when to post dating profile
msusol
Posts: 11
So when is it the time to post your profile on a dating website? I'm on the heavy end of my weight loss goals, so I'm feeling I don't want to post a profile before I'm ready. I read the profiles of women and they can be pretty demanding, lol. My weight doesn't define me, but let's be honest you have to first attract a woman's attention.
So how much "weight" does a woman put on the photos in a dating profile? Or do they really read the writing on the wall?
So how much "weight" does a woman put on the photos in a dating profile? Or do they really read the writing on the wall?
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As long as the photos are accurate, I say do it as soon as you are mentally and emotionally ready to start dating. If your weight and appearance are a problem for YOU, then hold off on it.
If it makes you feel better, mention in your profile that you're making lifestyle changes to lose weight, put up pictures of yourself being active, talk about how you'd like to meet someone who is also interested in fitness and healthy living. A good person will be attracted to those qualities and will respect you for making the effort to improve yourself and your life.0 -
If I find a guy attractive then I dont pay much attention to his weight (within reason!). I think I judge this first by a picture - eyes, smile, overall look - but the more important aspect are his words on the profile.
I'm far more easily turned off by what someone says! :huh:
I think if I'm going to find you attractive, it would be regardless of if you're heavy or slim. But then I'm not exactly modelesque myself so dont really judge anyone by their weight........well, unless it's restrictive in terms of doing stuff!! :flowerforyou:0 -
As long as the photos are accurate, I say do it as soon as you are mentally and emotionally ready to start dating. If your weight and appearance are a problem for YOU, then hold off on it.
If it makes you feel better, mention in your profile that you're making lifestyle changes to lose weight, put up pictures of yourself being active, talk about how you'd like to meet someone who is also interested in fitness and healthy living. A good person will be attracted to those qualities and will respect you for making the effort to improve yourself and your life.
This is exactly when I decided to post mine about 2 weeks ago. I'm good with where I'm at so it's OK if not every guy on the site is. I'm not going to say it's been easy, but the learning experience of putting myself out there has been worth it. You need confidence to go out there, or you'll feel torn down if things don't go the way you want.
Let's face it, online dating is like shopping as everyone here will tell you. Most people are looking for the BEST they think they can get! That will be you for some women just like there is someone out there you will feel the same about! Go for it... when YOU feel good!0 -
See, I'm pretty much the opposite. Not that I judge anyone by their weight, but I go more by pictures and less by words because everyone says pretty much the same thing.If I find a guy attractive then I dont pay much attention to his weight (within reason!). I think I judge this first by a picture - eyes, smile, overall look - but the more important aspect are his words on the profile.
I'm far more easily turned off by what someone says! :huh:
I think if I'm going to find you attractive, it would be regardless of if you're heavy or slim. But then I'm not exactly modelesque myself so dont really judge anyone by their weight........well, unless it's restrictive in terms of doing stuff!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Originally I had a 'goal weight' in mind when I was going to start an online profile. Seemed reasonable for a while, but then one day, still not quite near the goal, I just spontaneously created the profile. Since I was mentally ready for the dating scene (although there is still a lot to learn) and had accurate photos shown, it ended up being a good decision just to go for it. I'll never get as many messages as someone who is a gorgeous size 2, but just putting myself out there really boosted my self-confidence because I got more responses than I expected, which helped my fitness motivation.
Two things to remember:
1. Single Peeps has confirmed that we all attract weirdos, so that is not specific to any one person, regardless of size, etc.
2. You can always continue to update your photos as your body changes. In fact there have been several times where I'll see a new picture of a guy and click to find it is someone I've already seen. But that's a good thing, it keeps continued interest.
Good luck & keep us posted!0 -
Up to date photos are important. It gives a better idea of who the person is. Example, I had one guy he had a very nice pic of a thinner him. When I went to meet him, he looked nothing like his pic. That was a huge turn off for me because to me it was a lie, and I do not tolerate liars. I do not ask for perfection, just be honest.
The pic initially attracts me because I love to look at the eyes, smile. But what will really pull me in is the profile itself. If I feel there is a commonality with what is said, I will proceed.
I set up my profile prior to my goal because I know I am no where near my goal yet, and if someone cant accept me right now as I strive to be a better me, then they do not deserve me.0 -
Keep your pictures current. Believe in yourself. Post it0
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See, I'm pretty much the opposite. Not that I judge anyone by their weight, but I go more by pictures and less by words because everyone says pretty much the same thing.
Yeah, but roadie, you're trying to meet a woman (I'm assuming
), so you're shopping for women like men do. This is a guy asking this question. I think women shop differently online. I look at the pic and just like Anna, if he looks decent enough,I'll read his profile. That's what makes me email, wink, etc....a bad pic as your main one COULD turn a woman away, but that's about all the pics do for me too! 0 -
See, I'm pretty much the opposite. Not that I judge anyone by their weight, but I go more by pictures and less by words because everyone says pretty much the same thing.If I find a guy attractive then I dont pay much attention to his weight (within reason!). I think I judge this first by a picture - eyes, smile, overall look - but the more important aspect are his words on the profile.
I'm far more easily turned off by what someone says! :huh:
I think if I'm going to find you attractive, it would be regardless of if you're heavy or slim. But then I'm not exactly modelesque myself so dont really judge anyone by their weight........well, unless it's restrictive in terms of doing stuff!! :flowerforyou:
I dont know what women say. But men dont say the same thing. There is usually an indication of the type of man he is even by how many words he writes.
Like if a guy says "I dont know what to say" I would click away as I love chatty men!
If a guy says "I dont like big girls" I click away too, as I dont like superficial people!
If a guy says "I love Indie rock, can't get enough of short, cute women and enjoy holidays and market hoppin on a sunday! he's mine!!
:laugh: Well, kinda.......0 -
If a guy says "I love Indie rock, can't get enough of short, cute women and enjoy holidays and market hoppin on a sunday! he's mine!!
:laugh: Well, kinda.......
It's like he made a profile for YOU
How could he not be yours, hehe! 0 -
Okay, for the sake of this thread I went through a few of my matches for today. Most of them have one giant paragraph of rambling nonsense. Most of them said they love their family and friends, a couple of them said they like to go out or stay in, most of them said how they love to laugh, they want to be swept off their feet, or they claim to be laid back or down to earth. One of them actually sounded interesting, but she had about 8 long paragraphs of quirkiness that I didn't bother reading. She might actually have been a little too interesting for me.I dont know what women say. But men dont say the same thing. There is usually an indication of the type of man he is even by how many words he writes.
Like if a guy says "I dont know what to say" I would click away as I love chatty men!
If a guy says "I dont like big girls" I click away too, as I dont like superficial people!
If a guy says "I love Indie rock, can't get enough of short, cute women and enjoy holidays and market hoppin on a sunday! he's mine!!
:laugh: Well, kinda.......
Bottom line, if they're cute enough they can get away with one sentence and I'll email them to see if they can actually carry a conversation. I've found that most people are actually more interesting in person than they come across on their profile. So as long as they don't write something that turns me off or makes me think we are not compatible I'll probably email them.
I think people do that for a reason though. They're scared to put anything that makes them unique because they think it will turn some people away. I know mine isn't much better.0 -
Just be honest, put current photos, doing a variety of things, and make sure there is atleast one close up with you smiling..OMG I could kick men who don't smile in their pictures. Say that you are a work in progress and working on your lifestyle to be healthier and put yourself out there.
I've been online dating forever lol...but I'm not put off by a man's weight so much as an inactive lifestyle.0 -
Bottom line, if they're cute enough they can get away with one sentence and I'll email them to see if they can actually carry a conversation.....
They're scared to put anything that makes them unique because they think it will turn some people away. I know mine isn't much better.
One of the things you shared with me when I asked for your help as an online dating guru (my words, not yours) is that you actually dumbed your profile DOWN, added a few more pics, and suddenly saw a lot more traffic. You said it yourself that less seems to be more. I will admit that a lot of detail starts excluding people... so less can be more.. but to your earlier point, being attractive lets you get away with a lot. So we can all agree to be honest, but I think each person posting has to be honest with themselves on whether they are "socially attractive" enough to get attention without effort, haha...0 -
Just be honest, put current photos, doing a variety of things, and make sure there is atleast one close up with you smiling..OMG I could kick men who don't smile in their pictures. Say that you are a work in progress and working on your lifestyle to be healthier and put yourself out there.
I've been online dating forever lol...but I'm not put off by a man's weight so much as an inactive lifestyle.
I am having a hard time with this very issue, I thought I was ready and updated my profile and pics to fit what you described above.
Funny thing is I don't seem to get any responses to my emails, even though I can see they visit my profile. I decided this weekend not to really worry about the online thing for a couple of months and just continue trying to use my personality & confidence in meeting people in person.
Maybe I should post a "review my profile" post tonight?0 -
Just be honest, put current photos, doing a variety of things, and make sure there is atleast one close up with you smiling..OMG I could kick men who don't smile in their pictures. Say that you are a work in progress and working on your lifestyle to be healthier and put yourself out there.
I've been online dating forever lol...but I'm not put off by a man's weight so much as an inactive lifestyle.
I am having a hard time with this very issue, I thought I was ready and updated my profile and pics to fit what you described above.
Funny thing is I don't seem to get any responses to my emails, even though I can see they visit my profile. I decided this weekend not to really worry about the online thing for a couple of months and just continue trying to use my personality & confidence in meeting people in person.
Maybe I should post a "review my profile" post tonight?
When I get obsessive about online dating and why aren't I getting any responses and when I'm online all the time...I know for me it means I need to take a BREAK..when it becomes too important..its not good I need to get a life..meet new people and have fun..with or with out a date:). When I'm ready again I'll go back..like right now I went on eharmony for the first time and we'll see but I give myself a time limit..and I only check my home page once a day unless I get email... Just let online dating be one of the many ways you can connect with new people.0 -
Just be honest, put current photos, doing a variety of things, and make sure there is atleast one close up with you smiling.
This. Some women (like me) don't want skin-and-bones men anyway, or even thin but toned men. If you post pics of you being active, then women will know you are not just saying fitness is important but living it.
Now, of course, this also depends on what kind of girl you are trying to attract. It amazes me how many stout guys are looking for the tiny barbie doll perfect 10 college girl. I chuckle when we meet in person and they're disappointed because all of my pictures are recent so they should have known I'm broader than average. If that is the case, then yeah, you probably want to wait until you're in better shape.0 -
It's terrible, but I'd date you for your horse. I miss riding.
Okay, now that I've been my usual smart alec self, time to be useful.
You could put full body accurate pics of yourself up on the dating site and see what happens, of course, but if you're not comfortable with your current weight and more important if you believe it will hinder you in dating the person you want to date, maybe you should wait, because after all, in a way, your debut on a dating site is a first impression.
On the other hand, new people are joining those sites quite often, so you can update with 'skinny' pics when you're where you want to be and still be making a first impression on those who haven't seen your profile yet.0 -
Oh yeah, totally. I actually don't get that many emails these days but I do get responses, which is all that really matters to me anyway. I used to have a bunch of crap about what I was looking for and what I didn't want, and while I thought I was being my usual funny and sarcastic self I don't think it translated well to an online dating profile. One person actually told me it was a bit much and might have turned people away.Bottom line, if they're cute enough they can get away with one sentence and I'll email them to see if they can actually carry a conversation.....
They're scared to put anything that makes them unique because they think it will turn some people away. I know mine isn't much better.
One of the things you shared with me when I asked for your help as an online dating guru (my words, not yours) is that you actually dumbed your profile DOWN, added a few more pics, and suddenly saw a lot more traffic. You said it yourself that less seems to be more. I will admit that a lot of detail starts excluding people... so less can be more.. but to your earlier point, being attractive lets you get away with a lot. So we can all agree to be honest, but I think each person posting has to be honest with themselves on whether they are "socially attractive" enough to get attention without effort, haha...0
