Celebrating Mediocrity in Children
Turtlehurdle
Posts: 412
Do you praise and celebrate your child even if he/she did a bad/mediocre job on a task or in sports? Example: giving children trophies even though they were in last place?
Do you agree with celebrating medriocrity?
Does your household celebrate mediocrity? If so, why?
Do you agree with celebrating medriocrity?
Does your household celebrate mediocrity? If so, why?
0
Replies
-
Do you praise and celebrate your child even if he/she did a bad/mediocre job on a task or in sports? Example: giving children trophies even though they were in last place?
Do you agree with celebrating medriocrity?
Does your household celebrate mediocrity? If so, why?
As soon as we are mediocre I'll let you know.0 -
As far as giving everyone trophies... No. I don't agree with that. Part of raising a child is preparing them for the real world, not making them as comfortable as possible.
That being said, I reinforce pride in my son even when he does something mediocre, then again he's 5. I feel at this stage, telling him either "I'm proud" or "I'm displeased" after doing even little things, build his knowledge of what's right/wrong or whats appropriate/inappropriate. I'll have expectations of him when he gets older as far as basic things go.
Too many people keep their children in a plastic bubble of comfort. Kids have little or too much freedom, high expectaions and a sense of entitlement when you celebrate mediocrity.0 -
We celebrate success at the level it deserves. If one of the kids accomplishes something that is difficult for their skill level, or is something totally new to them, even if it isn't perfection by someone else's standards, yes, it is still acknowledged. If they half *kitten* something but it is at a level that someone outside may say is an incredible feat, no, that isn't celebrated, we talk about what they were capable of doing but didn't. So, depending on the situation, in someone else's eyes, yes and no.0
-
I don't think giving a chilid a trophy for last place--or a ribbon of participation, whatever we want to call it--necessarily qualifies as celebrating mediocrity for everyone.
It kind of depends on what we think the goal is. If someone feels like participation is at least of equal importance to winning, then giving trophies (as a form of praise) to all levels, seems appropriate. We can still distinguish those who achieve higher results than the others. If we want to take a survival of the fittest approach to activities, then I suppose it counts as celebrating mediocrity.
Just from my personal experience, I didn't really appreciate the constant "strive for your best" crap. "Why did you get a B+, you can get an A." I got a B+ b/c I know I can get an A, I have mastery of the material, and I didn't give a damn about an arbitrary set of standards. So it's not so much that I think I want mediocrity celebrated, it's that I disagreed with the point of putting in the effort to get an A--still do. I'll pick my own rat maze to go through with rules I approve of, thank you very much.
Competition isn't a justifiable end in itself. The experience should be praised. Some people consider that celebrating mediocrity, but I don't.0 -
Well... yes, I think I do. But my son is five. When he was done with a baseball game, I always told him he did a great job and pointed out something good he did... Like TRY to catch the ball even if he didn't succeed. He's 5... It's overhand pitch, catching a fly ball is unlikely for any of the kids on his team. More than anything I would applaud him for never whining or pouting if he struck out, got hurt, etc.
The kids on his team never even knew or asked the score b/c they're still too little to care. They got ice cream at the end of the season not trophies.
But in a couple of years I imagine that will all change. As to truly giving trophies to a losing team, I don't understand that. Part of growth is understanding disappointment and failure and learning how to responsibly cope with those feelings.0 -
My son, David, has autism and he has taught me so much about celebrating the little things! But, he's obviously different. I don't want my kids getting a trophy for coming in last place. I don't want them getting a "participation award" just for showing up to school everyday. But, I'm also not the mom who demands straight A's or the MVP every game. I have 5 kids, so I can tell you there are times when I've cheered (literally) for a D- on a report card!0
-
You can enourage your children and compliment them without "celebrating mediocrity"
If my kid loses the game, but keeps his composure, I can still say, "you showed good sportsmanship, because some kids cry and whine when they lose. I was proud when I saw you didn't do that"
You can be uplifting to your child without being fake. I think we all dislike the fake praise, and kids do, too. They can spot an insincere "wtg" a mile away.0 -
Celebrating mediocrity isn't a big deal, children are going to be competitive anyway. I have coached my son's flag football team. Flag is for 6 and 7 year old kids and no score is kept. But the kids always keep track of whether they won or lost. They know the score after every game and how many games they've won that season, even when I forget.0
-
Celebrating mediocrity isn't a big deal, children are going to be competitive anyway. I have coached my son's flag football team. Flag is for 6 and 7 year old kids and no score is kept. But the kids always keep track of whether they won or lost. They know the score after every game and how many games they've won that season, even when I forget.
Where the HELL have you been???0 -
As far as parental responsibility goes, I believe in encouraging kids to do their best. But that has to be accompanied by an effort to teach them that their best is not always going to be good enough to win. Kids need to learn the concept of failure and develop a strong dislike for it. Otherwise, nobody would ever try to "win" (i.e. be successful) at anything, and societ would crumble around us.0
-
Celebrating mediocrity isn't a big deal, children are going to be competitive anyway. I have coached my son's flag football team. Flag is for 6 and 7 year old kids and no score is kept. But the kids always keep track of whether they won or lost. They know the score after every game and how many games they've won that season, even when I forget.
Nice to have him back right?Where the HELL have you been???
I dunno. My daughter has yet to get involved in any sports ot activities where this is an issue. She's not even 4. But at home I celebrate her accomplishments. All of them. "That is a MEGA poop, baby!"
I think I'll fall on the side of rewarding accomplishment/winning. I started swimming competetively at age 5 and it was great. Even when I lost. And I lost a lot.
But then I won't really know until my daughter is crying her eyes out because she didn't get a trophy. Then I'll probably bum rush the li'l ***** who did's parents and take their ****.0 -
Exactly. Katy would rather get no award then a made up one. In kinder, she got the "Best Smile" award. She said, "I guess they made THAT one up". Ha!They can spot an insincere "wtg" a mile away.0 -
Where the HELL have you been???
I started eating carbs a few weeks ago, it all kinda went downhill from there.
I've done some things in exchange for sugar packets that I'm not proud of. Hopefully others can learn from my experiences and not make the same mistakes I did.0 -
Where the HELL have you been???
I started eating carbs a few weeks ago, it all kinda went downhill from there.
I've done some things in exchange for sugar packets that I'm not proud of. Hopefully others can learn from my experiences and not make the same mistakes I did.
Is there video??
Nice to have you back ;-)0 -
Where the HELL have you been???
I started eating carbs a few weeks ago, it all kinda went downhill from there.
I've done some things in exchange for sugar packets that I'm not proud of. Hopefully others can learn from my experiences and not make the same mistakes I did.
freebasing splenda in a dimly lit corner listening to John Tesh. I can see it.0 -
Nope. There's no reason to berate the child for not performing well, either, though. As a teacher, I'm really conscientious about what I say to kids when they do well AND when they still have work to do. Praising a job not well done doesn't send them the correct signals. It's quite obvious to all of the other students who are "getting it" that you just lied to the student in order to make them feel better, which does them no favors socially or academically. You have to encourage them to try again, but most definitely acknowledge any progress that has been made, no matter how small. Take care with their egos, make sure they know you have their back, but address what needs improvement.0
-
I agree on praising children who are 3, 4, 5, 6, even 7 but 8 and older? No.
I would think that at the age of 12 or 13 awarding/praising would just be teaching them to be conformists? I mean, they are being praised for coming in at last place?0 -
I agree on praising children who are 3, 4, 5, 6, even 7 but 8 and older? No.
I would think that at the age of 12 or 13 awarding/praising would just be teaching them to be conformists? I mean, they are being praised for coming in at last place?
I don't see how conformity fits into it. Praising children for participation doesn't preclude distinguishing exceptional performance, though that seems to be an underlying assumption if I'm reading some of the responses correctly.0 -
This is a very interesting and worthwhile topic, Turtlehurtle. Congratulations on starting it. I'm proud of you!0
-
This is a very interesting and worthwhile topic, Turtlehurtle. Congratulations on starting it. I'm proud of you!
Aaaaaaaaand...SCENE!0
