Single Peeps!

Join

it happened

Options
Moe4572
Moe4572 Posts: 1,430 Member
in Social Groups
Last night I was to meet a guy I have been emailing/texting for awhile. We had decided to meet at 6. And he said he would come my way...he wanted a quiet place so we could talk. At 4 I texted him to confirm plans .....at 5 he responded yup...leaving now....never showed up!! I texted once to ask what he drove and no response ....then called when past 10 min late....thought maybe traffic was a problem....didn't answer ....so at 620 I left. Have not heard from him since ánd don't expect to at this point. But why confirm a date you aren't going to show up for?

So after 2+ years of online dating....I got stood up for the first time!!
«1

Replies

  • SweetBasil35
    SweetBasil35 Posts: 126 Member
    Options
    What a jerk! I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm sure there will be lots of speculation here about what could have gone wrong, but if you ask me - that's a sh*tty thing to do to someone. So unnecessary.
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
    Options
    Unless he got in a car accident en route, there's no excuse! Some people lack even the most basic sense of courtesy.
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
    Options
    Oh boooo him!! I have yet to be stood up, but there have been some gals that show extremly late... Here is a tip I learned, never order a tall beer until your date actually shows or you might be drinking it all alone.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    Options
    I'm so sorry that happened to you! I know this is NOT fact, but any time someone says they are stood up I always assume the other person is married...he probably enjoyed the flirting, etc. with absolutely no intention of follow through. Or perhaps he might have followed through but couldn't get away at the last minute? Again, just the first thing that always pops into my head, which may or may not be true.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    Options
    I am so sorry - but remember it is his loss. A friend on here posted something today about rejection (which I needed to hear as well).

    Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer

    I have found lately in the dating world (at least the men I have come across think I am too fat. Shoot they should have seen me two year ago at 320lbs!!! Or that I am thin, but not thin enough......... Really? I have not been stood up, but rejection still sucks all the same.

    Hang tough and it is his loss - because you are amazing!
  • Nerple
    Nerple Posts: 1,291 Member
    Options
    This sort of action can only be met by one responce. Tracking him down using the internet and toilet papering his house.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Options
    Standups and short notice cancellations are extremely common, as is lateness. It is part of rudeness epidemic that is becoming ever more apparent in society.

    In a way, I prefer standups and short notice cancellations to going on a date, because the type of person that would do a standup or a short notice is the kind of person that I would want nothing to do with. Also, these are the same type of people who would be more likely to have a "one & done" with you and waste your time and money as a guy. So by short circuited the process, they save me my hard earned money, which I appreciate.

    Lateness is generally unacceptable if you are talking about dating someone who is very familiar with US culture. I use the professorial rule with lateness. If you are 15 minutes late with no phone call or text msg, I leave. Good luck re-scheduling with me if that happens because I have very little tolerance for that sort of rudeness.

    I attempt to schedule dates as close to my apartment as possible to counteract the proportion of the population that is inclined to standup, give a short notice cancellation or be late. I also ask all potential dates what part of the city they live in prior to asking out, because I am somewhat fanatical about distance, as I believe two people should live close to each other for ease of scheduling. I also take into consideration their needs when proposing a date idea. It's not an exact science, but planning a date is a lot harder than it looks on the surface, and the efforts often go unacknowledged. This is not something that a lot of ladies realize, and understandably so, because unless you've been in that situation, you're not going to be aware of the intricacies involved.

    And to PJ's point about marrieds, I usually date never marrieds, and standups/short notice cancellations have happened to me. Someone does not need to be married to stand another person up.
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
    Options
    This sort of action can only be met by one responce. Tracking him down using the internet and toilet papering his house.

    This is less violent than the approach I had in mind.. But a good on nonetheless.


    You're better off! It's better for him to have done this than to have met with him and had a disaster of a date.

    Move along, you're beautiful, sweet and deserve to be treated accordingly.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    Options
    At 4 I texted him to confirm plans .....at 5 he responded yup...leaving now....never showed up!! I texted once to ask what he drove and no response ....then called when past 10 min late....thought maybe traffic was a problem....didn't answer ....so at 620 I left.

    Wow, that's pretty jerky to say he was leaving now and then never show up. Last guy that did that to me met someone else along the way. She can have him. I’ve also had guys make plans right up to day of and then canx at the last minute- often married or someone and was just enjoying the “play.” You deserve better.

    That said, given traffic/kids/whatever I probably would have at least given him til 6:30, lol! I know some people who leave if the date isn't there in 5 minutes.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    Options
    At 4 I texted him to confirm plans .....at 5 he responded yup...leaving now....never showed up!! I texted once to ask what he drove and no response ....then called when past 10 min late....thought maybe traffic was a problem....didn't answer ....so at 620 I left. Have not heard from him since ánd don't expect to at this point. But why confirm a date you aren't going to show up for?

    So after 2+ years of online dating....I got stood up for the first time!!

    This happened to me on a 2nd date. Not sure which one is worse, but hey, you and I both dodged a bullet. No excuse for that type of behaviour.

    NEXT! :flowerforyou:
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    Options
    And to PJ's point about marrieds, I usually date never marrieds, and standups/short notice cancellations have happened to me. Someone does not need to be married to stand another person up.

    I think there was some confusion here. I did not mean to imply that only married people stand others up. Just that it is always my first assumption when I hear of it happening. In other words the person is married and lying and hiding it - again that is not fact, just my first thought. And for the record, I do not and will not date anyone currently married or separated.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Options
    And to PJ's point about marrieds, I usually date never marrieds, and standups/short notice cancellations have happened to me. Someone does not need to be married to stand another person up.

    I think there was some confusion here. I did not mean to imply that only married people stand others up. Just that it is always my first assumption when I hear of it happening. In other words the person is married and lying and hiding it - again that is not fact, just my first thought. And for the record, I do not and will not date anyone currently married or separated.

    Interesting point of view, not once has that thought crossed my mind. That's the beauty of this group, we see perspectives that we may not have considered. :smile:

    My first thought is usually that the person is rude.
  • The_Iron
    The_Iron Posts: 288
    Options
    You have his phone number. Wait a month or so, perform an ANONYMOUS TEXT BOMB, then LOL.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Options
    Here is a tip I learned, never order a tall beer until your date actually shows or you might be drinking it all alone.

    Pshaw, I'm already out, I'm gonna enjoy my beer alone or not. Cheers to me!

    This is also why I bring books with me everywhere I go.

    Sorry you got stood up, people suck sometimes. It is weird that he bothered to confirm with you, but what can ya do?
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Options
    mebbe he died
  • SweetBasil35
    SweetBasil35 Posts: 126 Member
    Options
    mebbe he died

    I was dating this guy (for a year and a half), we got into a heated discussion while he was on his way over to my house. He never showed up and never called me again... or so I thought... TWO MONTHS later he tells me that he got hit in the head with a rock on his way over to my house and LOST ALL MEMORY OF ME and desperately wanted me back! WTF?! People are crazy I tell ya. :noway:
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
    Options
    mebbe he died

    I was dating this guy (for a year and a half), we got into a heated discussion while he was on his way over to my house. He never showed up and never called me again... or so I thought... TWO MONTHS later he tells me that he got hit in the head with a rock on his way over to my house and LOST ALL MEMORY OF ME and desperately wanted me back! WTF?! People are crazy I tell ya. :noway:
    I'd want to see a doctor's note on that one. :laugh:
  • SweetBasil35
    SweetBasil35 Posts: 126 Member
    Options
    mebbe he died

    I was dating this guy (for a year and a half), we got into a heated discussion while he was on his way over to my house. He never showed up and never called me again... or so I thought... TWO MONTHS later he tells me that he got hit in the head with a rock on his way over to my house and LOST ALL MEMORY OF ME and desperately wanted me back! WTF?! People are crazy I tell ya. :noway:
    I'd want to see a doctor's note on that one. :laugh:

    HA! Yeah.... "Please excuse your ex-boyfriend for being an A-hole. He was hit very hard in the head and can no longer be held accountable for being a total douche. - Dr. Strangelove"
  • The_Iron
    The_Iron Posts: 288
    Options
    mebbe he died

    I was dating this guy (for a year and a half), we got into a heated discussion while he was on his way over to my house. He never showed up and never called me again... or so I thought... TWO MONTHS later he tells me that he got hit in the head with a rock on his way over to my house and LOST ALL MEMORY OF ME and desperately wanted me back! WTF?! People are crazy I tell ya. :noway:

    Hey now... that was a true story! :laugh:
  • Moe4572
    Moe4572 Posts: 1,430 Member
    Options
    Thanks all it was odd for sure, and there of course there is the possibility of a car accident, but that "supposedly" already happened to me where I was supposed to meet guy for second date, talked to him all morning and then nothing....about a month later he texted me and told me he totaled his car, was in hospital, etc. so HIGHLY unlikely that would happen to me again even though different guy :wink:

    It is all good, even though I was irritated I definitely dont want that type of person around.

    My 3 dates in 4 days dwindled down to one...............the one I had Saturday night, i cancelled Monday, and then got stood up last night. Glad Iliked the guy from Saturday ..................

Categories