Friday, Friday, Friday

MissingMinnesota

So it is finally Friday. What is everyone's plans for this weekend? Labor day weekend for Americans.
I actually have a very low key go with the flow weekend planed for once. It is going to feel so good not to have something planned every minute of the day.
Saturday I am taking my friend out for dinner and a movie for her birthday and sunday I have a pick up softball game but that is it. Nothing too exciting. Oh I am so happy for a weekend where I can sleep in.
The main goal this weekend is to stay as far away from uptown Charlotte and the DNC if possible. If you do watch the DNC kickoff on Saturday night watch for the band Falling Through April. The lead guitarist is a friend of mine.

jenbit

Hmmm well its my week with the kiddies so everything will be happening at my house.

Tonight Mr. Nice guy is coming over to watch movies and hang out.

Tomorrow I work then spending time with the babies. Sunday I'm weed wacking my entire yard front and back.. I dont think I'll be able to lift my arms by the time I'm done but it will be a hell of a calorie burn lol

oddyogi

I have a pretty chill weekend planned too (like normal--guess that's what happens when you get into a relationship haha). I have to work tonight until midnight (boo :frown:), then I'll probably go home and do some yoga, then go to bed. My roomie is going to Destin for the weekend for a wedding, so I'll be spending the whole Labor Day weekend with Steve probably. I foresee fishing, movies, burgers, beer, and sex. :smokin:

NCTravellingGirl

Had saved time thinking I'd possibly go out again with my date from Wednesday, but thanks to some very good advice from a fellow MFPer, I had to admit it was pointless. The guy did all the right things (well, except for the staring at my boobs part during dinner), but I literally felt repelled by the idea of kissing him. Can't grow past that SO now I'm free.

Saturday it's finally my FAVORITE time of year... COLLEGE FOOTBALL SATURDAYS are BACK! Having friends over to watch Ohio State and Miami (OH).

Church and some plans with a friend on Sunday are pretty low key. I need sleep from an exhausting week at work to go do it again!

Mellie289

Leaving for my first date (first meet) this weekend in about half an hour. I just go home from work (walking) and I'm so hot, I need to cool down and don't have time to shower. Yuck! Just locked in tomorrow's first meet for late afternoon, so I'll have some time for some exercise and cleaning. The rest of the weekend will probably include seeing Total Recall with a friend on Sunday, a little paining (walls, not art) and a little work. So glad we have Monday off.

RMuske

I work until 8 tonight then I might just go to bed. It has been a long week. Tomorrow is wine tasting with my man as well as a PAC I work for and his wife. Sunday I work another 12 hour shift! Monday I have no idea what I am doing but I do have it off! YAY

pkiesch

Today I packed up & moved outta my apt from 630AM to 530PM; what a LONG day!

Tomorrow I'm checking out a closer gym with my sister because we really need to start training for Tough Mudder! I'm also gonna go furniture shopping since I sold my dresser & nightstand and gave my bed to Goodwill.

Sunday is the biggest day of the year for my family; not only is it Labor Day but we have 5 birthdays in the beginning of September so we celebrate them all with a big BBQ & get-together.

Monday & any other free time on the weekend I'll be doing research & homework for a 40- min group presentation I have on Tuesday!

Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend & stay safe!

shammxo

It's the last weekend of "summer"! So I'm gonna go to my cottage... Fishing, food and REST.

Then, back to real life again. Last semester!!

oddyogi

Today I packed up & moved outta my apt from 630AM to 530PM; what a LONG day!

Tomorrow I'm checking out a closer gym with my sister because we really need to start training for Tough Mudder! I'm also gonna go furniture shopping since I sold my dresser & nightstand and gave my bed to Goodwill.

Sunday is the biggest day of the year for my family; not only is it Labor Day but we have 5 birthdays in the beginning of September so we celebrate them all with a big BBQ & get-together.

Monday & any other free time on the weekend I'll be doing research & homework for a 40- min group presentation I have on Tuesday!

Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend & stay safe!

Sounds like a great weekend! I wish I had a big family that did stuff like that, lol.

oddyogi

Leaving for my first date (first meet) this weekend in about half an hour. I just go home from work (walking) and I'm so hot, I need to cool down and don't have time to shower. Yuck! Just locked in tomorrow's first meet for late afternoon, so I'll have some time for some exercise and cleaning. The rest of the weekend will probably include seeing Total Recall with a friend on Sunday, a little paining (walls, not art) and a little work. So glad we have Monday off.

Let us know how your dates go!

Jennifer2387

I am by myself until Monday night! Yikes! I am not really sure what I am going to do. College football for sure. Cleaning .. for sure. Other than that .. not so sure.

You guys sound like you have some great days planned!

lacroyx

Hope those in the hurricane area are safe! As for me, business as usual. Work the entire weekend. I actualy won't work Labor Day itself. Not because it's a holiday and I get it off but because it falls on a Monday and that is my weekend off work. Besides work, make some fat cry, troll MFP forums. I may get together with some friends on Monday afternoon and go catch a movie or something.

Mellie289

Leaving for my first date (first meet) this weekend in about half an hour. I just go home from work (walking) and I'm so hot, I need to cool down and don't have time to shower. Yuck! Just locked in tomorrow's first meet for late afternoon, so I'll have some time for some exercise and cleaning. The rest of the weekend will probably include seeing Total Recall with a friend on Sunday, a little paining (walls, not art) and a little work. So glad we have Monday off.

Let us know how your dates go!

Date #1 went really well. We went for Mexican food, but there was a half hour wait for our table, so we chatted at the bar... then chatting continued over dinner, over our water after dinner, then on a walk, so we ended up talking for almost 4 hours. We will go out again next weekend - I asked him to call me during the week for us to work it out. No major sparks for me, but I certainly can see potential there, and he's so cute with his accent (French-Canadian). I don't know if he's just naturally a touchy-feely kind of guy, but he definitely touched my back, shoulder, hand, and arm several times during the date (I thought we girls were supposed to be the ones doing that to indicate interest. LOL!). The night ended with a kiss on both cheeks (traditional for where he's from apparently) and a hug (traditional for me).

One hiccup - Date #2 phoned me while I was a couple minutes away from the restaurant. I answered because I was expecting a phone call all day that I didn't get (unrelated to my dates). I didn't have his number programmed into my phone yet for his name to pop up, plus I was running a couple minutes last (and was at the point of thinking of phoning date #1 to let him know my ETA), otherwise, I probably wouldn't have answered. When he said hello, I thought it was date #1 from his voice. Oops! I was a bit flustered - I don't think I said his name, but I said that I was still near the shopping mall and asked him to hold on while I pulled over somewhere to talk. I think I saved it. He was calling me about the time for our date today but obviously hadn't checked that I had already replied to him on OKCupid. I guess I'll know if I show up this afternoon and he doesn't.

It's kind of weird that he called me on my cell phone at 7:30 PM on a Friday night and I wonder if he was trying to see if I was out. He did call my cell phone after all and he KNOWS that I have terrible cellular reception at home - I gave him a different number to call me to talk to me at home, the one I originally gave him and that we spoke on. I only gave him the cell number for when we meet up in case anything comes up. Maybe I'm too naturally suspicious.

DMZ_1

Leaving for my first date (first meet) this weekend in about half an hour. I just go home from work (walking) and I'm so hot, I need to cool down and don't have time to shower. Yuck! Just locked in tomorrow's first meet for late afternoon, so I'll have some time for some exercise and cleaning. The rest of the weekend will probably include seeing Total Recall with a friend on Sunday, a little paining (walls, not art) and a little work. So glad we have Monday off.

Let us know how your dates go!

Date #1 went really well. We went for Mexican food, but there was a half hour wait for our table, so we chatted at the bar... then chatting continued over dinner, over our water after dinner, then on a walk, so we ended up talking for almost 4 hours. We will go out again next weekend - I asked him to call me during the week for us to work it out. No major sparks for me, but I certainly can see potential there, and he's so cute with his accent (French-Canadian). I don't know if he's just naturally a touchy-feely kind of guy, but he definitely touched my back, shoulder, hand, and arm several times during the date (I thought we girls were supposed to be the ones doing that to indicate interest. LOL!). The night ended with a kiss on both cheeks (traditional for where he's from apparently) and a hug (traditional for me).

4 hours is a long time, and can be a good thing!

One week between seeing each other is on the long end of things, but passable. I know I would not be enthused about that. I like 3-5 days between get togethers in the first 4-6 weeks of a relationship. Too long can kill momentum, and these arrangements are so precarious in the early stages. Why isn't he asking for weeknight time? Why aren't you giving him weeknight time?

As a guy, touching your date should be done as a way to test the waters to see how receptive she is to physical contact in order to set up a kiss. And obviously, her touching back is a good thing! A hand hold should be a good prelude to a kiss. This is what I look for to set up a kiss. Since you were walking together, there was opportunity to hold hands. And he should have done this, and then kissed you! 4 hours together is enough time to set up a kiss. :yawn:

You said it yourself that there were no major sparks. This could easily dwindle away to nothing.

Laura_Suzie

Since I have no social life, I will be spending Labor Day with my family eating hot dogs and hamburgers. I hate hot dogs and hamburgers... also I will cry over the fact I can't wear white shoes, pants, or skirts anymore...

Mellie289

One week between seeing each other is on the long end of things, but passable. I know I would not be enthused about that. I like 3-5 days between get togethers in the first 4-6 weeks of a relationship. Too long can kill momentum, and these arrangements are so precarious in the early stages. Why isn't he asking for weeknight time? Why aren't you giving him weeknight time?

As a guy, touching your date should be done as a way to test the waters to see how receptive she is to physical contact in order to set up a kiss. And obviously, her touching back is a good thing! A hand hold should be a good prelude to a kiss. This is what I look for to set up a kiss. Since you were walking together, there was opportunity to hold hands. And he should have done this, and then kissed you! 4 hours together is enough time to set up a kiss. :yawn:

I don't see a week as long at all. If he normally would think it's long, that would matter here any way. I have plans for the rest of the weekend already, which he knew before we set up that date and he is traveling for work for the whole week. He's flying back on Friday. Since we just met last night, I don't feel a rush to out again. To me, it's a marathon, not a sprint. I like to have time in between someone I've just met to process our time together. It actually helps me to develop feelings for the person if I have some time. If I don't have instant sparks, trying to see each often within a short period of time could have the opposite effect if I perceive interest that is too intense before I've had the time to get there, if you can understand what I'm saying there.

I'm not worried about a kiss on a first meet/date. To me, it's a little soon. I'm happier to wait until date number two, or even three would still be okay. During our conversation, he talked about how he hates the word dating. He sees it as becoming friends, then if something happens, you become boyfriend and girlfriend. That's pretty much how most of relationships have started, so I'm good with that approach. I would be happy just end up as friends even - he's lots of fun and likes to get out and do things (he's jokingly pushing me to go snorkeling with him already), so it would be nice to have a friend who is interested in doing lots of activities.

Mellie289

Since I have no social life, I will be spending Labor Day with my family eating hot dogs and hamburgers. I hate hot dogs and hamburgers... also I will cry over the fact I can't wear white shoes, pants, or skirts anymore...

I thought that fashion rule didn't apply anymore, but what do I know?

MissingMinnesota

Since I have no social life, I will be spending Labor Day with my family eating hot dogs and hamburgers. I hate hot dogs and hamburgers... also I will cry over the fact I can't wear white shoes, pants, or skirts anymore...

I thought that fashion rule didn't apply anymore, but what do I know?

You can still wear white, especially if the weather is still summery.

DMZ_1

@Mellie-Yes, if someone is away that long, there's a time suspension feeling.

The kiss thing is a fine line to walk. To me, a kiss is very important right away. It's the strongest indicator of interest. I am far less likely to see someone again without that indicator. In fact, in my experience, when I have offered a second date to someone without a first date kiss indicator, it is more often than not dismissed. 4 hours together is enough time to verify that someone is attractive. I can also see the line of thinking behind a different perspective on it.

Think about this-did you once initiate a touch with him? Did you hold hands? Hug is considered a neutral action, so that's not a relevant consideration. If you were on a date with a charming, handsome man who had great fashion sense and connected with you physically, mentally and emotionally in a 4 hour period, I perceive that as enough for a 5-10 second kiss on the lips. I know I have had first dates end with a nice kiss on the lips (the quality of the kiss matters) and those first dates resulted in second dates, which is what I believe should be the end outcome of a first date.

I'm more critical of the guy in this situation than I am of you. The walk was the perfect time to gently increase the physical contact.

Mellie289

Dave, I can say that I probably didn't initiate a touch once with him. That's something that I'm not good at and to me, I didn't feel like there was an opportunity that I would have felt it was natural to do. We spent much of the date sitting opposite each other at a table. Obviously, he is much more relaxed about initiating contact across the table (like when I said I'm normally colder than most people so he wanted to check the temperature of my hand). I am better at eye contact, smiling and just being very straight forward. After dinner, he had asked if I wanted to leave after we were sitting for a while and I said no, I was enjoying the company. I joked recently to a friend of mine that I need one of those spy ear pieces and her telling me in my ear what to do on a date to flirt since it's not something I'm very good at.

Perhaps he was taking his cue from me for not pushing things? I don't know, but I would say he played it just right for me. The offer to see each other again was most definitely not dismissed without the kiss indicator here. To me, it's a really positive thing that he at least asked me out again before the end of the night. The last guy I dated didn't do that, even though he did want to go out again, and it left me wondering how things had gone.

DMZ_1

Dave, I can say that I probably didn't initiate a touch once with him. That's something that I'm not good at and to me, I didn't feel like there was an opportunity that I would have felt it was natural to do. We spent much of the date sitting opposite each other at a table. Obviously, he is much more relaxed about initiating contact across the table (like when I said I'm normally colder than most people so he wanted to check the temperature of my hand). I am better at eye contact, smiling and just being very straight forward. After dinner, he had asked if I wanted to leave after we were sitting for a while and I said no, I was enjoying the company. I joked recently to a friend of mine that I need one of those spy ear pieces and her telling me in my ear what to do on a date to flirt since it's not something I'm very good at.

Perhaps he was taking his cue from me for not pushing things? I don't know, but I would say he played it just right for me. The offer to see each other again was most definitely not dismissed without the kiss indicator here. To me, it's a really positive thing that he at least asked me out again before the end of the night. The last guy I dated didn't do that, even though he did want to go out again, and it left me wondering how things had gone.

One of my biggest first date pet peeves is spatial relations. I loathe the across the table scenarios. I try to not engage in dates that involve sitting across from each other, because initiating touches becomes so much more difficult. On indoorsy dates, I like sitting at bars because it involves being side by side, making flirtatious contact so much easier. A walk is another good date because there's side by side spatial relations naturally. I like ice skating because it is so easy to hold hands in that.

Details like this make or break dates. I think out this stuff when I am thinking about planning my dates.

It is clear to me that he wants you, otherwise he would not have asked you out again.

As for taking a cue to not push things, I sense that could have been a factor. I have a way of sequencing activity to set up a kiss, but if my signals are not good, I don't go for one because there's not a worse feeling than going in for one and having her turn the cheek or kiss in a rather cursory fashion without being fully into the moment.

Laura_Suzie

Since I have no social life, I will be spending Labor Day with my family eating hot dogs and hamburgers. I hate hot dogs and hamburgers... also I will cry over the fact I can't wear white shoes, pants, or skirts anymore...

I thought that fashion rule didn't apply anymore, but what do I know?

You can still wear white, especially if the weather is still summery.

I don't know... I'd hate to risk looking like a fashion-challenged idiot. BUT I do live in California... hmm... haha

I am excited for fall fashion though! Peacoats, sweater dresses, and boots=

AnnaPixie

David, you analyser you!! :laugh: Sounds like sparks were flying for him, but not for you Mellie. hmmm, perhaps next week


I've been working today, but off tomorrow for lunch in a French restaurant for a good friends birthday. Lots of chats and bubbles await!! :drinker:

Mellie289

Date #2 today was a bit of a drag. Spent about two hours over coffee talking, then walking around the mall. He talked a lot - I found it difficult to interrupt for quite a while to excuse myself to go to the ladies room. I felt like he was never going to take a breath. Just like the phone call I had with him, I was a little bored. I also felt like he wants to spend all his time at the beach and well, I don't. He's nice, but we're not very compatible, I think, and there is zero attraction and I know there never will be.

He was trying to feel me out on maybe going to a museum in such an indirect way, it was easy to deflect and I left with no plans to see him again. Fortunately, I had two friends going to a street fair tonight, providing me a reason to leave without lying. I thought two hours was plenty for this first meet (although my shortest first meet to date).

The street fair was fun - we spent most of our time by some German band stage and danced to the chicken dance. Had a couple pictures take in Viking helmets too. I'm not even going to try to fill out my food diary for this evening - it was definitely my cheat day!

Mellie289

Details like this make or break dates. I think out this stuff when I am thinking about planning my dates.

I'm going to have to disagree with you here on this point, Dave. I don't think details like this will make or break all dates if there's good chemistry. I'm not all gaga over him because we've only met once but I think we have really clicked on the phone and on the date. Sitting with a table in between us did not break the date. I believe in giving a lot of leeway and a good chance for a first date as well because I expect nerves or it can just be plain awkward because you don't know each other that well yet (see the two hours I spent bored this afternoon above).

Maybe it's an age thing. At 40+, I have much more patience for things to develop than I did in my 20s - then, I would expect a first date to be magical or to have no potential at all. I see things much more differently now based on my experience having attraction develop out of friendship. In my 20s, I only dated men I already knew in some way already though, so there was some attraction there before the date - that was before internet dating.

By the way, we did spend more than half an hour at the bar before we got our table for dinner. There was plenty of leaning into each other to speak to start the date off because there was a live band and it was so hard to hear. :bigsmile:

DMZ_1

Date #2 today was a bit of a drag. Spent about two hours over coffee talking, then walking around the mall. He talked a lot - I found it difficult to interrupt for quite a while to excuse myself to go to the ladies room. I felt like he was never going to take a breath. Just like the phone call I had with him, I was a little bored. I also felt like he wants to spend all his time at the beach and well, I don't. He's nice, but we're not very compatible, I think, and there is zero attraction and I know there never will be.

Obviously not going to amount to anything. The typical lousy coffee date. Surprised it lasted two hours.

Details like this make or break dates. I think out this stuff when I am thinking about planning my dates.

I'm going to have to disagree with you here on this point, Dave. I don't think details like this will make or break all dates if there's good chemistry. I'm not all gaga over him because we've only met once but I think we have really clicked on the phone and on the date. Sitting with a table in between us did not break the date. I believe in giving a lot of leeway and a good chance for a first date as well because I expect nerves or it can just be plain awkward because you don't know each other that well yet (see the two hours I spent bored this afternoon above).

Maybe it's an age thing. At 40+, I have much more patience for things to develop than I did in my 20s - then, I would expect a first date to be magical or to have no potential at all. I see things much more differently now based on my experience having attraction develop out of friendship. In my 20s, I only dated men I already knew in some way already though, so there was some attraction there before the date - that was before internet dating.

By the way, we did spend more than half an hour at the bar before we got our table for dinner. There was plenty of leaning into each other to speak to start the date off because there was a live band and it was so hard to hear. :bigsmile:

Online dates are a blank slate, whereas when you go into your first date when you've already interacted with someone in person, you have a much better sense of who they are. The chemistry is more known going into the date. Details matter in both contexts, but the chemistry can be enhanced by paying attention to details like spatial relations and a host of other ones.

It's not exactly fair to compare your early 40s to your 20s. Internet dating didn't exist until your late 20s, and it was not de-stigmatized until your early to mid 30s. The process is much more organic when you take online out of the equation. Of course, it is harder to meet people when you do that, but in theory, one should be meeting much better quality people for first dates because it is easier to pre-screen in person. Also, there's none of this "first date vs. first meet" semantical nonsense that I think is a hangup that I've seen on this board.

Leaning in is okay, but in my mind is meaningless. The kiss is the only meaningful metric. Everything else feels like reading tea leaves. A good kiss says everything that needs to be said.

Mellie289

It's not exactly fair to compare your early 40s to your 20s. Internet dating didn't exist until your late 20s, and it was not de-stigmatized until your early to mid 30s. The process is much more organic when you take online out of the equation. Of course, it is harder to meet people when you do that, but in theory, one should be meeting much better quality people for first dates because it is easier to pre-screen in person. Also, there's none of this "first date vs. first meet" semantical nonsense that I think is a hangup that I've seen on this board.

Leaning in is okay, but in my mind is meaningless. The kiss is the only meaningful metric. Everything else feels like reading tea leaves. A good kiss says everything that needs to be said.

I was contrasting 20s and 40s really for my attitude about dating - not really so much about online dating versus meeting someone first. My expectations are very different. I don't idealize a first date in the same way I did when I was younger and believed in the notion that there is one person out there who is perfect for me and would sweep me off my feet.

I am not going to walk away from a first meet/date with someone thinking the details were all wrong and I can't believe we sat with a table between us the whole time. I am more likely to walk away from meeting someone for the first time feeling pressured with too much too soon if he is pushing lots of contact and a kiss and I'm not ready for it. That's me. That's the way I am meeting someone in person for the first time. My pace is slower and I am really put off by someone pushing anything physical before I am ready. That is much more likely to sabotage a date with me than details like spatial relationship. If I felt sparks right from the outset, that might be different, but sparks sometimes take time for me since personality is a big part of the equation.

Yesterday's date also touched my arm and back a few times. It confirmed my thinking from our conversation that I didn't want to go out with him again. If my feelings were more neutral (and I hadn't met someone the night before that I liked), I would have considered going out again to still give it a chance, but a lot of touch and an attempt at a kiss would have put me off. Fortunately, he stuck his hand out for a hand shake at the beginning and end, so I didn't have to worry about a really awkward ending.

DMZ_1

Fortunately, he stuck his hand out for a hand shake at the beginning and end, so I didn't have to worry about a really awkward ending.

He could probably tell at the end that you were not into him.

christine24t

Fortunately, he stuck his hand out for a hand shake at the beginning and end, so I didn't have to worry about a really awkward ending.

He could probably tell at the end that you were not into him.

Probably. At least he didn't make it awkward by NOT reading your signals and making a move.

Moe4572

I used to think that a kiss at the end of a first date was THE indicator of interest. Not true, I have discovered. Obviously there are losers who will kiss at the end of a date to see if they can get further, and have no interest. But, there are also the ones that are VERY interested, but don't end the date with a kiss. Last weekend, I met a guy and we had several hours of talk and the date ended with a hug, and that was ok with both of us. He had already said he wanted to go out again. We met at my cottage on Sunday-as he has cottage about 500 feet away-and spent over an hour just chatting about whatever until he had to go, and I had people coming. Again, just ended with a hug. Had a date with him last night, dinner out and date ended again with hug and quick peck on the lips, and we are probably going to see each other again tonight. So, there is definitely interest, and I am liking taking it slow.............

So, kiss or no kiss---not always indicative of level of interest..........

pa_jorg

I used to think that a kiss at the end of a first date was THE indicator of interest. Not true, I have discovered. Obviously there are losers who will kiss at the end of a date to see if they can get further, and have no interest. But, there are also the ones that are VERY interested, but don't end the date with a kiss. Last weekend, I met a guy and we had several hours of talk and the date ended with a hug, and that was ok with both of us. He had already said he wanted to go out again. We met at my cottage on Sunday-as he has cottage about 500 feet away-and spent over an hour just chatting about whatever until he had to go, and I had people coming. Again, just ended with a hug. Had a date with him last night, dinner out and date ended again with hug and quick peck on the lips, and we are probably going to see each other again tonight. So, there is definitely interest, and I am liking taking it slow.............

So, kiss or no kiss---not always indicative of level of interest..........

Moe, First, that is awesome! Second, I agree the kiss is a great indicator, but not the ONLY one.