Kid Dates
kobashi
Posts: 164
Is it okay if you are dating someone for both of you to bring your kids and go on dates that way? Is it even really a date then?
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Replies
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I'm not a parent so take this with a grain of salt - I would say no, that's not a date. If it was, why would parents make a thing out of "date night" when they get a babysitter for the kids and go out?0
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Kids have "play dates" all the time so I don't think it's a problem.
I do think that the two parents should actually spend time without the kids around though.
I'm not a parent though so take what I say with a grain of salt.0 -
It's very rough for me and her though. We work nonstop and when we aren't working we both spend time with our children. So it's like do we neglect our child to date someone? Or do we bring them along so that they can play and we can talk...0
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It could still be a date, but I'm more concerned that it's too early to involve the kids. Kids get attached so easily, and they take it personally when things don't work out.0
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Well, if you want to get technical...a date is defined as:
"An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest."
Therefore, yes, it can still be a date.0 -
It's hard not to involve the kids when we have them anytime we don't work. I do see your point though. This is another reason why I didn't date for so long.It could still be a date, but I'm more concerned that it's too early to involve the kids. Kids get attached so easily, and they take it personally when things don't work out.0 -
That's the whole point of a date. To talk and see if you two would be compatible. Ideally you'd want it to be a 1 on 1 sort of thing but in this case i don't see the harm. If you two end up together, the kids will be involved. You want to make sure your parenting styles will be compatable and the kids get along, more or less.It's very rough for me and her though. We work nonstop and when we aren't working we both spend time with our children. So it's like do we neglect our child to date someone? Or do we bring them along so that they can play and we can talk...0 -
That's the whole point of a date. To talk and see if you two would be compatible. Ideally you'd want it to be a 1 on 1 sort of thing but in this case i don't see the harm. If you two end up together, the kids will be involved. You want to make sure your parenting styles will be compatable and the kids get along, more or less.It's very rough for me and her though. We work nonstop and when we aren't working we both spend time with our children. So it's like do we neglect our child to date someone? Or do we bring them along so that they can play and we can talk...0 -
Here is a compromise. Take the kids to something like Circus Pizza or Chuck E Cheeze. The kids will play and you can sit and talk.0
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That is what we do. We go to Jump City. They play and we talk. I don't know how these could lead up to anything romantic though, lol.Here is a compromise. Take the kids to something like Circus Pizza or Chuck E Cheeze. The kids will play and you can sit and talk.0 -
Absolutely! The park, kids museum, sciport, ChuckE, even Chick-Fil-A (or some other restaurant with a playscape). All those are great ways for single parents to continue getting to know one another with minimal impact on their children (and babysitter budget).0
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It's hard not to involve the kids when we have them anytime we don't work. I do see your point though. This is another reason why I didn't date for so long.It could still be a date, but I'm more concerned that it's too early to involve the kids. Kids get attached so easily, and they take it personally when things don't work out.
Honestly, I feel your pain. I didn't date for about 5 years, while my kids were young (teens now). It's tough to be a good parent, work full time AND find time to date.0 -
I have been on many dates with my kids, and they are still well-rounded, healthy, adjusted, awesome kids. Of course, when I'm just getting to know a guy, I call him my "friend" instead of "boyfriend." They have never gotten too attached to just a "friend." I have met guys in parks, state parks, bowling alleys, skating rinks, and Chuck E. Cheese. One guy came over to eat with us and brought us icecream. He immediately became their favorite. LOL They also give me their input as to whether they like the guy or not which is important to me. I can also tell how he relates to my kids if he is someone with whom I can get along. Every once in a while, they might say, "Hey, whatever happened to _____________. I liked him. He was nice (or fun)." But they are not devastated by me introducing a man into their lives who happened to not be the one. What they were devastated by is the death of their father or the one guy who said he wanted to be their daddy and then abandoned us. I was married to him. That's what devastated them, not their mom going out on a date. In fact, they like it when I'm happy. And they like whoever makes me happy.
Now that they are getting older, and I have a built-in babysitter (my oldest son) and we live right next to grandparents, I am more free to go out alone than ever before. In fact, they never even met my last hunk.0 -
I think she might be using the kid dates and group dates as a way to avoid any kind of privacy. Not good. Might need to make myself move on.0
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I think she might be using the kid dates and group dates as a way to avoid any kind of privacy. Not good. Might need to make myself move on.
I read your other post, too, about how she responded in text. Honestly, you two work together and sounds like you make good friends. I'm actually impressed with how you admire her personality so much. I have seen you talk about that but haven't really seen you mention her looks. But, anyway... maybe you should move on. In the past, when I have been interested in someone, I let them know. And if I really wanted some alone time with someone, I found a way to get a sitter, maybe not as often as I would have liked. Most men I dated when my kids were young understood, though.
Good luck.0
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