So tired.....
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The early stages of dating are mostly unsatisfying. What you are feeling is quite normal.
I think this is only true if you both are on two different pages. if one of u is ready for a relationship and one of u is just dating around it will be unsatisfying.
but i'd like to think if ur both looking for the same thing, aka a relationship, you'll both put the effort and have a great time!0 -
I am so tired of dating. I am so tired of the whole thing. It seems like it should be fun and exciting but it isn't. I am still "seeing" Mike I guess. We went on two dates two weeks in a row and then didn't see each other for two weeks due to work conflicts. We had dinner last Thursday and I let him know that I don't have my son last night or tonight. His response the other day was okay. He was fixing one of his cars last night and he is still working on it tonight. I responded with okay, maybe next week. After each date he messaged me more that once saying what a great time he had.
I would think that if he had such a good time he would want to spend more time with me. Maybe I am mistaken. I am just feeling dejected about a lot of stuff so it is making the dating thing worse.
It sounds like you have a serious case of narcissism . If a guy doesn't want to spend every waking moment with you then you accuse him of not really being into you. Well perhaps he's preoccupied with this little thing called life. Get over yourself if you don't want to date like a responsible adult then don't. That's what Redbox,worldofwarcraft and silverbullets were made for. #1000 -
The early stages of dating are mostly unsatisfying. What you are feeling is quite normal.
I think this is only true if you both are on two different pages. if one of u is ready for a relationship and one of u is just dating around it will be unsatisfying.
but i'd like to think if ur both looking for the same thing, aka a relationship, you'll both put the effort and have a great time!
I think what you are saying making sense. Once two people make it through those harrowing early stages, there is potential for good things. The thing that is unsatisfying is being stuck over and over in "one & dones", going to singles mixer after singles mixer, and not making deep into relationships. I think anyone rational and reasonable would find that unsatisfying.
When a relationship is working, when both sides put in the effort, few things are more beautiful.0 -
I am so tired of dating. I am so tired of the whole thing. It seems like it should be fun and exciting but it isn't. I am still "seeing" Mike I guess. We went on two dates two weeks in a row and then didn't see each other for two weeks due to work conflicts. We had dinner last Thursday and I let him know that I don't have my son last night or tonight. His response the other day was okay. He was fixing one of his cars last night and he is still working on it tonight. I responded with okay, maybe next week. After each date he messaged me more that once saying what a great time he had.
I would think that if he had such a good time he would want to spend more time with me. Maybe I am mistaken. I am just feeling dejected about a lot of stuff so it is making the dating thing worse.
It sounds like you have a serious case of narcissism . If a guy doesn't want to spend every waking moment with you then you accuse him of not really being into you. Well perhaps he's preoccupied with this little thing called life. Get over yourself if you don't want to date like a responsible adult then don't. That's what Redbox,worldofwarcraft and silverbullets were made for. #100
Hold the eff up now. I am not a narcissist. Although you might be an idiot. We have been talking for 1 1/2 months and have seen each other 3 times. So your assumption is asinine. I have very limited time because I am a single mom. I try to make the best of my time without my son, so excuse me if I would like to spend some of that with the guy I am dating.0 -
I am so tired of dating. I am so tired of the whole thing. It seems like it should be fun and exciting but it isn't. I am still "seeing" Mike I guess. We went on two dates two weeks in a row and then didn't see each other for two weeks due to work conflicts. We had dinner last Thursday and I let him know that I don't have my son last night or tonight. His response the other day was okay. He was fixing one of his cars last night and he is still working on it tonight. I responded with okay, maybe next week. After each date he messaged me more that once saying what a great time he had.
I would think that if he had such a good time he would want to spend more time with me. Maybe I am mistaken. I am just feeling dejected about a lot of stuff so it is making the dating thing worse.
It sounds like you have a serious case of narcissism . If a guy doesn't want to spend every waking moment with you then you accuse him of not really being into you. Well perhaps he's preoccupied with this little thing called life. Get over yourself if you don't want to date like a responsible adult then don't. That's what Redbox,worldofwarcraft and silverbullets were made for. #100
Hold the eff up now. I am not a narcissist. Although you might be an idiot. We have been talking for 1 1/2 months and have seen each other 3 times. So your assumption is asinine. I have very limited time because I am a single mom. I try to make the best of my time without my son, so excuse me if I would like to spend some of that with the guy I am dating.
So basically you did a post entitled "So tired.." about a guy who doesn't have enough time to spend with you cause you don't have enough time to go around because your a single mom. And I'm the idiot. I may be a *kitten* but I think your sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and you wanna use the forum for afframation and to be pitied. Which I do. Try to be a grown up and stop using the forums to pout about your boyfriend who doesn't wanna spend time with you and you don't know why. Boohoo. That's what's wrong with this country, everyone wants to be coddled and placated .
Oh I may be an *kitten* but I never have a shortage of dates and if I ever found myself in that position I wouldn't sit around and whine about it.0 -
I do not want to be pitied nor do I need an affirmation that I should sit around feeling badly about myself. I was frustrated and tired of the dating game, as I am allowed to be. I posted because I wanted opinions on the situation. And you are right, you are an *kitten*.0
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I do not want to be pitied nor do I need an affirmation that I should sit around feeling badly about myself. I was frustrated and tired of the dating game, as I am allowed to be. I posted because I wanted opinions on the situation. And you are right, you are an *kitten*.
And I gave it too you, stop complaining on the internet too strangers. They really can't help you cause they can't read the mind of the guy your dating. Duh.
And stop calling people names online , its very unbecoming of a lady to do so.0 -
No, you didn't give me your opinion on the situation. You gave an opinion on my character. I am allowed to have bad days, I am allowed to ***** and complain if I want to. I try to respond helpfully to others when they are feeling down and on here, that happens a lot because dating can be difficult and painful. Your response wasn't helpful and I imagine it wasn't intended to be.0
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I gotta jump in and say that Dave you kind came out of no where with those comments.
I think everyone comes on MFP to vent about something, discuss their opinions or seek advice. That's what a lot of these forums have become like and thats why a lot of us have gotten to "know" each other even tho we've never met in person.
You might have been a little unfair on her with this one.0 -
Okay,lets tone it down and carry on a civilized conversation.
I don`t see a need for this to become a smaller version of what I think is the sometimes over sanitized main forums but please bear in mind that when addressing a topic there is no need to personally attack or insult the person.
So back to replying on the topic in a constructive manner and no more of this please.
Thanks.0 -
Okay,lets tone it down and carry on a civilized conversation.
I don`t see a need for this to become a smaller version of what I think is the sometimes over sanitized main forums but please bear in mind that when addressing a topic there is no need to personally attack or insult the person.
So back to replying on the topic in a constructive manner and no more of this please.
Thanks.
I agree completely. I did not post expecting to be called a narcissist, a whiner, etc. This has not been my experience so far on this forum. Granted, I should not have called him an *kitten*. His comments were intentionally inflammatory and I reacted poorly.0 -
Okay,lets tone it down and carry on a civilized conversation.
I don`t see a need for this to become a smaller version of what I think is the sometimes over sanitized main forums but please bear in mind that when addressing a topic there is no need to personally attack or insult the person.
So back to replying on the topic in a constructive manner and no more of this please.
Thanks.
Carl, Is this your first act of authority on Single Peeps? Let's get this man a badge cause there's a new sheriff in town!
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There is a reason this forum is outside of the regular MFP forums.... I'm glad you are having so much luck in your dating experiences Dave but be a little considerate of others before you jump down their throat.
Everybody has a bad day, sometimes people wonder if they are the only one that thinks a certain way, and the internet is a good resource to use for evaluating that. Thats why forums were created....to allow people who otherwise wouldn't ever meet or talk to discuss various topics.
If the OP chooses to whine then we can choose to either call her out on it, or give her a little support/motivation for a better day.
Being on here for this short time, I'm going to say she's done her fair share of uplifting/sharing positive comments with others.
We are human.
Edit: Thank you Carl!0 -
Ok I apologize for calling the OP a narcissist. But I usually use Blunt tools in speech to get a point of addressing my pet peeves on MFP : Light house cleaning, whining posters lookin to be obviously Cosigned or pitied (not to impune the OP,IJS) are two of the biggest.I honestly feel that its best to tell these women like it is cause there will be 20 commentors that will rub them on the back and make the pain go away but some of you need a dose of reality and a proverbial kick in the dating pants. If that makes me the *kitten* of the group I'll be that.0
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Ok I apologize for calling the OP a narcissist. But I usually use Blunt tools in speech to get a point of addressing my pet peeves on MFP : Light house cleaning, whining posters lookin to be obviously Cosigned or pitied (not to impune the OP,IJS) are two of the biggest.I honestly feel that its best to tell these women like it is cause there will be 20 commentors that will rub them on the back and make the pain go away but some of you need a dose of reality and a proverbial kick in the dating pants. If that makes me the *kitten* of the group I'll be that.
I am not sure anyone should feel that is a "role" that needs to be taken but regardless there are ways to express a point with courtesy and tact while still being clear.
And yes I can fail at that as easily as anyone,Internet conversations get muddied at times and fast paced.
Just that before a person hits "POST REPLY" perhaps it is best to take a moment a read it back while considering if the actual tone is going to be productive to the desired result.0 -
Ok I apologize for calling the OP a narcissist. But I usually use Blunt tools in speech to get a point of addressing my pet peeves on MFP : Light house cleaning, whining posters lookin to be obviously Cosigned or pitied (not to impune the OP,IJS) are two of the biggest.I honestly feel that its best to tell these women like it is cause there will be 20 commentors that will rub them on the back and make the pain go away but some of you need a dose of reality and a proverbial kick in the dating pants. If that makes me the *kitten* of the group I'll be that.
I am not sure anyone should feel that is a "role" that needs to be taken but regardless there are ways to express a point with courtesy and tact while still being clear.
And yes I can fail at that as easily as anyone,Internet conversations get muddied at times and fast paced.
Just that before a person hits "POST REPLY" perhaps it is best to take a moment a read it back while considering if the actual tone is going to be productive to the desired result.
That is my point, to be persuasive I choose to be a little caustic cause we have reached a point of political correctness in society that to be disagreeable is to be assine. I'm choosing with the limited time I spend in these forums to give a contrarian view cause I believe that 90% of the comments on these post are just long drawn out diatribes basically saying " its not you girl its him" or "your awesome don't worry about it" and don't I feel they are very substantive or helpful to anyone.
However I will try to choose my words better so that no one will perceive my comments as a personal attack that isnt my intent, but I may choose to attack your post. Hopefully this will not get misconstrued .0 -
Ok I apologize for calling the OP a narcissist. But I usually use Blunt tools in speech to get a point of addressing my pet peeves on MFP : Light house cleaning, whining posters lookin to be obviously Cosigned or pitied (not to impune the OP,IJS) are two of the biggest.I honestly feel that its best to tell these women like it is cause there will be 20 commentors that will rub them on the back and make the pain go away but some of you need a dose of reality and a proverbial kick in the dating pants. If that makes me the *kitten* of the group I'll be that.
I am not sure anyone should feel that is a "role" that needs to be taken but regardless there are ways to express a point with courtesy and tact while still being clear.
And yes I can fail at that as easily as anyone,Internet conversations get muddied at times and fast paced.
Just that before a person hits "POST REPLY" perhaps it is best to take a moment a read it back while considering if the actual tone is going to be productive to the desired result.
That is my point, to be persuasive I choose to be a little caustic cause we have reached a point of political correctness in society that to be disagreeable is to be assine. I'm choosing with the limited time I spend in these forums to give a contrarian view cause I believe that 90% of the comments on these post are just long drawn out diatribes basically saying " its not you girl its him" or "your awesome don't worry about it" and don't I feel they are very substantive or helpful to anyone.
However I will try to choose my words better so that no one will perceive my comments as a personal attack that isnt my intent, but I may choose to attack your post. Hopefully this will not get misconstrued .
I think you need to do a bit of research on how to be persuasive. First lesson: it isn't by putting someone on the defensive. Second lesson: it isn't by alienating every single other person against you for being rude. Pay attention to politicians, the only people that appreciate a politician that does this is a person that already agreed with that politician. That method only serves to aggravate people who oppose.
Like Carl said, there's a way to disagree with someone without being rude.
On that note, if you honestly think 90% of the comments on these boards are people coddling each other then you should pay attention because you are obviously not actually reading most of the posts. We all disagree with each other all the time.0 -
Ok I apologize for calling the OP a narcissist. But I usually use Blunt tools in speech to get a point of addressing my pet peeves on MFP : Light house cleaning, whining posters lookin to be obviously Cosigned or pitied (not to impune the OP,IJS) are two of the biggest.I honestly feel that its best to tell these women like it is cause there will be 20 commentors that will rub them on the back and make the pain go away but some of you need a dose of reality and a proverbial kick in the dating pants. If that makes me the *kitten* of the group I'll be that.
I am not sure anyone should feel that is a "role" that needs to be taken but regardless there are ways to express a point with courtesy and tact while still being clear.
And yes I can fail at that as easily as anyone,Internet conversations get muddied at times and fast paced.
Just that before a person hits "POST REPLY" perhaps it is best to take a moment a read it back while considering if the actual tone is going to be productive to the desired result.
That is my point, to be persuasive I choose to be a little caustic cause we have reached a point of political correctness in society that to be disagreeable is to be assine. I'm choosing with the limited time I spend in these forums to give a contrarian view cause I believe that 90% of the comments on these post are just long drawn out diatribes basically saying " its not you girl its him" or "your awesome don't worry about it" and don't I feel they are very substantive or helpful to anyone.
However I will try to choose my words better so that no one will perceive my comments as a personal attack that isnt my intent, but I may choose to attack your post. Hopefully this will not get misconstrued .
I am not trying to be argumentative because I get the theory of where you are coming from but I don't believe that you actually read the replies to my original post. If you had, you would have seen very little coddling and more genuine advice about how I should have handled things differently. I am 100% okay with differing opinions and that was what I was looking for. Instead I received a personal attack by someone who doesn't know me at all.0 -
IMHO - don't give him anymore attention, he's getting off with it and us being frustrated. It's not worth it.
NEXT. 0 -
Dave, you were very rude but I'm glad you agree you should tone it down. We are all humans behind the computer screens here and over the last few months, through the regular activity in peeps, we've all become virtual friends. Where possible, a lot of us have met IRL, and I'm sure a lot more of us would meet if logistics weren't an issue. Would you speak like that to a friend IRL?
Anyway, back to Megs:We talked a bit last night and it seems that he was pulling away because the ship he is on will be in and out of port over the next two months and he won't have a lot of time. He said that he wants see me when he can but he was concerned that I would get weird (his word) because we wouldn't be able to spend much time together and that if I wanted to call it off he understood. I told him that we would just see where it goes and as long as he communicated stuff I was good. He said okay and we moved on to talk about other stuff.
Meh, I do really like him and he seems to feel the same. But, I am starting to see why he has never married or been in any real long term relationships. So we shall see I guess.
Cool that you talked. That's indicative that you like each other :bigsmile: But I keep coming back to that word 'compatibility' (or lack of..) and I get the impression that you need quite a bit of intimacy/contact/reassurance from the man in your life, so I'm not sure he's going to be right for you long term?
The last real relationship I had ended up in a row over regularity of contact. So I'm a lot like you, I feel that if I'm seeing someone, I need to be in contact with them regularly. He didnt feel the same, and he shouted at me for whining about it, so I told him to go f*** himself. We just weren't compatible!
But anyway, suck it and see!! Perhaps you'll find a good compromise :flowerforyou:0
