Child is staying with dad over the summer...

gdkerplunk

During the divorce process, I had to either choose to lose my children every summer because he voluntarily left to move halfway across the country.... or go in the hole to fight to have them not go for as long. I ended up not fighting because things are a struggle enough as it is. I don't want to add to my struggles.

Only one of my girls are going to be with him. I fought to keep the youngest this summer because she's so small.

This week is going to be tough. It's the first summer that my big baby (age 4) will be away from me for such a long time. I am in a complete emotional mess. I just don't feel like anyone can take care of my girls as good as I do. That was one thing that ended my marriage. I thought he was a lazy father.

Does anyone else send their kids away for the entire summer? How did you take your first summer without them?

I gained wait partially due to emotional eating. I'm afraid of this happening again.

My heart is just so torn. Please tell me it gets better. (

Doreen_Murray

Wow. First, so sorry that you're having to go through this because I think my heart would honestly break. Can you visit? My son is four years old too and I do not have the same situation as you because I have full custody, though he does see his dad on occasion he has told us both he does not like going to daddy's house. An entire summer seems like such a long time...how is the rest of the visitation schedule if you don't mind my asking? :flowerforyou:

ILoveBrownies2

It does. Same here girl. Both of mine ( 8 & 9) are going across the country for the summer. Granted, their dad didn't get everything right last summer, which was their first summer away, but he tried. Same with me, I don't get everything right either but I frikkin try! I trust that their dad loves them and has their best interest in mind when he takes care of them. I trust that he will at least provide the basics that they need like keeping them safe, showing them love, and that sort of thing. I would call regularly to make sure they were being fed well (yes, I did that) , that they were happy and weren't being mistreated. Heck yeah it's scary though, I hear ya on that! I will say they had a great time and are looking forward to going back in a few weeks!

Doreen_Murray

Great sign that your kids are looking forward to going to see their dad again after the last trip! Hopefully that makes the OP feel better!

rmaxlynn

It's rough! Mine is turning 10 this month so it's a bit easier now. The littler they are the more difficult it is, so my heart goes out to you. Honestly, all you can do is concentrate on taking care of yourself, and that means nurturing a good support system-a good community. If you get depression or anxiety, get treatment. Be kind to yourself. It's really the only way to survive it. ((hugs))

MelodyinGa

Hi! My 6 yo spends summers with her dad 1000 miles away. Sat was a whole week she was gone. I get sad and miss her something awful, but I know she needs to be with him and his family. Since I have her during the school year, I am beginning to enjoy the break I do get. This summer I am having weight loss surgery so right now, that is keeping my busy. {{{HUGS}}}

lesliev523

My boys went to be with their dad one summer. I am in Michigan and he lives outside of Vancouver. It was difficult, but I did try to have fun and enjoy my freedom.

Unfortunately he hasn't taken them since! (That was four years ago)

kellyboyer18

My son went to his dad's all summer last year (he was 5 years old)... It was so hard, because the longest he had ever been away from me was maybe 2 weeks (his dad lives 5 hours away). I was really worried about becoming depressed, but what I did was make a list of all the things I wanted to do that I couldn't do while being a single parent. I made sure to carry my list with me all summer and my goal was to check off as many of those activities as I could until my son came home. This helped me get my mind off the fact my little guy was gone. Another thing that was so helpful was having my friends around with me too. By the end of the summer I had completed most of my list (from reading a book to vacationing and hiking in Utah) and it gave me a sense of peace, independence, and an appreciation of knowing that my life doesn't have to stop due to being a single mom. I am not going to lie... It was difficult. I missed my son so much, but I made it through the summer. Unfortunately, his dad doesn't want him all summer this year... But, my son and I created a list of things for both of us to do for the summer and are checking things off one by one together!!

balancedhealth

I experience this every summer for 1 month. Started when he was 5 and now that he is 12, he calls me which makes it easier.

JanieJack

How are you doing?

I feel your pain. My ex has done things that scare me with our child (like spending the night (with our son) in a strangers house- someone he met that day), but I don't have enough "bad stuff" documentation to legally take away his visitation. He is about to spend a month with his dad- the first time ever that this has happened (usually dad cancels the summer month visit).

I know in my heart my son will be ok. But I will miss him terribly.

I hope you are staying busy enough that you won't have time to sit down pining away (and overeat). :flowerforyou: I've scheduled so many evenings out with friends this month it's not even funny!

BabyGrl726

this is scary seeing as this is where things are headed with my 3 year old. I dont want to let her go...but I do want he to have her Dad.

Thoughts? Advice? I welcome it...