The girl of my dreams <3
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dbrightwell1270
Posts: 1,732 Member
I saw this profile on OKC. Thought I'd share it.
My self-summary
Since this is a dating site, I'm going to write all these "essays" from that perspective--with ALL the negative stuff. How's that for upfront?
I don't date a lot (or ever) because I have yet to meet a guy that lives up to my pretty much unattainable standards. (Which include, reasonably attractive, nice, has job, can spell, ALL your teeth).
While I am generally nice to people I have relationships with, at times I can be quite jealous, but at the same time extremely cold, and withdrawn. (ex-boyfriend completely killed affectionate side of my personality). It doesn't mean that I don't like you, it just means I'm terrified to be sweet and cuddly, cause I think you're gonna yell at me.
I have been abandoned by most important male figures in my life--this includes guys I have dated and boyfriends, and when I say abandoned I mean--things are fine and dandy one day, and literally next day they're gone. I am usually replaced by an uglier woman with more baggage. So, I figure there must be something repulsive about me, and I haven't figured out what it is yet.
What I’m doing with my life
I work as a barista, which is sucking the life outta me.
(Guess what? Skinny lattes aren't gonna make you skinny).
I'm also in school for graphic design, which is really what I'm focused on as of right now. I love art, and design.
I’m really good at
Drawing things. Listening to awesome bands that you prolly have never heard, but also listening to really ****ty pop music. (I'm listening Justin Bieber right now). Being sassy, and having a sharp tongue.
The first things people usually notice about me
Atypical answers to this are:
Eyes
Freckles
Cleavage
(In that order)
If you're gonna shoot me a message, (which I doubt is gonna happen, cause I have prolly scared you off by now). please think of something else to say, chances are I've heard it at least five times today.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like a lot of stuff. Chances are you don't care though, or you'll never ask me about it. You'll base everything off whatever picture I put up, and then claim that my profile has touched you in some deep, meaningful way, and that you want to get to know me better. When in reality you probably think I'm mentally fragile enough that you can be nice to me for a short period of time before I sleep with you.
The six things I could never do without
Life, Liberty & Brotherhood.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What the **** I'm going to do with my life.
On a typical Friday night I am
Nothing is very typical with me--ever. I'm one strange bird.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I enjoy creepin' on okcupid-(A LOT.)
My self-summary
Since this is a dating site, I'm going to write all these "essays" from that perspective--with ALL the negative stuff. How's that for upfront?
I don't date a lot (or ever) because I have yet to meet a guy that lives up to my pretty much unattainable standards. (Which include, reasonably attractive, nice, has job, can spell, ALL your teeth).
While I am generally nice to people I have relationships with, at times I can be quite jealous, but at the same time extremely cold, and withdrawn. (ex-boyfriend completely killed affectionate side of my personality). It doesn't mean that I don't like you, it just means I'm terrified to be sweet and cuddly, cause I think you're gonna yell at me.
I have been abandoned by most important male figures in my life--this includes guys I have dated and boyfriends, and when I say abandoned I mean--things are fine and dandy one day, and literally next day they're gone. I am usually replaced by an uglier woman with more baggage. So, I figure there must be something repulsive about me, and I haven't figured out what it is yet.
What I’m doing with my life
I work as a barista, which is sucking the life outta me.
(Guess what? Skinny lattes aren't gonna make you skinny).
I'm also in school for graphic design, which is really what I'm focused on as of right now. I love art, and design.
I’m really good at
Drawing things. Listening to awesome bands that you prolly have never heard, but also listening to really ****ty pop music. (I'm listening Justin Bieber right now). Being sassy, and having a sharp tongue.
The first things people usually notice about me
Atypical answers to this are:
Eyes
Freckles
Cleavage
(In that order)
If you're gonna shoot me a message, (which I doubt is gonna happen, cause I have prolly scared you off by now). please think of something else to say, chances are I've heard it at least five times today.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like a lot of stuff. Chances are you don't care though, or you'll never ask me about it. You'll base everything off whatever picture I put up, and then claim that my profile has touched you in some deep, meaningful way, and that you want to get to know me better. When in reality you probably think I'm mentally fragile enough that you can be nice to me for a short period of time before I sleep with you.
The six things I could never do without
Life, Liberty & Brotherhood.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What the **** I'm going to do with my life.
On a typical Friday night I am
Nothing is very typical with me--ever. I'm one strange bird.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I enjoy creepin' on okcupid-(A LOT.)
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Replies
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Love it!! :happy: Thanks for sharing :flowerforyou:0
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She's a keeper.0
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Wow, see this is the bitter single woman I don't want to become...we all have some of that crazy running through our brains but geez to put it out there for the world to see, haha!!!0
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Haha. I would have stopped at the first paragraph. I tend to avoid any profiles that focus on the negative aspects of everything. Like chicks who have a long list of "don't message me if..."
Now, if it was hilarious I would be ok with a "look how horrible I am" approach.
This one is not, though.0 -
I give her credit for her seamless blending of a Declaration of Independence quote with the French national motto.0
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I feel better about myself now. Thank you. Wow.0
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Haha. I would have stopped at the first paragraph. I tend to avoid any profiles that focus on the negative aspects of everything. Like chicks who have a long list of "don't message me if..."
Now, if it was hilarious I would be ok with a "look how horrible I am" approach.
This one is not, though.
After I read the first paragraph I was hooked. I thought it had to be a prank or that something funny would eventually be said.0 -
She sounds like she needs some bubbly!0
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If I were a guy I'd never date her because she used "prolly" in stead of "probably."
:laugh:0 -
Shows how we are all different,to me she sounds like a person in search of a reason to be in her mind offended by a guy.0
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If I were a guy I'd never date her because she used "prolly" in stead of "probably."
:laugh:
That made me, quite literally, cringe every time I read it.0 -
Maybe she just needs a good shag...0
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thanks for the laugh!
Is it horrible that I can totally understand where all of that came from?? And she was right! If her pic was hot enough, she problably has (I mean, "prolly has" lol) more guys beating down her door than she can manage. lol!0 -
Well, when I read her profile, I just hope for her she really really hot.Is it horrible that I can totally understand where all of that came from?? And she was right! If her pic was hot enough, she problably has (I mean, "prolly has" lol) more guys beating down her door than she can manage. lol!
At least, as you said, if she was hot she would get men beating down her door. Not for the right reasons, mind you (just because she's hot!), but I think it will help her healing herself.
Because then she would get used and abused by men a lot (as she has been obviously), but at least she would meet men and perhaps some day, after "drowning slowly and hitting the bottom of the swimming pool", she would find the energy to push herself back to the surface (and start looking for help and listen to other people's advice).
While it's OK to have requirements/standards, you can't expect from other people what you cannot offer them yourself.
And, while she wants "the catch", after reading her profile I'm still wondering why she would deserve him and why he would even stop for her.
She's an arrogant and pedantic b!tch.- I have yet to meet a guy that lives up to my pretty much unattainable standards. (Which include, reasonably attractive, nice, has job, can spell, ALL your teeth).
- Listening to awesome bands that you prolly have never heard,
She's broken and incapable of admitting her responsibilty.- I can be quite jealous, but at the same time extremely cold, and withdrawn. It doesn't mean that I don't like you,
- I'm terrified to be sweet and cuddly
- I have been abandoned by most important male figures in my life
- I am usually replaced by an uglier woman with more baggage.
- there must be something repulsive about me, and I haven't figured out what it is yet.
All of this is true because she scared every single man on the planet, and the only one still reading are the ones who are after sex at this stage.- If you're gonna shoot me a message, (which I doubt is gonna happen, cause I have prolly scared you off by now). please think of something else to say, chances are I've heard it at least five times today.
- I like a lot of stuff. Chances are you don't care though, or you'll never ask me about it.
- You'll base everything off whatever picture I put up, and then claim that my profile has touched you in some deep, meaningful way, and that you want to get to know me better. When in reality you probably think I'm mentally fragile enough that you can be nice to me for a short period of time before I sleep with you.
She is a f'in bore. She thinks she is special, but she isn't.- I work as a barista, which is sucking the life outta me.
- but also listening to really ****ty pop music. (I'm listening Justin Bieber right now). Being sassy, and having a sharp tongue.
- Nothing is very typical with me--ever. I'm one strange bird.
- I enjoy creepin' on okcupid-(A LOT.)
Ok now... Let's process this information in the "ULTRA MATCHMAKER 2000!".
* bzzippp *
* computes computes *
* fiizzzzz *
"Your ideal man is:
- ARROGANT
- BROKEN
- IRRESPONSIBLE
- SHALLOW
- BORING
Thank you very much! Have a nice daaoowwwWWW....."
*BOOM*0 -
Bahahaha!0
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I think I need more coffee -- I totally thought OP was serious and read the whole profile thinking "Wow, he is really strange!" Then I read everybody else's comments and understood. This is why I don't go to work an hour early as a general rule :laugh:
Flimflam -- I absolutely love your take on things! Even though I don't always agree, it's sure to be entertaining at the very least.0 -
Well, when I read her profile, I just hope for her she really really hot.Is it horrible that I can totally understand where all of that came from?? And she was right! If her pic was hot enough, she problably has (I mean, "prolly has" lol) more guys beating down her door than she can manage. lol!
At least, as you said, if she was hot she would get men beating down her door. Not for the right reasons, mind you (just because she's hot!), but I think it will help her healing herself.
Because then she would get used and abused by men a lot (as she has been obviously), but at least she would meet men and perhaps some day, after "drowning slowly and hitting the bottom of the swimming pool", she would find the energy to push herself back to the surface (and start looking for help and listen to other people's advice).
While it's OK to have requirements/standards, you can't expect from other people what you cannot offer them yourself.
And, while she wants "the catch", after reading her profile I'm still wondering why she would deserve him and why he would even stop for her.
She's an arrogant and pedantic b!tch.- I have yet to meet a guy that lives up to my pretty much unattainable standards. (Which include, reasonably attractive, nice, has job, can spell, ALL your teeth).
- Listening to awesome bands that you prolly have never heard,
She's broken and incapable of admitting her responsibilty.- I can be quite jealous, but at the same time extremely cold, and withdrawn. It doesn't mean that I don't like you,
- I'm terrified to be sweet and cuddly
- I have been abandoned by most important male figures in my life
- I am usually replaced by an uglier woman with more baggage.
- there must be something repulsive about me, and I haven't figured out what it is yet.
All of this is true because she scared every single man on the planet, and the only one still reading are the ones who are after sex at this stage.- If you're gonna shoot me a message, (which I doubt is gonna happen, cause I have prolly scared you off by now). please think of something else to say, chances are I've heard it at least five times today.
- I like a lot of stuff. Chances are you don't care though, or you'll never ask me about it.
- You'll base everything off whatever picture I put up, and then claim that my profile has touched you in some deep, meaningful way, and that you want to get to know me better. When in reality you probably think I'm mentally fragile enough that you can be nice to me for a short period of time before I sleep with you.
She is a f'in bore. She thinks she is special, but she isn't.- I work as a barista, which is sucking the life outta me.
- but also listening to really ****ty pop music. (I'm listening Justin Bieber right now). Being sassy, and having a sharp tongue.
- Nothing is very typical with me--ever. I'm one strange bird.
- I enjoy creepin' on okcupid-(A LOT.)
Ok now... Let's process this information in the "ULTRA MATCHMAKER 2000!".
* bzzippp *
* computes computes *
* fiizzzzz *
"Your ideal man is:
- ARROGANT
- BROKEN
- IRRESPONSIBLE
- SHALLOW
- BORING
Thank you very much! Have a nice daaoowwwWWW....."
*BOOM*
Ok so I quiet literally
you for this.. Shes really trying to work that sad but secretly hip chick thing isn't she 0 -
I don't understand why women go the self-pity route when trying to attract men. Do guys really find it attractive when a woman drones on about how messed up she is because all the previous men in her life mistreated and/or abandoned her? To me, all it says is "I keep picking losers because I'm a loser, too."0
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She def needs something but I'm not sure if bubbly is gonna be strong enough.She sounds like she needs some bubbly!0 -
Somewhere a guy with a "Captain Save a How" cape will come and "rescue" her.I don't understand why women go the self-pity route when trying to attract men. Do guys really find it attractive when a woman drones on about how messed up she is because all the previous men in her life mistreated and/or abandoned her? To me, all it says is "I keep picking losers because I'm a loser, too."0 -
Interesting... that's all I can say.0
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Somewhere a guy with a "Captain Save a How" cape will come and "rescue" her.I don't understand why women go the self-pity route when trying to attract men. Do guys really find it attractive when a woman drones on about how messed up she is because all the previous men in her life mistreated and/or abandoned her? To me, all it says is "I keep picking losers because I'm a loser, too."
True. I recently dated a guy who seemed almost addicted to being the rescuer. He was attracted to women who were emotional trainwrecks and needed a "stable" guy to depend on. The thing is, he wasn't stable. He was an emotional trainwreck himself because of the way he had been used by women. He was conditioned to think that he wasn't lovable and that all he was good for was being a shoulder to cry on. Needless to say, it didn't last long because I do not have a self-esteem problem, and I just wanted to tell him to grow a pair most of the time.0 -
Ok now... Let's process this information in the "ULTRA MATCHMAKER 2000!".
* bzzippp *
* computes computes *
* fiizzzzz *
"Your ideal man is:
- ARROGANT
- BROKEN
- IRRESPONSIBLE
- SHALLOW
- BORING
Thank you very much! Have a nice daaoowwwWWW....."
*BOOM*
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
It was worth reading her BS, just to hear the sound effects of the computer!! :laugh:0 -
Wait. There are guys out there that actually read the profile?0
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I give her credit for her seamless blending of a Declaration of Independence quote with the French national motto.
Ha! Ha!!!!! Now, THAT's funny!!!0 -
She should go to some sort of counseling first to work on her issues -- then write up a profile. Negativity, even if she's being up front and honest, won't attract many people, if any.0
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I don't undertand why women do this....will anyone find this attractive?0
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It's not just women who do this. I've seen plenty of guys write very similar profiles. It's definitely a major turn off.0
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It's not just women who do this. I've seen plenty of guys write very similar profiles. It's definitely a major turn off.
UGH! You're telling me
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Ok now... Let's process this information in the "ULTRA MATCHMAKER 2000!".
* bzzippp *
* computes computes *
* fiizzzzz *
"Your ideal man is:
- ARROGANT
- BROKEN
- IRRESPONSIBLE
- SHALLOW
- BORING
Thank you very much! Have a nice daaoowwwWWW....."
*BOOM*
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
It was worth reading her BS, just to hear the sound effects of the computer!! :laugh:
I think I've seen those kind of men. They are on a show called Jersey something or other.0
This discussion has been closed.