MM's 10 Things NOT to talk about on a first date
JanieJack
Posts: 3,831 Member
So my new temporary place has cable... with a DVR....I've become addicted to dating and matchmaking shows...just did a run of Millionaire Matchmaker shows while I iced my pulled hamstring. Here's Patti's top 10 things not to talk about on a first date. OOPS! I have done several of these myself!!
1. Your Exes
Nobody wants to hear about who came before them in a potential relationship. Keep the ex talk to a solid zero. Ex talk just makes a person feel compared to people that shouldn't matter anymore.
2. Your Experiences Online
Keep the business of dating to yourself. Do not discuss your experiences dating online, in services, with matchmakers, etc. This keeps the business of love out of the business of love. It's tempting, but don't do it! By talking about each other's experiences dating online, you become friends comparing notes—not blossoming lovers.
3. Your Health Issues
No one wants to hear about your aches and pains on a first date (or even a second, third or fourth date). These are private matters reserved for significant others who are already in love. Don't scare off a potential mate just because your feet hurt.
4. Money
Financial issues or pluses are private. Keep them to yourself. Talking about what you have (or don't have) can lead you wide open for embarrassment...or judgment.
5. Your Pets
I'm sorry, but talking about Fefe's "cute little face" or Sheba's need to claw at the drapes is of no interest to anyone but you. Accept it.
6. Religion
It's true...talk of religion usually leads to antagonizing each other. Basic religious values are fine to chat about, but digging any deeper can ruin potential. Have beliefs you share, but oversharing too soon can scare someone away.
7. Politics
Same as religion—'nuff said.
8. Business
Like money, talk of business can lead to a business deal—not a love deal.
9. Your Kids
If you have them, talk about them...but not too much. If your entire conversation revolves around your children, your potential mate will feel left out before he's even in.
10. Criticism of Your Date
The last thing you want to do on a first date is pick apart the person who's taking you out. Keep that commentary to yourself and zip it! You want them critiquing you?
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/The-Millionaire-Matchmakers-First-Date-Donts#ixzz20XDEJpSt
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Replies
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I get some of these but if you throw all of them out or things that touch the edges of them then what the heck do you talk about?
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So my new temporary place has cable... with a DVR....I've become addicted to dating and matchmaking shows...just did a run of Millionaire Matchmaker shows while I iced my pulled hamstring. Here's Patti's top 10 things not to talk about on a first date. OOPS! I have done several of these myself!!1. Your Exes
Nobody wants to hear about who came before them in a potential relationship. Keep the ex talk to a solid zero. Ex talk just makes a person feel compared to people that shouldn't matter anymore.
2. Your Experiences Online
Keep the business of dating to yourself. Do not discuss your experiences dating online, in services, with matchmakers, etc. This keeps the business of love out of the business of love. It's tempting, but don't do it! By talking about each other's experiences dating online, you become friends comparing notes—not blossoming lovers.
3. Your Health Issues
No one wants to hear about your aches and pains on a first date (or even a second, third or fourth date). These are private matters reserved for significant others who are already in love. Don't scare off a potential mate just because your feet hurt.
4. Money
Financial issues or pluses are private. Keep them to yourself. Talking about what you have (or don't have) can lead you wide open for embarrassment...or judgment.
5. Your Pets
I'm sorry, but talking about Fefe's "cute little face" or Sheba's need to claw at the drapes is of no interest to anyone but you. Accept it.
6. Religion
It's true...talk of religion usually leads to antagonizing each other. Basic religious values are fine to chat about, but digging any deeper can ruin potential. Have beliefs you share, but oversharing too soon can scare someone away.
7. Politics
Same as religion—'nuff said.
8. Business
Like money, talk of business can lead to a business deal—not a love deal.
9. Your Kids
If you have them, talk about them...but not too much. If your entire conversation revolves around your children, your potential mate will feel left out before he's even in.
10. Criticism of Your Date
The last thing you want to do on a first date is pick apart the person who's taking you out. Keep that commentary to yourself and zip it! You want them critiquing you?
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/The-Millionaire-Matchmakers-First-Date-Donts#ixzz20XDEJpSt
I would agree with all 10. #2 is a key friend zone trap (and not just limited to dating online). You don't want to compare notes either, you make to make notes and weave a story together. Talk about money is never a good thing.
The right idea should be to keep the conversation about fun things that showcase your personality well. If two people are talking about pleasant things, the mood is good and can set up a first kiss.0 -
I get some of these but if you throw all of them out or things that touch the edges of them then what the heck do you talk about?
I didn't see sports on that list!!0 -
I'm breaking the politics one. If I ever wake up and honey has turned the channel to Fox news, he's getting booted out of bed, and out of my life.0
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I disagree with the one about pets. I think it's fine to talk about pets, as long as that is not all you are talking about. I really don't see how that could be a bad thing?0
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So my new temporary place has cable... with a DVR....I've become addicted to dating and matchmaking shows...just did a run of Millionaire Matchmaker shows while I iced my pulled hamstring. Here's Patti's top 10 things not to talk about on a first date. OOPS! I have done several of these myself!!1. Your Exes
Nobody wants to hear about who came before them in a potential relationship. Keep the ex talk to a solid zero. Ex talk just makes a person feel compared to people that shouldn't matter anymore.
2. Your Experiences Online
Keep the business of dating to yourself. Do not discuss your experiences dating online, in services, with matchmakers, etc. This keeps the business of love out of the business of love. It's tempting, but don't do it! By talking about each other's experiences dating online, you become friends comparing notes—not blossoming lovers.
3. Your Health Issues
No one wants to hear about your aches and pains on a first date (or even a second, third or fourth date). These are private matters reserved for significant others who are already in love. Don't scare off a potential mate just because your feet hurt.
4. Money
Financial issues or pluses are private. Keep them to yourself. Talking about what you have (or don't have) can lead you wide open for embarrassment...or judgment.
5. Your Pets
I'm sorry, but talking about Fefe's "cute little face" or Sheba's need to claw at the drapes is of no interest to anyone but you. Accept it.
6. Religion
It's true...talk of religion usually leads to antagonizing each other. Basic religious values are fine to chat about, but digging any deeper can ruin potential. Have beliefs you share, but oversharing too soon can scare someone away.
7. Politics
Same as religion—'nuff said.
8. Business
Like money, talk of business can lead to a business deal—not a love deal.
9. Your Kids
If you have them, talk about them...but not too much. If your entire conversation revolves around your children, your potential mate will feel left out before he's even in.
10. Criticism of Your Date
The last thing you want to do on a first date is pick apart the person who's taking you out. Keep that commentary to yourself and zip it! You want them critiquing you?
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/The-Millionaire-Matchmakers-First-Date-Donts#ixzz20XDEJpSt
I agree with this list but its missing the most important thing that people struggle with now days. Its the phone issue, so many people can give up texting for an hour to see if there is a connection. I see this everyday. If I went on a date and she was on her phone at the bill and leave her at the restaurant, even if she didnt have a ride back. Its disrespectful and rude to be on your phone during a date. No one wants to be out with someone who just to watch them text all night. People, put your phone down and live your real life and enjoy being out with someone.0 -
I agree with this list but its missing the most important thing that people struggle with now days. Its the phone issue, so many people can give up texting for an hour to see if there is a connection. I see this everyday. If I went on a date and she was on her phone at the bill and leave her at the restaurant, even if she didnt have a ride back. Its disrespectful and rude to be on your phone during a date. No one wants to be out with someone who just to watch them text all night. People, put your phone down and live your real life and enjoy being out with someone.
Yes!!!!
In the early stages of dating, two people are feeling each other out. There needs to be time spent together in the moment, to learn if a connection there. Texting others during a date doesn't enhance the connection.0 -
I agree with this list but its missing the most important thing that people struggle with now days. Its the phone issue, so many people can give up texting for an hour to see if there is a connection. I see this everyday. If I went on a date and she was on her phone at the bill and leave her at the restaurant, even if she didnt have a ride back. Its disrespectful and rude to be on your phone during a date. No one wants to be out with someone who just to watch them text all night. People, put your phone down and live your real life and enjoy being out with someone.
Yes!!!!
In the early stages of dating, two people are feeling each other out. There needs to be time spent together in the moment, to learn if a connection there. Texting others during a date doesn't enhance the connection.
I wholeheartedly agree, however.... as a mother, I check my phone every so often to make sure I haven't missed a call or text from my girls. If they call, I answer. I would never just sit and chat to a friend or relative when I'm out... but my kids... different story.0 -
I get some of these but if you throw all of them out or things that touch the edges of them then what the heck do you talk about?
I didn't see sports on that list!!
Well of course! I need to know if you're a Steelers fan up front. No sense getting a 2nd date if you can't hang during football season LOL!!!0 -
I agree with this list but its missing the most important thing that people struggle with now days. Its the phone issue, so many people can give up texting for an hour to see if there is a connection. I see this everyday. If I went on a date and she was on her phone at the bill and leave her at the restaurant, even if she didnt have a ride back. Its disrespectful and rude to be on your phone during a date. No one wants to be out with someone who just to watch them text all night. People, put your phone down and live your real life and enjoy being out with someone.
Amen! I went out with a guy a couple of months ago that could not get off his phone! We could barely have a conversation because he was always on it. :mad: Needless to say, we didn't last long.
EDIT: * I do agree that us single parents need to keep our phones handy so our kids can get in touch with us. But that doesn't mean we are on the phones the whole time. It's just RUDE.0 -
My date tonight talked about 1,3, 4, and 9. :laugh:0
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I'm breaking the politics one. If I ever wake up and honey has turned the channel to Fox news, he's getting booted out of bed, and out of my life.
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eff it dude, i bare it all the first time around and i like and expect the same....i don't wanna know your persona....i want to know you
furthermore.....i hate when i think i like someone....then later we bring up the "taboo" issues and then have to go separate ways
damn waste of time really :laugh:0 -
(this comment came from a non-member....so i will honor him by introducing a as-before-unmentioned rule....maybe even the golden rule)
# don't ask for anal :bigsmile:0 -
worst.advice.ever.(this comment came from a non-member....so i will honor him by introducing a as-before-unmentioned rule....maybe even the golden rule)
# don't ask for anal :bigsmile:0 -
worst.advice.ever.(this comment came from a non-member....so i will honor him by introducing a as-before-unmentioned rule....maybe even the golden rule)
# don't ask for anal :bigsmile:
well speak of the devil ....if it ain't mr. golden rule himself.....:bigsmile: ..*hugs* heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....how YOU doin:drinker:0 -
worst.advice.ever.(this comment came from a non-member....so i will honor him by introducing a as-before-unmentioned rule....maybe even the golden rule)
# don't ask for anal :bigsmile:
OMG -- I love you! ROFL! Only ask on the SECOND date!0 -
eff it dude, i bare it all the first time around and i like and expect the same....i don't wanna know your persona....i want to know you
furthermore.....i hate when i think i like someone....then later we bring up the "taboo" issues and then have to go separate ways
damn waste of time really :laugh:
I might not spill my guts upon sitting down at the table, but I'm a pretty honest person, if he asks a question, I'm likely to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. With a sketched timeline if requested. An amazingly underrated quality in a date!
So guys, if you don't want to know, don't ask!0 -
I find #5 pets to be a nice topic and icebreaker. Plus, for a dog owner like myself, if a guy doesn't dig pups it's a deal breaker. That said, it can't control the conversation.
I agree with DM that #2 leads to friend zone. But it's also a good thing to mention if that's where you know things are heading.0 -
I find #5 pets to be a nice topic and icebreaker. Plus, for a dog owner like myself, if a guy doesn't dig pups it's a deal breaker. That said, it can't control the conversation.
I agree with DM that #2 leads to friend zone. But it's also a good thing to mention if that's where you know things are heading.
The author of the original list probably would say that it is okay to mention pets in passing. Pet ownership is a really good initial pre-screening type question, but it is so difficult to get every important pre-screening question asked in your first in person meeting. There's a lot of potential for incompatibilities between two people based on pet ownership.0
