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Picking a Maid of Honor

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TheNewBlair
TheNewBlair Posts: 41
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Is anyone else having difficulty picking out their Maid of Honor, I know who is going to be my bridesmaids, but I can't decide between my 16 year old sister (whom I raised for many years when she was younger), or my very best friend... whom I was considered to be a lesbian with because we are so close and always together... lol help! how did you decided, and who did you decide?

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  • kirstenmaria
    kirstenmaria Posts: 112 Member
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    I chose my sister. I'm the oldest, and she's the middle sister in our family. She's only 20 right now, and even though we are not always as close as friends may be with me, I know that as we get older she will always be close. I asked my sister if she would do it, and she said yes. Had she not said yes, I would have explained the responsibilities to my youngest sister (age 15), and given her the opportunity to say yes or no.

    It was much easier for my best friend to understand my choice than it would have been for my family to understand why I was not asking my sisters first.

    I recommend thinking about the type of bachelorette party you want to have, and speaking with whoever you choose so that the other is not left out.
  • TheNewBlair
    TheNewBlair Posts: 41
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    It was much easier for my best friend to understand my choice than it would have been for my family to understand why I was not asking my sisters first.



    I never thought about that! thanks for your input!
  • droogievesch
    droogievesch Posts: 202
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    Is anyone else having difficulty picking out their Maid of Honor, I know who is going to be my bridesmaids, but I can't decide between my 16 year old sister (whom I raised for many years when she was younger), or my very best friend... whom I was considered to be a lesbian with because we are so close and always together... lol help! how did you decided, and who did you decide?

    In my state you need to be 18 to sign a marriage license as a "witness". Since I view the best man/maid of honor as being our legal witnesses, I made sure mine was over 18.

    I chose one of my friends over my future sister-in-law because it's my wedding and I want somebody who will stand by me and keep me sane when all I want to do is freak out. I need somebody who knows my quirks and is up for a hard challenge :) If his family has anything to say about who I chose to be my maid of honor they can keep their mouths closed. It's Maid (or Matron) of HONOR not of OBLIGATION.
  • zellagrrl
    zellagrrl Posts: 439
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    My sister is MOH in name only (not that it really matters). We don't talk, we're not close and we live across the country from one another. My best friend has been acting as MOH and knows how it is with family :)

    Also, the only duties I expected from them was to show up clothed on the day of (they're both wearing different LBDs, but literally-- come clothed was my only requirement). Bachelorette was a totally optional thing that best friend wanted to do, and I thought it was crazy sweet of her, but that's it.
  • kirstenmaria
    kirstenmaria Posts: 112 Member
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    I understand about the family stuff. We're taking a very traditional route, and my parents are paying for the wedding. If I were paying for the wedding myself, perhaps I would mind so much what opinions my parents have. I know there will be battles to fight in the future, and I'm carefully choosing to avoid conflict on certain topics.
  • droogievesch
    droogievesch Posts: 202
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    I understand about the family stuff. We're taking a very traditional route, and my parents are paying for the wedding. If I were paying for the wedding myself, perhaps I would mind so much what opinions my parents have. I know there will be battles to fight in the future, and I'm carefully choosing to avoid conflict on certain topics.

    That definitely makes a difference. When we got engaged my fiance and I sat down with both sets of parents and pretty much said, "you have no vote in our wedding unless you're paying for it. Opinions are welcomed when asked, but we aren't obligated to listen."

    It worked for the most part until my fiance heard his dad telling everyone that -he- was paying for all of it. It really bothered my fiance a lot since we're both working two jobs to be able to do this on our own.
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
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    Is anyone else having difficulty picking out their Maid of Honor, I know who is going to be my bridesmaids, but I can't decide between my 16 year old sister (whom I raised for many years when she was younger), or my very best friend... whom I was considered to be a lesbian with because we are so close and always together... lol help! how did you decided, and who did you decide?

    I was having a difficult time also. I have a sister that is 6 years older than me. We weren't close as I was growing up but we have become VERY close as we are older. I also have a best friend that I have known practically since the day I was born. My sister is married and my best friend is not yet. So, I am having my best friend be my maid of honor and my sister the matron of honor. If you really cannot decide and they are both single, you can have 2 maid of honors if you want. Remember, it is your wedding and you can do whatever you would like :)
  • flsl
    flsl Posts: 75 Member
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    I asked both my best friend and my sister to be bridesmaids. Initially wanted only one bridesmaid, but in the end couldnt decide :-)

    Its lovely to be included in a friend or relations wedding. My cousin asked us to sing/play music at her wedding. For me that was better than being a bridesmaid :-) If you do decide on one rather than the other, can you give another 'job' to do, something they might really enjoy?

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