Just Need to know

ZenAmante

do you ladys have nights you just start crying out of no where and cant stop for anything and if so what do you do to calm your self down im afraid im gonna go back to that dark place again

i lost my son jan 18th 2011 he was stolen from me by the man i trusted most and died at 8am i found him blue and every time i think of him that day plays over and over in my mind i feel so alone now

jennm72

I had a day like that yesterday and my son passed away in 2004. This time of year is hard for me. I guess I don't really have any wisdom about what to do except don't try to lock the feelings up. That will just cause more issues.

ZenAmante

Thanks

kydogwalker

Hi, I'm Katherine and this August will mark six years from when my son died at age 20. In my opinion, you are still in the height of crisis mode, your loss is so recent. I know the world around us wants us to "get back to normal" but that isn't reality when we have lost a precious child. I find that the total out of control times lessen, and I can sometimes set them aside for appropriate times/places, but every once in a while I just need to really break down and cry for a while. His birth date, death date, and the holidays are just tough. Sometimes it just happens out of the blue. Like Jen said, it's not good to squelch it and force it away, but finding safe space to really grieve and hurt helps us to function and find our "new normal".

To calm down -- I try to find a safe place, sometimes a safe person and just let it out. Sometimes it's at the cemetery, home, in my car. I watched a favorite movie of his last December and cried for hours and hours, but I really needed to.

If you feel yourself really getting depressed, you might need to seek some outside counseling and help. There are a lot of natural things you can do for depression, and then meds as a last resort. I'm in a facebook group called Nutrition:Heal Thyself which is about handling as much as we can through nutrition and supplements -- very few negative side effects and many people can either avoid meds or use them a lot less than is often the case.

Be gentle with yourself - hugs -- Katherine