Physical imperfections

oddyogi

Alright, we're all on a fitness site, so I'm ASSUMING that we're all after our own ideas of a "perfect" body. Or at least, we're all continuously trying to improve our physiques. For me, I've lost the weight. I'm pretty much maintaining with focus on meeting fitness goals, i.e. lowering my run time, getting stronger, doing my WODs faster, etc.

With that being said.. although I'm striving for my own idea of "perfection" in myself, in a partner I much prefer someone who is imperfect as well, because I think it makes me feel a little bit more comfortable in my own skin. Or, rather, I assume there will be less judging. I'm not perfect and I don't expect anyone to be, and while men like Channing Tatum are nice to look at, I don't really want to be with a man who is in "perfect" shape. I want my man to have some little love handles on him too. I want my man to enjoy junk food and sweets with me sometimes, and then go with me the next day for a run or a hike.

What do you guys/gals think? I know physical attraction is important, but would you rather be with someone who a 10+ or someone just as perfectly imperfect as you are?

Maybe this question and preference stems back to my ex. He was always super lean and would criticize or question me anytime I wanted to have a treat (not like half a pie, only a cookie every other week or so), and I was thinner then than I am now!

SouthernSweetie74

I want someone who is imperfect. Definitely.

I have more than one reason for this, though. Part of it is because I'm imperfect. Another part is because the super goodlooking guys that I have dated tended to be more arrogant, and arrogance, in my opinion, is NOT attractive.

Personally, I care more about how I connect with someone mentally and emotionally than I do about how they look. Yes, physical attraction is important but overall chemistry is way more important to me. I find a variety of men attractive for a variety of reasons.

Mom2rh

Well there are fantasy "ideals" and then there is the real world.

In my fantasy, the guy is 6'4", great body, 6 pack abs, etc. I doubt I would ever attract someone that is "perfect" because I am not perfect. I think people end up settling with similar attractiveness. So if you are a 10, you will more than likely end up with a 10. I don't think I'm a 10.

In the real world, too, for me, attraction starts with personality and intelligence. I think I have a lot to offer in that arena.

But I am really critical of myself as well as committed to fitness and strength...so that keeps me working out, improving myself and all that.

In general the next person I date or whatever will likely have imperfections, but the levels of attraction (mind, sense of humor, intelligence, interests) will make them more attractive.

It's a multifaceted issue...thus my confusing answer.

NCTravellingGirl

I do think most of it is mental. My friends got all over me because I struggled to return a message from an online dating site to a guy who, according to his profile and pics, was a Navy Search and Rescue swimmer. While our profiles were very compatible, I guess I was a little shocked that he messaged me first after reading my profile. It's ALL about confidence, I know....

But, I still agree with you. As cheesy as it sounds, I'm on a long term journey that still will include a lot of cupcakes, haha... and my last bf who was REALLY in shape and ate a strict balanced diet left me thinking we couldn't enjoy things together (except that one day a week he indulged) and that he didn't appreciate my baking, something I LOVE doing for others.

So I guess I'm realizing it's a little more than confidence...there still is some compatibility in lifestyle that plays a part. I hope your SL is good with some sweets too!

SouthernSweetie74

Well there are fantasy "ideals" and then there is the real world.

In my fantasy, the guy is 6'4", great body, 6 pack abs, etc. I doubt I would ever attract someone that is "perfect" because I am not perfect. I think people end up settling with similar attractiveness. So if you are a 10, you will more than likely end up with a 10. I don't think I'm a 10.

In the real world, too, for me, attraction starts with personality and intelligence. I think I have a lot to offer in that arena.

But I am really critical of myself as well as committed to fitness and strength...so that keeps me working out, improving myself and all that.

In general the next person I date or whatever will likely have imperfections, but the levels of attraction (mind, sense of humor, intelligence, interests) will make them more attractive.

It's a multifaceted issue...thus my confusing answer.

I completely understand!!! Goes along with what I was trying to say, too.

JanieJack

I don't really want to be with a man who is in "perfect" shape. I want my man to have some little love handles on him too. I want my man to enjoy junk food and sweets with me sometimes, and then go with me the next day for a run or a hike.

What do you guys/gals think? I know physical attraction is important, but would you rather be with someone who a 10+ or someone just as perfectly imperfect as you are?

I don't really go for the "perfect look." I'm more into the "guy next door" style. I did enjoy being around bodybuilder guy at first, but after a while you guys here all saw me start to get insecure about my appearance. He was so perfectly shaped! And his ex had weighed a good 50lbs less than me, so I began to feel insecure about that. So, yeah, I think I would rather have someone who might have some imperfections like I do but is working to improve/maintain his fitness like I am.

stems back to my ex. He was always super lean and would criticize or question me anytime I wanted to have a treat (not like half a pie, only a cookie every other week or so), and I was thinner then than I am now!

WOW this is true of me too! I was just telling a friend that today! My ex is extremely lean, very high metabolism, and didn't understand why I had to watch what I ate or work out so much. I never really liked small guys but he had ALL the muscles and that won me over. I might have been heavier during pregnancy or surgery but my "daily" weight NOW is a good 15-20lbs more than it was through most of our marriage. Yet all I heard was criticism.

Edit: The problem I have with the "perfect 10" guys is it's just hard for me to trust them. It's the prettier boys that play my friends or appear to be so self-conceited they can't be bothered to tend to your needs (after all, you should be grateful just to be in their presence) so when I see a guy that looks too perfect, I actually don't want to spend time with him.

oddyogi

I get what y'all are sayin'..

over time I even grow to love and cherish the physical imperfections on my man.

SL has the cutest little lovehandles, but the sexiest back muscles, and he bakes me brownies and feeds me ice cream, hahaha.

But we're both really dedicated to working out 5/6 days a week, so might as well enjoy it.

flimflamfloz

What do you guys/gals think? I know physical attraction is important, but would you rather be with someone who a 10+ or someone just as perfectly imperfect as you are?

I guess I would rather be with a 10+, but truly it doesn't matter to me.
If I find the girl attractive (I suspect for me from 7 to 10+ there is virtually no difference in terms of attraction purely based on looks) and interesting/intelligent, and compatible, and she isn't a PITA or "broken goods" then I'm a happy bunny!

I most definitely don't need a perfect looking woman, and I tend to make fun of my own physical imperfections.

JanieJack

It really is amazing when you find someone who loves you enough that s/he doesn't notice your physical imperfections. A friend of mine is experiencing this, and it's just wonderful to see her finally appreciated for the awesome woman she is.

Natx83

Whilst having an awesome body is lovely to look at, I feel the same and I dont think I would go for someone with that "perfect body" not out having something against it but maybe its to do with our own perception for sure.

To be honest, a girl who is funny, cute and actually has a personality is always going to be hotter to me than some girl whos a perfect 10 with the personality of a goldfish.

MissingMinnesota

I don't think anyone ever really has the "perfect body". People will always find something wrong with themselves and usually point them out to you.

jesusHchris

I'm a little obsessive over my own fitness and nutrition, but I don't really care that a potential partner is. Actually, it would probably be pretty lame if we sat around and talked about amino acids and carb cycling all day long.

However, they would have to be in decent shape and it would be pretty awesome if they were into outdoor activities.

That being said, I could make a list of what would make up the "perfect partner" and then fall for the complete opposite. Stupid brain chemicals.

AnnaPixie

Fitness freaks kinda get on my nerves, so I doubt I'd be attractive or attracted to someone who couldnt go out to dinner without his protein shake!! :laugh:

Most of my b/fs have been slim/toned though, so I dont think it's about the body, as much as their mind/attitude. If we can drink a bottle of wine (or two) together, listen to music and chat till the sun comes up, and eat Frosties* for breakfast, then we're a match made in heaven

Criticism of a partner, of any kind, is a match made in hell! :noway:

SL has the cutest little lovehandles, but the sexiest back muscles, and he bakes me brownies and feeds me ice cream, hahaha.

But we're both really dedicated to working out 5/6 days a week, so might as well enjoy it.

Perfect!!


*Frosties, very sugary, unhealthy breakfast cereal.....lol

rml_16

I think I would have trouble being physically attracted to a very obese and unhealthy man, but otherwise I don't have a preference. I can become attracted to a man after getting to know him, so the physical (good, bad or indifferent) doesn't mean much to me. I've been involved with many shapes and sizes.

kerrymh

I am so far from perfect lol..but at the same time if Joe Manganiello proposed to me I would not say No..who am I to tell some one who thinks I'm beautiful that I am not lol . Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The last man I was really totally in to was probably 50-75lbs over wt still but very active and I looked in his eyes and didn't give a damn if he had a belly or a broken tooth..those things made him even sexier some how.

Beauty and attraction is subjective...some people think Leo Dicaprio is handsome (I'd guess many people think that).. but for me nope not interested what so ever.
I am not perfect physically and I may never get any better than I am right now unless I can have some plastic surgery some day..I accept physical imperfections with out much thought. I've never dated a man with abs..and I probably never will (not that I wouldn't like to lol I just assume it won't happen).
I have dated a man with CP and a blind man so I can handle alittle beer belly I hope they can handle my woobly arms and saggy belly.

Laces_0ut

i'd prefer my mate to be as hot as possible.

christine24t

What do you guys/gals think? I know physical attraction is important, but would you rather be with someone who a 10+ or someone just as perfectly imperfect as you are?

I would rather date an overweight guy hands down. I feel too self-conscious when people are too good looking. I'd like someone to be more on par with me, which is overweight but active.

Nerple

I doubt I'd care either way

shammxo

I have no idea what I want.... But I remember reading an article that was talking about how women (specifically during sex) are paying attention to all the stuff wrong with their bodies... Stretch marks, little fat folds, I have huge thighs, my boobs are too small, my *kitten* is huge, the works. But that is the LAST thing a guy is thinking about. Or when you're cuddling with someone and freaking out about how your tummy folds over a little bit... I don't think guys notice these things.

When you really care about somebody, the little physical "imperfections" become endearing. They're what make us unique.
Now if only I could get this through my thick skull.

NYChick84

It really is amazing when you find someone who loves you enough that s/he doesn't notice your physical imperfections. A friend of mine is experiencing this, and it's just wonderful to see her finally appreciated for the awesome woman she is.

It truly is!

I never wanted the perfect 10.....they're just too...pretty! I don't like pretty boys. Pretty boys are usually arrogant, selfish, conceited, and crude! Personality and intelligence is a lot more attractive than looks. Looks fade over time....but love, that lasts forever.

castadiva

I don't think anyone ever really has the "perfect body". People will always find something wrong with themselves and usually point them out to you.

This! Even the people we perceive as being most beautiful generally have something, or several somethings they dislike about their own appearance. That said, I suspect that being with someone the outer world perceived as a '10+' (I loathe this rating system, it seems utterly demeaning and cruel to me. Besides, one person's 'gorgeous' is another's 'just alright'.) would make me all the more aware of my own physical shortcomings and probably increase any feelings of insecurity within the relationship.

Physical attributes and appearances change. Provided I can look at a person and find them pleasant or at least tolerable to look at, I'm more interested in the brain and the personality inside.

Prahasaurus

Physical attributes and appearances change. Provided I can look at a person and find them pleasant or at least tolerable to look at, I'm more interested in the brain and the personality inside.

Personality, personality, personality. Sure, she needs to look presentable. She needs to take care of herself. She needs to have a sense of style. Intelligence is a given (and a red line).

I see you are an opera singer. That right there is incredibly interesting! And hence super sexy.

To be brutally honest, I started to get in better shape to attract more women. I look younger when I'm thinner, or so I'm told, so a more fit Prahasaurus means a widening pool of potential mates. Evolution 101.

However, if I really think about it, it's probably 90% narcissism. I'm trying to look better for myself. The type of woman I'd want to spend the rest of my life with certainly doesn't care about 20 kg, or my six pack abs (or rather, lack thereof). But I just can't stop myself now... :-)

--P

RunningDirty

If someone is aiming for perfection, they'll never be truly happy and will always be obsessed about it. That's not fun. As long as a guy can laugh at his imperfections and rock them as if they were a six pack, they're good in my book. :bigsmile: