Cool Girl or Disrespecting Self?

JanieJack

I posted this in another thread:

his coworker (very drunk) comes in with her husband and friends. She and her husband sit with us for a bit, but when he goes back to their group table she becomes the sole object of my friend’s attention. I figured she’s married so he’s not “going after her” and decided to allow him a few minutes of “drool over the hot 25yr old” time.

Someone was surprised that I would write this about allowing “drool time.” I feel more than “a few minutes” of appreciation is taking it too far… but at the same time I think it’s pointless to try and pretend that guys don’t appreciate the beauty of someone hot. What do you think?

christine24t

I think it's fine to give them a few glances. Men are attracted to hot women and they're going to stare. At least other women acknowledging that is good. There's always gonna be someone hotter than you - and as long as he doesn't do more than look its fine.

Steelheart7

See .. this is always a bone of contention with me. I think if a person is on a date with me, he shouldn't be checking out other women!! It is hurtful and rude. I know men all think, and some ladies, .. oh its harmless, I am going home with you. I don't think it is harmless. It makes me feel things I don't like. There are plenty of times throughout the day for men to ogle other women .. he doesn't need to do it when he is on a date with me!

AnnaPixie

If a guy is drooling over another girl in my presence, we are just friends.

Unacceptable and thoughtless behaviour from a date or b/f or spouse.

I'm not certain what this guy was/is to you though, so its a bit of a grey area :flowerforyou:

AnnaPixie

See .. this is always a bone of contention with me. I think if a person is on a date with me, he shouldn't be checking out other women!! It is hurtful and rude. I know men all think, and some ladies, .. oh its harmless, I am going home with you. I don't think it is harmless. It makes me feel things I don't like. There are plenty of times throughout the day for men to ogle other women .. he doesn't need to do it when he is on a date with me!

for sure :flowerforyou:

Steelheart7

See .. this is always a bone of contention with me. I think if a person is on a date with me, he shouldn't be checking out other women!! It is hurtful and rude. I know men all think, and some ladies, .. oh its harmless, I am going home with you. I don't think it is harmless. It makes me feel things I don't like. There are plenty of times throughout the day for men to ogle other women .. he doesn't need to do it when he is on a date with me!

for sure :flowerforyou:

I love you Anna!! lol

kerrymh

I think if it was an established relationship..and just a "notice" not a obvious staring at the boob thing..I wouldn't mind since I'm sure I'll "notice" other men. But when its a beginning just starting to date thing..so not cool.

Daisy_Cutter

If a guy is drooling over another girl in my presence, we are just friends.

Unacceptable and thoughtless behaviour from a date or b/f or spouse.

I'm not certain what this guy was/is to you though, so its a bit of a grey area :flowerforyou:

What if we're at a movie and a preview for a new Gerard Butler flick comes on? I mean... I can't help but drool over this man... it's uncontrollable . Always.... just. can't. help. myself. LOL




Actually, I agree... drool should be abandoned during all dates!

oddyogi

Wait, he was on a date with you or he's just your friend? If it was a date, that would bother me.

Yeah I don't care if my bf/partner/spouse whatever checks women out, but at least try to restrict it to when I'm not looking. Lol.

Rubie81

See .. this is always a bone of contention with me. I think if a person is on a date with me, he shouldn't be checking out other women!! It is hurtful and rude. I know men all think, and some ladies, .. oh its harmless, I am going home with you. I don't think it is harmless. It makes me feel things I don't like. There are plenty of times throughout the day for men to ogle other women .. he doesn't need to do it when he is on a date with me!

Agree.
My ex-husband use to do this ALL the time. At first I complained and eventually just kinda shrugged it off to, that's the type of guy he is. But it is disrespecful. I'm not talking about a glance, but those openly suggestive looks, or the looking behind their shoulder to check out their assests? C'mon now. Meanwhile, I looked 20x better than most of the women he was checking out.

AnnaPixie

If a guy is drooling over another girl in my presence, we are just friends.

Unacceptable and thoughtless behaviour from a date or b/f or spouse.

I'm not certain what this guy was/is to you though, so its a bit of a grey area :flowerforyou:

What if we're at a movie and a preview for a new Gerard Butler flick comes on? I mean... I can't help but drool over this man... it's uncontrollable . Always.... just. can't. help. myself. LOL




Actually, I agree... drool should be abandoned during all dates!

Oh, I agree Shells, GB drooling is always acceptable :smooched: :bigsmile:



Actually, s'lebs don't count.....unless they are in the same room!!

autumnk921

See .. this is always a bone of contention with me. I think if a person is on a date with me, he shouldn't be checking out other women!! It is hurtful and rude. I know men all think, and some ladies, .. oh its harmless, I am going home with you. I don't think it is harmless. It makes me feel things I don't like. There are plenty of times throughout the day for men to ogle other women .. he doesn't need to do it when he is on a date with me!

Agree.
My ex-husband use to do this ALL the time. At first I complained and eventually just kinda shrugged it off to, that's the type of guy he is. But it is disrespecful. I'm not talking about a glance, but those openly suggestive looks, or the looking behind their shoulder to check out their assests? C'mon now. Meanwhile, I looked 20x better than most of the women he was checking out.

I agree with both of these!!! Of course guys are going to look and so are we, it's in our nature but making it obvious is not cool...IMHO.

AllanMisner

Obvious ogeling is clearly disrespectful if either of the parties involved are in a relationship. But I also think it is healthy to acknowledge to your SO that you find certain people attractive. Open and honest communication is the key to real respect.