Why?
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Starrynights1107
Posts: 70 Member
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to throw a pity party. I don't sit and think about this while eating an excess of fatty and or sugary foods (hell, I'm not even an emotional eater to begin with lol). I live my life and I live it without shame however, I'm curious as to why a lot of people hate us so much (Lesbians/Gays). Most of the people I know personally who hate us have some religious reason (how contradictory). But judging from their reactions you'd think we did something horrible TO them personally. Honestly, sometimes it makes me laugh. What is your personal theory about and/or reaction to these people when they show themselves?
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I'm currently going through this in the worst way I ever have in my life with my girlfriend's family hating me because they believe I "made her gay".... they loved me before they knew we had anything going on and now her mother can't even say my name, see me in the same room and is forcing my girlfriend to pick between me and the Bible/her faith-- that's another story in itself of how that is transpiring.
I personally just shrug their ignorance and intolerance off and know that in the future, the hate will cease to exist as much. I rely on those closest to me (whether they're LGBT+ or not). I explain my views to whoever will listen if they agree with me and tell them that I would not force my opinion down their throat just as I do not want theirs shoved down mine.
Stay strong. As cliche as it sounds, it gets better. :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm currently going through this in the worst way I ever have in my life with my girlfriend's family hating me because they believe I "made her gay".... they loved me before they knew we had anything going on and now her mother can't even say my name, see me in the same room and is forcing my girlfriend to pick between me and the Bible/her faith-- that's another story in itself of how that is transpiring.
I personally just shrug their ignorance and intolerance off and know that in the future, the hate will cease to exist as much. I rely on those closest to me (whether they're LGBT+ or not). I explain my views to whoever will listen if they agree with me and tell them that I would not force my opinion down their throat just as I do not want theirs shoved down mine.
Stay strong. As cliche as it sounds, it gets better. :flowerforyou:
Thank you
. I'm pretty level-headed and have dealt with it well since I came out (5 years ago). In reference to your situation, you must be her first known gf. Parents like to blame the partner in the first "out" relationship, sadly. My mother has more of a distaste for my first gf (she never met her) than she does for my current one whom I am attached to at the hip lol. It's so silly. My theory about parents who don't approve of a same-sex relationship is that above all else parents want the best for their children. That is a gift and a curse. It is a curse in terms of the religious aspect (they think that is best) BUT it's a gift in the sense that if a parent witnesses someone loving their child, making them genuinely happy, and sticking with them they usually automatically soften and develop a level of respect for the relationship. Even if if takes a while, even if things are never on particularly "good" terms, they back off a bit just from experience. 0 -
Yeah, there's a bunch to the story and I'm basically coming to the same conclusions that you have about the situation... it's just a big bunch of crazy. Keeps me motivated and in the gym to work off my frustration though lol gotta have a plus somewhere! :drinker:0
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Yeah, there's a bunch to the story and I'm basically coming to the same conclusions that you have about the situation... it's just a big bunch of crazy. Keeps me motivated and in the gym to work off my frustration though lol gotta have a plus somewhere! :drinker:
Lol right! Good luck 0 -
Hya peeps:) I am a straight female and I really can't understand the fuss either. I am yet to have children with my husband, but we've talked about it. We both just wouldn't give a damn whether our child was gay, straight or any other variation on lovely. I just don't want them to turn out to be an *kitten*. I wonder why people set themselves up for so much heartbreak by striving for this tiny narrow window of what is 'acceptable'.
I think that you can analyse the whys forever, but the reality is that alot of people just suck.0 -
Hya peeps:) I am a straight female and I really can't understand the fuss either. I am yet to have children with my husband, but we've talked about it. We both just wouldn't give a damn whether our child was gay, straight or any other variation on lovely. I just don't want them to turn out to be an *kitten*. I wonder why people set themselves up for so much heartbreak by striving for this tiny narrow window of what is 'acceptable'.
I think that you can analyse the whys forever, but the reality is that alot of people just suck.
Thanks for your response. I hear ya. I know no one will ever really know why, especially across the board. People are just plain silly for many reasons (including that they just suck). My gf and I hope to raise well adjusted children who don't suck and aren't of the *kitten* variety one day as well lol. 0 -
It's actually very simple: it's fear that leads to hate. Fear of the unknown. Fear of change. Fear of anything different.
There is also blind faith, which for most devoutly religious folks seems to determine what they can or cannot support/tolerate and strips them of their free-will and rationale.
Fear like this is an irrational emotion and it's not easy to present a balanced counter-argument when the shutters are down and locked! :ohwell:
I'm sorry that your partner has been faced with the family vs partner decision - it always bemuses me that so-called Christians would do something as cruel and psychologically abusive as that when their Lord Jesus preached the ethos that we should all love one another regardless or who we are, what we do or where we come from.0 -
I'm currently going through this in the worst way I ever have in my life with my girlfriend's family hating me because they believe I "made her gay".... they loved me before they knew we had anything going on and now her mother can't even say my name, see me in the same room and is forcing my girlfriend to pick between me and the Bible/her faith-- that's another story in itself of how that is transpiring.
I personally just shrug their ignorance and intolerance off and know that in the future, the hate will cease to exist as much. I rely on those closest to me (whether they're LGBT+ or not). I explain my views to whoever will listen if they agree with me and tell them that I would not force my opinion down their throat just as I do not want theirs shoved down mine.
Stay strong. As cliche as it sounds, it gets better. :flowerforyou:
I know exactly what you are going through, because this is what I have been dealing with but it is my family who does not accept my girlfriend because they think it's her "fault", it's ridiculous. No one in my family is really talking to me except when they need to complain about something but I have to be with who makes me happy. I can't always do what they want. Good luck!0 -
Yeah it'd really be something if we were as good at "recruiting" as some people seem to think! LOL.
My mom says she thinks mega crazy people who compare homosexuality to heroin addiction must think gay sex is the best ever. (My mom is neither gay nor a drug user, but she's pretty much right!)
I think a big part when you're talking about fairly normal people (maybe a little religious, but don't protest the AIDS quilt or anything) is lack of prior exposure to normal happy LGBTQ people so the assumption is that we will be neither normal or happy. It takes time for that to wear off, but I think most of the time, it is possible for it to wear off.0 -
In my personal experience, it's often that people are so absorbed in their religion that anything contradictory raises their defenses. Some people don't understand a way of thinking/living different than their own and they really don't want to try, because it goes against what the church tells them. Of course, I live in the south, so I know that's not the reason it happens everywhere. That's just the case here a vast majority of the time.0
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What is worst than others hating you, is having that hatred internalized. It is a dis-ease that I am ridding myself of daily. I do not want to be known by who I hate, but by who I love. And nothing can separate me from the love of God. Accepting myself and living authentically is a wonderful thing. And only love conquers hate. I'm not sure why people hate us so, but it's no longer a deterrent to my happiness!0
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I really don't understand either. Just last night my sister text me and told me that I was a selfish b**** that was hurting everyone around me especially my daughter. She told me she did not want to know anything about me ever again, she just wants to know about my daughter and that she was going to make me pay for what Im doing to her. I dont see me hurting my daughter. This really hurt me because it is coming from my sister but I wont be around her because I dont want this affecting me any more.0
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I really don't understand either. Just last night my sister text me and told me that I was a selfish b**** that was hurting everyone around me especially my daughter. She told me she did not want to know anything about me ever again, she just wants to know about my daughter and that she was going to make me pay for what Im doing to her. I dont see me hurting my daughter. This really hurt me because it is coming from my sister but I wont be around her because I dont want this affecting me any more.
My 35 year old daughter and my 6 grandkids would tell your sister to... do something I won't print here. Harm comes from hate, and damage comes from evil people. If that was my sister, she wouldn't be my sister anymore.0 -
Yes I agree and if that what she wants then we wont be part of her life0
