Things that happen in the bedroom
oddyogi
Posts: 1,816 Member
That the movies don't show. Hollywood makes DTD look erotic, romantic, spellbinding, and loving all at the same time. But we all know that's not always, and almost never, the case. What are some of the things that happen in the bedroom that the movies rarely show? I saw this topic on a random forum when I was googling something last night, and I thought it would be a funny thing to discuss with my Peeps!
Some of the funnier ones I read were:
Wet patches on the bed
No clean up
"Ow! You're on my hair!"
"Go away, dog! Git! GET OFF THE DAMN BED, DOG!"
"Babe, I have to work in the morning.."
Gag reflex
Morning breath
Queefs
Sex during TOM LOL
and farting a lot after anal. :laugh: :laugh:
Anyone have anything to add? Mine is.. the other day after getting done.. well I sweat a lot, and I was covered in dog hair because in the heat of the moment we didn't pull off the comforter. I looked like a Yeti!
And cue the D'AAAAAAAWWWWWWWW's at my new profile pic of me and SL.
Some of the funnier ones I read were:
Wet patches on the bed
No clean up
"Ow! You're on my hair!"
"Go away, dog! Git! GET OFF THE DAMN BED, DOG!"
"Babe, I have to work in the morning.."
Gag reflex
Morning breath
Queefs
Sex during TOM LOL
and farting a lot after anal. :laugh: :laugh:
Anyone have anything to add? Mine is.. the other day after getting done.. well I sweat a lot, and I was covered in dog hair because in the heat of the moment we didn't pull off the comforter. I looked like a Yeti!
And cue the D'AAAAAAAWWWWWWWW's at my new profile pic of me and SL.
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Replies
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"hold On I gotta go pee first" :blushing:0
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"hold On I gotta go pee first" :blushing:
haha! Yes this has happened a lot.0 -
"Don't you think we need a towel?"0
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Oops, let me go get you a towel so you can wipe that off your ...face, chest, *kitten* etc etc etc0
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After my kids were born and I was nursing we always needed a towel..
I just seemed to "leak" a lot.. LOL Kind of disturbing, but hey, bring some cereal and have a meal. My ex was always covered in breast milk. LMAO!0 -
"hold On I gotta go pee first" :blushing:
AHAHAH! Love it!0 -
Oh yeah -- I LOVE the new profile pic... HE'S definitely HOT!0
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Ashley - I dont think I can comment on this very rude topic now you are my niece!!!! :laugh: :laugh:
Ok, so, fanny-fart in America is what?? Cos I know your fanny in America is your *kitten*, but your fanny here is your vajeejay!!
Not that I've ever done one!! :blushing:
And aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww @ you and SL!!!
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"hold On I gotta go pee first" :blushing:
AHAHAH! Love it!
Isn't this one just so annoying and inconvenient!! But yeah, happens a lot :grumble:0 -
After my kids were born and I was nursing we always needed a towel..
I just seemed to "leak" a lot.. LOL Kind of disturbing, but hey, bring some cereal and have a meal. My ex was always covered in breast milk. LMAO!
Isn't there a lactating fetish??. You'd get good money for those leakers!! :laugh: 0 -
Ashley - I dont think I can comment on this very rude topic now you are my niece!!!! :laugh: :laugh:
Ok, so, fanny-fart in America is what?? Cos I know your fanny in America is your *kitten*, but your fanny here is your vajeejay!!
Not that I've ever done one!! :blushing:
And aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww @ you and SL!!!
Aww come on! Wait your fanny in England is your pikachu and not your butt?!0 -
"hold On I gotta go pee first" :blushing:
AHAHAH! Love it!
Isn't this one just so annoying and inconvenient!! But yeah, happens a lot :grumble:
Every time...0 -
After my kids were born and I was nursing we always needed a towel..
I just seemed to "leak" a lot.. LOL Kind of disturbing, but hey, bring some cereal and have a meal. My ex was always covered in breast milk. LMAO!
THIS!!!
and the pee one, and the towel for other reasons.......
sigh....... i miss sex0 -
"oops..........sorry. I wasn't trying to put it in that hole. It just slipped."0
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sigh....... i miss sex
^^This!! I'd gladly have about any of these issues, haha.... OK, that may just be the hormones talking
These are hilarious! All I can add are adventures with role-playing gone wrong. My ex freaked once when I played up the intruder taking advantage of me act, and it seemed a little too real, haha!0 -
Oops, let me go get you a towel so you can wipe that off your ...face, chest, *kitten* etc etc etc
this may be TMI but I had a guy take his sock off of his foot for me to "clean up" with....ummmm dude can a girl get a towel :huh:0 -
Ashley - I dont think I can comment on this very rude topic now you are my niece!!!! :laugh: :laugh:
Ok, so, fanny-fart in America is what?? Cos I know your fanny in America is your *kitten*, but your fanny here is your vajeejay!!
Not that I've ever done one!! :blushing:
And aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww @ you and SL!!!
Aww come on! Wait your fanny in England is your pikachu and not your butt?!
yep!! Don't ask me how or why, but when I hear about sore fannies and big fannies and fanny exerices on here, I just giggle like a school girl :laugh:0 -
Oops, let me go get you a towel so you can wipe that off your ...face, chest, *kitten* etc etc etc
this may be TMI but I had a guy take his sock off of his foot for me to "clean up" with....ummmm dude can a girl get a towel :huh:
No f*****ng way!!! Wow, what a gentlemen!!! I hope you junk punched him!?!0 -
Oops, let me go get you a towel so you can wipe that off your ...face, chest, *kitten* etc etc etc
this may be TMI but I had a guy take his sock off of his foot for me to "clean up" with....ummmm dude can a girl get a towel :huh:
No f*****ng way!!! Wow, what a gentlemen!!! I hope you junk punched him!?!
Pixie....since there are quite a few things that seem to mean different things across the pond... junk punch is when a guy does something stupid and you punk him square in his baby maker! But the guy above deserves it I think.0 -
Oops, let me go get you a towel so you can wipe that off your ...face, chest, *kitten* etc etc etc
this may be TMI but I had a guy take his sock off of his foot for me to "clean up" with....ummmm dude can a girl get a towel :huh:
No f*****ng way!!! Wow, what a gentlemen!!! I hope you junk punched him!?!
Pixie....since there are quite a few things that seem to mean different things across the pond... junk punch is when a guy does something stupid and you punk him square in his baby maker! But the guy above deserves it I think.
I could see a clean sock, maybe.. if it was a sock fresh out of the laundry. But fresh off his foot? Gross! I would probably wipe everything off then throw it at his face.0 -
Oops, let me go get you a towel so you can wipe that off your ...face, chest, *kitten* etc etc etc
this may be TMI but I had a guy take his sock off of his foot for me to "clean up" with....ummmm dude can a girl get a towel :huh:
I had an ex who wouldn't DTD if I was wearing socks. This might explain it.0 -
"You know your going to pay to get my hair done again"0
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Oops, let me go get you a towel so you can wipe that off your ...face, chest, *kitten* etc etc etc
this may be TMI but I had a guy take his sock off of his foot for me to "clean up" with....ummmm dude can a girl get a towel :huh:
No f*****ng way!!! Wow, what a gentlemen!!! I hope you junk punched him!?!
Pixie....since there are quite a few things that seem to mean different things across the pond... junk punch is when a guy does something stupid and you punk him square in his baby maker! But the guy above deserves it I think.
Thank you Will :flowerforyou: I kinda like the 'junk' word, although I can't imagine it would sound good with an English accent. Junk and *kitten* and jerk sound so much better with an American accent :laugh:0 -
Ladies if you want your man to go down town you best quit that needing pee shiz haha0
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Leg cramps, or that weird pain in your hip after being on top for a while. (Haven't had these since I started working out! They used to be a common occurrence though...) :ohwell:
Hair creating the curtain around his head, but then it gets really hot and pokes him in the eye, or gets in your mouth... Always bring a hair tie!
When you want sex on a countertop, but none of your surfaces are the right height. :grumble:0 -
Oo oo! Picking out dog hair, pubes, or fuzzies out of your mouth during oral. LOL.
"Hang on a sec... Hair.."
Then it takes a couple of seconds to find it.0 -
Oo oo! Picking out dog hair, pubes, or fuzzies out of your mouth during oral. LOL.
"Hang on a sec... Hair.."
Then it takes a couple of seconds to find it.
All I can say is thank goodness manscaping has gone viral... Havent had that issue in a while
Ok I dont know if this has happened to anyone else but being very drunk (one or both of you) and falling alseep during oral or him falling asleep during oral :blushing: Both may or may not have happened to me....
For those ladies with curly hair. When he graps your hair and pulls and then his hand tangles and cant get out lol0 -
:laugh: So embarrassing. Especially for a ONS ("What a loser!" :mad: ).Ok I dont know if this has happened to anyone else but being very drunk (one or both of you) and falling alseep during oral or him falling asleep during oral0 -
:laugh: So embarrassing. Especially for a ONS ("What a loser!" :mad: ).Ok I dont know if this has happened to anyone else but being very drunk (one or both of you) and falling alseep during oral or him falling asleep during oral
Hahaha! Sometimes when you're drunk or tired, it's more relaxing than erotic...can't help it..0 -
:laugh: So embarrassing. Especially for a ONS ("What a loser!" :mad: ).Ok I dont know if this has happened to anyone else but being very drunk (one or both of you) and falling alseep during oral or him falling asleep during oral
Hahaha! Sometimes when you're drunk or tired, it's more relaxing than erotic...can't help it..
Pretty sure I did that the other night with SL! Hahaha, not oral, but I was getting him all riled up and then I fell asleep on top of him. He gave me *kitten* for it the next day lol, but I made it up to him. 0
