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what am I doing wrong?

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jend114
jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
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I'm a single mom with 1 kid, I can get a babysitter for weekends (sometimes during the week) but no guy rarely lasts past 2 dates. My best friend has 2 kids and no babysitter yet has no problem finding guys. I don't know what I'm doing wrong(and if I hear its not my time, one more time I'm going to scream!)

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  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
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    well all you've told us is that you are available. That's part of what guys look for but certainly far from all. What are you doing when you are out? How are you interacting? What have your impressions been of the men? What have you thought about yourself when you go out? This information may help?
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
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    I'm usually out with girlfriends when I'm out. I smile at guys. I generally feel good about myself when I go out. I rarely get hit on.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    So if you're girlfriend has no sitter, how is she seeing these guys? Are they coming over to her house/her to theirs?
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    I dont see how anyone here can answer such a broad question. We dont know you or how you act when on a date. Why dont you ask one of your friends? They know your personality and might be able to pinpoint something. Good luck :flowerforyou:

    As David said, there's a lot more to a guy liking a girl than if she can get a sitter, or not :huh:
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
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    So if you're girlfriend has no sitter, how is she seeing these guys? Are they coming over to her house/her to theirs?

    My buddy went on a first date with a girl who brought her kid. He brought me. True story and classy all around.
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
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    I dont see how anyone here can answer such a broad question. We dont know you or how you act when on a date. Why dont you ask one of your friends? They know your personality and might be able to pinpoint something. Good luck :flowerforyou:

    As David said, there's a lot more to a guy liking a girl than if she can get a sitter, or not :huh:

    my best friend answers that its not my time yet. yet she doesn't want a relationship and has guys falling all over her. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong.
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
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    my best friend answers that its not my time yet.

    I think this would imply some sort of meaning to the universe and has a vague hint of religion to it. I completely disagree. Make it your time. It sounds like you are working to improve yourself and are comfortable in your own skin. These are the two main qualities I look for in a girl - someone who is whole and is happy with their life without some sort of void they are trying to fill with a relationship.

    Have you had any common hobbies with these dudes?
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    I dont see how anyone here can answer such a broad question. We dont know you or how you act when on a date. Why dont you ask one of your friends? They know your personality and might be able to pinpoint something. Good luck :flowerforyou:

    As David said, there's a lot more to a guy liking a girl than if she can get a sitter, or not :huh:

    my best friend answers that its not my time yet. yet she doesn't want a relationship and has guys falling all over her. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong.

    Well, maybe there is your answer, you're trying too hard? Which could come across as desperate? I dont know, just a thought :flowerforyou:
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
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    What's the opposite of TMI? TLI?

    It's impossible to answer this without having actually gone out on a date with you, to be honest. Or at least seen the video.

    For second/third dates, a lot comes down to personality and confidence. You don't seem very self-confident, but it's hard to say. Can't comment on the personality. Tough one....

    Good luck.

    --P
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    my best friend answers that its not my time yet. yet she doesn't want a relationship and has guys falling all over her. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong.

    People hate it when others say "you'll find someone when you're not looking" but I know that I have met more repeat dates since I found out I'm leaving in a couple months. I think maybe because I'm not trying to rush into a relationship, and I'm not trying to "prove my value" by "landing a man," that I'm more relaxed with a guy on a date and much less stressed/worried about the outcome.

    Totally anecdotal, but I think being more relaxed and less invested is actually making me more fun, thus resulting in a greater number of 2nd dates than when I first got started a couple months ago.
  • NCTravellingGirl
    NCTravellingGirl Posts: 717 Member
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    I do believe there is a time for everything, yet I often think nothing is changing because I'm sitting around waiting for it to. It's usually MY attitude that is leaving things the same. Without knowing more, I can't be specific, but if what you're doing isn't working... CHANGE it! It's all in the attitude!
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    I rarely get hit on.
    Met too... So one day, I decided to hit on girls (yeah I'm a man blablabla and that's easy for me yadayada).

    Anyway, you rarely go past 2 dates, so you get some at least. Maybe your friend doesn't go past 2 dates either but doesn't care...
    And yes, be casual about it all.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    What kind of guys are you choosing?

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