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Needing Courage to Put an End to "Just Dating"
kimi131
Posts: 1,058 Member
David and I have been dating (ahem, and dating 
) since March. He's not ready for a relationship and considers us just casually dating. We've had more than one conversation about this. But, I always have a good time with him and I enjoy talking to him. And I guess I'm just kind of used to him. Plus, he's pretty good lookin' 
.
I didn't really want to date other people because I'm not the type who can date multiple people, unless they are just first or second dates. It slowly became obvious that I needed to though, so I put online profiles back up, joined OKC, etc.
Enter Phillip. Phillip makes me laugh and smile. He is super sweet, romantic, kind. We talk all day on Instant Messenger and sometimes it still doesn't feel like enough. Our dates feel more like we've been together for months. It is not a relationship yet, but it is definitely relationship-bound, and based upon the pace things are going, I would say that it is relationship-bound very soon.
It is time to cut David out of the picture for several reasons including the fact that (like previously stated) I don't do well at dating multiple guys and I feel like I'm cheating on Phillip (even though it's not a relationship yet, it often feels that way). I am sure, at the very least, a phone call is in order here, but I don't have the guts to do it. I just got off the phone with him (he called me) and I had the perfect opening, but because his son was in the car with him and because I lack courage, I didn't. He wants to see me tomorrow evening. Phillip and I already have plans for tomorrow afternoon (which, could foreseeably turn into tomorrow evening).
Help! Can I do this via text? David and I do discuss serious matters often via text since he so often has his son with him. Should I just plan on seeing him tomorrow and tell him in person? I really want to do it via text, but that seems so crappy. Then again, it is he who wanted to keep our status "just casually dating" for months, so maybe a text is appropriate for just casually dating.
Alright, please send me some courage telepathically!
) since March. He's not ready for a relationship and considers us just casually dating. We've had more than one conversation about this. But, I always have a good time with him and I enjoy talking to him. And I guess I'm just kind of used to him. Plus, he's pretty good lookin' .I didn't really want to date other people because I'm not the type who can date multiple people, unless they are just first or second dates. It slowly became obvious that I needed to though, so I put online profiles back up, joined OKC, etc.
Enter Phillip. Phillip makes me laugh and smile. He is super sweet, romantic, kind. We talk all day on Instant Messenger and sometimes it still doesn't feel like enough. Our dates feel more like we've been together for months. It is not a relationship yet, but it is definitely relationship-bound, and based upon the pace things are going, I would say that it is relationship-bound very soon.
It is time to cut David out of the picture for several reasons including the fact that (like previously stated) I don't do well at dating multiple guys and I feel like I'm cheating on Phillip (even though it's not a relationship yet, it often feels that way). I am sure, at the very least, a phone call is in order here, but I don't have the guts to do it. I just got off the phone with him (he called me) and I had the perfect opening, but because his son was in the car with him and because I lack courage, I didn't. He wants to see me tomorrow evening. Phillip and I already have plans for tomorrow afternoon (which, could foreseeably turn into tomorrow evening).
Help! Can I do this via text? David and I do discuss serious matters often via text since he so often has his son with him. Should I just plan on seeing him tomorrow and tell him in person? I really want to do it via text, but that seems so crappy. Then again, it is he who wanted to keep our status "just casually dating" for months, so maybe a text is appropriate for just casually dating.
Alright, please send me some courage telepathically!
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Replies
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I would say no text and at least a phone call. Philip isn't your bf yet, so rather than saying things are over, I would say something like:
David, because you wanted to only casually date and I wanted more, I started casually dating someone else whom I've grown close to. You're a great guy and I enjoy spending time with you, but we're looking for different things.
Or something.0 -
No text or email. Do it over the phone.
You just have to find time that works for both of you.0 -
Text is probably a bit cold but am one that thinks if it has been the normal venue for conversation then would probably be okay.
As a side note,don`t let your fantasies run away with you over Phillip.0 -
I would say no text and at least a phone call. Philip isn't your bf yet, so rather than saying things are over, I would say something like:
David, because you wanted to only casually date and I wanted more, I started casually dating someone else whom I've grown close to. You're a great guy and I enjoy spending time with you, but we're looking for different things.
Or something.
This sounds like the best option. Honestly...it's what I would do.0 -
As a side note,don`t let your fantasies run away with you over Phillip.
I'm not. We just totally click.0 -
Turns out non-breakups are equally difficult. Less heartbreak, but still painful. :frown:0
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I would say no text and at least a phone call. Philip isn't your bf yet, so rather than saying things are over, I would say something like:
David, because you wanted to only casually date and I wanted more, I started casually dating someone else whom I've grown close to. You're a great guy and I enjoy spending time with you, but we're looking for different things.
Or something.
I love that. That is exactly what I would say.0 -
I'm not sure if you have already but I think you should call. It's the least you could do for someone that you have been emotionally connected to.0
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Meh .. text the dude. lol.0
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I would say no text and at least a phone call. Philip isn't your bf yet, so rather than saying things are over, I would say something like:
David, because you wanted to only casually date and I wanted more, I started casually dating someone else whom I've grown close to. You're a great guy and I enjoy spending time with you, but we're looking for different things.
Or something.
this^^^ Yeah, spot on niece :flowerforyou: 0 -
I would say no text and at least a phone call. Philip isn't your bf yet, so rather than saying things are over, I would say something like:
David, because you wanted to only casually date and I wanted more, I started casually dating someone else whom I've grown close to. You're a great guy and I enjoy spending time with you, but we're looking for different things.
Or something.
this^^^ Yeah, spot on niece :flowerforyou:
I dunno, it sounds a bit too accusing "YOU didn't want ME". I'd shorten it even more "I've been seeing someone that I really like and it's moving into a relationship. I've enjoyed spending time with you and I hope you find someone too"0 -
I can't advocate breaking up with anyone named David. That just seems too personal. Dump Phillip!
Seriously though, do it with a phone call but don't make tentative plans to do it later in the same day you have a date with Phillip. Tell David you have plans and that night isn't open.0 -
I'm with you! Based on his name alone, David sounds like a great guyI can't advocate breaking up with anyone named David. That just seems too personal. Dump Phillip! 0
This discussion has been closed.