Overweight PreTeen

Kristy713ckm

My son is 11 and overweight. He says he doesn't want to be overweight. But the idea of resisting food seems too much. I work 4 am to midnight, so I go to bed around 7:30 p.m. Between 7:30 and mid-night, my son eat's alot. We homeschool, so going to bed early, isn't a requirement. We have a 2 year old who makes things chaotic and when she's put down to bed, my son needs "time to unwind". I've read horrible, mean statements that allowing your child to be overweight is child abuse, and people can be pretty darn MEAN. I wanted to talk to other parents who are finding ways to help and encourage their children into healthy physical and mental perceptions of food & exercise.

I try not to allow "junk food" in the house. But I bought goldfish crackers for my 2 year old. The bag was nearly empty this morning. I'm sure he'll tell me the 2 year old ate most of it, or maybe the dogs. But I feel overwhelmed, lost for idea's, and like a failure as a mother. Any other parents (moms/dads) relate?

Bola17

I read those discussion boards and just starting this topic shows that you have more understanding than any of the people naming child abuse, as it is easier to have an opinion if they are not in the situation personally!!

Of course I do feel it is our responsibility to make sure our children eat heathy and you are taking the first step!! I also have 2 pre-teens (9½ and 12) who are both on the chubby side. Plus I have a 17 year old (he is definitly NOT) and a 22 year old who is very overweight - he lives on his own. For many years I had controlled his eating keeping him at "chubby". But he is unfortunatly working as a baker on night shift now and lives his own life!
As for the other kids - I can only keep trying. One of my main reasons for joining MFP is to be a inspiration for them! And obviously keeping track on what they eat is not a sure way. We are trying to be more active and this really seems to be helping. Although all of my kids do sports - soccer, swimming, horseback riding, handball among other things. But they also enjoy tv and computer which we´re trying to limit.
My husband is very thin and eats way too many snacks and stuff - but he also plays soccer and works physically (carpenter - up and down ladders all day He has no understanding of how it is to be overweight and often makes comments about "fat" people if we see them running by - like "she should run more!". I have been at him to shut up as I find comments like that might demotivate my kids and then he gets at me like it´s my fault as my whole family are generally on the large side. I´m probably the smallest - but now there´s a reason for that - I WORK ON IT!!!

Please feel free to friend me! I´d love to have support/give support on this mission.

Kristy713ckm

Wow: How exciting to have nine members in the first day.... I've never opened a BOARD. But I couldn't find anywhere for support and to give & get ideas. I hope to see some posts, questions, encouragement and suggestions!

projectxreborn

I also have an overweight preteen and it is absolutely breaking my heart. I see how badly he feels just like I did when I was his
age and I know if we don't do something about it now it is only going to get much worse. I am trying so hard to encourage him,
to make healthier meals and have even signed him up for a membership at the gym and sessions with a trainer (I want him to
work out safely). He wants to be at a healthier weight...and yet fights me at each step of the way. I am so tired of the drama...but
what is the alternative? I love my son so much, as I know everyone else does, but I find myself losing ground. He wants help yet
he resists it....I also am in new territory because four months ago he was injured very badly in a sledding accident - he had taken off
from his group and wanted to be the first down the hill, they had not even finished unpacking the car yet and he was already hurt. I regret every day that I had allowed him to go.
He had hit a tree and ended up being rushed to a bigger hospital an hour and a half away by ambulance. He had bleeding in the brain and shattered his skull on his right side...and the pressure was constantly building. He was taken in for brain
surgery the next morning where they had to remove part of his skull to let his brain swell as much as it needed to...we did not know if he was going to make it for days...he was in a coma on life support....the most horrible thing I have ever had to go through in my life...none of the doctors expected him to live (we didn't know that till it was over). We were devastated. The only thing that brought us through was God. He performed a miracle in my son...he was restored to complete recovery, walking, talking, and fully alert. We had been at the point at his bedside where we were trying to prepare ourselves to let him go, and then God in His mercy, healed him. And now, there are some residual effects...nothing compared to what it was, but with his injury he gets angry
much more quickly, his emotions are all over the place and he does not understand consequences like he should. His reasoning
has become a bit impaired. The part of his brain that was injured deals with all of these things. So....I want to help him get healthy and this is what we are facing, along with all the oncoming hormones. I would say he is 95% back to himself but these
obstacles directly effect his health. BUT as parents, no matter what our kids are going through, we need to be there for them in giving them healthy food/exercise...and I am so glad this group has started. It is an answer to prayer.
Just one thing I wanted to say...when you are frustrated with your kid with sneaking food, resisting...just think how things can change in the blink of an eye...the day my son was hurt began just like any other day....we had no idea we would be in another city for almost a month, living in a hospital, basically. So, hug your kids as much as you can (as much as they will let you! LOL)
and we can all support eachother in our efforts to help our precious, precious kids.

Tiggertails1975

i HAVE A 16 YEAR OLD SON WITH AN AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER THAT i AM TRYING TO TEACH HEALTHY EATING HABITS TO AS I LEARN MYSELF. i HAD BEEN HOME SCHOOLED ALL THE WAY THROUGH EVEN COLLAGE I DID ON LINE SO THAT I COULD BE WITH MY SON. i AM FINDING THAT I AM HAVING TO BE VERY CREATIVE. INSTEAD OF SITTING DOWN ON THE COUCH TO WATCH TV WITH MY SON I MOVED MY CHAIR RO THE GARAGE AND NOW HAVE MY STATIONARY BIKE IN ITS PLACE. IF I WANT TO WATCH TV, I HAVE TO BE PEDDLING. MY ACTIONS AND RESULTS ON THIS WILL DETERMINE IF MY SON THINKS THIS CHANGE IN EATING IM ASKING HIM TO TRY IS WORTH IT TO HIM.i STAY WITHIN MY CALORIE LIMITS AND HAVE LOST 17 LBS BEFORE I EVEN FOUND THIS WEB SITE TODAY. MY SON HAS FATTY LIVER DISEASE, ASTHMA, SLEEP APNEA.... MY SONS LIFE DEPENDS ON MY OUTCOMES AT THIS POINT!

Bola17

Just one thing I wanted to say...when you are frustrated with your kid with sneaking food, resisting...just think how things can change in the blink of an eye...the day my son was hurt began just like any other day....we had no idea we would be in another city for almost a month, living in a hospital, basically. So, hug your kids as much as you can (as much as they will let you! LOL)
and we can all support eachother in our efforts to help our precious, precious kids.

SO true!!

There are some things in your life that make it change and even though these things are so hard to get thru - you have done what you could. So weight loss should be a breeze beside of this. I´m so happy that you still have your son and you CAN and WILL make a difference for him!

My life changing experience has been my 12 year old getting an Asperger diagnosis in January. This changed our life! And although the past few years have been very hard with him suffering from anxiety and being out of school for over a year - I ended up on sick leave because of the stress. But we are also on the other side. And thankful for every day. It´s "only" autism! (I´m not saying this to be judging anyone - very hard to live with and to see him but compared to my girlfriend who is termanally ill with cancer of the liver and it has been 1½ year since the Dr. said they couldn´t do more.... Yeah - we have our son!)

projectxreborn

I just wanted to say you sound like amazing moms...strong, loving, and "there" for your kids. Awesome.

Kristy713ckm

Wow. These are incredible stories. Heartfelt. And in many ways simliar. THANKS so much for sharing your stories.

braggsalot

This is my first post in here and I am really struggling with my DD's weight. She is 7 years old, 54.5 inches and just weighed in at 102.2 pounds yesterday. I took her to an Endocrinologist to see what is going on and there were no answers. I don't understand why she is gaining weight at the rate she is gaining. Her bone age showed she was two years advanced so if she continues to gain the way she is, she will hit puberty early and stop growing earlier than she should. Her cholesterol is high and her sugar levels were normal. Blood pressure is fine. She is very muscular but she is too big. I bought her plus size jeans and they are snug on her and last year they were too big but regulars were too snug.

She swims 5 hours a week at least with the swim team and she rides her bike a couple times a week and plays with her friends outside. She eats around 1700 calories a day and this is what the Nutritionist recommended. I am not sure if that is high or not. Snacks are yogurt, cheese stick, fresh fruit or vegetables. Water and milk are her only drink options unless we go out than she gets chocolate milk.

She loves to eat and doesn't ever seem to be satisfied.

I am scared of what her future holds too.

Kristy713ckm

Thanks for sharing "braggsalot". My child is more sedentary. I found a website that recommended 1400 calories a day for sedentary. I'm guessing my son gets closer to 2000 calories a day, on average.

It sounds like you're doing everything you know. Seeing doctors, healthy activity levels, blood work.... Anyone else have ideas?

I feel guilty & overwhelmed at my son's weight gain & problems. Sometimes, he seems to care. Other times, he rebukes and hates my encouraging him not to snack before dinner, to make wiser food choices, or use a bowl for quantity so you don't eat straight out of the box or bag. I try to only bring in "healthy foods", but a hungry child can binge/over-eat on "cereal" or "saltines".

I hope this board continues to grow, offer support and encouragement to each others....

Sincerely - KRISTY in Dayton Ohio.

Bola17

This is my first post in here and I am really struggling with my DD's weight. She is 7 years old, 54.5 inches and just weighed in at 102.2 pounds yesterday. I took her to an Endocrinologist to see what is going on and there were no answers. I don't understand why she is gaining weight at the rate she is gaining. Her bone age showed she was two years advanced so if she continues to gain the way she is, she will hit puberty early and stop growing earlier than she should. Her cholesterol is high and her sugar levels were normal. Blood pressure is fine. She is very muscular but she is too big. I bought her plus size jeans and they are snug on her and last year they were too big but regulars were too snug.

She swims 5 hours a week at least with the swim team and she rides her bike a couple times a week and plays with her friends outside. She eats around 1700 calories a day and this is what the Nutritionist recommended. I am not sure if that is high or not. Snacks are yogurt, cheese stick, fresh fruit or vegetables. Water and milk are her only drink options unless we go out than she gets chocolate milk.

She loves to eat and doesn't ever seem to be satisfied.

I am scared of what her future holds too.

I really understand you! I was just converting and my daughter is 9 (almost 10) She´s 55.5 inches and 94 lbs, so I can really see how you´re worried. I don´t know how many cal. she eats as we do more to get her to exercise than focus on an actual diet.

My son on the other hand is 12 and is counting his cal. He had gained alot of weight last year because of medicins and of being "confined" at home for a year because of probs. with anxiety. He´s eating max. 1500 cal. per day. Only whole wheat bread, limited sugar and low fat. (he´s also a picky eater and doesn´t eat many veggies, but of course I but all the cucumbers he can eat and he likes some fruits). We walk/bike 30 min. per day and he has lost 6.6 lbs since we started in May. I´m so proud of the hard work he has done! He has also taken such an interest in helping prepare meals and I´m sure this is helping him - knowing which foods he can choose and still be healthy.

Please feel free to send a friend request if you´d like. It´s so nice to have others in the same situation