widows and widowers

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How are you coping?

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dwellsouth
dwellsouth Posts: 158 Member
in Social Groups
My husband passed away on 1-30-12 and in many ways I think I am coping well, but on days like today, when I just feel completely inundated with all the crap he hoarded and left behind for me to deal with, I just feel like drinking myself into a stupor. I'm trying to drink low cal. LOL I know, bad solution, right? I just feel so stressed out over it and pissed off, to be honest.

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  • adkarg
    adkarg Posts: 21 Member
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    I feel much like you do. My husband passed away April 7th 2012. I also feel like I am coping pretty well, but I have some rough days.. sometimes those rough days turn into rough weeks. I'm really having trouble getting back into the habit of eating healthy and excercising regularly. I was doing great before he died, but I just lack motivation now. I do a lot of emotional eating and drinking. I think my health is taking a nosedive as a result. I wish I had some answers.. I wish I knew how to get myself back on track.. my self-confidence is taking a hit because I do feel so yucky..
  • butterflies2323
    butterflies2323 Posts: 23
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    I was so sad this weekend, I ended up eating way more then I should have.
  • butterflies2323
    butterflies2323 Posts: 23
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    theirs not alot of activity in this group, i think at this time im going to leave the group. Thank you for the supprt that i have recieved. Please feel free to add me. I wish everyone best of luck and strength in the future.
  • quilteryoyo
    quilteryoyo Posts: 6,094 Member
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    Yes, butterflies. I wish there was more activity on here too. But, I have a feeling there isn't because those who have a recent loss are so overwhelmed by everything, as has been said above. It's tough. I do feel for all of you. My husband has been gone for 6 1/2 years and I still have some bad days, but not often anymore. When he first passed, I couldn't do anything. It's good I was retired or I would have been fired, I'm sure. It does get better, but it isn't easy. And, it's a roller coaster ride.....have a good day and then feel like you're right back at the beginning again. Hang in there.

    adkarg, I don't know the circumstances of your husbands death, but I too lost my self confidence and questioned all my decisions. The hospice chaplain told me it's because I had to make all the decisions about my husbands care, he had brain cancer, and then he died. I questioned if I did all the right things or not. That has affected me making decisions since then, I know.

    I finally let my doctor give me anti-depressants and they helped. But, I wasn't going to have to stay on them forever, so I took up running. That exercise allowed me to get off of them and do well. So, as hard as it is to get out there, exercise is good for the soul.

    Cooking and eating....I still have a hard time with, but am getting better. It's just so hard to spend the time to cook for one person. I wish there was a place I could find some easy, simple, meals for one. There are a lot of recipes out there, but most use ingredients I don't have around or take too long or some other excuse...LOL

    Anyway, good luck to all of you. Feel free to add me as a friend or message me. I'll try to help as much as I can. I know everyone's grief is unique and you have to learn how to deal with it yourself. I can't know exactly what you are going through, but I can empathize. Trust that you aren't going crazy and realize it is a long process.

    Thinking of you all.

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