Players.........
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So, remind me, do women dislike sex these days? Do they all just want a husband to support them? If so, then yes, beware of the player. If not, then consider who is playing whom.
Women love sex. But as far as I know (correct me if I'm wrong) if a woman just wants sex, then she doesnt have to lure a guy into bed under the pretense of wanting a relationship with him. Men are usually quite accomodating when a woman wants sex?
So why are women insisting they want an emotional connection if they are happy with just having sex?
One of the things that mystifies me is when ladies say it has to be something deep but then will talk of having a FWB which is the antitheses of an emotional connection.0 -
So, remind me, do women dislike sex these days? Do they all just want a husband to support them? If so, then yes, beware of the player. If not, then consider who is playing whom.
Women love sex. But as far as I know (correct me if I'm wrong) if a woman just wants sex, then she doesnt have to lure a guy into bed under the pretense of wanting a relationship with him. Men are usually quite accomodating when a woman wants sex?
So why are women insisting they want an emotional connection if they are happy with just having sex?
One of the things that mystifies me is when ladies say it has to be something deep but then will talk of having a FWB which is the antitheses of an emotional connection.
Because NOT all of us are contradicting in our thoughts like that.
Personally, yes, I love sex. I do. I want to have sex. I miss sex.
BUT
I don't want to have sex just for the sake of having sex. It does have to mean something to me. I cannot separate the physical from the emotional. I want both. I want a committed relationship. I want a connection. I want emotional as well as physical intimacy.
And I, personally, will not have a FWB. I can't. Because I want the relationship. And if I have a FWB while I'm looking for a relationship, I would feel deceitful and, yes, contradictory in my actions. How could I go out on a date with one guy, trying to build something meaningful and lasting, one night and come home to have sex with a FWB? I couldn't do that. I'm a one-man kind of woman. If I'm truly interested in someone, I want to take time to get to know THAT person, not multiple people.
okay, I'm done ranting... just know that not all women are that way... just like not all men are players...0 -
So, remind me, do women dislike sex these days? Do they all just want a husband to support them? If so, then yes, beware of the player. If not, then consider who is playing whom.
Women love sex. But as far as I know (correct me if I'm wrong) if a woman just wants sex, then she doesnt have to lure a guy into bed under the pretense of wanting a relationship with him. Men are usually quite accomodating when a woman wants sex?
True BUT I think a lot of women try to use sex thinking they'll be so amazing that he'll want to date them, haha...Poor guy probably thinks he's hit the gold mine with a woman just wanting to use him.... Yeah, right?! Not saying there aren't plenty of women who are just out for sex, but far more that use it as a tool, no pun intended, haha!
Yeah, I know there are some women like that. But I still dont find it comparable. Offering a guy sex in return for a relationship v lying to a woman in return for sex.
I mean, the guy is enjoying himself too, right? And he's really not going to stick around for a LTR if he really doesnt want to? And she at least likes him!!
Whereas a player is just lying about his feelings, his motives are purely selfish and his goal is for fun, not a future.0 -
So, remind me, do women dislike sex these days? Do they all just want a husband to support them? If so, then yes, beware of the player. If not, then consider who is playing whom.
Women love sex. But as far as I know (correct me if I'm wrong) if a woman just wants sex, then she doesnt have to lure a guy into bed under the pretense of wanting a relationship with him. Men are usually quite accomodating when a woman wants sex?
So why are women insisting they want an emotional connection if they are happy with just having sex?
One of the things that mystifies me is when ladies say it has to be something deep but then will talk of having a FWB which is the antitheses of an emotional connection.
Because NOT all of us are contradicting in our thoughts like that.
Personally, yes, I love sex. I do. I want to have sex. I miss sex.
BUT
I don't want to have sex just for the sake of having sex. It does have to mean something to me. I cannot separate the physical from the emotional. I want both. I want a committed relationship. I want a connection. I want emotional as well as physical intimacy.
And I, personally, will not have a FWB. I can't. Because I want the relationship. And if I have a FWB while I'm looking for a relationship, I would feel deceitful and, yes, contradictory in my actions. How could I go out on a date with one guy, trying to build something meaningful and lasting, one night and come home to have sex with a FWB? I couldn't do that. I'm a one-man kind of woman. If I'm truly interested in someone, I want to take time to get to know THAT person, not multiple people.
okay, I'm done ranting... just know that not all women are that way... just like not all men are players...
That is my point but has often been contradicted.0 -
just know that not all women are that way... just like not all men are players...
this^^^^
@Carl. Not all women are created equal. Just like all men are not.
Not all women need emotional sex. Or want a relationship! Or go through phases of wanting and not wanting.....lol
And not all men pretend to have feelings to get sex. In fact, I'd say players are quite rare seeing as I've only come across one in my life. One too many though. It's quite hurtful, even for one date, to find out the guy was totally insincere, from the moment you met him.0 -
just know that not all women are that way... just like not all men are players...
this^^^^
@Carl. Not all women are created equal. Just like all men are not.
Not all women need emotional sex. Or want a relationship! Or go through phases of wanting and not wanting.....lol
And not all men pretend to have feelings to get sex. In fact, I'd say players are quite rare seeing as I've only come across one in my life. One too many though. It's quite hurtful, even for one date, to find out the guy was totally insincere, from the moment you met him.
And here we have the divide. If you have sex early, then consider that you're having it because you want to. If you want something emotional, then hold out until that has been agreed. That is exactly why I think the whole third date rule is just crazy. How about the we both get each other rule?0 -
just know that not all women are that way... just like not all men are players...
this^^^^
@Carl. Not all women are created equal. Just like all men are not.
Not all women need emotional sex. Or want a relationship! Or go through phases of wanting and not wanting.....lol
And not all men pretend to have feelings to get sex. In fact, I'd say players are quite rare seeing as I've only come across one in my life. One too many though. It's quite hurtful, even for one date, to find out the guy was totally insincere, from the moment you met him.
And here we have the divide. If you have sex early, then consider that you're having it because you want to. If you want something emotional, then hold out until that has been agreed. That is exactly why I think the whole third date rule is just crazy. How about the we both get each other rule?
Oh, dont get me wrong Allan, he never got me into bed, he just tried.
I agree that rules are rubbish. Yeah, in an ideal world, lets just be honest with each other and say what we want/need. Then at least we have half a chance of meeting in the middle :flowerforyou:0 -
That is exactly why I think the whole third date rule is just crazy. How about the we both get each other rule?
agreed0 -
just know that not all women are that way... just like not all men are players...
this^^^^
@Carl. Not all women are created equal. Just like all men are not.
Not all women need emotional sex. Or want a relationship! Or go through phases of wanting and not wanting.....lol
And not all men pretend to have feelings to get sex. In fact, I'd say players are quite rare seeing as I've only come across one in my life. One too many though. It's quite hurtful, even for one date, to find out the guy was totally insincere, from the moment you met him.
That is fine and cool by me but I don`t get where a lady will say on one thread that sex takes an emotional commitment and then on another talk of having a FWB.
I don`t care what they pretend in their mind the two cannot be resolved.0 -
just know that not all women are that way... just like not all men are players...
this^^^^
@Carl. Not all women are created equal. Just like all men are not.
Not all women need emotional sex. Or want a relationship! Or go through phases of wanting and not wanting.....lol
And not all men pretend to have feelings to get sex. In fact, I'd say players are quite rare seeing as I've only come across one in my life. One too many though. It's quite hurtful, even for one date, to find out the guy was totally insincere, from the moment you met him.
That is fine and cool by me but I don`t get where a lady will say on one thread that sex takes an emotional commitment and then on another talk of having a FWB.
I don`t care what they pretend in their mind the two cannot be resolved.
You can have emotion for a FWB!!! I think we had this discussion before? Some FWBs are FWBs because a relationship is out the question. Not because you dont have feelings for each other. A lot of ex's end up being FWB's simply because they know the full on relationship doesnt work for them.
I kinda think a FWB is a relationship without the commitment and the domesticity.
I know we all have different definitions for a FWB though, ranging from cold, unemotional, 'scratch an itch' type sex to warm and affectionate good friends that care for each other :flowerforyou:0 -
All guys are after one thing, its what a woman has to offer that determines how long he stays around after hooking up.
Actually, what I've been taught is that all guys are after "one thing" (and a woman should be happy he finds her attractive) and it's what adventures they do together while he is pursuing that "one thing" that builds in him an emotional connection to the woman.
Guys? what say you?0 -
just know that not all women are that way... just like not all men are players...
this^^^^
@Carl. Not all women are created equal. Just like all men are not.
Not all women need emotional sex. Or want a relationship! Or go through phases of wanting and not wanting.....lol
And not all men pretend to have feelings to get sex. In fact, I'd say players are quite rare seeing as I've only come across one in my life. One too many though. It's quite hurtful, even for one date, to find out the guy was totally insincere, from the moment you met him.
That is fine and cool by me but I don`t get where a lady will say on one thread that sex takes an emotional commitment and then on another talk of having a FWB.
I don`t care what they pretend in their mind the two cannot be resolved.
You can have emotion for a FWB!!! I think we had this discussion before? Some FWBs are FWBs because a relationship is out the question. Not because you dont have feelings for each other. A lot of ex's end up being FWB's simply because they know the full on relationship doesnt work for them.
I kinda think a FWB is a relationship without the commitment and the domesticity.
I know we all have different definitions for a FWB though, ranging from cold, unemotional, 'scratch an itch' type sex to warm and affectionate good friends that care for each other :flowerforyou:
Understand that a guy most likely does not share your definition,to him it is just what it says,not a second level relationship without the words.0 -
All guys are after one thing, its what a woman has to offer that determines how long he stays around after hooking up.
Actually, what I've been taught is that all guys are after "one thing" (and a woman should be happy he finds her attractive) and it's what adventures they do together while he is pursuing that "one thing" that builds in him an emotional connection to the woman.
Guys? what say you?
Desiring and having that as a mission are two different things.
There are guys who just want sex as there are ladies that do,our drive is a lot more basic because it does not pretend to tie it to anything.
Beyond that the statement is BS in my mind because I am a guy that wants to hold hands with a lady,sit and stare off quietly into a sunset,feel her head on my shoulder while watching a movie on TV and so on.
It is a lot more of that then just getting off but we are at least honest to say we are okay with both.0 -
All guys are after one thing, its what a woman has to offer that determines how long he stays around after hooking up.
Actually, what I've been taught is that all guys are after "one thing" (and a woman should be happy he finds her attractive) and it's what adventures they do together while he is pursuing that "one thing" that builds in him an emotional connection to the woman.
Guys? what say you?
What builds an emotional connection is a feeling that I can trust her. She is not manipulative and that I am getting or going to get my sexual needs met without some ulterior motive. The very nature of what you have been taught smacks in the face of all that. It is withholding sex in order to manipulate the situation so you feel more secure that your needs will be met. If I figured out that was what you were doing or even suspected that was what you were doing, I'd drop you in a heart beat. I probably wouldn't even talk to you again after making that decision.0 -
just know that not all women are that way... just like not all men are players...
this^^^^
@Carl. Not all women are created equal. Just like all men are not.
Not all women need emotional sex. Or want a relationship! Or go through phases of wanting and not wanting.....lol
And not all men pretend to have feelings to get sex. In fact, I'd say players are quite rare seeing as I've only come across one in my life. One too many though. It's quite hurtful, even for one date, to find out the guy was totally insincere, from the moment you met him.
That is fine and cool by me but I don`t get where a lady will say on one thread that sex takes an emotional commitment and then on another talk of having a FWB.
I don`t care what they pretend in their mind the two cannot be resolved.
You can have emotion for a FWB!!! I think we had this discussion before? Some FWBs are FWBs because a relationship is out the question. Not because you dont have feelings for each other. A lot of ex's end up being FWB's simply because they know the full on relationship doesnt work for them.
I kinda think a FWB is a relationship without the commitment and the domesticity.
I know we all have different definitions for a FWB though, ranging from cold, unemotional, 'scratch an itch' type sex to warm and affectionate good friends that care for each other :flowerforyou:
Understand that a guy most likely does not share your definition,to him it is just what it says,not a second level relationship without the words.
I dont expect it matters what I think in the scheme of things, but judging by the male reaction to Yoovie publishing her set of rules for a FWB (a couple months ago) I would say you do men an injustice by implying they dont have emotions/feelings.
Why is it so wrong to say I want sex with the same person, because building a sexual relationship with one person is pretty awesome, but I dont want the commitment?
People are complex and unique. I just find each situation in my life quite different from the last. That's why I'm loathe to agree to any one definition.
But hey, as long as we do what makes us happy, that's the main thing :flowerforyou:0 -
Can't a woman have a FWB that she uses as a *kitten* and then still be looking for someone to emotionally connect with? Lol.
ETA: As long as her FWB knows that he's only a penis that doesn't use batteries.0 -
I don't care how one wants to qualify it, you cannot say sex is something special that needs an emotional bond and then also say you have or have had a FWB, they are the opposite of each other.
Don't get me wrong am not being moralistic or judgemental,just saying what is.0 -
Can't a woman have a FWB that she uses as a *kitten* and then still be looking for someone to emotionally connect with? Lol.
ETA: As long as her FWB knows that he's only a penis that doesn't use batteries.
:laugh: yes hun :bigsmile:
I was debating the other side of the coin with Carl by saying that one can have an emotional connection with a sexual 'partner' and not want a relationship with him/her too.
All scenario's are possible, I think :flowerforyou:0 -
I don't care how one wants to qualify it, you cannot say sex is something special that needs an emotional bond and then also say you have or have had a FWB, they are the opposite of each other.
Don't get me wrong am not being moralistic or judgemental,just saying what is.
ok Carl, I give up trying to explain my point on this one :flowerforyou:0 -
It is not a question of can a lady have a sexual relationship outside of emotional bond but can she honestly have it on one hand but then demand it on the other.I don't care how one wants to qualify it, you cannot say sex is something special that needs an emotional bond and then also say you have or have had a FWB, they are the opposite of each other.
Don't get me wrong am not being moralistic or judgemental,just saying what is.
ok Carl, I give up trying to explain my point on this one :flowerforyou:
That is all I am talking about.0
