattery, then, and show her you care by the occasional compliment from the heart — and by being reliable.
- DON'T try to speed up the relationship: After a great date, you may feel compelled to ask her out again — right then and there — for the next night… and the weekend after, too. Go slowly — don’t overwhelm a woman with attention. Dr. Glover suggests you only see each other once a week (at most) at the start of a new relationship. If you seem too eager, you’ll look needy and available for most women. “After a second date, this guy wanted to spend all of his time with me,” says Caroline, 28, from Los Angeles. “I started to wonder if he had his own life, but I didn’t want to stick around to find out.” So to avoid that fate, pace yourself, enjoy the anticipation — and let things unfold slowly and steadily.
Women, do you agree? Men, do you follow these moves?
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Replies
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DON`T think that anything relationship related,be it a friendship or a romance, situation is going to be enhanced by trying to follow a written set of rules from either gender.
We have seen both guys and gals on here post things that would be in agreement with some and disagreement with others of these with no pattern as to which ones are more likely combined.
In other words I may agree with 1,4,7 but someone else may 2,4,5 and so on.
I understand some basic generalities about things but everyone has to get to know and be willing to listen to the wants of a given partner and then decide if it is something they are comfortable with.0 -
I'm not sure why all of those are considered "bad boy" moves.
I agree that the man needs to take charge if he's the one who initiated the date. Ask her out and have a plan if she says yes. Don't ask her what she wants to do (although, if you're taking her out to eat, I do think it's okay to ask her if there's any particular kind of food she DOESN'T like). If you live in the same city, surely you can think of something you'd like to do with her. If you don't, well, there's this thing called Google. Do some research.
I think it's wise to express your genuine thoughts on whatever topics come up on the date. If that means you disagree on some things, so be it. But stop short of arguing with each other. If she tries to goad you into a less-than-civil debate, take the high road. Just choose not to see her again.
Teasing ... I don't agree with that one. Everyone is okay with being teased about the quirks they actually like about themselves. But when you get to things they're sensitive about, you're treading on thin ice. And on a first date, you don't really know which is which. So, in general, I think it's bad form to tease a person you're going out with for the first time.
Of course you should talk about yourself on the date. She wants to get to know you just as much as you want to get to know her. It's even okay to do the majority of the talking, but keep it around 60/40. Otherwise, she's going to walk away thinking you weren't interested in her because you wouldn't shut up about how awesome you are.
How elaborate a date to plan depends on your interest level and how well you know her. If you don't know her at all, stick with simple and casual. If you know her well enough to know what she would and wouldn't like and you really want to make a big impression, then I think it's fine to do something more elaborate. Many men don't make much of an effort at all anymore, so if you've found yourself a woman who likes to be swept off her feet, you can make yourself stand out by trying a little harder than you normally would.
There is no such thing as too many compliments when the compliments are genuine, personal, and polite. If you're doing it out of nervousness or sheer desire to get in her pants as quickly as possible, then you need to take a shot of something and tap the brakes. And for Pete's sake, tell her she's beautiful instead of hot.
I agree with "don't speed up the relationship" if it means "don't ask her to date you exclusively" at the end of the first date. But if you get the feeling from her that things went well and she wants to see you again, I see nothing wrong with asking for date #2 at the end of the evening. If you prefer to wait and call her the next day, that's cool. But if you like her and you want her to know it, claim your spot on her calendar when you have the chance. Playing it cool and making her wait may result in her thinking you aren't interested and writing you off.0 -
I push girls down at the playground! Works everytime
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Im pretty sure, I said most of that in "My dating tips" post
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Just because I like to stir the pot and don`t want a wall of text quoting JQs post nor is it in argument with her but how is a guy supposed to know whether a lady is in agreement with all of these or none of them?
I can see where doing exactly as a "rule" states can be perfect for lady A and be the deal breaker (which women have far more then men it seeems) for lady B.0 -
I can see where doing exactly as a "rule" states can be perfect for lady A and be the deal breaker (which women have far more then men it seeems) for lady B.
Yeah, definitely, it is hard. What works for one woman might not work for another. I think that is why you have to go slow in a relationship and read her cues to see how things go.
For example, I don't like hearing too many compliments about myself. Doesn't matter if they're sincere - after a while it just gets old, and makes me feel self-conscious. But JQ likes hearing them. So I think, to meet the middle ground, you can try one compliment and gauge her reaction - if she grins and says thanks, keep paying them. But if she blushes or whatever, maybe tone it down.0 -
Yeah, can't see the "bad boy" aspect here.
Agree with most of these rules, except the one about "DO talk about yourself". That's not really necessary to talk about yourself, but you should surely talk a bit.0 -
Ugh. Just what makes you happy! You'll find someone that fits you without having to force yourself to follow a set of rules.0
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So what's 'bad boy' about that lot? :huh:
And here we go with 'rules' again :ohwell:
Seems to me that some people spend their lives playing by the rules and not living for the moment :flowerforyou: But hey, I'm just a rebel :laugh:0 -
I think the word rule is more of a commercial stunt ("Follow these 10 simple rules, and have the woman of your dreams!!! TRY IT NOW!" * man looks at cover, adjusts glasses, looks at picture of hot babe on the cover and purchases the book*).Seems to me that some people spend their lives playing by the rules and not living for the moment :flowerforyou: But hey, I'm just a rebel :laugh:
When on these forums people say "Rules", I think it should be understood as "guidelines" more. Unless there is a PUA police I'm not aware of and they come and arrest you if you infringe the "Rules". :laugh:
PS: Stop being a rebel.0 -
I think the word rule is more of a commercial stunt ("Follow these 10 simple rules, and have the woman of your dreams!!! TRY IT NOW!" * man looks at cover, adjusts glasses, looks at picture of hot babe on the cover and purchases the book*).Seems to me that some people spend their lives playing by the rules and not living for the moment :flowerforyou: But hey, I'm just a rebel :laugh:
When on these forums people say "Rules", I think it should be understood as "guidelines" more. Unless there is a PUA police I'm not aware of and they come and arrest you if you infringe the "Rules". :laugh:
PS: Stop being a rebel.
:laugh: blame my father! 0 -
Just because I like to stir the pot and don`t want a wall of text quoting JQs post nor is it in argument with her but how is a guy supposed to know whether a lady is in agreement with all of these or none of them?
I can see where doing exactly as a "rule" states can be perfect for lady A and be the deal breaker (which women have far more then men it seeems) for lady B.
I'm just giving my opinions on each point, as the OP requested. Clearly, my opinions are not going to be the same as every other woman's.
I think you'll get a general consensus on a lot of those. Others will be a matter of opinion, like the teasing one. Some women might want to trade barbs with you all night. Others may think you're a jerk if you say something like "Your head looked much bigger in your profile picture."
I wouldn't establish "rules" for a relationship, but I don't think it's wrong to follow some general guidelines on a first date with someone you don't know. For example, you're not "supposed" to talk about exes on a first date, you shouldn't discuss politics or religion on a first date, etc. Some women may be okay with hearing the entire history of your love life the very first night you meet. Some may want to get into a rousing political debate with you 15 minutes into the date. But most women won't. Those are all important subjects with a high potential for disagreement, so they should be brought up at some point. But you don't really want to get combative with your date on your first night together. That's just common sense.0 -
Those sound perfect to me! lol. Is that the definition of a bad boy tho?0
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I do all these things, does that mean I'm considered a bad boy?
Teasing is great as long as you do it flirtatiously, I always tease my dates a little bit, I just make sure it's not something they may be sensitive about (I'd never mention the size of a woman's head or anything related to her appearance). I think it makes people more comfortable and lets them know that they can joke around with me too. My ex actually told me many times one of the things she liked about me was when I disagreed with her, teased her, and called her out on all the stupid crap she pulled because she didn't want to date a pushover. Also if she can't take a joke or a little witty banter then she's not my type anyway.
And I think there is definitely a such thing as too many compliments. I don't care how genuine they are but too many compliments will subconsciously lower someone's interest level. I like to wait until later in the date and say something like "Wow, you're really pretty" and then move on. And again, if she needs compliments all the time to make her feel special than she's not really my type.
I actually thing all of those are pretty good rules to follow for most women.0 -
I like them all except for 1 of them... I also don't like them being called "rules". Blah.
Do whatever the heck you want!!!
The last one I do have a problem with because if you like someone and want to ask them out again, do it. Don't overthink it. DO IT!0 -
that women love (according to Yahoo).
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=12983&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=1332738
- DO take charge: “Dating is like a dance: If you don’t take the lead, she has to,” Dr. Glover says. “Most women don’t want to be in charge.” Asking her out is a big step, but it’s not enough. Dr. Glover suggests having a particular day and plan already picked out in advance: “Asking her to go out sometime leaves too many details to be determined. Instead, ask her to meet you for drinks on Tuesday.” That way, all she has to decide is whether or not she’s free that night.
- DO disagree with her: “Nothing irritates me more than someone who agrees with everything I say, even when I can tell he has another opinion,” says Theresa M. from Washington, D.C. “If I wanted to hear my thoughts on a subject, I would just talk to myself. I want a guy who will challenge me.” By avoiding conflict with your date, you may as well be wearing a big sign that says, I’m a pushover! If you don’t see eye-to-eye with her, say so.
- DO tease her a little: You won’t ever find a woman who doesn’t like a man who’s funny. So go ahead and let your sarcasm streak or dry sense of humor shine — just make sure to do it playfully. Sean, 35, from New York City, attests to the power of this move: “I used some playful teasing on my last date — I told her, ‘Your head isn’t nearly as large as it looks on your profile’ — and we were able to use all that built-in first-date tension to our advantage.” By carrying yourself this way, you’ll look confident — which, by the way, is a turn-on for everyone.
- DO talk about yourself: Don’t ramble on about your own life constantly, but mentioning things here and there is a good way to make sure your date doesn’t feel like she’s interrogating you. Instead, ask her where she was born; then, when she’s done answering you, drop a few relevant details about your life. “Everything was always about me with this one guy I dated. It was so annoying,” says Alina from Chicago. “There’s no way I’m that interesting! I kept waiting for him to tell me something.”
- DON'T plan elaborate dates: “The first two or three dates should be simple, casual coffee-type meetings. You should pay for them, but they should be cheap,” says Dr. Glover. Do the opposite, and you just look like you’re trying too hard, says Marissa from Johnson City, TN. “A guy bought concert tickets for a band I had mentioned in passing,” she explains. “He spent way too much money. It was shocking, and I felt like I owed him something afterward.” Clearly, these are not good feelings to build a relationship on.
- DON'T compliment your date too much: “An ex-boyfriend gave me compliments all the time,” says Rachel from Harrisonburg, VA. “It got to the point that I didn’t believe him anymore, and I figured he said those things to every woman he dated.” Seeming insincere is bad, but it can get even worse: “She’ll like it at first, but persistent flattery will start to spook her in some way,” says Dr. Glover. Forget the usual flood of flattery, then, and show her you care by the occasional compliment from the heart — and by being reliable.
- DON'T try to speed up the relationship: After a great date, you may feel compelled to ask her out again — right then and there — for the next night… and the weekend after, too. Go slowly — don’t overwhelm a woman with attention. Dr. Glover suggests you only see each other once a week (at most) at the start of a new relationship. If you seem too eager, you’ll look needy and available for most women. “After a second date, this guy wanted to spend all of his time with me,” says Caroline, 28, from Los Angeles. “I started to wonder if he had his own life, but I didn’t want to stick around to find out.” So to avoid that fate, pace yourself, enjoy the anticipation — and let things unfold slowly and steadily.
Women, do you agree? Men, do you follow these moves?
Pretty sure I naturally do all of these... and yet here I sit in Single Peeps :yawn:0 -
- DO take charge: "Nice Guys" wont do this- they let you make all the decisions cause they dont want to risk picking the wrong thing.
- DO disagree with her: "Nice Guys" wont do this because they are so sure that having a different opinion than you will get the dumped, so they just mind-numbingly agree with everything you say instead of offering anything to the conversation.
- DO tease her a little: Its playful and fun but "Nice Guys" wont do it and call it being "respectful"
- DO talk about yourself: "Nice Guys" only want to hear about you and say nothing about themselves, reinforcing how unimportant and uninteresting they are compared to you. Bcause they forget that a great match is made up of two people who look up to each other. Not one putting another on a pdestal and themseles on the floor.
- DON'T plan elaborate dates: "Nice Guys" Go overboard with proving how romantic they are until you are suffocated by all the effort and cant even get to know the person
- DON'T compliment your date too much: Seriously "nice Guys" we'd rather have a conversation all night about things, not my hair or eyes or dress. Show m who you are via debate and conversation.
- DON'T try to speed up the relationship: Nice Guys" want you locked in and facebook status updated before you can change your mind.
in all of this, when I say "Nice Guy" I do not mean "Good Man"0 -
- DO take charge: "Nice Guys" wont do this- they let you make all the decisions cause they dont want to risk picking the wrong thing.
- DO disagree with her: "Nice Guys" wont do this because they are so sure that having a different opinion than you will get the dumped, so they just mind-numbingly agree with everything you say instead of offering anything to the conversation.
- DO tease her a little: Its playful and fun but "Nice Guys" wont do it and call it being "respectful"
- DO talk about yourself: "Nice Guys" only want to hear about you and say nothing about themselves, reinforcing how unimportant and uninteresting they are compared to you. Bcause they forget that a great match is made up of two people who look up to each other. Not one putting another on a pdestal and themseles on the floor.
- DON'T plan elaborate dates: "Nice Guys" Go overboard with proving how romantic they are until you are suffocated by all the effort and cant even get to know the person
- DON'T compliment your date too much: Seriously "nice Guys" we'd rather have a conversation all night about things, not my hair or eyes or dress. Show m who you are via debate and conversation.
- DON'T try to speed up the relationship: Nice Guys" want you locked in and facebook status updated before you can change your mind.
in all of this, when I say "Nice Guy" I do not mean "Good Man"
Ok. That makes sense now.
Plus, bad boys do other things. I was on a date, and I never have cash with me, always use an ATM card, but I decided to use cash this particular night. Everything went really well. We went to this place where it had underground parking. So, on the way out, there was no attendant, and it said debit card only. No cash. Well, I had drained my account. So, I asked her to get out and hold up the wooden arm thing, so I coud drive under it. Ha, ha. That's my bad boy story. :-)0 -
- DO disagree with her: “Nothing irritates me more than someone who agrees with everything I say, even when I can tell he has another opinion,” says Theresa M. from Washington, D.C. “If I wanted to hear my thoughts on a subject, I would just talk to myself. I want a guy who will challenge me.” By avoiding conflict with your date, you may as well be wearing a big sign that says, I’m a pushover! If you don’t see eye-to-eye with her, say so.
I agree with that. I don't want someone to like something just because I like it. That gets annoying after a while.- DO tease her a little: You won’t ever find a woman who doesn’t like a man who’s funny. So go ahead and let your sarcasm streak or dry sense of humor shine — just make sure to do it playfully."
Agree again. But that's just how I am, I am very sarcastic and teasing and playful...I can take it as much as I can dish it!0 -
I push girls down at the playground! Works everytime
I love this and when they run away screaming COOTIES!!! :blushing:
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