all or nothing thinking and how to get back on track?

arachniagirl

I have bipolar disorder and one of my big problems is "all or nothing thinking", so when I'm dieting I'm either doing well or I blow it entirely; there's just no middle ground. Last week I did really well and when I weighed in I was almost 2 lbs. heavier. I was crushed. I was so discouraged that I felt like there was no use trying to eat well and started binging on junk food. It's been three days now that I've been eating tons of crap and I don't feel good physically or mentally, but I just can't seem to stop. I can't find my motivation when doing it right hasn't brought me any results -it seems like for the past two years my medications have packed on the pounds no matter what I've eaten and I could just cry. How can I motivate myself? How to break this binging cycle and get back on track? Please help....

arachniagirl

I'm still really hoping for some help or encouragement, I've managed to stop binging and have done really well today but I've gained yet another pound since yesterday. The math just doesn't add up. Yes I've been eating junk food instead of healthy options and yes I've been over on my calories but not by that much, doesn't it take like 3500 calories to gain a pound? I'm no where near that number. Sigh, I am just so discouraged. :sad:

clydethecat

i have this same problem, and in the last two months i really went off track. like you i had the mentality that its either all good, or all bad. so i would get into a cycle of eating crap food saying, i'll do better tomorrow. then tomorrow i was still in the same cycle.

you have to forgive yourself. having bipolar disorder just makes every emotion magnified. you not only feel bad mentally but it can make you feel bad physically. the highs are too high, the lows are too low. when you forgive your bad, it makes way for doing good. and i mean forgive everything.

none of this is easy, eating better and exercising is hard work. i feel like i'm back on track now, after such a bad two months. one of the things i did to get back on track was make smaller goals. right now i'm working on getting down 5 lbs. thats it. i'm not thinking about the future, i'm not fantasizing about what i'll look like when i make my ultimate goal, i'm just working on those 5 lbs. i'm also taking this one day at a time. i'm the kind of person that plans out everything. and that tends to create a lot of stress. so for now, i'm working on today. tomorrow will come, and i'll deal with it then. but right now, i need to keep on track, and thats what works for me.

you are doing an awesome job. having our disorder means you have to work twice as hard and get half as much. you will see results. get away from the scale, it can be discouraging i weigh myself the last friday of the month. but i take my measurements once a week, and that will show you results.

you have a lot of stuff against you, and doing this is huge. you are doing great, remember that. say it to yourself, "i am doing great" " i am doing all that i can" "i'm doing it!" thats what matters. not how well you're doing it, but that you're doing it. it will start to click. good luck, and if you want, add me, i do my best to encourage all my friends.

noctilumina

I don't think I can really add anything helpful to clydethecat's lovely post. I'm new to MFP (and to this group, which I only discovered today) and I'm trying to figure out how to handle my meetings with THE DREADED SCALE . I've been feeling pretty motivated and encouraged by MFP and the food and exercise choices I've made over the past few weeks. I really do feel like I'm making changes that are positive and healthy and sustainable over the long run. When I get on the scale at the end of the week, however, my sense of well being completely evaporates. My goals suddenly seem completely out of reach, and (if I don't feel like giving up entirely) I find myself fantasizing about ways to speed up the process. That isn't what I set out to do! I don't WANT to "be on a diet", and I don't WANT spend every free moment exercising and obsessing over calories.

All this to say that I completely empathize with you when you say that you did really well last week only to feel crushed when the scale didn't reflect it. I would like to get to the point mentally where the satisfaction I get from doing really well for a week is NOT undermined by a split second of standing on a scale. If I knew how, I promise I'd tell you! In the meantime, please know that you aren't alone.

arachniagirl

Thank you SO much for the responses, it means a lot knowing I'm not alone in feeling this way.

Clyde, you make such good points. It is hard enough dealing with this disease and I know I'm having a tough time with my meds right now, primarily extreme fatigue and sugar cravings. I do need to go a little easier on myself. I will try to remind myself that I am doing well even if it's not as well as I would like. Every little bit counts, right?

I will try to set smaller goals...all I think about is how I have gained 25 pounds since starting my current med combo 2 years ago and I want to be back where I was tomorrow. I have no patience; I need to remember that it took 2 years to gain the weight and it's not realistic to expect it to come off within a couple months, no matter what I do. My doctor started me on Topamax last week to help control my appetite and I think it might be helping, I have felt less hungry the last couple of days.

On a positive note, I have done really well the last two days. I even have Cheetos in my house and haven't eaten them. Hopefully I can stay on track this time. I will try to update this thread to keep myself accountable.

Again, thanks for the responses, they really mean a lot.

arachniagirl

So I promised an update and I'm happy to report that things are going really well. I have lost 4 pounds since last Wednesday! 2 more pounds and I will be back to where I was when I started MFP. Now this is definitely not all fat weight, much of it is losing the Lithium puffiness and bloating that constantly plagues me, but that feels really good. My stomach is less protruded and I'm starting to see my ankles again. Yay! The best part is that my boyfriend noticed I looked slimmer without me saying anything at all, very cool!

I attribute most of the credit for this loss to the Topamax. It seems to be offsetting the swelling from the Lithium and killing the carb/sugar cravings from the Seroquel.. Plus I don't have that feeling like I'm starving all the time, when I do eat, I feel full after like a normal person. Also very cool.

Because things are going well I've been really motivated. Usually I take weekends off from exercising but decided to do my cardio yesterday. I have been under my caloric goal every day except one and even then I was just a little over, no giving up and binging like crazy.

I just hope the scale will continue to show results, because with just a little encouragement I know I can do this. Go me!

noctilumina

Well done! What a great week! I'm happy for you. I'm especially impressed that, given the "all or nothing thinking" you struggle with, you managed to take some of the ups and downs of this process in your stride and keep going strong. Kudos! :happy:

arachniagirl

Thanks! I'm pretty proud of me too. Of course it' easy to stay on track when things are going my way....hope I can keep it up.