bpd

PerfectDisaster

I have recently been diagnosed with BPD which has made me feel a range of things... to deal with this ive been heavily restricting, b/p and using diet pills/slim gum.

my weight has not gone down, but my mood has.. does anyone have any advice about dealing with any of this, or info on bpd? i feel like it is all my fault.

harrietsmama

bipolar or borderline personality? I have both but can give better responses depending on which you are dealing with. It sounds as if in addition to one of those that you have an eating disorder which is very tough to treat. I have been in the hospital with many folks fighting that and it is CRITICALLY important to get help from a care provider who works with eating disorders. The more malnourished you are, the more difficult your mental health will be to manage, in addition to all the physical stuff. I've spent 3 years fat but not in the hospital and on the rollercoaster. I am happy. I'm ready to do the work and get to a healthy weight as much as I can with the psych meds, and maintain my mental health. It's a journey.

harrietsmama

ugh, I meant that to come out warmer, sorry. {{{hugs}}} Mental health ****, including eating disorders are never something to play the blame game with. Its not cuz you are weak or lazy or any of that stuff. It's like telling someone with epilepsy that they could quit having seizures if they just tried harder. both are brain disorders that need medical attention and treatment.

lorro

Diagnosis can be a desperate time. Well done for posting :flowerforyou:

I'm assuming you mean borderline, not bipolar. My advice is to find people who are living successfully with this condition, who have found a way or managing the self destructive urges. Your profile says it all, the you that is there, underneath the conditon, who feels lost, is waiting to be found. You need hope more than anything. Contact with people who have travelled the road you have yet to travel, who remember what it feels like to be where you are now, may build your hope and help you find the motivation to find the help you need to change your life. Here is an article about an amazing woman who made it through to the other side and now gives hope to people with BPD worldwide through her story and the treatment she pioneered:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/23/health/23lives.html?pagewanted=all

The self blame is a symptom of the depression. It's no more your fault than would be spots if you had the measles. The extreme diet punishments give vent to the feelings short term, but longer term they make your mood worse. There are other ways of containing/expressing these urges which are less self destructive, which don't feed into the vicious cycle of escalating low mood.

If you haven't yet looked into DBT groups, that may be a good place to start. Good luck :flowerforyou:

Btw I noticed your username, PD. A coincidence? Anyway, you are not a disaster. How about making a small change to begin with right here on mfp?

_Obsession_

I have BDP too. I have also suffered from disordered eating. I used to fast and not eat for days and then binge and purge. I was doing this for years ..... and ultimately gained weight or maintained. I still occasionally binge and purge but i have found that eating healthily and controlling my binges has helped a lot.

It Has also affected my mood and mental health a lot! I find i am happier eating healthily than i ever was fasting or b/P......... but it is still a struggle and i understand how you feel completely.

Feel free to add me i am very open about the issues i suffer from and am really motivated to get fit and healthy!

flying_inside

You are awesome for taking the steps to understand and for being open about it. I have PTSD & depression and have a dear friend with BPD. I always looked up to her raw-ness as well as her self-awareness. Best of luck to you and know you aren't alone.

growingsmaller3

I suffer from BPD, possibly BP, and Anorexia. So, if you would like any advice on how to use your eating habits to improve your mentality, please do feel free to ask me, or add me for support! ^.^ I actually have a bit of information from a DBT (dialectal behavioral therapy) program that I used to attend, which contains sections about using balanced eating, exercise and sleep habits to stabilize/improve one's moods. So if you ever need anything, holler!

I am happy that you finally received a diagnosis, because that means you can start working towards some sort of recovery.

growingsmaller3

After responding to this post last night, I realized that there was no group for BPD support on MFP! It's quite sad, seeing how such a large majority of people who deal with BPD also tend to deal with binge eating, or bulimia. So, I figured I would share. :x

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/10440-borderline-personality-disorder-support