PCOS has colored my whoe life!
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joyis1nchrist
Posts: 13
I started my periods when I was only 10 yrs old and already sexually active (being abused but I didn't realize it then) w family members (father and both brothers) so when I skipped periods for months at a time I thought I was pregnant over and over again and when I bled for weeks at a time I thought I was miscarrying. At that young age I didn't know better and I had no one to go to for help so despite the fact that I had a total hysterectomy when I was 30, I grew up thinking I'd lost countless babies.
When I was 15 I had a period that lasted over 5 weeks and was so heavy I thought I'd die. I finally asked my mother if I could go to the doctor and she agreed. He put me on the birth control pill.
When I was 24 and married and decided I wanted children, everything began all over again. To top it all off, I was obese all my life (the doctor wanted my mother to "put that baby on a diet" and so she did.) I began dieting on my own the same year I started my periods. From age 28 to 30 I bled non-stop and went thru all sorts of fertility enhancements from Depo-Provera Shots to a laparotomy wedge resection of my ovaries.
At age 18 I started having hair growth and that year on my wedding day I had to use Nair on my face which broke it out! I was so ashamed. For most of the rest of my adult life I shaved daily, sometimes twice daily. I couldn't go camping or to a church retreat or early morning walks because I had to shave before anyone could see me. I have had 8 surgeries requiring overnight hospitalization and no matter how drugged or sick I would have the nurse bring me shaving equipment before the 7 am shift change so no one would see me unshaved ever!
I was so depressed over the hirsutism and obesity (not to mention the loss of babies and the sexual abuse shame) that I made 8 suicide attempts in my life.
When I finally turned 50 (6 years ago now) I had a change of heart all the way around. I realized I was an adult and didn't have to live in the pain and shame anymore. Along w that freedom came the body change of my facial hair turning white. At first that was upsetting because I had finally saved the $2000 for laser treatment and then because more than half my hair was white, couldn't have it! But in the end not only has it gotten white, but it has lessened considerably. I have almost no hair at all on my legs now either. Yahoo!
I did develop diabetes and of course am at a greater risk for heart disease. I am aso at greater risk for breast cancer as I was never pregnant and always obese.
On my 44th birthday I had an ultrasound because I had taken an article about PCOS and other cystic organ involvement. Thank God for the article for while the docs all say they are totally unrelated, a mass was found on my right kidney which turned out to be renal cell carcinoma. Today I only have 1 kidney but it is working great!
I rapidly lost huge amounts of weight many times in my life. The last really successful weight loss was of 255 lbs in the mid-90's. I kept it off for nearly 10 years by never eating any sugar or flour of any kind, weighing and measuring every bite I ate, going to therapy 3xs weekly and to a 12 step support group every day! My entire life revolved around recovering from my food addiction and the damage of my childhood and the struggles w the PCOS.
I could not continue to go on like that indefinately and finally one too many problems occurred in too rapid of succession and I ate. And then in 1 1/2 years gained every bit of the weight back! I gave up for a long time and then when my husband (a fellow food addict) had gastric bypass (which I strongly opposed as I thought of it as a cop-out) and lost 180 lbs, I began to research weight loss surgeries. Last Nov. 22, 2011 I had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy and coupled w the pre-surgical weight loss (very nominal) have lost just shy of 140 lbs.
I am scared that I will go crazy all over again. So I am trying something new, this place for a different and more comprehensive kind of support. On this site are fellow PCOSers and fellow food addicts and fellow Christians wanting to be fit for Christ and fellow 100+ pounders and fellow over 50s.....instead of just having friends and fellowship w one focus group, I can have many (well, if I can keep up and keep track that is! LOL)
PS My father is deceased, my one brother lives across the country and basically hasn't spoken to me for 40 years and the other brother and I had an amazing amazing healing because of our common faith and ability to forgive and be forgiven by one another. I am living around the rest of the family for the first time in nearly 40 years and wow, learning so much about myself from listening to and observing them! There was a time I couldn't handle being near them much, but today, I can truly say I am grateful.
Thanks for Reading so far, Joy
When I was 15 I had a period that lasted over 5 weeks and was so heavy I thought I'd die. I finally asked my mother if I could go to the doctor and she agreed. He put me on the birth control pill.
When I was 24 and married and decided I wanted children, everything began all over again. To top it all off, I was obese all my life (the doctor wanted my mother to "put that baby on a diet" and so she did.) I began dieting on my own the same year I started my periods. From age 28 to 30 I bled non-stop and went thru all sorts of fertility enhancements from Depo-Provera Shots to a laparotomy wedge resection of my ovaries.
At age 18 I started having hair growth and that year on my wedding day I had to use Nair on my face which broke it out! I was so ashamed. For most of the rest of my adult life I shaved daily, sometimes twice daily. I couldn't go camping or to a church retreat or early morning walks because I had to shave before anyone could see me. I have had 8 surgeries requiring overnight hospitalization and no matter how drugged or sick I would have the nurse bring me shaving equipment before the 7 am shift change so no one would see me unshaved ever!
I was so depressed over the hirsutism and obesity (not to mention the loss of babies and the sexual abuse shame) that I made 8 suicide attempts in my life.
When I finally turned 50 (6 years ago now) I had a change of heart all the way around. I realized I was an adult and didn't have to live in the pain and shame anymore. Along w that freedom came the body change of my facial hair turning white. At first that was upsetting because I had finally saved the $2000 for laser treatment and then because more than half my hair was white, couldn't have it! But in the end not only has it gotten white, but it has lessened considerably. I have almost no hair at all on my legs now either. Yahoo!
I did develop diabetes and of course am at a greater risk for heart disease. I am aso at greater risk for breast cancer as I was never pregnant and always obese.
On my 44th birthday I had an ultrasound because I had taken an article about PCOS and other cystic organ involvement. Thank God for the article for while the docs all say they are totally unrelated, a mass was found on my right kidney which turned out to be renal cell carcinoma. Today I only have 1 kidney but it is working great!
I rapidly lost huge amounts of weight many times in my life. The last really successful weight loss was of 255 lbs in the mid-90's. I kept it off for nearly 10 years by never eating any sugar or flour of any kind, weighing and measuring every bite I ate, going to therapy 3xs weekly and to a 12 step support group every day! My entire life revolved around recovering from my food addiction and the damage of my childhood and the struggles w the PCOS.
I could not continue to go on like that indefinately and finally one too many problems occurred in too rapid of succession and I ate. And then in 1 1/2 years gained every bit of the weight back! I gave up for a long time and then when my husband (a fellow food addict) had gastric bypass (which I strongly opposed as I thought of it as a cop-out) and lost 180 lbs, I began to research weight loss surgeries. Last Nov. 22, 2011 I had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy and coupled w the pre-surgical weight loss (very nominal) have lost just shy of 140 lbs.
I am scared that I will go crazy all over again. So I am trying something new, this place for a different and more comprehensive kind of support. On this site are fellow PCOSers and fellow food addicts and fellow Christians wanting to be fit for Christ and fellow 100+ pounders and fellow over 50s.....instead of just having friends and fellowship w one focus group, I can have many (well, if I can keep up and keep track that is! LOL)
PS My father is deceased, my one brother lives across the country and basically hasn't spoken to me for 40 years and the other brother and I had an amazing amazing healing because of our common faith and ability to forgive and be forgiven by one another. I am living around the rest of the family for the first time in nearly 40 years and wow, learning so much about myself from listening to and observing them! There was a time I couldn't handle being near them much, but today, I can truly say I am grateful.
Thanks for Reading so far, Joy
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what an inspiring story, filled with struggles but also hope. we have some commonalities too--i also use a 12 step program to recover from my overeating, i also have PCOS (had early menses, etc).
i am praying that when i get to goal weight, i can safely get off The Pill and be PCOS-symptom free (i've heard that weight loss can alleviate symptoms).0
