Another one for the men... pre-existing female friendships
Replies
-
My best friend is a guy and we both state this to any possible romantic entanglements. We are tighter than blood, spend ridiculous amounts of time together, have never even almost accidentally slightly barely hooked up/kissed/anything never. We need each other. Anyone who strolls in and says choose can keep walking.
ive had a man tell me, "no girlfriend of mine is going to go stay at a band's house; wtf would i tell my friends?"
and I immediately responded - "well im no girlfriend of yours then".
You cant put a blanket disapproval on someone you havent gotten to know. And reducing my second longest friendship to 'sleeping at a band's house' just because you dont know how to spin when you tell your friends where your gf is... is your damn problem.
He could have easily just said- "oh she has other plans"
- or if he wanted it to sound awesome - he could say- "oh she shot a metal concert in the city last night and crashed there with her friends but she'll be home first thing int he morning with my bacon bagel and coffee before I even wake up. heh. my gf is the shz."0 -
My friends will always be the most important people in my life. Also, I'm getting a dog.
I think I will enjoy dying alone.0 -
If the person is a friend, WHO CARES?
Jealousy has no place in a relationship.0 -
If the person is a friend, WHO CARES?
Jealousy has no place in a relationship.0 -
Hey now! I am not a dog....I say Ruff, not woofMy friends will always be the most important people in my life. Also, I'm getting a dog.
I think I will enjoy dying alone.0 -
My best friend is a guy and we both state this to any possible romantic entanglements. We are tighter than blood, spend ridiculous amounts of time together, have never even almost accidentally slightly barely hooked up/kissed/anything never. We need each other. Anyone who strolls in and says choose can keep walking.
ive had a man tell me, "no girlfriend of mine is going to go stay at a band's house; wtf would i tell my friends?"
and I immediately responded - "well im no girlfriend of yours then".
You cant put a blanket disapproval on someone you havent gotten to know. And reducing my second longest friendship to 'sleeping at a band's house' just because you dont know how to spin when you tell your friends where your gf is... is your damn problem.
He could have easily just said- "oh she has other plans"
- or if he wanted it to sound awesome - he could say- "oh she shot a metal concert in the city last night and crashed there with her friends but she'll be home first thing int he morning with my bacon bagel and coffee before I even wake up. heh. my gf is the shz."
Thank you. Gives me hope that there are women that are more than accepting of close friends (nearly family) of the opposite sex. Maybe I just need to start looking for a woman with a close guy friend, so it all balances out.0 -
My best friend is a guy and we both state this to any possible romantic entanglements. We are tighter than blood, spend ridiculous amounts of time together, have never even almost accidentally slightly barely hooked up/kissed/anything never. We need each other. Anyone who strolls in and says choose can keep walking.
ive had a man tell me, "no girlfriend of mine is going to go stay at a band's house; wtf would i tell my friends?"
and I immediately responded - "well im no girlfriend of yours then".
You cant put a blanket disapproval on someone you havent gotten to know. And reducing my second longest friendship to 'sleeping at a band's house' just because you dont know how to spin when you tell your friends where your gf is... is your damn problem.
He could have easily just said- "oh she has other plans"
- or if he wanted it to sound awesome - he could say- "oh she shot a metal concert in the city last night and crashed there with her friends but she'll be home first thing int he morning with my bacon bagel and coffee before I even wake up. heh. my gf is the shz."
Thank you. Gives me hope that there are women that are more than accepting of close friends (nearly family) of the opposite sex. Maybe I just need to start looking for a woman with a close guy friend, so it all balances out.
my bestie's girlfriend's bestie is a dude. balance = awesomesauce.0 -
Thank you. Gives me hope that there are women that are more than accepting of close friends (nearly family) of the opposite sex. Maybe I just need to start looking for a woman with a close guy friend, so it all balances out.
Seems to me plenty of women on this site, myself included, are fine with "friends" of the opposite sex...but (by my definition) "friends" don't engage in romantic behavior with each other, nor do they send sexy texts/emails, and they don't do anything together that has to be hidden from the "friends" SO.0 -
Thank you. Gives me hope that there are women that are more than accepting of close friends (nearly family) of the opposite sex. Maybe I just need to start looking for a woman with a close guy friend, so it all balances out.
Seems to me plenty of women on this site, myself included, are fine with "friends" of the opposite sex...but (by my definition) "friends" don't engage in romantic behavior with each other, nor do they send sexy texts/emails, and they don't do anything together that has to be hidden from the "friends" SO.
Of course, "different strokes for different folks" so everyone has a different definition of what's appropriate in their relationship. My coworker has an endless stream of male friends, some engaging in sexy talk, some engaging with more physical attention than I, personally, would engage in with men I'm not committed to. Her husband’s away for work (military) and she even spends time with old boyfriends. But her husband doesn't seem to mind (she was like that before he left), so I guess it works for them. Keeps the relationship spicy or something.
I would be very uncomfortable with my husband or boyfriend taking a trip or being too friendly with a hot girl he once slept with. That’s just me.0 -
My best friend is a guy and we both state this to any possible romantic entanglements. We are tighter than blood, spend ridiculous amounts of time together, have never even almost accidentally slightly barely hooked up/kissed/anything never. We need each other. Anyone who strolls in and says choose can keep walking.
ive had a man tell me, "no girlfriend of mine is going to go stay at a band's house; wtf would i tell my friends?"
and I immediately responded - "well im no girlfriend of yours then".
You cant put a blanket disapproval on someone you havent gotten to know. And reducing my second longest friendship to 'sleeping at a band's house' just because you dont know how to spin when you tell your friends where your gf is... is your damn problem.
He could have easily just said- "oh she has other plans"
- or if he wanted it to sound awesome - he could say- "oh she shot a metal concert in the city last night and crashed there with her friends but she'll be home first thing int he morning with my bacon bagel and coffee before I even wake up. heh. my gf is the shz."
Why do you need to sleep over at your best friends house?? I don't think I'd blame a dude for wondering wtf if you stay over there a lot and he doesn't know the guy well.0 -
My best friend is a guy and we both state this to any possible romantic entanglements. We are tighter than blood, spend ridiculous amounts of time together, have never even almost accidentally slightly barely hooked up/kissed/anything never. We need each other. Anyone who strolls in and says choose can keep walking.
ive had a man tell me, "no girlfriend of mine is going to go stay at a band's house; wtf would i tell my friends?"
and I immediately responded - "well im no girlfriend of yours then".
You cant put a blanket disapproval on someone you havent gotten to know. And reducing my second longest friendship to 'sleeping at a band's house' just because you dont know how to spin when you tell your friends where your gf is... is your damn problem.
He could have easily just said- "oh she has other plans"
- or if he wanted it to sound awesome - he could say- "oh she shot a metal concert in the city last night and crashed there with her friends but she'll be home first thing int he morning with my bacon bagel and coffee before I even wake up. heh. my gf is the shz."
Why do you need to sleep over at your best friends house?? I don't think I'd blame a dude for wondering wtf if you stay over there a lot and he doesn't know the guy well.
1. because I want to so we can stay up late working on all our projects
2. or I just finished shooting his show and its safer for me to jump in their car and sleep over, where I have my own space, safely, instead of taking the two hour ride home alone on the nyc subway while innebriated and alone at 3 am.
3. or because we have plans the next morning and its easier
4. or because thats where the afterparty is and im not married and i dont have kids and no work the next day- so... i have to miss a party just because my guy is doing something else?
5. that question is making me feel very much like having a bf is a prison.
6. who cares. i sleep over my besties house. Ive been doing it since I was 5.
ETA: if he doesnt know my bestie well, then we aren't in a the kind of commitment yet where he can put his foot down on this matter anyway. Since I have no family, my bestie IS my brother and my other best friend IS my sister. THIS is teh family that would have to approve of them. So if my guy says look, you cant spend time with your family after 1 am anymore - he can go fck himself.0 -
My best friend is a guy and we both state this to any possible romantic entanglements. We are tighter than blood, spend ridiculous amounts of time together, have never even almost accidentally slightly barely hooked up/kissed/anything never. We need each other. Anyone who strolls in and says choose can keep walking.
ive had a man tell me, "no girlfriend of mine is going to go stay at a band's house; wtf would i tell my friends?"
and I immediately responded - "well im no girlfriend of yours then".
You cant put a blanket disapproval on someone you havent gotten to know. And reducing my second longest friendship to 'sleeping at a band's house' just because you dont know how to spin when you tell your friends where your gf is... is your damn problem.
He could have easily just said- "oh she has other plans"
- or if he wanted it to sound awesome - he could say- "oh she shot a metal concert in the city last night and crashed there with her friends but she'll be home first thing int he morning with my bacon bagel and coffee before I even wake up. heh. my gf is the shz."
Why do you need to sleep over at your best friends house?? I don't think I'd blame a dude for wondering wtf if you stay over there a lot and he doesn't know the guy well.
1. because I want to so we can stay up late working on all our projects
2. or I just finished shooting his show and its safer for me to jump in their car and sleep over, where I have my own space, safely, instead of taking the two hour ride home alone on the nyc subway while innebriated and alone at 3 am.
3. or because we have plans the next morning and its easier
4. or because thats where the afterparty is and im not married and i dont have kids and no work the next day- so... i have to miss a party just because my guy is doing something else?
5. that question is making me feel very much like having a bf is a prison.
6. who cares. i sleep over my besties house. Ive been doing it since I was 5.
ETA: if he doesnt know my bestie well, then we aren't in a the kind of commitment yet where he can put his foot down on this matter anyway. Since I have no family, my bestie IS my brother and my other best friend IS my sister. THIS is teh family that would have to approve of them. So if my guy says look, you cant spend time with your family after 1 am anymore - he can go fck himself.
Not saying it's a bad thing... just that if a guy doesn't understand what your bestie means to you and what yall do at his house it could scare him off.0 -
My best friend is a guy and we both state this to any possible romantic entanglements. We are tighter than blood, spend ridiculous amounts of time together, have never even almost accidentally slightly barely hooked up/kissed/anything never. We need each other. Anyone who strolls in and says choose can keep walking.
ive had a man tell me, "no girlfriend of mine is going to go stay at a band's house; wtf would i tell my friends?"
and I immediately responded - "well im no girlfriend of yours then".
You cant put a blanket disapproval on someone you havent gotten to know. And reducing my second longest friendship to 'sleeping at a band's house' just because you dont know how to spin when you tell your friends where your gf is... is your damn problem.
He could have easily just said- "oh she has other plans"
- or if he wanted it to sound awesome - he could say- "oh she shot a metal concert in the city last night and crashed there with her friends but she'll be home first thing int he morning with my bacon bagel and coffee before I even wake up. heh. my gf is the shz."
Why do you need to sleep over at your best friends house?? I don't think I'd blame a dude for wondering wtf if you stay over there a lot and he doesn't know the guy well.
1. because I want to so we can stay up late working on all our projects
2. or I just finished shooting his show and its safer for me to jump in their car and sleep over, where I have my own space, safely, instead of taking the two hour ride home alone on the nyc subway while innebriated and alone at 3 am.
3. or because we have plans the next morning and its easier
4. or because thats where the afterparty is and im not married and i dont have kids and no work the next day- so... i have to miss a party just because my guy is doing something else?
5. that question is making me feel very much like having a bf is a prison.
6. who cares. i sleep over my besties house. Ive been doing it since I was 5.
ETA: if he doesnt know my bestie well, then we aren't in a the kind of commitment yet where he can put his foot down on this matter anyway. Since I have no family, my bestie IS my brother and my other best friend IS my sister. THIS is teh family that would have to approve of them. So if my guy says look, you cant spend time with your family after 1 am anymore - he can go fck himself.
Not saying it's a bad thing... just that if a guy doesn't understand what your bestie means to you and what yall do at his house it could scare him off.
well if he doesnt understand, its because he hasnt paid attention to anything Ive told him when he asks about my family. Which means there's no emotional attachment anyway and we are probably just sleeping together, in which case, it doesnt matter when I sleep on my nights off from him
I mean- if you have a grown sibling and your girl said you cant sleep at your sisters house anymore, or over at your parents house when visiting and you have to either come home or get a hotel.... i mean... what?0 -
My best friend is a guy and we both state this to any possible romantic entanglements. We are tighter than blood, spend ridiculous amounts of time together, have never even almost accidentally slightly barely hooked up/kissed/anything never. We need each other. Anyone who strolls in and says choose can keep walking.
ive had a man tell me, "no girlfriend of mine is going to go stay at a band's house; wtf would i tell my friends?"
and I immediately responded - "well im no girlfriend of yours then".
You cant put a blanket disapproval on someone you havent gotten to know. And reducing my second longest friendship to 'sleeping at a band's house' just because you dont know how to spin when you tell your friends where your gf is... is your damn problem.
He could have easily just said- "oh she has other plans"
- or if he wanted it to sound awesome - he could say- "oh she shot a metal concert in the city last night and crashed there with her friends but she'll be home first thing int he morning with my bacon bagel and coffee before I even wake up. heh. my gf is the shz."
Why do you need to sleep over at your best friends house?? I don't think I'd blame a dude for wondering wtf if you stay over there a lot and he doesn't know the guy well.
1. because I want to so we can stay up late working on all our projects
2. or I just finished shooting his show and its safer for me to jump in their car and sleep over, where I have my own space, safely, instead of taking the two hour ride home alone on the nyc subway while innebriated and alone at 3 am.
3. or because we have plans the next morning and its easier
4. or because thats where the afterparty is and im not married and i dont have kids and no work the next day- so... i have to miss a party just because my guy is doing something else?
5. that question is making me feel very much like having a bf is a prison.
6. who cares. i sleep over my besties house. Ive been doing it since I was 5.
ETA: if he doesnt know my bestie well, then we aren't in a the kind of commitment yet where he can put his foot down on this matter anyway. Since I have no family, my bestie IS my brother and my other best friend IS my sister. THIS is teh family that would have to approve of them. So if my guy says look, you cant spend time with your family after 1 am anymore - he can go fck himself.
Not saying it's a bad thing... just that if a guy doesn't understand what your bestie means to you and what yall do at his house it could scare him off.
well if he doesnt understand, its because he hasnt paid attention to anything Ive told him when he asks about my family. Which means there's no emotional attachment anyway and we are probably just sleeping together, in which case, it doesnt matter when I sleep on my nights off from him
I mean- if you have a grown sibling and your girl said you cant sleep at your sisters house anymore, or over at your parents house when visiting and you have to either come home or get a hotel.... i mean... what?
Maybe it would play better if you call him your brother. If I were someone trying to get to know you I wouldn't question that for a sec. But it sounds like you lay things out pretty clear, so it shouldn't be a problem either way then.0 -
My best friend is a guy and we both state this to any possible romantic entanglements. We are tighter than blood, spend ridiculous amounts of time together, have never even almost accidentally slightly barely hooked up/kissed/anything never. We need each other. Anyone who strolls in and says choose can keep walking.
ive had a man tell me, "no girlfriend of mine is going to go stay at a band's house; wtf would i tell my friends?"
and I immediately responded - "well im no girlfriend of yours then".
You cant put a blanket disapproval on someone you havent gotten to know. And reducing my second longest friendship to 'sleeping at a band's house' just because you dont know how to spin when you tell your friends where your gf is... is your damn problem.
He could have easily just said- "oh she has other plans"
- or if he wanted it to sound awesome - he could say- "oh she shot a metal concert in the city last night and crashed there with her friends but she'll be home first thing int he morning with my bacon bagel and coffee before I even wake up. heh. my gf is the shz."
Why do you need to sleep over at your best friends house?? I don't think I'd blame a dude for wondering wtf if you stay over there a lot and he doesn't know the guy well.
1. because I want to so we can stay up late working on all our projects
2. or I just finished shooting his show and its safer for me to jump in their car and sleep over, where I have my own space, safely, instead of taking the two hour ride home alone on the nyc subway while innebriated and alone at 3 am.
3. or because we have plans the next morning and its easier
4. or because thats where the afterparty is and im not married and i dont have kids and no work the next day- so... i have to miss a party just because my guy is doing something else?
5. that question is making me feel very much like having a bf is a prison.
6. who cares. i sleep over my besties house. Ive been doing it since I was 5.
ETA: if he doesnt know my bestie well, then we aren't in a the kind of commitment yet where he can put his foot down on this matter anyway. Since I have no family, my bestie IS my brother and my other best friend IS my sister. THIS is teh family that would have to approve of them. So if my guy says look, you cant spend time with your family after 1 am anymore - he can go fck himself.
Not saying it's a bad thing... just that if a guy doesn't understand what your bestie means to you and what yall do at his house it could scare him off.
well if he doesnt understand, its because he hasnt paid attention to anything Ive told him when he asks about my family. Which means there's no emotional attachment anyway and we are probably just sleeping together, in which case, it doesnt matter when I sleep on my nights off from him
I mean- if you have a grown sibling and your girl said you cant sleep at your sisters house anymore, or over at your parents house when visiting and you have to either come home or get a hotel.... i mean... what?
Maybe it would play better if you call him your brother. If I were someone trying to get to know you I wouldn't question that for a sec. But it sounds like you lay things out pretty clear, so it shouldn't be a problem either way then.
no way then 5 minths later he'll be all YOU LYING ***** - THE ONLY REASON YOUD LIE IS CAUSE YOURE HIDING SOMETHING I KNEW YOU WERE ****IN AROUND ON ME etc0 -
My best friend is a guy and we both state this to any possible romantic entanglements. We are tighter than blood, spend ridiculous amounts of time together, have never even almost accidentally slightly barely hooked up/kissed/anything never. We need each other. Anyone who strolls in and says choose can keep walking.
ive had a man tell me, "no girlfriend of mine is going to go stay at a band's house; wtf would i tell my friends?"
and I immediately responded - "well im no girlfriend of yours then".
You cant put a blanket disapproval on someone you havent gotten to know. And reducing my second longest friendship to 'sleeping at a band's house' just because you dont know how to spin when you tell your friends where your gf is... is your damn problem.
He could have easily just said- "oh she has other plans"
- or if he wanted it to sound awesome - he could say- "oh she shot a metal concert in the city last night and crashed there with her friends but she'll be home first thing int he morning with my bacon bagel and coffee before I even wake up. heh. my gf is the shz."
Why do you need to sleep over at your best friends house?? I don't think I'd blame a dude for wondering wtf if you stay over there a lot and he doesn't know the guy well.
1. because I want to so we can stay up late working on all our projects
2. or I just finished shooting his show and its safer for me to jump in their car and sleep over, where I have my own space, safely, instead of taking the two hour ride home alone on the nyc subway while innebriated and alone at 3 am.
3. or because we have plans the next morning and its easier
4. or because thats where the afterparty is and im not married and i dont have kids and no work the next day- so... i have to miss a party just because my guy is doing something else?
5. that question is making me feel very much like having a bf is a prison.
6. who cares. i sleep over my besties house. Ive been doing it since I was 5.
ETA: if he doesnt know my bestie well, then we aren't in a the kind of commitment yet where he can put his foot down on this matter anyway. Since I have no family, my bestie IS my brother and my other best friend IS my sister. THIS is teh family that would have to approve of them. So if my guy says look, you cant spend time with your family after 1 am anymore - he can go fck himself.
Not saying it's a bad thing... just that if a guy doesn't understand what your bestie means to you and what yall do at his house it could scare him off.
well if he doesnt understand, its because he hasnt paid attention to anything Ive told him when he asks about my family. Which means there's no emotional attachment anyway and we are probably just sleeping together, in which case, it doesnt matter when I sleep on my nights off from him
I mean- if you have a grown sibling and your girl said you cant sleep at your sisters house anymore, or over at your parents house when visiting and you have to either come home or get a hotel.... i mean... what?
Maybe it would play better if you call him your brother. If I were someone trying to get to know you I wouldn't question that for a sec. But it sounds like you lay things out pretty clear, so it shouldn't be a problem either way then.
no way then 5 minths later he'll be all YOU LYING ***** - THE ONLY REASON YOUD LIE IS CAUSE YOURE HIDING SOMETHING I KNEW YOU WERE ****IN AROUND ON ME etc
I agree -- the best way is to be honest and upfront at the beginning. Anyone who can't trust you shouldn't be in the relationship with you anyway.0 -
My best friend is a guy and we both state this to any possible romantic entanglements. We are tighter than blood, spend ridiculous amounts of time together, have never even almost accidentally slightly barely hooked up/kissed/anything never. We need each other. Anyone who strolls in and says choose can keep walking.
ive had a man tell me, "no girlfriend of mine is going to go stay at a band's house; wtf would i tell my friends?"
and I immediately responded - "well im no girlfriend of yours then".
You cant put a blanket disapproval on someone you havent gotten to know. And reducing my second longest friendship to 'sleeping at a band's house' just because you dont know how to spin when you tell your friends where your gf is... is your damn problem.
He could have easily just said- "oh she has other plans"
- or if he wanted it to sound awesome - he could say- "oh she shot a metal concert in the city last night and crashed there with her friends but she'll be home first thing int he morning with my bacon bagel and coffee before I even wake up. heh. my gf is the shz."
Why do you need to sleep over at your best friends house?? I don't think I'd blame a dude for wondering wtf if you stay over there a lot and he doesn't know the guy well.
1. because I want to so we can stay up late working on all our projects
2. or I just finished shooting his show and its safer for me to jump in their car and sleep over, where I have my own space, safely, instead of taking the two hour ride home alone on the nyc subway while innebriated and alone at 3 am.
3. or because we have plans the next morning and its easier
4. or because thats where the afterparty is and im not married and i dont have kids and no work the next day- so... i have to miss a party just because my guy is doing something else?
5. that question is making me feel very much like having a bf is a prison.
6. who cares. i sleep over my besties house. Ive been doing it since I was 5.
ETA: if he doesnt know my bestie well, then we aren't in a the kind of commitment yet where he can put his foot down on this matter anyway. Since I have no family, my bestie IS my brother and my other best friend IS my sister. THIS is teh family that would have to approve of them. So if my guy says look, you cant spend time with your family after 1 am anymore - he can go fck himself.
Not saying it's a bad thing... just that if a guy doesn't understand what your bestie means to you and what yall do at his house it could scare him off.
well if he doesnt understand, its because he hasnt paid attention to anything Ive told him when he asks about my family. Which means there's no emotional attachment anyway and we are probably just sleeping together, in which case, it doesnt matter when I sleep on my nights off from him
I mean- if you have a grown sibling and your girl said you cant sleep at your sisters house anymore, or over at your parents house when visiting and you have to either come home or get a hotel.... i mean... what?
Maybe it would play better if you call him your brother. If I were someone trying to get to know you I wouldn't question that for a sec. But it sounds like you lay things out pretty clear, so it shouldn't be a problem either way then.
no way then 5 minths later he'll be all YOU LYING ***** - THE ONLY REASON YOUD LIE IS CAUSE YOURE HIDING SOMETHING I KNEW YOU WERE ****IN AROUND ON ME etc
Wasn't saying lie, explain to the dude that you consider him your family0 -
no way then 5 minths later he'll be all YOU LYING ***** - THE ONLY REASON YOUD LIE IS CAUSE YOURE HIDING SOMETHING I KNEW YOU WERE ****IN AROUND ON ME etc
I'm starting to think you date some pretty hard core guys. Some of these situations are really hard to relate to. I'm not sure how you go from clearing up a misunderstanding to "YOU LYING *****"..... Seems like there should be about 5 steps in there somewhere before you're throwing your furniture at each other and calling the police...
Or perhaps it's a generational thing...
--P0 -
Wasn't saying lie, explain to the dude that you consider him your family
See I have gone as far as doing this, un-intentionally. I just refer to my best friend as my little sister on occasion. Which then I have to explain that I have 2 siblings, 1 blood and 1 not. It has always pretty much gone into the whole thing about how we must be messing around together.
I have known her for 10 years and that has never happened or even come close. Hell, we have even slept in the same bed years ago, hotel only had a king bed, and that was it. We SLEPT! But it is hard to get someone to understand that we can just be close, like any blood sibling and that be it.0 -
Maybe he values friendship?0
This discussion has been closed.