Doing away with Formal (Bridal Sponsored) Meals
JDRBT
Posts: 264 Member
I recently updated my blog when my well-intentioned BIL sent around a schedule that had "rehearsal dinner" listed on it. (I'm not sure if My Sailor gave him the impression that we're having one, but we're not).
We'd come up with a solution to that problem long ago -
I call it the "Sip n' Snack". I explain more in my blog below.
http://sjhadventures.blogspot.com/2012/07/no-rehearsal-dinner-aka-what-is-sip-n.html
Since then, my in-laws have fallen silent. I'm hoping that they are all just really busy and not offended that everyone will have to purchase their own food.
I really appreciate the fact that everyone put on a brave face when we announced (in May) that My dad has inoperable pancreatic cancer, and we wanted to move the wedding to the West coast (everyone would have had to travel either way as our previous destination was in FL) and up a considerable amount - August 2012, instead of a tenative date to Feb 2013. Most pancreatic cancer patients have about 6-11 months of good health left by the time they are diagnosed. My dad is doing AMAZINGLY well on Chemo, but I really wanted him to be part of our big day. Memories and moments are what is most valuable now, so this is one I'm glad he won't miss (unless something goes wrong in the next 5 weeks, but let's stay positive, shall we?).
All that said, my parents INSISTED on giving us money for the wedding, despite Dad's $900/month chemo treatments. My Sailor's family has to travel farther and haven't offered to help out financially, which is fine. Everyone has different finances now-a-days. As for our contribution, we refuse to pay off a wedding for years, so we're staying strictly within the budget. After clothing, and all that, it's about $3k for 60 people. That's for EVERYTHING. We're very blessed to have some friends come out of the wood works do to things Pro-Bono for us. The venue is only charging us for food and drink and giving us their entire top floor. Most of our vendors are cutting us a deal - and between Military Discounts (My Sailor is a Submariner) and some friends I have in the industry, we're lucky that most of that $3k will go to food. We've cut back from a dinner to a brunch reception - and will have a cash bar available, but will offer very limited alcohol (enough for a toast).
While our story is a bit unique, Brides on a Budget is nothing new, so I thought I'd share this idea I came up with.
To keep the costs down (and my calories pre-destination wedding dress under control) we're doing "Sip N' Snacks", giving people the chance to come to different bars/lounges/restruants on different days and meet up with other guests/wedding party/family members. Want to just socialize? Grab a soda or a glass of water from the bar and come say hi! Want to actually EAT? Order an entree! Want a drink? Go for it! Want to just taste something? Find someone to share an appetizer with! It's very informal and allows folks to come and go as they please. It takes the pressures off big time, and I'll be able to order (or not order) whatever I need (salad, etc) special w/o causing the kitchen to go into a tizzy.
We'd come up with a solution to that problem long ago -
I call it the "Sip n' Snack". I explain more in my blog below.
http://sjhadventures.blogspot.com/2012/07/no-rehearsal-dinner-aka-what-is-sip-n.html
Since then, my in-laws have fallen silent. I'm hoping that they are all just really busy and not offended that everyone will have to purchase their own food.
I really appreciate the fact that everyone put on a brave face when we announced (in May) that My dad has inoperable pancreatic cancer, and we wanted to move the wedding to the West coast (everyone would have had to travel either way as our previous destination was in FL) and up a considerable amount - August 2012, instead of a tenative date to Feb 2013. Most pancreatic cancer patients have about 6-11 months of good health left by the time they are diagnosed. My dad is doing AMAZINGLY well on Chemo, but I really wanted him to be part of our big day. Memories and moments are what is most valuable now, so this is one I'm glad he won't miss (unless something goes wrong in the next 5 weeks, but let's stay positive, shall we?).
All that said, my parents INSISTED on giving us money for the wedding, despite Dad's $900/month chemo treatments. My Sailor's family has to travel farther and haven't offered to help out financially, which is fine. Everyone has different finances now-a-days. As for our contribution, we refuse to pay off a wedding for years, so we're staying strictly within the budget. After clothing, and all that, it's about $3k for 60 people. That's for EVERYTHING. We're very blessed to have some friends come out of the wood works do to things Pro-Bono for us. The venue is only charging us for food and drink and giving us their entire top floor. Most of our vendors are cutting us a deal - and between Military Discounts (My Sailor is a Submariner) and some friends I have in the industry, we're lucky that most of that $3k will go to food. We've cut back from a dinner to a brunch reception - and will have a cash bar available, but will offer very limited alcohol (enough for a toast).
While our story is a bit unique, Brides on a Budget is nothing new, so I thought I'd share this idea I came up with.
To keep the costs down (and my calories pre-destination wedding dress under control) we're doing "Sip N' Snacks", giving people the chance to come to different bars/lounges/restruants on different days and meet up with other guests/wedding party/family members. Want to just socialize? Grab a soda or a glass of water from the bar and come say hi! Want to actually EAT? Order an entree! Want a drink? Go for it! Want to just taste something? Find someone to share an appetizer with! It's very informal and allows folks to come and go as they please. It takes the pressures off big time, and I'll be able to order (or not order) whatever I need (salad, etc) special w/o causing the kitchen to go into a tizzy.
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Replies
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First, I'm so sorry about your dad. But, I'm glad that his health is stable and that he'll be able to be part of your big day. As for the rehearsal dinner, I just want to affirm you in choosing what makes sense for you and won't break the bank. Weddings are ridiculously expensive, and the focus should be on what is most important to you. I think you've found a great solution for dealing with the rehearsal dinner (which honestly, if people are expecting you to feed them TWICE and are angry that you aren't, they should grow up a little.) People can opt out if they wish, but you've still provided an opportunity for folks to gather.
Do you read the blog A Practical Wedding? If you don't, I'd highly recommend it. They'd totally love your idea and support you in doing what's best for YOU!0 -
I keep hearing that blog come up. I'll have to check it out!
I'm a wedding mentor at Magical Weddings blog for out of the box Disney weddings.
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