Dating Profile Review
jaxdiablo
Posts: 580
I tried to find the other post that had the dating profile review requests in it. I couldn't find it, I hate cluttering up the forum, but I'm curious. What am I doing wrong? I mean if I look like a troll or something let a dude know. lol
I get very little attention, and the attention I do get is from women who don't have much going for them. So I'm not sure if I'm missing something in my profile. I get girls who are living with friends or family, in their mid 30's or higher, who I am not attracted to, who don't want more children, and really can't hold conversations.
OkCupid | JaxRiversideGuy / 34 / M / Jacksonville, Florida
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/JaxRiversideguy
POF: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=37087259
I get very little attention, and the attention I do get is from women who don't have much going for them. So I'm not sure if I'm missing something in my profile. I get girls who are living with friends or family, in their mid 30's or higher, who I am not attracted to, who don't want more children, and really can't hold conversations.
OkCupid | JaxRiversideGuy / 34 / M / Jacksonville, Florida
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/JaxRiversideguy
POF: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=37087259
0
Replies
-
I would change the main photo to one where your hair is made up and you are more "presentable". This is your first impression. I'd also lose the picture of you eating sushi. A heavy person eating food isn't really going to attract the active girl you are hoping to land. I'd also lose the wanting family and kids stuff. There is a place for "do you want children" leave it there and talk about that sort of thing after a few dates if t you think there is long term potential. Finally, I'd rephrase the geek but not a stereotypical one to something that conveys your interests but is harder to see as being negative on yourself. The burlesque shows listed as an interest may give off the "I WANT SEX" vibe too.
I think it's going to be hard to find an active girl who likes tattoos, running, comic books, sci fi, is into career professionals and wants to have children.0 -
Read your POF profile. Sounds great to me but I love sci-fi and tattoos so I can't tell you why ppl aren't messaging you. I stopped checking my POF profile because I rarely got real genuine messages. Since you say you're not socially akward like most sci-fi geeks then my suggestion is get out and mingle!!
Meeting in person is so much better than online......i learned this after 2 failed online dating experiences. You seem like a cool guy and if you lived in Dallas I would totally go do geeky stuff with ya!!
Live long and prosper!!!
0 -
Thanks for the response. The burlesque thing is something I actually do. I run a vaudeville/burlesque troupe. I'd be ok with a girl who accepted how much of a geek I was, who was fairly active, and wanted to have kids. lol I'm good with accepting 50% LOL0
-
Its all about the pictures. Seriously. And then, its all about creating emotions when you talk to them.
When I joined my first dating site early last year, I was having no luck. But as I continued to improve my body, my luck began to change. Recently a couple of months ago (when I became single again) I joined again, and this time it was too many girls not enough time or money.
Its sad really.. I'm a great guy, even when I was heavier and didn't look as good. But people are shallow. And a lot of these women think they are far far better looking than they really are because they get hit on online all the time. So they tend to be super picky and choosy about who they talk to because they feel like they have so many choices.0 -
Its all about the pictures. Seriously. And then, its all about creating emotions when you talk to them.
When I joined my first dating site early last year, I was having no luck. But as I continued to improve my body, my luck began to change. Recently a couple of months ago (when I became single again) I joined again, and this time it was too many girls not enough time or money.
Its sad really.. I'm a great guy, even when I was heavier and didn't look as good. But people are shallow. And a lot of these women think they are far far better looking than they really are because they get hit on online all the time. So they tend to be super picky and choosy about who they talk to because they feel like they have so many choices.
Thanks for saying something a fat guy couldn't. lol0 -
I disagree in a way.............those pics are who you are. So why present yourself as something different. I am divorced and changed so much of my core being for him. It took a decade later to realize i want a man that accepts me and my quirky zoo of animals for who i am. Be yourself. There will be a geeky princess looking for her mario. I wonder though if dating sites attract geeky girls though..........all the ones i know are wrapped up in games and role playing. Infact a friend met his now wife on some world of warcraft forum lol. So keep your head up.........she's out there!!0
-
I found to be as vague as possible in my profiles. Being particular just allowed the women to cross you off moreso than it helped. Get to talk to them, create some attraction, and if she's into you, she'll pretty much accept you for who you really are.0
-
Its all about the pictures. Seriously. And then, its all about creating emotions when you talk to them.
When I joined my first dating site early last year, I was having no luck. But as I continued to improve my body, my luck began to change. Recently a couple of months ago (when I became single again) I joined again, and this time it was too many girls not enough time or money.
Its sad really.. I'm a great guy, even when I was heavier and didn't look as good. But people are shallow. And a lot of these women think they are far far better looking than they really are because they get hit on online all the time. So they tend to be super picky and choosy about who they talk to because they feel like they have so many choices.
Its a sweeping statement, even though some of the ladies will contest it.. Its still true no matter what they say hahaha!0 -
I found to be as vague as possible in my profiles. Being particular just allowed the women to cross you off moreso than it helped. Get to talk to them, create some attraction, and if she's into you, she'll pretty much accept you for who you really are.
He might actually be on to something. Here's what I do: if a guy has a fully filled out profile, like yours is OP, I read it. I do. If I see something that I think might be a potential issue, I move on. BUT if a guy sends me a message wanting to chat and get to know me, no matter how well his profile is filled out, I might be willing to give him a chance.
For instance, I recently dated a guy whose profile said: Love hanging out with family and friends. No time for games or drama. Okay, now I admit, that would not have urged me to contact him. (However, I never make the first contact if I'm really interested.) But, when he sent me a message, and we started talking, I liked him. I thought he was perfect for me... even though there may have been some things that had he included in his profile, I might have passed him up... Anyway... that didn't work out. :frown:
But it's okay. I have a date Saturday night with a man who seems to be my complete opposite. Again, if I had read a well written profile about him that told me everything, I might have passed him up. But, again, when he contacted me and we started talking, I had fun talking to him. So, I'm thinking about giving it a chance.
I'm not saying to go vague. That's up to you. My favorite profiles are the well written ones that give me a good glimpse of the guy... but my most successful dates have been with guys who may have not been quite so revealing in their profiles.0 -
Its all about the pictures. Seriously. And then, its all about creating emotions when you talk to them.
When I joined my first dating site early last year, I was having no luck. But as I continued to improve my body, my luck began to change. Recently a couple of months ago (when I became single again) I joined again, and this time it was too many girls not enough time or money.
Its sad really.. I'm a great guy, even when I was heavier and didn't look as good. But people are shallow. And a lot of these women think they are far far better looking than they really are because they get hit on online all the time. So they tend to be super picky and choosy about who they talk to because they feel like they have so many choices.
Its a sweeping statement, even though some of the ladies will contest it.. Its still true no matter what they say hahaha!
I'd find it hard to believe anyone could contest it, or that it's about women specifically. I message normal, average, and even stocky men regularly and have never had one respond. NOT ONE! I've even messaged some guys that honestly would be lucky for a girl like me to pay attention yet still don't hear back. Online dating allows EVERYONE, men and women, to treat this like shopping. So OF COURSE they want the best. I had to face that reality myself stepping out there. I've lost 70 lbs, am way more active than most, yet still don't quite look the part...like it or not, both men and women online are being super picky!
To the OP, I do think being vague helps. I had to dumb down my Match profile myself. Ironically on free sites though, I've actually added more detail to weed out some of the weirdos. I actually like your main profile pic... it shows you being active. I do think you could emphasize the vaudeville in addition to burlesque so that it doesn't come off sounding like you're looking for sex. Good Luck!0 -
As I have no experience with dating men, I can't speak to that :noway: , but I do believe it's fair to say that men are picky too. But then again, a lot of men will literally go after anything that moves. I can't waste my time talking to a woman I'm not attracted to.0
-
As I have no experience with dating men, I can't speak to that :noway: , but I do believe it's fair to say that men are picky too. But them again, a lot of men will literally go after anything that moves. I can't waste my time talking to a woman I'm not attracted to.
I'm sure there are men and women who would go after anything that moves. Clearly I'm looking in the wrong spots or need to start moving faster! :laugh:0 -
As a woman who whole-heartedly believes she is MUCH better looking than she really is, I must attest that pictures make a WORLD of difference.Its all about the pictures. Seriously. And then, its all about creating emotions when you talk to them.
When I joined my first dating site early last year, I was having no luck. But as I continued to improve my body, my luck began to change. Recently a couple of months ago (when I became single again) I joined again, and this time it was too many girls not enough time or money.
Its sad really.. I'm a great guy, even when I was heavier and didn't look as good. But people are shallow. And a lot of these women think they are far far better looking than they really are because they get hit on online all the time. So they tend to be super picky and choosy about who they talk to because they feel like they have so many choices.
Its a sweeping statement, even though some of the ladies will contest it.. Its still true no matter what they say hahaha!
There are PLENTY of fish out there. I am not wasting my time trying to figure out if I might like someone I'm not attracted initially simply because they can't write and copy-edit a profile to save their lives, but are genuinely good/interesting people. No thanks. We're ALL busy!
And yes, I definitely look for guys who have decent pictures and suit my "type". However I met my last partner on a dating site and he was the exact opposite of my "type" in most regards. At the time I reached out to him, he didn't even have a profile picture! So goes to show we aren't all shallow, all the time. Just most of the time. 0 -
Ok I am going to be unabashedly honest. I would definately change your picture because the other ones you come across completely different and that one well makes you appear more like you lean towards male companionship. As for your profile. It's ok to be a geek and women don't mind that but let them get ot know you better before you unleash that side. Remember you are trying to spark interest. I know this is not the case but you wanted the truth so you are getting it. I am not mean ask anyone, just trying to help you out from a female perspective because I would overlook you with that profile.
You could put something like what folllows. Bare with my spelling I am very dyslexic and tired:
As and active person I enjoy a variety of activities including working out, travel, reading, and spending time with friends. I am specially excited about my upcoming trip to Vegas and am still deciding on where to go after that. I have an eclectic personality that allows mixes things from tattoos too the love of science fiction.
I am looking for someone who shares my passions and who has a good sense of humor. I value friends, shared in interests, compassion, and also acknowledge the need for physical attraction. I am very pleased with my career but am wanting to expand my life with the addition of a significant other and someday a family.
If you are interested in find out more please drop me a line and answer any questios you have.
Compared to yours below....
I'm pretty active, work out regularly, run (completed the River Run 12:54 pace, and the warrior dash), travel (Vegas in May, still planning some other trips. Want to help?), tattooed (getting more, they can be covered in a long sleeve shirt and jeans, shorts and a t-shirt, not so much), read voraciously (2-3 books a week), and I enjoy spending time with my friends (local shows and bars and what not). I am also unabashedly a geek, not the stereotypical type, but I do enjoy geek stuff. Comics, video games, conventions, and sci-fi stuff. I'm not socially awkward though, so I've got that going for me.
I'd love to find someone who has a good sense of humor, caring, giving, interested in some of the things I am. I'm looking for someone who is very active and enjoys going out and doing things. I want someone who I'm attracted to, that goes without saying. There has to be some physical spark.
I'm in my career, I have been for a while, I really enjoy what I'm doing I don't see myself changing my career in the near future. I do want a family, I really want kids of my own, it's a quite important goal in my life.
If you've read through and I've generated some interest don't hesitate to contact me. I love seeing that new mail message as much as the next person.
This is mine of POF and I only joined this week and had t o turn of my notices because I was being overwhelmed:
I am the kind of girl that easily adapts to a variety of situations. Whether it’s hiking boots and camping or acocktail dress and an evening out on the town I will have fun no matter what. I am happiest when I am outside enjoying a cool breeze, listening to the sounds of nature, and sitting under a blanket of twinkling stars. I am still acclimating to life here in Kansas. It has been quite the culture shock coming from a larger Southern City to a small town in the Midwest. Being Southern I still find myself enchanted with each snowfall, the bunnies that hop around my front yard, and the howling winds that roll tumbleweeds quickly across my path. The smell of cow is something I am not sure I will ever acquire an affinity for. I am different from a lot of women out here because I was raised to be a Belle. I still believe manners and values are very important. I feel I value the things most people do like friends, family and faith. My hobbies include walking, Pilates, reading, writing, my pets, and spending time with friends. Looking at me you would never guess that I have an affinity for the harder edged rockers like Shinedown, 3 Doors Down and Staind, but you would be absolutely mistaken. Although, those are my favorites I am not opposed too much music except for mainly rap. I don’t fit easily into a box description wise so if you want to know more feel free to ask.0 -
I know this might osund sill but change your looking for to dating and rid of the having kids thing. For some reason women get spooked about meeting men online who are actively looking for a long term relationship. They like to go with the flow, date, and be friends first so they tend to stay away from men who might want to rush into things quickly.
You are a geek and its trendy for women to love geeks, in my opinion, change the two things I listed. There is a time and place to talk about those things and that time is not on a dating profile or first date. WHen you meet the right women, all those things just come into place. Humor is also important. Maybe different pics might help.
My POF profile I used last year is silly but it used to work well for me.
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=227495960 -
Yep, sublog gave what I believe are the two main things to do online:I found to be as vague as possible in my profiles. Being particular just allowed the women to cross you off moreso than it helped. Get to talk to them, create some attraction, and if she's into you, she'll pretty much accept you for who you really are.
- Be good looking: but it might mean more "put some effort in your pictures" rather than "go for cosmetic surgery until you look like a model". Basically, girls will put make up and dress well if they want to seduce, do the guy equivalent (whatever this is).
Enjoy yourself on your pictures, and be dressed as if you were going on a night out.
- Be vague: don't tell too much. People are just looking for reasons to tick you off. Also be light-hearted and put some general statements that will touch everyone's soul.0 -
Its sad really.. I'm a great guy, even when I was heavier and didn't look as good. But people are shallow. And a lot of these women think they are far far better looking than they really are because they get hit on online all the time. So they tend to be super picky and choosy about who they talk to because they feel like they have so many choices.
Given the more visual nature of guys and the more pragmatic nature of girls, I'd say men are worse! But I could be wrong, I've heard some awful stereotypical things about women lately proving they are shallow too!
Yes, very sad! Everybody wants somebody 'hot' these days! God forbid you have a personality!! :huh:0 -
Yep, sublog gave what I believe are the two main things to do online:I found to be as vague as possible in my profiles. Being particular just allowed the women to cross you off moreso than it helped. Get to talk to them, create some attraction, and if she's into you, she'll pretty much accept you for who you really are.
- Be good looking: but it might mean more "put some effort in your pictures" rather than "go for cosmetic surgery until you look like a model". Basically, girls will put make up and dress well if they want to seduce, do the guy equivalent (whatever this is).
Enjoy yourself on your pictures, and be dressed as if you were going on a night out.
- Be vague: don't tell too much. People are just looking for reasons to tick you off. Also be light-hearted and put some general statements that will touch everyone's soul.
^^^this - and SMILE! :bigsmile:0 -
No... Not online. And sorry, but girls... pragmatic?! You must be kidding.
Given the more visual nature of guys and the more pragmatic nature of girls, I'd say men are worse! But I could be wrong, I've heard some awful stereotypical things about women lately proving they are shallow too!Its sad really.. I'm a great guy, even when I was heavier and didn't look as good. But people are shallow. And a lot of these women think they are far far better looking than they really are because they get hit on online all the time. So they tend to be super picky and choosy about who they talk to because they feel like they have so many choices.
Yes, very sad! Everybody wants somebody 'hot' these days! God forbid you have a personality!! :huh:
This is true:
"a lot of these women think they are far far better looking than they really are because they get hit on online all the time. So they tend to be super picky and choosy about who they talk to because they feel like they have so many choices.".
And this is what makes dating websites the PITA they are as a man. You've got to experience it to know what I'm talking about.
Yes, men are shallow and are going for the hotties initially. But since they are failing miserably, they go for the 2nd class women... And then they just think: "oh what the heck, maybe I can at least have some sex!" and they start spamming girls. Plus you get bored as you hardly get messages back as a man.
These girls get messaged and start thinking they are - indeed - worth much more than they are. Supply and demand, innit? The supply of girls is low, so the rarity increase, their "value" increase, and they think (mechanically) that they are worth more (in the online world) than they really are (in the real world).
Which brings me to my next point: when you meet these girls, they are absolute jokes. Most of them are not even near what is shown on their pictures, are absolutely stupid, and are boring as fvck. So you just use them...
See, that's being pragmatic! :laugh:0 -
Undisclosed body type?
I'd change the headline to something more playful. LookForMoreJax followed by another "Looking For" is too much, I think. As for the pictures, I wouldn't have one up of my tattoos.
And like others have said, I do think that you're coming on a bit strong with the "kids" thing.
The fact that your profile isn't super lengthy definitely makes it more readable, but you could try and throw in a couple of other things that could possibly spark a conversation.0 -
No... Not online. And sorry, but girls... pragmatic?! You must be kidding.
Given the more visual nature of guys and the more pragmatic nature of girls, I'd say men are worse! But I could be wrong, I've heard some awful stereotypical things about women lately proving they are shallow too!Its sad really.. I'm a great guy, even when I was heavier and didn't look as good. But people are shallow. And a lot of these women think they are far far better looking than they really are because they get hit on online all the time. So they tend to be super picky and choosy about who they talk to because they feel like they have so many choices.
Yes, very sad! Everybody wants somebody 'hot' these days! God forbid you have a personality!! :huh:
This is true:
"a lot of these women think they are far far better looking than they really are because they get hit on online all the time. So they tend to be super picky and choosy about who they talk to because they feel like they have so many choices.".
And this is what makes dating websites the PITA they are as a man. You've got to experience it to know what I'm talking about.
Yes, men are shallow and are going for the hotties initially. But since they are failing miserably, they go for the 2nd class women... And then they just think: "oh what the heck, maybe I can at least have some sex!" and they start spamming girls. Plus you get bored as you hardly get messages back as a man.
These girls get messaged and start thinking they are - indeed - worth much more than they are. Supply and demand, innit? The supply of girls is low, so the rarity increase, their "value" increase, and they think (mechanically) that they are worth more (in the online world) than they really are (in the real world).
Which brings me to my next point: when you meet these girls, they are absolute jokes. Most of them are not even near what is shown on their pictures, are absolutely stupid, and are boring as fvck. So you just use them...
See, that's being pragmatic! :laugh:
I can say as a guy that I haven't lowered my standards just because the online pool is so low. I treat the online dating pool as I would any other source. I see what's out there of interest and go do whatever else I want to do if I don't see anyone who interests me. I don't think being online and women being relatively scarce is true either. I think that being online is a clear signal that the women are both single and looking. You have no idea of availability in a bar or grocery store, or anywhere else for that matter.
Being on this forum has helped me too. I no longer think that it's just me so I don't take the non-replies personally. I write messages a little differently too. I ask questions about the girls profile and show a little more of my personality rather than say hey I think we have X and Y in common would you like to talk?0 -
No... Not online. And sorry, but girls... pragmatic?! You must be kidding.
Given the more visual nature of guys and the more pragmatic nature of girls, I'd say men are worse! But I could be wrong, I've heard some awful stereotypical things about women lately proving they are shallow too!Its sad really.. I'm a great guy, even when I was heavier and didn't look as good. But people are shallow. And a lot of these women think they are far far better looking than they really are because they get hit on online all the time. So they tend to be super picky and choosy about who they talk to because they feel like they have so many choices.
Yes, very sad! Everybody wants somebody 'hot' these days! God forbid you have a personality!! :huh:
This is true:
"a lot of these women think they are far far better looking than they really are because they get hit on online all the time. So they tend to be super picky and choosy about who they talk to because they feel like they have so many choices.".
And this is what makes dating websites the PITA they are as a man. You've got to experience it to know what I'm talking about.
Yes, men are shallow and are going for the hotties initially. But since they are failing miserably, they go for the 2nd class women... And then they just think: "oh what the heck, maybe I can at least have some sex!" and they start spamming girls. Plus you get bored as you hardly get messages back as a man.
These girls get messaged and start thinking they are - indeed - worth much more than they are. Supply and demand, innit? The supply of girls is low, so the rarity increase, their "value" increase, and they think (mechanically) that they are worth more (in the online world) than they really are (in the real world).
Which brings me to my next point: when you meet these girls, they are absolute jokes. Most of them are not even near what is shown on their pictures, are absolutely stupid, and are boring as fvck. So you just use them...
See, that's being pragmatic! :laugh:
Listen Mr, you can only see it from your POV!!! From MY POV I never met so many creeps and freaks that thought they were Mr Wonderful!!
And yes, IRL, woman are far more pragmatic when it comes to finding a guy. We take far more notice of things like height (can he protect me!), personality (do we gel? does he make me laugh?), income (can he support the family when we have one?), compassion, kindness, generosity, does he kiss nicely, affection..............yada, yada!
Men look for - pretty face, big tits, good figure. End!! :laugh:0 -
I'd be ok with average face, bigguns, and average or above average figure... I'm not that picky. :-D
Men look for - pretty face, big tits, good figure. End!! :laugh:
......0
