Welcome

WillPowerYes

Hello. I've created this group as a support for those of us who have the added stress of being a loving caregiver. It is so easy to just put our own needs aside. My focus for myself is on losing weight, I'm about half way to my goal. Do you need a place to decompress each day? Let's help each other through our stressful days, while giving thought to our own goals.

terryanne1

Hi,
My name is Terry Anne and I am a caregiver to my friend who is suffering from pacreatic cancer, with mets to her liver. I take her to all her Dr. and chemo appts, often re-arranging my work schedule to fit them in. The people I work with have been amazing, trading shifts, covering for me and all around support.
I woke up one morning and decided that I had to lose the extra 40lbs I had put on. I'm down 20 and would like to lose another 20.
This site is fabulous with all the support you receive from others trying to do the same thing.
Thanks for starting this group - it will be a nice place to discuss the stresses of weight loss and caregiving.

m23gm25

Hello. I am caregiver to my husband. We moved here to the high desert of Oregon 2 yrs ago. At that time he was already disabled from a very bad back injury but could still care for hisself and get around and work around the property. We built a very big yard area together and we were very happy. That winter he seemed to start failing on me. He just sat around watching tv and napping. By summer he slept 85% of the time then he satrted falling and stumbling. Finally got him to go to ER one day and it turned out that his brain was bleeding. He had surgery and was in hosp. for a month. Then a month of outpatient rehab. Well he has never got back to his old self and has had 2 more emergency surgeries since then and he just had cataract surgery and has another to go. He is diabetic and takes a boat load of meds and he is also being evaluated for sleep apnea. So now I find myself having to do all the work around here by myself - housework and yard work and taking care of hubby and 3 dogs and the finances which are real hard because I can't go to work anymore. And all the while I feel like I live alone because he still sleeps most of the time. I look into the future and I don't like what I see. This was not how we planned our retirement would be.:ohwell:

WillPowerYes

TerryAnne, I feel for your stress in helping a cancer patient. My husband has cancer, and it definitely shakes the world for the patient as well as family and friends. In my adult years, I now find I am a stress-eater. So I packed on about 20 pounds too many. I’ve lost half of it, and am looking forward to us supporting each other so that I have another way of handling stress … hitting the keyboard instead of the refrigerator!

M23gm25, I can relate, I was not prepared for having to face the challenges of an ill husband while we are both young(ish) in our minds and newly retirement. My husband had an earlier very successful recovery from a major back injury, but now has a new health concern that has a totally different set of rules. I find that I have been reworking our yard, slowly, so that it is more manageable for me during the times that my husband is not able to help out as much. It is hard for me, but I know even harder for HIM to not be able to do it himself. One benefit though is that yardwork is good exercise (the "silver lining" that is sometimes so hard to identify).

Ladies, please keep in touch here.

m23gm25

I find the hardest thing is that I miss doing things together. We were always best friends and did everything together. Whatever project and now it's just me. I try to share what I'm doing with Phil but every time I turn around he's asleep. Then I find myself looking for comfort food.

TNFirefly

Glad to know you Terryanne and m23.
My name is Marie, and I am 39, caregiver to my mom who has Parkinsons with dementia. I am married with 4 kids and various pets. I don't have a lot to say right now, but will post a lot later. We are headed to bed now.

smiheart

Hi! I have been a caregiver for members of my family. I started at nine years old and have been doing it for other people and their kids, the elderly in a nursing home,and mentally disabled children from age 8 months to upper teens. Have been in the nursing profession going on over 20 yrs. and have been a caregiver to my mother for the past 25 years. This has been my past,present and future! Mind you I love my mother and would do anything for her to make her older years as stressless as possible. Have any of you ever felt you just wanted to run away? Signed smiheart

WillPowerYes

I find the hardest thing is that I miss doing things together. We were always best friends and did everything together. Whatever project and now it's just me. I try to share what I'm doing with Phil but every time I turn around he's asleep. Then I find myself looking for comfort food.

We need to find something else for you to turn to besides seeking comfort food. (Or, at least to replace your idea of comfort food with something low calorie.)

Do you enjoy any sort of artwork or craft? Knitting or sewing? Something that keeps your hands busy (reading and TV don't keep the hands busy). Heck, even getting some inexpensive Playdough and doing a few minutes of just fun sculpting could help divert your attention, and cleanup is instant.

Humm, maybe we need to start a Playdough Therapy Group. Ha.

WillPowerYes

Hi! I have been a caregiver for members of my family. I started at nine years old and have been doing it for other people and their kids, the elderly in a nursing home,and mentally disabled children from age 8 months to upper teens. Have been in the nursing profession going on over 20 yrs. and have been a caregiver to my mother for the past 25 years. This has been my past,present and future! Mind you I love my mother and would do anything for her to make her older years as stressless as possible. Have any of you ever felt you just wanted to run away? Signed smiheart

Gosh, I cannot imagine having had a lifetime of caregiving. I can see why you feel like escaping. When I need to mentally escape, I try to do something totally by myself for an hour or so, like gardening in the coolness of the afternoon shade. Is there something you could do "at home" that helps you feel detached from the constant responsibilities?

WillPowerYes

Glad to know you Terryanne and m23.
My name is Marie, and I am 39, caregiver to my mom who has Parkinsons with dementia. I am married with 4 kids and various pets. I don't have a lot to say right now, but will post a lot later. We are headed to bed now.

Please jump in when you have thoughts or questions. Decompressing by communicating is good for all of us.

terryanne1

I'm glad to be able to get to know all of you as well.
My husband also suffers from chronic back pain as well as other ailments and also spends a lot of time sleeping. He is, however, still able to help out with the gardens when he has good days. It can be frustrating when there is so much work to do around the house and yard and the help is minimal but working in the gardens myself helps to relieve some of the stress. Also, I have a dog who loves to go for long walks; we have a beautiful wooded area and the small creek fills up with water after large rains and she loves to run in the water. This makes her very happy and always makes me smile.
It's important to take time for ourselves, a little time to forget about our caregiving and stresses.
My friend with cancer also has 2 dogs and when she has good days, comes for the walks as well. I always feel like I'm nagging her about her meds and drinking water, so dog walking gives us a chance to forget about everything for a little while and enjoy the dogs and sunshine.
I hope that you all can take some times for yourselves and enjoy something that takes your minds off of your daily toils.

marikevr

Got tears in my eyes when I saw this. It is good to know we are not alone.
My mom has kidney failure and is on dialysis. She is very frail and moved in with us a couple of months ago. She needs a lot of help, but at least she is still able to be on her own for bits. I have a lady who helps her during the day when I'm at work.

My kids have accepted our situation, although it broke my heart when my son asked me a couple of weeks ago if I had time for him.

Meals are a challenge, she is on a very specialised diet (for both diabetes and the kidney disease) and we eat what she eats. Just too much work to prepare two meals.

Running is my coping mechanism. If not for that I probably would not be in a good space.

Ktenney

Hi Everyone,

I am very excited that i have found a caregivers support group. I currently take care of my husband. He is on home dialysis 4-5 times a week. We have been married 11 yrs and I have been through about 20 surgeries/procedures with him. Two Major ones and the rest minor. He has only one kidney and in the wrong place. He needed to loose 15 lbs and than they would put him on the transplant list, he currently has lost 25 and will not call until he has lost all the weight required for the transplant. There is also the penitential of taking care of my dad as he needs a kidney too and is going through the process of getting onto home dialysis. I am also recovering from a broken ankle. Two years ago I was doing really well and felt great, i had been going to i curves and had lost a lot of weight. I stepped off of a rock and twisted and sprained my ankle. After my ankle fractures healed i was still having problems and found out I broke the cartilage in my ankle.I basically have a hole in my ankle bone where you put 80% of your weight when you walk. Cartilage is very hard to grow back, you are born with the amount you will need for the rest of your life. I am too young to have my ankle replaced or for them to fuse my ankle, they could go in and do a bone plug. the risks out weight the benefits. They would end up doing more damage than good. They tell me if i lose weight it would be not so painful. I am struggling with this.

I have been overweight all my life. I have been successful twice in loosing weight. I never maintained it. I am a stress,bored, because its there eater. I have finally figured out when i am doing these things an try to make myself drink water. Doesn't always work. I love MFP it keeps me honest and i can see what i am eating and where i have gone wrong. Hoping to get back on the right track and put me first.

Kim

m23gm25

Oh yes. But where would I go?

m23gm25

I like to make quilts but haven't in a long time. Maybe I'll be able to get back into it this winter.

crzyone

I have recently moved in with mom to take care of her. However, she is able to stay by herself during the day while I work (at least, for now).

I turn to food, too, for comfort, out of boredom, to break the monotony of sitting with her.

Hope you all have a good day. It is truly a blessing to have a loved one to take care of but it can be very stressful at times.

ispmom

I just joined yesterday. I havent started my diet yet just preparing for start time tomorrow. I am a caregiver for my Dad. I live with him every other week and I have been doing this for four years. I gained 25 pounds since I started and then another 15 when I quit smoking 4 months ago. I retired early from teaching to do this and it is the hardest thing I believe I have ever done. Now I am getting pretty disgusted with myself for putting on so much weight. I am ready to "give" it all I have.

m23gm25

Welcome! Sounds like a familiar story. Funny how the weight creeps on and before we know it we're looking at health problems of our own! I for one developed hypertension and diabetes. But it all started when I was still working. I was a nurse.So I've been a caregiver most of my life. Wish I knew about this web site years ago. I think the tools and the support are making a real difference for me.

marikevr

Welcome Ispmom.

For me a hard lesson to learn (still learning...) is to be able to just sometimes put my needs first. I have realised that I cannot take care of my mom if I am not mentally and physically strong. But it is hard to say: I cannot, or time out, or the worst one for me: help!

m23gm25

How are all of you doing this week? Hope everyone is remembering to take care of theirselves too. I'm having will power trouble this week. My first week went so great. But 2nd week not so well and this week I'm having even more trouble. I really need to work on portion control. That is relly a problem for me. any ideas?

bilbosgirl

Hi, I'm new to MFP. I am caregiver for my 43 yr old husband who was just diagnosed in June with brain cancer. I really need something to focus on myself and do something good for myself, I've got about 30 lbs to lose.

m23gm25

Welcome Bilbosgirl! Sorry that circumstances have brought you to our little group. I hope you have help in your endeavor. Count me as a friend. I wish for you great strength and much support. Yes do take care of yourself. It will make it easier to care for your husband. God bless you both.
Lynn

marikevr

Hi and welcome. We are here if you need a chat. Hugz.

Pataschrader

Hi all, Well I will give you a little background to my life. I was with my brother in 2003 to let him know it was ok to let go and be at peace. Followed by doing the same for my Father-In-Law that same year. Moving forward a few years I moved my parents from FL to GA to assist with their aging years in 04. My dad pasted in 2010 while on home Hospice then 9 months later an inmate tried to kill my son while he was working leaving him with a fractured skull (he was a single father of two little ones). When my dad pasted my Mom moved in with us and she quickly became a angry depressive and not my mom any more. Learning to make my life work with all that I have been given I thought I had things under control. What to my thinking my son gets married and my 90 year old Mom-in-law moves in. She has dementia. I have forgot who I am. I am in the process of needing to lose at least 40lbs and improve myself now I have to there is no turning back.

m23gm25

Welcome Pataschrader sounds like you've had your share of care giving and still do. Best thing you can do is begin to take care of yourself. You're on the right track now!

logcabin165

I'm a new poster to mfp, but not a new caregiver. My husband had a stroke 4 years ago. I am 66, he is 76. For the past 4 years, he has been paralyzed, now able to walk a bit with a cane, and he has a huge speech deficit. Can't remember my name, yes means no most of the time, actually it's always NO. Caregiving is tough in itself, even tougher for him I suppose. I gained 20 lbs when it happened, and I have taken most of that off, but it is a daily struggle. I have to stop turning to food for comfort. I wish this were a more active group, I'm hoping it will be. ~Sara

lggdrg

Is anyone in this group still active on MFP or still a caregiver?