a fresh start

pa_jorg

This post got me thinking because it's where I was just a few months ago: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/612222-no-desire-to-date

So, after you've taken the proper time to heal and work on yourself (I'm inserting a big thank you to MFP & Single Peeps here!) following a breakup, what are some of the things that surprised you about yourself and what you want next in life? Or surprised you about where you were previously?

I know I've been changing physically, mentally and emotionally for a while now, but something really clicked recently and I'm ready to take on a whole new life, but I don't know where to start. Curious how all of you added excitement and adventure back into this phase of your life?

Carl01

For me it is going to be selling the farm (have never lived anywhere else) and finally moving to a place I don`t hate.
Hopefully that will be soon.

La_Amazona

After seperating I felt a bit lost. I wasn't broken hearted, I wasn't crying for him to come back, etc. I had done all the moping and crying WHILE living with him for the last 3-4 years so by the time he was out, it was more of a "what do I do now?".

I would stay home a lot and drink wine. I would listen to music. I was working out at the time and that's about all I was doing to work on myself, besides therapy. Then little by little I started to get out of the "what do I do now?" phase and move into a proactive state. There I kept working out, started reaching out to friends, started to do things that I enjoy and it when that went well and I felt better... I reached out even more. I started calling family, friends, started dating, etc.

It was all a process. It was taking baby steps and once I overcame the fear of that step, I'd move on to the next step.

What surprised me the most, I think, is that I'm a very happy person again. To all those that I have met in the last year of my life (such as Smiley and several new friends) all agree that I'm over the top bubbly and get excited about the little things. I had lost that in my past relationship. I had become pretty bitter, withdrawn and maybe even ashamed for whatever reasons.
Also, I'm quite surprised at how much I have to offer. I say this all the time "I'm a catch" but I think I'm saying it more as a reassurance to myself. But now that I'm experiencing my 1st real relationship in a long time, I really do see that I'm a GREAT catch. I have a lot to offer a man. The hard part is finding a man that gives me as much of himself in return. I've always been a little hard to understand, hard to get even but since coming out of my divorce I've made it a point to never be that way again. I might over think and yeah.. sometimes I get myself flustered over nothing but I'm 33 now. No more games for me. I'm a sweetheart and I'm going to choose to make things simple for me from now on. If someone is stressing me out, it's not worth it (of course, I need to recognize when it's myself doing the stressing out or they're doing it). Point is, simple is good.

Find where your passion is. Last year, my passion was in the physical dept. I dared myself to things I'd never do before such as jump off a boat in the middle of the ocean or jump off a cliff. Those little things that made me feel strong and brave somehow oozed into my self esteem as a woman. Completing P90x was huge for me. Just the mere fact of being able to do 30 regular push ups made me see that if I really put myself out there, I can accomplish big things. The 1st time I ran for an hour straight at the lake downtown, I cried and did a Rocky type of victory dance in public.

Then I went through a creative type of passion where I got into my cake decorating skills and did awesome. I'm pretty confident in that area today as well.

The point is to take that first step with confidence and passion.

Silver180

Shhh, it's a secret: I'm going back to school in the fall! I'm young, I'm single, I can afford the time and money to pursue a career that will make me happy! So I took the leap and I'm registered for the fall! Degree #2, here I come!

flimflamfloz

For me it is going to be selling the farm (have never lived anywhere else) and finally moving to a place I don`t hate.
Hopefully that will be soon.

Very courageous of you!

As for me, I split with my girlfriend at the time, resigned from my old job, started a business, moved to the capital city, went out a lot (too much actually), worked on my ability to meet people and women, learnt how to play piano, started reading books again...
Pleasure, excitement, adventure, learning new stuff... I'm taking control and I love it. :happy:

pa_jorg

You all sound very courageous to me! Thanks for your honesty!

I've been taking baby steps for a while now, but I'm at the point where I think I need to jump off the cliff metaphorically. But onto what is the question...