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Things that make you go hmmm....
pammbroo
Posts: 550 Member
I've always joked that every single girl should have a fireman in her contact list. I had a fireman for quite awhile actually. Great guy whose company I enjoyed thoroughly! We got along really well, had a blast when we were together, and best of all, he was always honest & upfront about where he stood. From the very beginning, he made it very clear that he was not looking for a relationship. He had been through a tough divorce and was looking for a FWB situation. I respected his honesty and was truly okay with that arrangement for quite a long time (couple years at least). Problem was, particularly in more recent months, we talked alot about doing more "friend things" outside of the "benefits" we enjoyed together, but they never happened. He would always cancel at the last minute...making up some excuse. It started to really bother me. I realized that I was starting to want more from him and that was something he couldn't/wouldn't give. So I ended it. It made me sad to do so, but wasn't about to try to force something that wasn't there. But at the same time, couldn't continue with the way things were. Our goodbye emails were very honest and heartfelt, but it was over.
That was almost 6 months ago. He kept in touch every once in while to say hi and see how I was. Keeping that foot in the door. lol Conversations were brief but friendly, and I was always happy to hear from him.
So last week he texts me and we end up texting for hours. Among the flirty and fun exchanges, he tells me he misses me, wants to see me and how much he enjoyed the times we spent together. Said he hasn't been with anyone since the last time we were together (I thought it was odd that he told me that). I joked with him that he just needed to face the fact that I had ruined him for all other women b/c I'm all that and a bag of chips. lol We reminisced (sp?) about the fun times we had and even talked about getting together in the future. However, I made it known that nothing had changed as far as where I stood. He basically said the same. But the whole tone of the conversation seemed very different than what its been since we parted ways.
I have to wonder if that was an attempt to see if I would give in and invite him over? Hate to think that all the sweet things he said were only a means to an end b/c he hasn't had any in 6 months (so he says). But maybe it was. Or could it be a move in my direction? Guess only time will tell.
I realize that this changes nothing, and I really have no expectations. But have to admit the whole thing kinda has me saying, "hmmm..."
That was almost 6 months ago. He kept in touch every once in while to say hi and see how I was. Keeping that foot in the door. lol Conversations were brief but friendly, and I was always happy to hear from him.
So last week he texts me and we end up texting for hours. Among the flirty and fun exchanges, he tells me he misses me, wants to see me and how much he enjoyed the times we spent together. Said he hasn't been with anyone since the last time we were together (I thought it was odd that he told me that). I joked with him that he just needed to face the fact that I had ruined him for all other women b/c I'm all that and a bag of chips. lol We reminisced (sp?) about the fun times we had and even talked about getting together in the future. However, I made it known that nothing had changed as far as where I stood. He basically said the same. But the whole tone of the conversation seemed very different than what its been since we parted ways.
I have to wonder if that was an attempt to see if I would give in and invite him over? Hate to think that all the sweet things he said were only a means to an end b/c he hasn't had any in 6 months (so he says). But maybe it was. Or could it be a move in my direction? Guess only time will tell.
I realize that this changes nothing, and I really have no expectations. But have to admit the whole thing kinda has me saying, "hmmm..."
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Replies
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I'm sorry - I stopped reading after fireman. My ex hubbie is one and I don't like them
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In short. He's prob horny.0
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In short. He's prob horny.
I agree. I have a friend like this. He can be incredibly charming, and then once we get together, we don't talk for months until he gets horny again. Not that I mind -- he's one of those guys that I can only take in small doses, and then just to get what I want out of him :laugh:0 -
In short. He's prob horny.
E X A C T L Y ! ! !0 -
In short. He's prob horny.
This. Fer Sure!0 -
I'm sorry - I stopped reading after fireman. My ex hubbie is one and I don't like them
Firemen in general or just your ex-hubby?
I've just started seeing one and I like him so far but am worried about a couple things..... "yellow" flags if you will. He's pretty caught up on the EMT/Firefighter thing though... which is good and bad...0 -
He is probably both horny and lonely,doesn`t make him a bad person,just human.
No matter,you have to pursue what YOU want and make that clear right from the beginning.
That means no FWB arrangement to see if he will move to a real relationship...he won`t.
Not saying use sex as a tool to get him there as that is no better but make it clear sleeping together is part of a relationship and not a get an itch scratched thing.0 -
I'm sorry - I stopped reading after fireman. My ex hubbie is one and I don't like them
Firemen in general or just your ex-hubby?
I've just started seeing one and I like him so far but am worried about a couple things..... "yellow" flags if you will. He's pretty caught up on the EMT/Firefighter thing though... which is good and bad...
Kind of all of them. I swear they must have trainings where they put them all together and tell them they are superior to the rest of the human world.0 -
So, do you want to renew your FWB or do you want a relationship??
Seems to me that he's testing the water to see if you will let him dip again! :flowerforyou:0 -
Every time I attempt to read this thread I break out into singing and dancing the title song.0
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I think his hose is on fire.0
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I think his hose is on fire.
He should probably see a doctor about that.0 -
I guess I'll be the downer on this...
Every time I've been in a FWB situation and the woman started having feelings, I made sure I never went back to them looking for sex. I just don't think it is fair to get with them when you know they want more than you do.0 -
This is why I don't do FWB. I'd stop talking to him because you'll just keep opening up that door and it'll never end. There's more firemen in the sea!
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Yeah, sounds like he was just lonely. That sucks, though.0
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Hmmm, maybe I'm losing a little of the jadedness here but is it possible that he just genuinely misses her and wants to spend time with her? I am sure that sex is in that equation but maybe you should give him a shot and see. I wouldn't sleep with him immediately but if he follows through on doing all those things he used to cancel on, then maybe there is something between ya'll.0
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I'm sorry - I stopped reading after fireman. My ex hubbie is one and I don't like them
Firemen in general or just your ex-hubby?
I've just started seeing one and I like him so far but am worried about a couple things..... "yellow" flags if you will. He's pretty caught up on the EMT/Firefighter thing though... which is good and bad...
Kind of all of them. I swear they must have trainings where they put them all together and tell them they are superior to the rest of the human world.
Hey now, my dad was a fireman/EMT.
I have noticed this in professions where they are risk takers, from firemen to police and military. I guess it is self-preservation.0 -
just want to say re: the fireman thing............the superiority complex--only refers to those firefighters that are paid......volunteer firefighters is a whole different specie
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In short. He's prob horny.
I agree. I have a friend like this. He can be incredibly charming, and then once we get together, we don't talk for months until he gets horny again. Not that I mind -- he's one of those guys that I can only take in small doses, and then just to get what I want out of him :laugh:
interesting0 -
Thanks guys for the input! I can't let things go back to the way they were b/c I wasn't feeling good about myself. I have no regrets and would really like it if we could take a step to the next level. But he doesn't feel the same way.
He and I have talked about how much we have in common, we share many of the same family values, we genuinely like each other and enjoy each other's company. We have discussed his "emotional walls" and he said that he really doesn't see them coming down anytime soon. That pretty much says it all. I heard what he said to me and I made the best decision for myself. Like I said, not going to try to force his hand. I'd like to spend time with someone who actually wants to spend time with me too.
If this latest exchange was just an attempt to hook up, it was an impressive try. He was saying plenty of the right things. I would hope that not all of it was BS. But who knows.....0 -
Imsorry, I stopped reading after fireman and now Im going to go take a cold shower. I def have one on my contact list. RAWR.0
