hey hun
pa_jorg
Posts: 4,404 Member
Any other women here creeped out when a guy calls you hun or other pet names in the email stage before actually meeting? I'm talking to this one guy online and he seems nice except for this one thing and it freaks me out! Can (or how) do I ask him to stop?
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Hey hun!
:laugh:
Yes, I definitely see your point of view. It makes perfect sense. Pet names should not be used in the email stages and probably aren't appropriate for a while.
You can certainly ask him to stop. You can say that while you find his use of "hun" or "babe" or whatever flattering, you don't think it is appropriate right now because you have not even met in person yet. All in due time.0 -
I hate pet names from guys that I am not there honey, baby, sweetheart, sunshine, princess, dollface, etc. etc.... The ONLY guy that can call me pet names and I like it are guys that I have been with for awhile- dating longer or relationship.
I had a date with weekend and he used every pet name on me in the book and it drove me nuts.
I also work retail part time and guys feel the need to use pet names to get my attention- to bad for them that it irriates me and it will take me that much longer to help them find what they need. I think it's a respect thing.0 -
I don't mind if it's done every now and then, but I know what you're saying. I had a guy that called me sweetheart all the time and I felt like he was a dog marking his territory and he hadn't even visited the hydrant yet. :noway:0
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on MFP i don't mind it.
if i haven't messaged back and forth a couple time first, it would weird me out a little......0 -
I don't mind if it's done every now and then, but I know what you're saying. I had a guy that called me sweetheart all the time and I felt like he was a dog marking his territory and he hadn't even visited the hydrant yet. :noway:
:laugh: :laugh: Love that expression!0 -
Ooops! I even call my female friends (including online ones) hun, sweetie and babe. Now I'm desperately rummaging around in my memory banks trying to recall if I've called you hun, or whether I picked up on your non-usage of the term and refrained :laugh: :flowerforyou:
If it bothers a lot then you'll have to tell him. Those that find it creepy seem to do so because they think it signifies more than friendship. What if he means it as a term of affection/friendship, rather than a term of possession? Then he may misunderstand your intentions. So it may be worth saying something along the lines of you appreciating the gesture but you don't like pet names. Or could it be that this is just one sign that something isn't quite right? I'd trust your instinct0 -
I live in the south I have come to expect it.0
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Ooops! I even call my female friends (including online ones) hun, sweetie and babe. Now I'm desperately rummaging around in my memory banks trying to recall if I've called you hun, or whether I picked up on your non-usage of the term and refrained :laugh: :flowerforyou:
If it bothers a lot then you'll have to tell him. Those that find it creepy seem to do so because they think it signifies more than friendship. What if he means it as a term of affection/friendship, rather than a term of possession? Then he may misunderstand your intentions. So it may be worth saying something along the lines of you appreciating the gesture but you don't like pet names. Or could it be that this is just one sign that something isn't quite right? I'd trust your instinct
Anji,
Exactly, I'm trying to figure out of it's a gut instinct or not right now. My guess is it is, but the guy is "good on paper" and nice enough otherwise, so I think it's worth meeting and then I'll know more.
It really doesn't bother me when friends do it, so no worries, you have never offended me! :flowerforyou:0 -
I use pet names all the time... I think they're hilarious. With all my friends I might make up the most ridiculous stupid ones because it makes me laugh. Seriously stupid things like "Pookie-wookie-buttface" and "Schnookum-laddywumps". Again, these have no hint of seriousness and I only do that with people that I'm really close to and understand that I am being 100% ridiculous. However I have been known to use "sweetums" and "beebee/baby".
I generally don't have a problem with people using pet names on me, but for some reason it really gets my goat when guys call me "love" unless they're ACTUALLY British. In any American accent it just sounds forced and contrived.0 -
Honestly no... Lol I call everyone hun or babe so I can dont really take offense. Especially living in Maimi men call you mami and other nicknames all the time0
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I use terms like that all the time - hun, babe, sugar puff.......lol....... Doesnt bother me at all. It's common practice in East London (and lots of other places). A guy from my head office up North calls me 'flower'. Never met him, but I love that I'm special enough to be called something different. Put it this way, if I didnt like you, you wouldnt get a pet name!
In fact, when a guy I was talking to on the phone pulled me up on it and asked me to stop, I stopped calling him!
I figure that if something so petty gets on your nerves, then I'll be sure to annoy you far more than you can stand!!! :laugh:0 -
I think its pure laziness they use hun or babe or sexy because they don't actually remember your name, and they have a few others they are emailing at the same time so..its easy for them to just use a generic lazy hun. I don't like it at all0
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I use sweetie or dear all the time... I think it's a southern thing (TX). I grew up around that so I've always done it. That's probably why it doesn't bother me when guys do it as long as it's not anything inappropriate.
BUT... if I have called someone a "pet" name and they don't like it or it bothers them, I would really hope they would say something to me so I can correct it. Mainly because most of the time I don't even realize I've done it! 0 -
Ooops! I even call my female friends (including online ones) hun, sweetie and babe. Now I'm desperately rummaging around in my memory banks trying to recall if I've called you hun, or whether I picked up on your non-usage of the term and refrained :laugh: :flowerforyou:
If it bothers a lot then you'll have to tell him. Those that find it creepy seem to do so because they think it signifies more than friendship. What if he means it as a term of affection/friendship, rather than a term of possession? Then he may misunderstand your intentions. So it may be worth saying something along the lines of you appreciating the gesture but you don't like pet names. Or could it be that this is just one sign that something isn't quite right? I'd trust your instinct
Anji,
Exactly, I'm trying to figure out of it's a gut instinct or not right now. My guess is it is, but the guy is "good on paper" and nice enough otherwise, so I think it's worth meeting and then I'll know more.
It really doesn't bother me when friends do it, so no worries, you have never offended me! :flowerforyou:
Yes, I reckon that if it felt genuine to you then it wouldn't have struck an off note. But it could be perhaps he is just trying too hard. So I'd meet him and take it from there 0 -
Maybe he's calling you hun so he doesn't have to worry about keeping the names of all his matches straight?
My last BF called me Babe. At first it made me think of that pig in the movie.
I've never really liked those lovey-dovey nicknames, but I didn't mind it so much from him after a couple of times - probably because I was so gaga over him. 0 -
Oops! I see someone beat me to posting this. I should read the thread first, not just the OP. :blushing:I think its pure laziness they use hun or babe or sexy because they don't actually remember your name, and they have a few others they are emailing at the same time so..its easy for them to just use a generic lazy hun. I don't like it at all0 -
After reading a thread in the general forums last fall where women were reporting that they were offended or annoyed by the particular wording of a compliment payed to them by their SO I came to the conclusion that there is not one possible affectionate term that a guy can use that is safe from being disliked. :ohwell:0
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Depends on the girl and in my case, if he's actually my SO versus some guy I've been on a few dates with.0
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After reading a thread in the general forums last fall where women were reporting that they were offended or annoyed by the particular wording of a compliment payed to them by their SO I came to the conclusion that there is not one possible affectionate term that a guy can use that is safe from being disliked. :ohwell:
Nah -- I don't agree. I don't like it when it's someone from Match or POF that I barely know...
I never get offended when a woman calls me hon... it's just cute.
And when my friends from MFP call me something affectionate, it's just icing on the cake because I only keep people on my FL that I really, really like!0 -
After reading a thread in the general forums last fall where women were reporting that they were offended or annoyed by the particular wording of a compliment payed to them by their SO I came to the conclusion that there is not one possible affectionate term that a guy can use that is safe from being disliked. :ohwell:
Nah -- I don't agree. I don't like it when it's someone from Match or POF that I barely know...
I never get offended when a woman calls me hon... it's just cute.
And when my friends from MFP call me something affectionate, it's just icing on the cake because I only keep people on my FL that I really, really like!
I completely agree with Daisy! So much depends on how well you know someone. I love a good compliment or nickname from a friend or SO! A potential date that I haven't actually met yet, not so much...0 -
Ooops! I even call my female friends (including online ones) hun, sweetie and babe. Now I'm desperately rummaging around in my memory banks trying to recall if I've called you hun, or whether I picked up on your non-usage of the term and refrained :laugh: :flowerforyou:
If it bothers a lot then you'll have to tell him. Those that find it creepy seem to do so because they think it signifies more than friendship. What if he means it as a term of affection/friendship, rather than a term of possession? Then he may misunderstand your intentions. So it may be worth saying something along the lines of you appreciating the gesture but you don't like pet names. Or could it be that this is just one sign that something isn't quite right? I'd trust your instinct
Anji,
Exactly, I'm trying to figure out of it's a gut instinct or not right now. My guess is it is, but the guy is "good on paper" and nice enough otherwise, so I think it's worth meeting and then I'll know more.
It really doesn't bother me when friends do it, so no worries, you have never offended me! :flowerforyou:
Yes, I reckon that if it felt genuine to you then it wouldn't have struck an off note. But it could be perhaps he is just trying too hard. So I'd meet him and take it from there
Update - yes I met him and he was weird. Suspicions confirmed. NEXT!0 -
Ooops! I even call my female friends (including online ones) hun, sweetie and babe. Now I'm desperately rummaging around in my memory banks trying to recall if I've called you hun, or whether I picked up on your non-usage of the term and refrained :laugh: :flowerforyou:
If it bothers a lot then you'll have to tell him. Those that find it creepy seem to do so because they think it signifies more than friendship. What if he means it as a term of affection/friendship, rather than a term of possession? Then he may misunderstand your intentions. So it may be worth saying something along the lines of you appreciating the gesture but you don't like pet names. Or could it be that this is just one sign that something isn't quite right? I'd trust your instinct
Anji,
Exactly, I'm trying to figure out of it's a gut instinct or not right now. My guess is it is, but the guy is "good on paper" and nice enough otherwise, so I think it's worth meeting and then I'll know more.
It really doesn't bother me when friends do it, so no worries, you have never offended me! :flowerforyou:
Yes, I reckon that if it felt genuine to you then it wouldn't have struck an off note. But it could be perhaps he is just trying too hard. So I'd meet him and take it from there
Update - yes I met him and he was weird. Suspicions confirmed. NEXT!
OMG!! Weird, in what way??? Give us some details to laugh about..... :laugh:
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Ooops! I even call my female friends (including online ones) hun, sweetie and babe. Now I'm desperately rummaging around in my memory banks trying to recall if I've called you hun, or whether I picked up on your non-usage of the term and refrained :laugh: :flowerforyou:
If it bothers a lot then you'll have to tell him. Those that find it creepy seem to do so because they think it signifies more than friendship. What if he means it as a term of affection/friendship, rather than a term of possession? Then he may misunderstand your intentions. So it may be worth saying something along the lines of you appreciating the gesture but you don't like pet names. Or could it be that this is just one sign that something isn't quite right? I'd trust your instinct
Anji,
Exactly, I'm trying to figure out of it's a gut instinct or not right now. My guess is it is, but the guy is "good on paper" and nice enough otherwise, so I think it's worth meeting and then I'll know more.
It really doesn't bother me when friends do it, so no worries, you have never offended me! :flowerforyou:
Yes, I reckon that if it felt genuine to you then it wouldn't have struck an off note. But it could be perhaps he is just trying too hard. So I'd meet him and take it from there
Update - yes I met him and he was weird. Suspicions confirmed. NEXT!
OMG!! Weird, in what way??? Give us some details to laugh about..... :laugh:
Anna, He was extremely nervous and fidgety and talked super loud and could not for the life of him keep the conversation going.0 -
Yes, I reckon that if it felt genuine to you then it wouldn't have struck an off note. But it could be perhaps he is just trying too hard. So I'd meet him and take it from there
Update - yes I met him and he was weird. Suspicions confirmed. NEXT!
OMG!! Weird, in what way??? Give us some details to laugh about..... :laugh:
Anna, He was extremely nervous and fidgety and talked super loud and could not for the life of him keep the conversation going.
Awwww, that's not even funny. So at least you met eh? Anyone else on the horizon?? :flowerforyou:0 -
Don't like it at all...even with someone I'm dating. If I'm going to have to endure a cutsie name, it better be at least original!0
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Don't like it at all...even with someone I'm dating. If I'm going to have to endure a cutsie name, it better be at least original!
Bigglepoodywumps?0 -
Don't like it at all...even with someone I'm dating. If I'm going to have to endure a cutsie name, it better be at least original!
Bigglepoodywumps?
At least it's original! LOL!0 -
I really don't like hun, babes, sweetie or anything similar I'M 41 not 21, does that make me sound like a grumpy old..... (add any perticular last word)... :laugh:0
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Don't like it at all...even with someone I'm dating. If I'm going to have to endure a cutsie name, it better be at least original!
Bigglepoodywumps?
At least it's original! LOL!
Bigglepoodywumps love it, what about cutsie name people have for each other in retaionships, MUCH worse.:grumble:0
This discussion has been closed.