Cheaters

HealthyNFit4Life

I have an interesting story. I just went on an Israel trip with 40 people, none of who knew each other. About a quarter of the people were in relationship with people from back home. NONE of the guys cheated on their girlfriends while on the trip. Most of the girls cheated on their boyfriends while on the trip. It restored my faith in men!!!!!

christine24t

Ah how was the trip??!

That is great, glad to hear it! There are plenty of good men out there!

DMZ_1

I am not surprised with that ratio of male to female cheaters at all.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1211104/Think-men-unfaithful-sex-A-study-shows-WOMEN-biggest-cheats--theyre-just-better-lying-it.html

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/women-cheating-men-study/story?id=13885519

AnnaPixie

I have an interesting story. I just went on an Israel trip with 40 people, none of who knew each other. About a quarter of the people were in relationship with people from back home. NONE of the guys cheated on their girlfriends while on the trip. Most of the girls cheated on their boyfriends while on the trip. It restored my faith in men!!!!!

Hmmm! Cheats everywhere. Its sad really :huh:

So did YOU meet anyone? :bigsmile:

HealthyNFit4Life

The trip was INCREDIBLE. There are no words to describe it. I did not meet anyone. Met a lot of Israeli guys at a bar, but that doesn't count.

calvert6183

Im going to tell you all something. Women are the cheaters and players today. WOmen cheat for attention and men cehat for sex . Most women never get enough attention. Now with marriage, men still cheat more but not married women cheat more. The stats dont explain why women cheat more but I do know that women in general are usually unhappy and always have a line of penis lined up in their iPhones. Sexting, sending nudies, and kissing is cheating too. Women love to do that stuff and when they are ignored, bored, or unhappy, guess what, we are so replaced by one single text. Older women dont cheat as much as the younger ones. If you are a younger woman and dont cheat, good for you, guess what? Most are not like you. I used to date only church women and every single one I was in a relationship with cheated so no you are looing in the wrong places comments.

My life was ruined by these cheaters and every single guy i know or meet has been cheated on multiple times. QUit taking up for women, most are cheaters, accept it and deal with it. I have almost 600 friends as females and most are in relationships but you would never know it. I think facebook and smartphones are the blame for most of this. Its so easy to replace people and create a fake life and people get sad if their real life is not like others on facebook or tv stars. Smartphones cause people to not talk anymore and be ignored. Go to a restaurant on a sat night and see how many women are on their phones while the guy is bored. On another note, men, quit being wusses and dressing like women and being so sensitive. No wonder women cheat on you. Men cheat too but not as much, we just dont have the options women do and also generally bad boys are the ones who cheat and play so stop chasing bad boys.

Am I bitter, yes, when you have lost so many years, humiliation, left my family and friends to move there to help with her dad's business because he had a heart attack (I saved the family business and got cheated on for it), and tens of thousands of dollars on cheaters, then you would be too. Nothing is ever good enough. I typed this from my iPhone so if I have improper grammar and it bothers you, good, im now smiling. The only women I find that dont seem too cheat is doctors, pageant, and other career driven women. Sorry but they dont have time nor are boys their hobby

christine24t

The stats dont explain why women cheat more but I do know that women in general are usually unhappy and always have a line of penis lined up in their iPhones.

This is kind of a generalization...

My life was ruined by these cheaters

Why let one person hurt you so much? Don't let people hold that power over you. You can love them and be in pain from it, but don't say it "ruined"' your life, because if someone ruined your life that bad you let them have too much power over you.

Am I bitter, yes, when you have lost so many years, humiliation, left my family and friends to move there to help with her dad's business because he had a heart attack (I saved the family business and got cheated on for it)

That was really nice of you to do that, but I wouldn't say that you saved the business and got cheated on for it. You are linking two different events together. There are sucky people out there. Sure. Maybe reevaluate the women you are attracted to, if this keeps happening to you over and over. Maybe you are going for the wrong woman.

calvert6183

The only thing is its not just one person its pretty much every woman ive dated. Most of my friends are female and I dont know one who doesnt cheat. Why defend them, goo date a few women and see how that works out for you.

christine24t

The only thing is its not just one person its pretty much every woman ive dated. Most of my friends are female and I dont know one who doesnt cheat. Why defend them, goo date a few women and see how that works out for you.

Well clearly you're not friends with the right women. And women who hang out together are very similar oftentimes, so if one girl's personality is like that, her friends will be. I am not surprised they all cheat, because they have similar personalities.

I have a ton of girlfriends and not one has ever cheated on their boyfriends. You deserve better friends! Why are you friends with them if you dislike their behavior so much?

calvert6183

Im g lad u dont cheat but im going with the stats and experience. I dont know what your friends look like but try to understand, that may be true in your group but its not the norm. The key is to find one that has self esteem and confidence which most have issues with , that is fact. There are good women out there, im no way saying women who cheat are bad, good people cheat too. I bet ya if I looked at your friend's phone, I would see messages or texts that is flirty with other guys. I hate when women have to try to prove they dont, my friends are good women but they get hit on so much and they give into temptation. Im not saying anything bad about you but im going to side with the stats and studies and experience and its shows me and the original poster see what it is, women cheat alot.

Until you date one and try to make one happy, you will never understand how it. Also alot of people dont see cheating either, look at how many chick flicks have the woman star cheat and then end up back with the good guy after cheating on him. Kissing other men is cheating. Even the holy chick flick twilight, she kissed that other guy too while with the other guy. Most never noticed it but it happened. Just cause you dont look for it doesnt mean it doesnt exist.

Not sure if this makes a difference but it seems worse in the city. Me and pretty much all my guy friends lost so much over women, its just not right how people use and throw people away. It doesnt help when people have idols like Kim Kardashian, Jersey Shore idiots, and so many more reality tv stars who are trashy and glamorous for cheating. Its teaching people its normal and ok.

christine24t

I can't even say anything about that except for:

1) Why do you assume that EVERY woman cheats? Again, just because you know girls who cheat doesn't mean all girls cheat.
2) None of my friends that I know flirt with other men via text when they're dating a guy seriously. Not one of them.
3) The original poster said nothing about women cheating, she was discussing men cheating, and in fact, not one of the men on her trip cheated on their girlfriends...not sure where that came from?
4) Movies are simply movies. They have nothing to do with real life. Get that idea out of your head.
5) I'm from the city too and so are my friends so that hasn't nothing to do with it.
6) You are going to be alone for the rest of your life if you can't give this idea up. How about you give everyone the benefit of the doubt unless they give you reason not to trust them? I don't mean to be mean, but it seems like you have a massive vendetta against women and are using this excuse to avoid them and blame them for ruining your life, when you make your own decisions and choices.

r1ghtpath

there was a study done a couple years ago of who out of three people would be most likely to cheat, i know one was a guy that traveled a lot for work, then there was a guy in his 40s, so mid life crisis time.. and third was a stay at home mom.

the stay at home mom was the most likely to cheat, because she felt neglected by hubby and overworked by house and kids. it was actually pretty interesting.

DMZ_1

Women are the cheaters and players today.

There's validity to this line of thinking. Every time I'm on an early stage date, the thought that the woman is dating multiple guys at this stage is going through my mind and more than likely she has more options than I do.

I do know that women in general are usually unhappy and always have a line of penis lined up in their iPhones.

Women use antidepressants more than men do (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/16/women-and-prescription-drug-use_n_1098023.html ). That alone doesn't mean that women are usually unhappy, but it is an interesting indicator. The other thing that it could indicate is that women seek treatment for depression through prescriptions more often than men.

The more attractive a woman, the more options she's going to have. This is very true for women under 45. But there are lesser attractive with plenty of options. As a man, it is your relationship to gauge a woman on her character and do your best to associate with someone reliable, trustworthy and honest.

Go to a restaurant on a sat night and see how many women are on their phones while the guy is bored. On another note, men, quit being wusses and dressing like women and being so sensitive. No wonder women cheat on you. Men cheat too but not as much, we just dont have the options women do and also generally bad boys are the ones who cheat and play so stop chasing bad boys.

There's a problem with women fiddling on their phones during dates. That's rude. I've seen it happen. But also men fiddle on phones too. Many people need to learn to be more in the moment.

It is best as a man to adopt the characteristics of bad boys that women find most irresistible.

christine24t

There's a problem with women fiddling on their phones during dates. That's rude. I've seen it happen. But also men fiddle on phones too. Many people need to learn to be more in the moment.

Go to a restaurant on a sat night and see how many women are on their phones while the guy is bored.

If someone is fiddling with their phone, call them out on it if you think it is rude.

You get what you demand. If you demand respect, you will get it. Everyone has to stop blaming the other person.

You cannot change anyone else, but you can change your own behavior.

farmers_daughter

Calvert...my heart is heavy for u. I can understand that pain. I hope that one day u can set that pain free and love again. As lomg as we learn from our experiences WE are the ones that are better for it not the ones that dealt us the sh!tty hand.

Ill be thinkin of ya next time I got the big man on the line I mean that

toots99

There's a problem with women fiddling on their phones during dates. That's rude. I've seen it happen. But also men fiddle on phones too. Many people need to learn to be more in the moment.

Go to a restaurant on a sat night and see how many women are on their phones while the guy is bored.

If someone is fiddling with their phone, call them out on it if you think it is rude.

You get what you demand. If you demand respect, you will get it. Everyone has to stop blaming the other person.

You cannot change anyone else, but you can change your own behavior.

100% agree. Don't let people treat you that way, and if they do, get rid of them.

pa_jorg

oops, duplicate post

pa_jorg

Wow guys, jaded much!? :noway:

Calvert, by a certain age most of us have had a few heartbreaks. Does that mean we should assume that every single person of the opposite gender is going to do the exact same thing to us? No. You seem to be making very broad statements about women because of a few bad apples who cheated.

I don't condone cheating or think that as many women cheat as you seem to think, but if you're going to start blaming the majority of the female gender for generalized cheating, then perhaps the question needs to be turned around to ask what the male gender can do to keep them satisfied so they don't cheat?

Women are the cheaters and players today.

There's validity to this line of thinking. Every time I'm on an early stage date, the thought that the woman is dating multiple guys at this stage is going through my mind and more than likely she has more options than I do.

I'm not clear on this point because on this very board we all discuss how we shouldn't focus on one person until or unless there is some sort of 'exclusivity' talk. So, saying you're worried she has more options sounds as if you're jealous rather than understanding the reality that most of us as singles (BOTH genders) are speaking to multiple people to avoid the pitfalls of poofers and those we are not compatible with.
[/quote]

christine24t

Wow guys, jaded much!? :noway:

Calvert, by a certain age most of us have had a few heartbreaks. Does that mean we should assume that every single person of the opposite gender is going to do the exact same thing to us? No. You seem to be making very broad statements about women because of a few bad apples who cheated.

Thank you finally someone with common sense!!!

There's validity to this line of thinking. Every time I'm on an early stage date, the thought that the woman is dating multiple guys at this stage is going through my mind and more than likely she has more options than I do.

I'm not clear on this point because on this very board we all discuss how we shouldn't focus on one person until or unless there is some sort of 'exclusivity' talk. So, saying you're worried she has more options sounds as if you're jealous rather than understanding the reality that most of us as singles (BOTH genders) are speaking to multiple people to avoid the pitfalls of poofers and those we are not compatible with.

Honestly, who has these "multiple guys/girls" that everyone speaks of? I keep hearing about this, that people date more than one person at a time and I have not once ever met someone who has done this. Sure, it could happen, but I think it's honestly rare.

And since you're not exclusive, DM, it's not cheating...if you want to only date her tell her. But don't say she's cheating cause she's not.

toots99

Wow guys, jaded much!? :noway:

Calvert, by a certain age most of us have had a few heartbreaks. Does that mean we should assume that every single person of the opposite gender is going to do the exact same thing to us? No. You seem to be making very broad statements about women because of a few bad apples who cheated.

Thank you finally someone with common sense!!!

There's validity to this line of thinking. Every time I'm on an early stage date, the thought that the woman is dating multiple guys at this stage is going through my mind and more than likely she has more options than I do.

I'm not clear on this point because on this very board we all discuss how we shouldn't focus on one person until or unless there is some sort of 'exclusivity' talk. So, saying you're worried she has more options sounds as if you're jealous rather than understanding the reality that most of us as singles (BOTH genders) are speaking to multiple people to avoid the pitfalls of poofers and those we are not compatible with.

Honestly, who has these "multiple guys/girls" that everyone speaks of? I keep hearing about this, that people date more than one person at a time and I have not once ever met someone who has done this. Sure, it could happen, but I think it's honestly rare.

And since you're not exclusive, DM, it's not cheating...if you want to only date her tell her. But don't say she's cheating cause she's not.

I don't think he was implying that she's cheating by dating a few men in the initial dating stage, he was just stating a fact that at that time it's not exclusive.

christine24t

I don't think he was implying that she's cheating by dating a few men in the initial dating stage, he was just stating a fact that at that time it's not exclusive.

Maybe I did read into it wrong lol but I also have to bring up the point that men, you think it's okay to date more than one woman at once but if she dates more than one man at once she is a player? C'mon!

100% agree. Don't let people treat you that way, and if they do, get rid of them.

Exactly.

DMZ_1

I don't think he was implying that she's cheating by dating a few men in the initial dating stage, he was just stating a fact that at that time it's not exclusive.

There's no cheating implied because there is no exclusivity at that point.

christine24t

I don't think he was implying that she's cheating by dating a few men in the initial dating stage, he was just stating a fact that at that time it's not exclusive.

There's no cheating implied because there is no exclusivity at that point.

Okay good, sorry I read your post wrong. I was gonna say...

pa_jorg

I don't think he was implying that she's cheating by dating a few men in the initial dating stage, he was just stating a fact that at that time it's not exclusive.

I agree with you here, but my initial point was that I sense jealousy more than anything.

julesboots

Honestly, who has these "multiple guys/girls" that everyone speaks of? I keep hearing about this, that people date more than one person at a time and I have not once ever met someone who has done this. Sure, it could happen, but I think it's honestly rare.

I have a few male friends (guys in their 40s) dating multiples via online dating, and they always just assume I'm dating multiples, too. Not the case. Yuck. I'm sure this happens more in urban areas-more choices and more anonymity.

DMZ_1

Women are the cheaters and players today.

There's validity to this line of thinking. Every time I'm on an early stage date, the thought that the woman is dating multiple guys at this stage is going through my mind and more than likely she has more options than I do.

I'm not clear on this point because on this very board we all discuss how we shouldn't focus on one person until or unless there is some sort of 'exclusivity' talk. So, saying you're worried she has more options sounds as if you're jealous rather than understanding the reality that most of us as singles (BOTH genders) are speaking to multiple people to avoid the pitfalls of poofers and those we are not compatible with.

[/quote]

I actually think it would be better if both men and women stopped the whole dating a few people at a time before going exclusive to one. I think dating one person at a time is a better model. There'd be a keener focus on quality if this were the way things worked. Too many people (both genders) have the mindset of focusing on quantity, and I think quality suffers.

The last few sentences will never happen though.

newmein2013

.
Until you date one and try to make one happy, you will never understand how it.
Not sure if this makes a difference but it seems worse in the city. Me and pretty much all my guy friends lost so much over women, its just not right how people use and throw people away.

It's never easy knowing you've been cheated on. My best suggestion to you is that you stop trying so hard to please the women. If you have to try that hard, it's not worth it. Let them accept you for who you are. You don't need to be a savior. I think it's really great what you did for the one girl and her family but in the future, things like that should be a red flag.

Prahasaurus

Well then, with whom did the girls cheat? With other girls? How do you know the guys they cheated with are not married, or in a relationship with someone else? Ergo, those guys were cheating, too.

And knowing Israeli society, it's more traditional. Women are less likely to sleep with you, having just met you. Men, on the other hand, are more aggressive, and will definitely view female tourists as prime targets.. So the men on your trip definitely had fewer options.

--P

newmein2013

There's validity to this line of thinking. Every time I'm on an early stage date, the thought that the woman is dating multiple guys at this stage is going through my mind and more than likely she has more options than I do.

I actually think it would be better if both men and women stopped the whole dating a few people at a time before going exclusive to one. I think dating one person at a time is a better model. There'd be a keener focus on quality if this were the way things worked. Too many people (both genders) have the mindset of focusing on quantity, and I think quality suffers.

The last few sentences will never happen though.

Just last night a friend of mine was trying to have me meet a guy from POF, She's working on 2 & this 3rd for me. The poor guy is confused, really, she's not doing well explaining the situation. I'm not interested though. I just can't get into it. She's trying hard to convince me though, lol. Anyway, I agree with you 100%. however, nothing will change, you're right. But I do think that you shouldn't feel as though the women have a better chance b/c if the chemistry isn't there in the 1st or 2nd meet, there's really no point going any further. At least that's my opinion. So I say, don't sweat it. Just go have a good time and be yourself.

farmers_daughter

Too many people view things as disposable these days.....problem solved.

"Oh...she made me mad that i couldnt do xyz...ill show her...theres plenty more fish in the sea...NEXT"

"He never shows me affection anymore i want what sally and joe have...he treats her so much better than my bf does. Theres someone out there that will treat me the way i deserve."

Somewhere alomg the way someone said "you deserve"......that killed any chance of couples trying to work things out.
They also said do what makes you happy.....its funny nobody really talks about making their significant other happy or at least yrying to. They were told do what makes YOU happy. YOU YOU YOU. lol

im way too old fashioned

pa_jorg

Too many people view things as disposable these days.....problem solved.

"Oh...she made me mad that i couldnt do xyz...ill show her...theres plenty more fish in the sea...NEXT"

"He never shows me affection anymore i want what sally and joe have...he treats her so much better than my bf does. Theres someone out there that will treat me the way i deserve."

Somewhere alomg the way someone said "you deserve"......that killed any chance of couples trying to work things out.
They also said do what makes you happy.....its funny nobody really talks about making their significant other happy or at least yrying to. They were told do what makes YOU happy. YOU YOU YOU. lol

im way too old fashioned

OMG this is soooo true!