i'm thinking about swearing "it" off for a bit

whitehandlady

i ended an 8 year relationship in december
just before my 34th birthday

i dated a little january through march

i have not been on a date since march
not because no one has asked

but because it's always such a disappointment to me

i'm an intense person
and a very frank and open person

and i'm just tired of bull****

i'm just over it

so i took a hiatus

and i've never been more at peace than i am right now


i plan to stay celibate (except when i get down and dirty with myself:bigsmile: )



for a whole year
single and celibate


i see couples doing things together and feel an occasional pang of longing
but
nothing i can't shake off


i'm learning how to be with myself and enjoy my own company


in doing so,
i am realizing how much of my SELF i compromise for others


i want to get it right this time


i have officially decided to stay alone until i find what's best for me
i just hope i can keep up my strength and resolve

sometimes i feel like i just don't "belong" with anyone.........but hell

it's better to be lonely by yourself than lonely with someone else

Prahasaurus

I wouldn't set any deadlines ("for a whole year"), but sure, don't jump back into a relationship just because. Take your time by all means. Hardly radical. Just common sense.

Good luck.

--P

AnnaPixie

Yeah, I'm doing the same, unless I meet someone in passing. I dont believe you should close doors, just rather, leave them ajar!


Good luck :flowerforyou:

Laura_Suzie

Just wait. The beginning of this year I was like, "I'm not going to date. I'm just going to focus on my career. Forget guys!" haha Little did I know that I would be come popular with the guys, but the career would go downhill... well for now anyway... haha I've found that once you start focusing on loving yourself, you attract good things your way. So don't give up, just yet! But by all means, do what makes you happy. That's my motto.

SouthernSweetie74

Sometimes it's good to take a break. It's definitely good to take care of YOU for a while, especially when you've recently ended a long relationship.

But be careful... seems like every time I "swear off men" they multiply in my life!

SouthernSweetie74

sometimes i feel like i just don't "belong" with anyone........

I know that feeling all too well...

shammxo

You're gonna be fine. Focus on yourself for now and if you don't feel ready, then don't date... It's never a good idea to do ANYTHING that you don't feel emotionally ready for. But don't get into the mindset that it isn't going to happen for you & write it off completely. If something comes along and it seems right, maybe you will change your mind.

MaraDiaz

It's been 3 years. I just got so disgusted, and then I got super fat instead of just fat, and was disgusted with me, and honestly, I figured I was done for good. If someone had told me in my 20s that I'd be going without for 3 years in my 30s, I would have shot myself first. Now it's just not as big of a deal.

When I feel like going out and getting some badly enough, I will, though. Probably with no strings attached. I'm not the old me anymore, and I figure if I can do without this long, I can also do it like men do it, and walk away. It wasn't the sex I got sick of, it was the BS that went along with it.

pa_jorg

I'm amazed that you were able to start dating within a month of ending something long term, do you think perhaps you were still in a state of shock? Take your time, there is no rush to see what's out there.

kerrymh

Great for you if you are enjoying it.

Personally I've been in a non self imposed celibate state for over a year and a half and I'd be very happy for it to end any time soon. I want to know what it feels like to be a couple I bore myself lol.

r1ghtpath

i am consciously NOT looking for dates. yes, i would love to meet someone, but i'm done looking and doing the dating dance and show.

so, if something happens then it happens, but i'm not looking nor encouraging it!

GoalByFifty

After a very difficult breakup, and learning a lot of very disturbing things, I too have taken a hiatus from the madness - and have become more comfortable within my own skin. I would invite a healthy relationship but will not settle for just anyone or anything .... and it must be based on trust, respect, and commitment. Hang in there everyone, it definitely gets better!!

whitehandlady

I'm amazed that you were able to start dating within a month of ending something long term, do you think perhaps you were still in a state of shock? Take your time, there is no rush to see what's out there.

hon, it was over looooooong before it was over

whitehandlady

i am consciously NOT looking for dates. yes, i would love to meet someone, but i'm done looking and doing the dating dance and show.

so, if something happens then it happens, but i'm not looking nor encouraging it!

this is very basically what i was getting at ......that for a yr i will not pursue anything....now if it comes my way.....we shall see......but i'm still not givin' up the goods.....i mean that......bc i have a kajillion male friends who tell me that's my pitfall.....i sex 'em up too soon......i have a RAVENOUS sex drive (true story....lol)