Is advise here worth much?

dbrightwell1270

I ask this because one poster recently asked if there was a disconnect between MFP and reality. She had been constantly been told that she was attractive on here but received very few views and no responses to any emails she sent at online dating sites. I also saw a post where a guy asked women's opinions on shirtless pics. The consensus was that it was weird unless it was in the context of everyday life. Last night, I changed my profile pic on POF to the one I have here on MFP. In the approximately 14 hours since then, I have received 4 messages and the number of first-time viewers is about 30% of the total number of first-time views.

farmers_daughter

I ask this because one poster recently asked if there was a disconnect between MFP and reality. She had been constantly been told that she was attractive on here but received very few views and no responses to any emails she sent at online dating sites.

MFP'ers I feel are a little more lenient, and want to praise you up rather than pick apart every little thing that's wrong with you.
In the dating world I feel like if a guy finds me attractive with everything except my hair color for example, he will lean on the side of not attractive, because there are many more for example blonde or black haired girls out there.

Last night, I changed my profile pic on POF to the one I have here on MFP. In the approximately 14 hours since then, I have received 4 messages and the number of first-time viewers is about 30% of the total number of first-time views.

Trigger photos for females (this isn't scientific, just gathered from quite a few different conversations):
If you have a cowboy hat on
If you show a shirtless pic and are pretty spiffy under there
If you have a vehicle of some sorts
If you have an animal (not necessarily a snake or lizard, something furry and cute)
If you wear a button up shirt/dress shirt or a polo with stripes - that one was a little off but it still made the list
Things like that trigger a female to click on a profile before they even get a real glimpse of the guy

I hate to say it but girls in that fact are very visual and curious creatures.

Edit: hit reply too soon

I wouldn't discount any advice, but you can always post somethign and if you don't believe the replies you get you can PM someone and ask if they would have said something different had it not been publicly posted in front of everyone I suppose

Roadie2000

This place is what it is. Most people come here for support, and half the time that's exactly what they get. People will post their opinions but it may not always be the same opinion as the general population, so you have to take it for what it's worth. Also if you check out the "Rate the person above you" thread in the chit chat forum, 90% of the people are are rated about an 8 or higher. So there's definitely some disconnect from reality there.

I'm not a woman so I can't comment on mens shirtless pics (I think they're douchey as hell, but my opinion counts very little). But I can comment on the women in bikini pics. They come off as a little slutty. They make me want to email them a pic of my junk. Of course I will look, what straight man doesn't like pics of hot chicks in bikinis? Is it somebody I want to date? Well, I like my women with a little bit more class.

On here it's fine though, show off your hard work. But if you're looking to date a half decent guy, don't post half naked pictures of yourself and then wonder why every guy that emails you only wants sex.

Lonewolf1507

There is one other aspect difference between the two web sites, not being disrespectful to those that use dating sites, but the reason for using them is to meet someone to spend a lot of time with. Whereas here most of us are trying to improve the way we look, feel, eat and to improve our health. There are a lot of very attractive people on MFP (photographs) and there are others that choose to not show themselves with picture form but you read what they say to others and you can see the beauty from inside them.

Now coming from one of the ugly duckling class of 65 (see profile picture) when someone compliments me I usually take it with a pinch of salt. But this has been happening a bit more often recently so I am starting to believe something is changing, will they drag me off to have their way with me, Naahh I don't think so :laugh:

Andy

AnnaPixie

Advice? Take it or leave it. Any advice from anyone is only a personal opinion. Even my close friends dont always heed my advice, nor I theirs. So I'm sure the value of opinion on here is just as good, bad or indifferent.

:flowerforyou:

MissingMinnesota

looks wise on MFP people tend to "bigger is better" and calling everyone beautiful because we want to lift eachother up but the real world most people on here are average looking, me included (no I am not looking for compliments). If you are over a size 8/10 on most dating sites you might get views but you will get a lot less messages then someone that is smaller. It doesn't matter how active you say you are in your profile as most people will not read the profile if you are larger because the stereotype is larger = lazy. Men and women are visual creatures anyone that say different is lying.

Adivce should always be taken with a grain of salt.

The_Iron

People like eye candy.

People like to hate on eye candy.

Also, people are fickle.

end of line.

JanieJack

IDK if it's worth much, but it's certainly entertaining :bigsmile:






I will say, though, much of the advice given here seems to contradict what I've observed in real life, though that might be because I'm involved in a different segment of culture than most people in this forum.

NCTravellingGirl

I think the advice is worthwhile to a point. You also have to be realistic, know yourself, and know your options. On one hand, I get a ton of encouragement, and it's helped me get out there more than I would have without it. On the other, I've learned the hard way that no matter how many people here tell you how awesome you are, reality for a lot of us looks very different.

I actually get more out of the experiences, tips, and suggestions than just people's opinions. I tried it out several times on my vacation, trying to make eye contact or take some initiative. Still suck at it but it's in my head a lot more before of Single Peeps! Saw this guy one morning with his buddies at breakfast on my cruise. As luck would have it, we ended up on the same excursion that morning and ended up sitting right next to each other on the catamaran. I just couldn't work up the nerve to talk to him though... THANK God he finally butted into the conversation with my friends and before I knew it, we were up on deck drinking and Wobbling, haha! So I didn't use the advice here at first, but it kept kicking me to be different...Progress anyway so I appreciate my PEEPS!