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jenbit
Posts: 4,251 Member
So last night I was out with N and he told me that I'm a player:huh: Apperantly all women are players according to some male minds. But he said that I'm a player because I always have a guy with me or around me . I explained that I am not a player but I refuse to give all of me to someone unless I had all of him.. He then asked me what it would take to make me be exclusive and not have other guys around me. I said I would have to be dating someone and exclusiveness works both ways..
Now this made me think what do you think constitutes a player ? I've never actually considered this before. :noway:
Now this made me think what do you think constitutes a player ? I've never actually considered this before. :noway:
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Replies
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A player to me means you are dating/banging more than 1 guy and they don't know about each other. It sounds like to me that you just have a lot of guy friends. I'm the same way. Since I work in a male dominated industry, I don't meet a lot of chicks. :ohwell:0
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I now simply think of it as someone who does whatever is necessary to get what they want, whether it's money, sex, etc... This can be with or without thinking through the consequences. It's a conscious decision though.
It's not just about dating imo, but we use the word there most commonly. In dating circles, I don't think there has to be dating of multiple people to be played, but that is pretty common.0 -
A game player. He/she toys with others emotions to get what they want. I don't think it necessarily has to be someone dating several folks. I was dating several men at the same time... I'm far from a player!!0
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A game player. He/she toys with others emotions to get what they want. I don't think it necessarily has to be someone dating several folks. I was dating several men at the same time... I'm far from a player!!
This! Or like stringing someone along with no intention of ever committing to them.0 -
A player to me means you are dating/banging more than 1 guy and they don't know about each other. It sounds like to me that you just have a lot of guy friends. I'm the same way. Since I work in a male dominated industry, I don't meet a lot of chicks. :ohwell:
I agree, if you are dating a bunch of people and trying to hide it from the guys that might make you a player. If they all know about each other and there is no deception I think it means you are dating. And having guy friends doesn't make you a player or I am sure most women AND men are players.0 -
A player to me means you are dating/banging more than 1 guy and they don't know about each other. It sounds like to me that you just have a lot of guy friends. I'm the same way. Since I work in a male dominated industry, I don't meet a lot of chicks. :ohwell:
I agree, if you are dating a bunch of people and trying to hide it from the guys that might make you a player. If they all know about each other and there is no deception I think it means you are dating. And having guy friends doesn't make you a player or I am sure most women AND men are players.
But the thing is I'm not actually dating anyone right now.. I hang out with guys at bars and parties and such.. I'm only having sex with one person right now. I dont hide any of the guys I hang with from each other and I am brutally honest about any relationship of physical relationship I may be having.
I just dont get how I'm a player lol0 -
A player to me means you are dating/banging more than 1 guy and they don't know about each other. It sounds like to me that you just have a lot of guy friends. I'm the same way. Since I work in a male dominated industry, I don't meet a lot of chicks. :ohwell:
I agree, if you are dating a bunch of people and trying to hide it from the guys that might make you a player. If they all know about each other and there is no deception I think it means you are dating. And having guy friends doesn't make you a player or I am sure most women AND men are players.
But the thing is I'm not actually dating anyone right now.. I hang out with guys at bars and parties and such.. I'm only having sex with one person right now. I dont hide any of the guys I hang with from each other and I am brutally honest about any relationship of physical relationship I may be having.
I just dont get how I'm a player lol
lol that's the thing. You aren't!0 -
Anybody can be a player to someone frustrated they are not getting what they want whether they have made that wish clear or not.0
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A player to me means you are dating/banging more than 1 guy and they don't know about each other. It sounds like to me that you just have a lot of guy friends. I'm the same way. Since I work in a male dominated industry, I don't meet a lot of chicks. :ohwell:
I agree, if you are dating a bunch of people and trying to hide it from the guys that might make you a player. If they all know about each other and there is no deception I think it means you are dating. And having guy friends doesn't make you a player or I am sure most women AND men are players.
But the thing is I'm not actually dating anyone right now.. I hang out with guys at bars and parties and such.. I'm only having sex with one person right now. I dont hide any of the guys I hang with from each other and I am brutally honest about any relationship of physical relationship I may be having.
I just dont get how I'm a player lol
Maybe not a player as such but youre on the bench warming up lol.
You say you won't committ till someone gives you their all but why would any dude do that when he's just one of your toy boys you have hanging around? Obviously they are picking up on it.0 -
More time now so this is going to be a bit long winded but here is what I suspect is happening.
You have been on here open about having a FWB,a guy to be honest has shown no restraint in trying to sabotage to you any potential partner nor shown the ability to act adult.
I know you can handle the entire FWB thing but you have to understand that it seems a womens definition of one and a mans are worlds apart.
Not being judgmental but this is where I would be and whether it applies to anyone else is just a guess.
I see you as fun,attractive and desirable...if I know you are sleeping with someone but telling me no even though I am open to having a serious relationship I am also thinking what the fvck.
If I am just casually hanging with you and you are sleeping with a guy you say you have no interest in but are not doing that with me I am feeling rejected and am a bit resentful because I consider a FWB as what it was supposed to be,a screw not a boyfriend with feelings but not saying the word.
Do as you please but keeping the fwb AND trying to find something serious in my opinion just is not going to work.
You need to ditch that while you are trying,not using it as a back scratcher until something happens.
It is just throwing too many convoluted signals and issues out there because I doubt the guy is being discreet.0 -
Do as you please but keeping the fwb AND trying to find something serious in my opinion just is not going to work.
You need to ditch that while you are trying,not using it as a back scratcher until something happens.
I gotta agree with Carl here. If I met a guy who was into me, but then said he had a FWB he was currently with or I found out he had a FWB, I wouldn't be into him at all. It just doesn't jive in my opinion. You can have a FWB, but I think you shouldn't be looking for a guy then. And if you're into a guy, you should stop sleeping with FWB immediately. Just my two cents.0 -
I see you as fun,attractive and desirable...if I know you are sleeping with someone but telling me no even though I am open to having a serious relationship I am also thinking what the fvck.
If I am just casually hanging with you and you are sleeping with a guy you say you have no interest in but are not doing that with me I am feeling rejected and am a bit resentful because I consider a FWB as what it was supposed to be,a screw not a boyfriend with feelings but not saying the word.
It is just throwing too many convoluted signals and issues out there because I doubt the guy is being discreet.
Yeah, I can see what Carl is saying.
I dont think you're a 'player' in the true sense of the word (manipulative, lying, insincere, not serious.........), but you're 'playING' around with a few guys - drinking, partying, flirting - And even though you're only sleeping with one, you have no idea how the others see it. Especially, someone that's trying to have a relationship with you.
Apart from what you tell us on here (you always seem to be having a fun time and I just WISH my social life was so rockin!), I dont really know the set up with this new fella, so take a step back and think about it from the outside looking in and then ask yourself if you're portraying someone looking for a serious relationship. I think all he means by the 'player' label, is that you dont appear to be? :flowerforyou:0 -
More time now so this is going to be a bit long winded but here is what I suspect is happening.
You have been on here open about having a FWB,a guy to be honest has shown no restraint in trying to sabotage to you any potential partner nor shown the ability to act adult.
I know you can handle the entire FWB thing but you have to understand that it seems a womens definition of one and a mans are worlds apart.
Not being judgmental but this is where I would be and whether it applies to anyone else is just a guess.
I see you as fun,attractive and desirable...if I know you are sleeping with someone but telling me no even though I am open to having a serious relationship I am also thinking what the fvck.
If I am just casually hanging with you and you are sleeping with a guy you say you have no interest in but are not doing that with me I am feeling rejected and am a bit resentful because I consider a FWB as what it was supposed to be,a screw not a boyfriend with feelings but not saying the word.
Do as you please but keeping the fwb AND trying to find something serious in my opinion just is not going to work.
You need to ditch that while you are trying,not using it as a back scratcher until something happens.
It is just throwing too many convoluted signals and issues out there because I doubt the guy is being discreet.
Ok sorry it took so long to respond to this....
This is the first time this guy has even remotley brought up trying to be serious. I also told him that IF I was dating someone than I will no longer be "hanging" with my FWB. But as I am not dating anyone even in the looses sense of the word I keep someone around lol... Also I know this guy has at least 1 booty call lol. So its kinda like throwing rocks while in a glass house.
Also FWB has been replaced lol. I got tired of his behavior and decided he was to much work lol..Power plant is his replacement0 -
So last night I was out with N and he told me that I'm a player:huh: Apperantly all women are players according to some male minds. But he said that I'm a player because I always have a guy with me or around me . I explained that I am not a player but I refuse to give all of me to someone unless I had all of him.. He then asked me what it would take to make me be exclusive and not have other guys around me. I said I would have to be dating someone and exclusiveness works both ways..
Now this made me think what do you think constitutes a player ? I've never actually considered this before. :noway:
A player is a woman who dates multiple men at the same time and/or sleeps with more than one man and after ending that doesn't have a vaginal cooling off period of at least a month. Oh yea the term playa is so 90s the term now in use for such women are Pop or a jumpoff. Play on playa!0 -
So last night I was out with N and he told me that I'm a player:huh: Apperantly all women are players according to some male minds. But he said that I'm a player because I always have a guy with me or around me . I explained that I am not a player but I refuse to give all of me to someone unless I had all of him.. He then asked me what it would take to make me be exclusive and not have other guys around me. I said I would have to be dating someone and exclusiveness works both ways..
Now this made me think what do you think constitutes a player ? I've never actually considered this before. :noway:
A player is a woman who dates multiple men at the same time and/or sleeps with more than one man and after ending that doesn't have a vaginal cooling off period of at least a month. Oh yea the term playa is so 90s the term now in use for such women are Pop or a jumpoff. Play on playa!
So then whats a male player lol cause I've watched male friends bed hop my whole life0
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