The nicest thing
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We'd call that 'being a gentleman' where I'm from, and it'd be a serious points-winner. A man who is 'nice' to me - by demonstrating his care and affection in concrete, thoughtful ways - is always going to come out ahead of the game.
He sounds lovely, Jen!0 -
I love “nice guys.” I try to stay away from “bad boys.” They might look good, but they don’t turn me on.
I find that a lot of the "nice guys" complaining that "nice guys finish last" are the passive type that never express their opinion or anything that they think would upset the woman or cause him any negative points in her eyes. So it’s always about what she wants to do, and where she wants to eat, etc. This sounds great on the surface (and many women get swept off their feet by it initially) but as a relationship develops, I can’t trust a “yes man” to let me know honestly how he feels and where he stands. So, for me, this kind of passive behavior is really a turn off.
Its funny cause me and Janie have alot of different opinions on relationships and how to handle them but ^^^^ I 100% agree with..
I'm to extroverted, loud and aggresive to be with a yes man. I need someone with some spine lol. This guy while being sweet does have spine :bigsmile: and hes not afriad to share his opinion with me even if its different than mine.
I'll jump on this bandwagon with both feet. Spine absolutely required, but care and consideration too. :happy:0 -
There is a HUGE difference between nice and wimpy nice.
YUP!0 -
I love “nice guys.” I try to stay away from “bad boys.” They might look good, but they don’t turn me on.
I find that a lot of the "nice guys" complaining that "nice guys finish last" are the passive type that never express their opinion or anything that they think would upset the woman or cause him any negative points in her eyes. So it’s always about what she wants to do, and where she wants to eat, etc. This sounds great on the surface (and many women get swept off their feet by it initially) but as a relationship develops, I can’t trust a “yes man” to let me know honestly how he feels and where he stands. So, for me, this kind of passive behavior is really a turn off.
Its funny cause me and Janie have alot of different opinions on relationships and how to handle them but ^^^^ I 100% agree with..
I'm to extroverted, loud and aggresive to be with a yes man. I need someone with some spine lol. This guy while being sweet does have spine :bigsmile: and hes not afriad to share his opinion with me even if its different than mine.
I'll jump on this bandwagon with both feet. Spine absolutely required, but care and consideration too. :happy:
Absolutely, yes. Couldn't agree more!!0 -
Just because I like to push discussion...
When there is a specific example of behavior and character everyone wants to qualify what a "nice guy" is and how he falls outside the supposed rules of it.
Without those specifics everyone has a different take on it.
So my question,as an observer of people,is why?0 -
Just because I like to push discussion...
When there is a specific example of behavior and character everyone wants to qualify what a "nice guy" is and how he falls outside the supposed rules of it.
Without those specifics everyone has a different take on it.
So my question,as an observer of people,is why?
Well like everyone has said He never tried to be my friend... The one joke about nice guys is they always treid to be that friend and shoulder you can lean on and never let you know how they feel or that they like you.
This guy has always let me know he was into me. He has never tried to be just my friend. Thats the biggest thing for me.0 -
Just because I like to push discussion...
When there is a specific example of behavior and character everyone wants to qualify what a "nice guy" is and how he falls outside the supposed rules of it.
Without those specifics everyone has a different take on it.
So my question,as an observer of people,is why?
Well like everyone has said He never tried to be my friend... The one joke about nice guys is they always treid to be that friend and shoulder you can lean on and never let you know how they feel or that they like you.
This guy has always let me know he was into me. He has never tried to be just my friend. Thats the biggest thing for me.
Fair enough but does not just about every lady say they want a partner who is someone they can feel secure with,lean on and be their best friend?0 -
Yes but what alot of men who clain to be the nice guy Dont understand is that once we put you in the friend zone its very hard for us to look at you in a different light.. When men dont let thier attraction be know and play nice nice just to get in close with a female they shouldn't be suprised when a women then views him as a platonic friend.We dont know whats going on in thier mind so how would we know that isnt what they want. Also in regards to the best friend thing as we date a guy becomes your friend.. My best male friend I view as my adopted brother and if he tried to hit on me or kiss me (ewww) I would think he had been replaced by a pod person..0
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The trouble is though (doesn`t seem to apply to you Jen) is that most ladies here have sworn off any proactive measures on their part to let a guy know interest would be happily received.
Many have stated they can`t deal with rejection and others that they desire a feeling from being pursued.
Wouldn`t it be better if both parties equally took measures to let the other know they want something more then a casual relationship?
I see the guy being put in the possible no win situation...take a chance and possibly be turned down (it does not feel any better for us then it does women) or try to figure out her wishes (Oops,didn`t hit the right buttons,sorry you lose) while not being the super cool but in the long run *kitten*.
*sigh*0 -
I think it is important for both sides, but especially men, to make clear through actions and words, what they want. I'm always advocating for clear communication, asking for what you want and for taking the actions to get what you want.
In the early stages, I always ask out someone I find attractive if I sense a willingness to engage. If I hold hands with a woman, and she likes my touches and touches me, I'm going to go in for the kiss without hesitation. I don't get trapped in friend zones.0 -
I think it is important for both sides, but especially men, to make clear through actions and words, what they want. I'm always advocating for clear communication, asking for what you want and for taking the actions to get what you want.
In the early stages, I always ask out someone I find attractive if I sense a willingness to engage. If I hold hands with a woman, and she likes my touches and touches me, I'm going to go in for the kiss without hesitation. I don't get trapped in friend zones.
And that sir is a win for you !!!!!:flowerforyou: :drinker:
Carl- I understand women are shy and so are men. I try to always let a guy no I'm interested lots of eye contact, brushing up into him, casual touching ect.. But if the motions arent returned then into the friend zone he goes lol.. But alot of the "nice guys " act like they want to be friends. These are also the guys that make other men suspicious of male/ female friendships BTW...0 -
That WAS a sweet gesture. I like sweet guys.0
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This may not seem like a big deal for some people but for me its a huge thing. Guys never do things like this for me . Most men just see me as so independent that they never bother to ask if I need help. He just came over like it was no big deal. It literally boggled my mind lol....
Random acts of kindness are special! And memorable.... :bigsmile:
I dont agree that the guy has to be the archetypical 'nice guy' to do something like this though. It's just a guy being nice. Women can be nice too!! This kind of stuff should happen more in life :flowerforyou:0 -
There is a HUGE difference between nice and wimpy nice.
Exactly. The nice guy we often discuss here is the wimpy nice guy.
My old roommate's boyfriend came over a few times and mowed our lawn. So sweet. And this other guy friend of ours would help us if our cars broke down or needed gas. Wins major points if you know how to use your hands.
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I prefer to say that he is a nice man instead of a Nice Guy when referring to someone who isn't trying the sneaky approach (note the use of capital letters for the NG).
I'm like Princess Leia... I happen to like nice men.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLWwmEUk0yg 0 -
I prefer to say that he is a nice man instead of a Nice Guy when referring to someone who isn't trying the sneaky approach (note the use of capital letters for the NG).
I'm like Princess Leia... I happen to like nice men.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLWwmEUk0yg
And yet she ended up with a scoudrel lol0 -
The "nice guy" is the guy to be your friend while he secretly wants to bone you but never actually speaks up - or by the time he does it's too late for that mental shift.
It's really quite simple in theory - the complicated part is that each person is an individual so the things that they like/don't like/where the line between friend and potential mate is differs between each person. There is no concrete answer or response which is why every time someone answers the definition is just a little different.
The difference between a friend and a significant other is I don't want to have sex with my friends. Once I stop thinking of you as a sexual creature, most likely I'm not going to start again later.0 -
PS: I would totally rather have a guy mow my lawn than buy me flowers. That's real affection in my book! Kudos!0
