the nice guy
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christine24t
Posts: 6,063 Member
There is this guy I know from college. Tonight, this was his status on Facebook.
"I hear so many girls complaining nowadays about how they cannot find a good guy. Well, maybe if you stop dating the losers who treat other people like crap, maybe you will find a good guy. We are around. You just have to look away from your normal dating pool. Look for the intelligent, nice guys who are always there for you when you need them. Oh wait, you do know where they are! You just deemed them not good enough and placed them in the "Friends" zone! Funny how fate has a way of paying us good guys back by making you realize that you are unhappy without us there to help because we have grown tired of your games."
Don't even know where to start with this...but I think when people post stuff like this it shows that they think they aren't accountable for anything and that they are perfect that that nothing would be his fault if he had problems in a relationship. In trying to show he's a nice guy, he's actually showing everyone he's a jerk!
Don't you just wish you could tell people you know what they really need to do in order to land someone? That is why I appreciate the honesty here in single peeps! I think because we don't really know each other in real life, we give honest advice to each other. Just wanted to thank you all! It's not something I want to always hear, but it is good advice.
"I hear so many girls complaining nowadays about how they cannot find a good guy. Well, maybe if you stop dating the losers who treat other people like crap, maybe you will find a good guy. We are around. You just have to look away from your normal dating pool. Look for the intelligent, nice guys who are always there for you when you need them. Oh wait, you do know where they are! You just deemed them not good enough and placed them in the "Friends" zone! Funny how fate has a way of paying us good guys back by making you realize that you are unhappy without us there to help because we have grown tired of your games."
Don't even know where to start with this...but I think when people post stuff like this it shows that they think they aren't accountable for anything and that they are perfect that that nothing would be his fault if he had problems in a relationship. In trying to show he's a nice guy, he's actually showing everyone he's a jerk!
Don't you just wish you could tell people you know what they really need to do in order to land someone? That is why I appreciate the honesty here in single peeps! I think because we don't really know each other in real life, we give honest advice to each other. Just wanted to thank you all! It's not something I want to always hear, but it is good advice.
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Replies
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Nah, there is some truth in that. Friend zone is very real place for some guys that are prob boyfriend material.
You can tell them, it's just words, if they are real friends they won't mind you calling them out.0 -
i believe i have lived in the friend zone but i keep trying to break out of it0
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Good guys, you really need to get out of the corner of the room and be in the middle of it and not be shy. Nice dudes, seriously, stop giving roses, saying i love you, and asking for a relationship on the first date. Women dont like it. They like a confident, spontaneous, adventurous, secure, funny, cool guy who can make them feel like they can do anything and feel safe or protected. WOmen love a challenge, dont make it easy her to get you. They like what they cant have. Easy is boring to them. Guys, go find your balls and put them in the sack and stop being a wuss by always agreeing with them, buying them things, spoiling them.
Its supposed to be both of you trying to impress each other which is a common flaw nice guys have. They think they are the ones who are supposed to be doing the impressing so they get taken for granted, ignored, and used by many. If you want to be more than a steak dinner payer and want to touch some boobs then look at what your doing, if what your dooing isnt working, then change the way you think. The problem is bad boys dont care about women so women mistake their i dont give a crap about them attitude as a challenge and love the taboo feeling of dating someone who is dangerous and exciting. Many know know that there are many good guys out there but the only guys they like are the bad boys so they ignore the good guys, chase the bad boys, and b*tch about it.
Ive been on both sides. They def like an edge for sure than being overly respectful and sweet. There has to be a balance. WOmen, if you dont like getting used or hurt all the time them you need to quit chasing the same bad boy type too. Give the good guys a chance. Guys, if your in the frined zone, just walk away and stop kissing their *kitten* adn spoiling them, you wont get her. Most women, once they have their mind made up, its made up so when they see you as a puppy, you have no shot. There are many good guys who have some traits that you like. Give them a chance. Last thing, dudes, stop carrying purses, wearing pink, waxing your body hair, wearing women's clothes, and being so femine then women might want to touch your p*nis. Just saying.0 -
Last thing, dudes, stop carrying purses, wearing pink, waxing your body hair, wearing women's clothes, and being so femine then women might want to touch your p*nis. Just saying.
Amen to that... No skinny leg girl jeans here.0 -
Good guys, you really need to get out of the corner of the room and be in the middle of it and not be shy. Nice dudes, seriously, stop giving roses, saying i love you, and asking for a relationship on the first date. Women dont like it. They like a confident, spontaneous, adventurous, secure, funny, cool guy who can make them feel like they can do anything and feel safe or protected. WOmen love a challenge, dont make it easy her to get you. They like what they cant have. Easy is boring to them. Guys, go find your balls and put them in the sack and stop being a wuss by always agreeing with them, buying them things, spoiling them.
Its supposed to be both of you trying to impress each other which is a common flaw nice guys have. They think they are the ones who are supposed to be doing the impressing so they get taken for granted, ignored, and used by many. If you want to be more than a steak dinner payer and want to touch some boobs then look at what your doing, if what your dooing isnt working, then change the way you think. The problem is bad boys dont care about women so women mistake their i dont give a crap about them attitude as a challenge and love the taboo feeling of dating someone who is dangerous and exciting. Many know know that there are many good guys out there but the only guys they like are the bad boys so they ignore the good guys, chase the bad boys, and b*tch about it.
Ive been on both sides. They def like an edge for sure than being overly respectful and sweet. There has to be a balance. WOmen, if you dont like getting used or hurt all the time them you need to quit chasing the same bad boy type too. Give the good guys a chance. Guys, if your in the frined zone, just walk away and stop kissing their *kitten* adn spoiling them, you wont get her. Most women, once they have their mind made up, its made up so when they see you as a puppy, you have no shot. There are many good guys who have some traits that you like. Give them a chance. Last thing, dudes, stop carrying purses, wearing pink, waxing your body hair, wearing women's clothes, and being so femine then women might want to touch your p*nis. Just saying.
Haha I love this.
The guy I posted about just asked a girl out over Facebook. She turned him down once with an excuse about having to work the whole weekend, and then immediately after he said, "Well I have tickets for a game on Friday night, what about that?" It was so embarrassing to read. He doesn't give anyone time to miss him! So this is right on.
It's all about balance - you don't have to be a 100% good guy but don't be a jerk either.0 -
Facebook, really? He needs to learn to change or he will just keep romancing himself forever. He needs to learn, its either there or not, it cant be forced.0
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Well it is possible to be a nice guy but still be confident and secure. The problem is you think you're being nice and respectful by not making a move on somebody when really you're just a wuss. Women feel bad saying that to you so they call you nice. In reality, you can be a nice guy but still have balls.0
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Well it is possible to be a nice guy but still be confident and secure. The problem is you think you're being nice and respectful by not making a move on somebody when really you're just a wuss. Women feel bad saying that to you so they call you nice. In reality, you can be a nice guy but still have balls.
I would like to think I'm like that, I've got balls, will be forward, confident and flirty but I don't need to be an *kitten* at the same time. Says the guy who has t really been on a date this year lol0 -
There's a big difference between a Nice Guys (TM) and a genuinely nice guy. (gng for the rest of the subjec)
Nice Guys TM will spend hours telling you how nice they are, and if chicks will just give them a chance they'd see how SPECIAL they were and why do chicks always go for the bad guys? It's just not FAIR. Blah, blah, blah.
GNG don't need to tell you how nice they are. They just are. They don't need to go on an on and on about how they treat women right. They just do. They don't expect a medal for it.0 -
Last thing, dudes, stop carrying purses, wearing pink, waxing your body hair, wearing women's clothes, and being so femine then women might want to touch your p*nis. Just saying.
Amen to that... No skinny leg girl jeans here.
this made me laugh. I could never wear skinny leg jeans. My legs would never fit into them.0 -
In reality, you can be a nice guy but still have balls.
So true!0 -
Being a nice guy won't get you far w/ women, trust me. The older I get, the more I realize that women want someone with a little edge, dresses good, physically fit, and masculine (financial stability is a huge plus too). Ditch the nice guy routine ASAP.
This sums it up nicely.
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/lucia/12-reasons-women-can-t-stand-nice-guys0 -
Last thing, dudes, stop carrying purses, wearing pink, waxing your body hair, wearing women's clothes, and being so femine then women might want to touch your p*nis. Just saying.
Amen to that... No skinny leg girl jeans here.
this made me laugh. I could never wear skinny leg jeans. My legs would never fit into them.
Its so true, so many guys wear them and also those big socks on their head. I dont get it. Even my gay friends dont know who is straight or gay and say "wow, we are more manly than those guys" I agree.0 -
I think that if a truly nice guy would just toughen the edges up a bit, women would fall all over him. What girl doesn't want a guy that will really be good to her but still gets her worked up just enough.
I've done the nice guy thing. It left me thinking he might be gay after not kissing me at the end of the first date, haha. I want a guy with some guts to make a move!! There is nothing better than a guy with that glazed eye look like he can't control himself but being man enough to know when to let loose!
I've also done the whole bad boy thing... it was FUN until I realized that the great way he made me feel when we were together didn't make up for the other women he was secretly hooking up with. It isn't worth it.
I'm just wondering if there are many men in the middle who can be both. I'd chase him down myself if I thought he existed (and that's coming from a complete chicken who never makes a move, haha).0 -
Sorry had to post, just over heard some hipsters guys say they would never swim in a pool or an ocean because they are so dirty and icky. One said that he doesnt like it when his toes get wrinkly front he water too. I think this is the problem today. I bet chicks have alot fun in the sack with these guys.0
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I will probably catch flak for it but this is simply not a "guy" problem,it all stems from the fact that women say one thing but refuse to be honest with themselves about what it really is they want and from reading here and real life experience it is the feeling a guy gives to them and that alone.
Instead of using their heads most are driven almost completely by emotion so if the biggest *kitten* in the world makes them feel like Cinderella now and then or if every date is instead of a get to know each other and see if compatible thing a trip to an amusement park they will convince themselves what a great guy he is.
Guess what real life eventually does though?0 -
I will probably catch flak for it but this is simply not a "guy" problem,it all stems from the fact that women say one thing but refuse to be honest with themselves about what it really is they want and from reading here and real life experience it is the feeling a guy gives to them and that alone.
Instead of using their heads most are driven almost completely by emotion so if the biggest *kitten* in the world makes them feel like Cinderella now and then or if every date is instead of a get to know each other and see if compatible thing a trip to an amusement park they will convince themselves what a great guy he is.
Guess what real life eventually does though?
That is so spot on. So true.0 -
I will probably catch flak for it but this is simply not a "guy" problem,it all stems from the fact that women say one thing but refuse to be honest with themselves about what it really is they want and from reading here and real life experience it is the feeling a guy gives to them and that alone.
Instead of using their heads most are driven almost completely by emotion so if the biggest *kitten* in the world makes them feel like Cinderella now and then or if every date is instead of a get to know each other and see if compatible thing a trip to an amusement park they will convince themselves what a great guy he is.
Guess what real life eventually does though?
You are right Carl, but I don't think most women see it that way until they've learned those lessons. We definitely always do make decisions on emotion... that's true for most women all the time and part of what makes us different from men. Every guy I USED to notice had that bad boy look or attitude until I got burned badly. Similarly, I learned that the Southern gentlemen here in NC can be quite annoying trying to play the act of the nice guy... no thank you! It's no different than a discussion I read somewhere on MFP about creepy men... I can't say what makes them creepy, I just feel it, so it's not the same and not all women agree. Same thing for nice/ bad boys!0 -
Honestly? If you guys think this is only a problem for you.... Sheesh!
I am in a constant "friend zone" with guys. I am the quintessential "guy's best friend" -- I find it very difficult to make and maintain friendships with women, and men rarely see me as the type of woman they want to date. I'm honest, to the point, sometimes over the top offensive, usually funnier than them, very socially adaptable and confident in a crowd, and I am not interested in talking about shopping, pop culture, celebrity, make-up, accessories, rom-coms, etc. I couldn't entertain a conversation about Ryan Gosling if I tried.
I'm also almost *always* the one to initiate contact. I tend to go out independently quite a bit and I'm not too shy to strike up a conversation with an attractive man if I think he might have potential. Usually the conversation goes well, but it rarely ever moves out of the friend zone unless I am explicit with my intentions. So WHAT GIVES!??!
And for the record, I like a nice guy. I just don't want a push-over. I want to find somebody that can keep up.0 -
I'll take a nice guy (but very masculine and secure though) any day............ Period.
It takes compatiability as well though, no matter if the person is a "nice guy or girl". I went on a date with a "nice guy" and I am a "nice girl" but we both knew we just did not feel that connection and he beat me to it and "friend zoned" me first :laugh:
So, I rather be friend zoned than having a guy pretend that he likes me. It just shows that there is another 'nice guy' out there for me somewhere.0
