*Sigh*

jenbit

SO I realized something this morning. Even though I lost 2/3 of my goal and am usually confindent and happy. Going out with my sister has to be the biggest blow to my confidence every single time.:grumble: Don't get me wrong its nothing she does. My sister is beautiful shes 5'3 and about 105 with super long hair and green eyes. We look nothing alike. It just seems when we go out just us 2 I might as well stay home.We went out last night and I swear she got swarmed. Literally we were both sitting at a table in the bar. And I mean there were like 4 guys on her side talking to her and I'm just smiling and swaying with the music. The funny part is my sister is really not very nice to most guys. I dont know I guess I just had one of those nights where it would have been better to stay home and go to bed. Ugh and yes I know I'm whinning but I dont indulge in it often. I'm just tired of feeling like no matter what I do if I go out with my sister I might as well be part of the fruiniture.:huh:

Carl01

Everyone to their own but 5' 3" and 105 lbs is too small for my personal tastes.

DMZ_1

Hot women with nasty 'tudes often get a lot of attention, especially at bars, where superficiality reigns supreme.

kerrymh

Oh I can so relate. I have some friends, that when I go out with...are constantly hit on. And me nada, zippo not even a smile my way lol. When I was 400lbs I got that..I wasn't going to get hit on and accepted it. Now its like geez what do I have to do. I know I'm still 40lbs heavier than ideal, and that my friend is slim and sophisticated and of course she should get attention. But I'm not a whale any more! I swear I had guys hit on me more when I was 400lbs..I just thought they were being friendly. Now not a thing. Thank god I like dancing or going out would have me depressed I still manage to have fun the few times I go out a year now but its almost more of a kick in the teeth to have zippo attention.

jenbit

I get what your saying Kerry. The thing is when she doesnt come out with me I get hit on and flirted with. Even if she comes out and were with a group of people. But when its just her and I nope nada. Sometimes it makes me feel like the second choice and yes I know its in my head but sometimes it gets to me

JanieJack

I know how you feel! I get kicked to second tier for both size and race all the time. Out by myself, tons of attention. Out with certain girlfriends, the well is dry. Since I can't avoid it, I just try to adjust my expectations. Doesn't always work though. I think your rant is much tamer than what I would have wrote after a night like that, lol, so at least you handle it with style and class.

poncho33

My friend Jordan is kind of the same way, he's 6' 3" looks like "Ice Man" From Top Gun... he has never approached a woman, they approach him. Well when I'm out with him he always gets the first look, but over time I've realized that he doesn't have the personality to keep these gals attention, so I've restructured my approach and use him to my advantage now.

For your situation I think I would look for the guy that realizes your sister isn't very nice to these guys and walks away... because he's probably going to be a winner, then make your move. The other guys that stick around and get treated like *kitten* are probably just into her for superficial reasons anyway.

TheKitsune6

I have the same situation with my sister (except she's tall and thin with long blond hair). She has the draw, people want to be around her, it doesn't matter if they're straight, queer, male or female (though it's especially true for straight men). Even after she tells them she's asexual it's not uncommon for people to see that as a challenge and press forward anyway. I used to just sit by and let people chat with her but after too long of getting ignored.... I butt in.

If I feel like they're pestering her and she's stressing out but too nice to say no, then I get *****y. If I feel like they're cool peeps I just start making comments in the conversation until, damn what do you know, I'm included. If they contiously cut me off after I try to include myself because they don't like me, or they only want to focus on my sister, or whatever reason then I just find something else to interest me. What I did once was go and sit across the bar with another couple of people and tell them I was getting ignored so I was going to be friends with them. Worked out great.

I guess what it boils down to is that yeah... it happens and it can be a blow to the ego... but what happens after is totally in your control. Do you want to be the girl that sits there and lets herself be ignored?

NNAhuja

I totally know the feeling!! My sister is 5'5 with a coke bottle shape and tends to wear her hair long while I'm 5'9 and apple/athletlic with short curly hair. We haven't gone out in a while together but I'm sure if we did it would be a MAJOR blow to my ego.

JanieJack

For your situation I think I would look for the guy that realizes your sister isn't very nice to these guys and walks away... because he's probably going to be a winner, then make your move. The other guys that stick around...are probably just into her for superficial reasons anyway.

What happens when the "competition" is beautiful both inside and out?! There was a girl like this in my singles group, 15 years younger than me, and no matter conversation or activity what we were engaged in, all the guys dropped everything and flocked to her when she walked in.

I never did find a good solution to hanging out with her in public and not feeling like a loser afterward. I pretty much relegated our hanging out to one-on-one time, and spending more time with older friends. When she really just wanted me to come along and hang out, I just had to bite the bullet and go out with her- accepting the “invisibility” as a consequence of hanging out with a younger crowd. It was easier not to take it personally once I created an online profile and started getting attention.

MaraDiaz

My sister is like that, only she's sweet as can be, too. I was always invisible or second choice when I hung out with her. So those were nights I didn't prowl. I just went out and had fun. We played pool, went dancing, hit the bar, had a great time.

Hell with the men, go out and hang with family and enjoy yourself, those men probably won't be there for you in twenty years anyway.

AnnaPixie

I know the feeling, I have a beautiful sister too!! I just tell everyone that I got the brains!! :laugh:

We can't have it all :flowerforyou:

You are a delightful, fun, sexy, beautiful AND wonderful person. Don't let superficial things dent your ego. You've got more to offer than that :bigsmile:



And if all else fails, lock her in a cupboard and force feed her!!! :laugh:

La_Amazona

Yup.. I have a friend this happens with. All the time!
But then I have friends where I get all the attention!

We are fabulous no matter what. Don't forget that!

flimflamfloz

Happens to me all the time... Except I'm on the other side of the fence! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Meghan0116

Happens to me all the time... Except I'm on the other side of the fence! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Of course you are. :bigsmile:

Meghan0116

This happens to me with a friend because she is really confident and just oozes sex. I just sit there quietly because I have no idea what to do.

But you are that confident girl. Maybe being with your sister leeches some of that confidence away. Be your normal beautiful self and I bet it will get better.