What is "Confident"?
Carl01
Posts: 9,370 Member
It seems that word gets used so much by men and women that it has become an undefined catch all almost without meaning.
What are everyones feelings of how they are and exhibit confidence and also what causes them to see it in others?
For me personally it is the ability to state my opinions on things and the ability to face life as it comes along.
What are everyones feelings of how they are and exhibit confidence and also what causes them to see it in others?
For me personally it is the ability to state my opinions on things and the ability to face life as it comes along.
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To me .. confidence in a man is:
the ability to ask a girl out or for her number
not being wishy washy and saying oh whatever you want to eat, or wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do
taking the initiative on the first kiss .. or kisses .. lol
not hanging back and melting away when meeting my friends or family
say what you mean, mean what you say .. I don't want to have to drag a conversation out of you.0 -
Confidence to me is an attitude. I believe we all have insecurities.. But there's a difference between being insecure and having some insecurities. Confident people accept their weaknesses (because that takes strength) and still has the right attitude.0
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Hmmm... Confidence is the way you carry yourself and the way make eye contact. Your abilty to seem like your comfortable in your own skin (wether you are or not)0
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To me, confidence means a few things. First, the ability to do things the way I choose without caring what others may think. It covers everything from what I choose to do with my career to what kind of clothes I decide to wear to who I decide to date. It also ignites my fire to do things that I initially believed I couldn't. There is a switch that gets flipped in that moment; either I remain in the fear zone and don't try or I cross into the fearless zone and never look back.
Oh, the years I spent as a person who hid from the world in fear and overwhelming self-doubt; I will never get that time back. I don't blame anyone for that, but growing up I had parents who kept me extremely sheltered and were paranoid about negative possibilities and consequences from every angle, even those things that had a 1% chance of happening. I rebelled as a teen and lived at the other end of the spectrum for a while, only to reclude to a safe place again once I was out on my own. The world was not nice to me in my early to mid-20s and I backed away into safety and isolation, the place I was used to and most "comfortable."
Things still are not perfect, but my 'confidence' has been re-ignited and I am slowly opening more doors that I've kept shut tight for so long. I am striving for a better balance now. I guess the bottom line is, confidence is a person's belief at their very core that they are capable, important, and full of purpose; that they CAN instead of CAN'T, whatever that may be.0 -
Generally, you believe in yourself and that you have the ability to accomplish whatever you set out to accomplish. When it comes to dating, you trust that the other person is, or will be, into you. You don't have insecurities or doubts.0
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I could expound on this in depth but I'll keep it simple with an example: Confidence is the fact that every Words with Friends game I start I absolutely believe 100% that I'm going to win that game but I know the reality is that you can't win every game. But in the construct of my mind I really don't believe there is nothing I can't do and I approach women the exact same way.0
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Having belief in yourself and your abilities!
Standing tall, shoulders back and making eye contact!
Facing the world head on!!
:smokin:0 -
Having belief in yourself and your abilities!
Standing tall, shoulders back and making eye contact!
Facing the world head on!!
:smokin:
This!0 -
Generally, you believe in yourself and that you have the ability to accomplish whatever you set out to accomplish. When it comes to dating, you trust that the other person is, or will be, into you. You don't have insecurities or doubts.
I think this is close to being right on... I would add that confidence means "You don't have insecurities or doubts" that disable you from being your true self in everything you do.
I think we all have doubts, and it's normal for our confidence to fluctuate, but when we're our most confident - we know that we'll come out the other side (of whatever we hope to accomplish) just fine. It's about being solid/grounded in who you are as a person and as it relates to dating: KNOWING that you're a perfect fit for someone in this world, it's just the small matter of finding him/her.
Great question, Carl! I love seeing everyone's thoughts!0 -
It tends to be easier to point out the negatives so take this theory on it if you will:
Confidence is NOT:
Constantly being jealous or wondering if the other person is looking for someone else
Need constant contact with the other person because you fear XYZ
Always saying yes, even if you don't believe in what is being said/done
Always leaving your wants and wishes behind in order to make the other person happy
Losing who you are in order to keep a relationship with someone
Constantly asking if the other person likes/loves you
Having no goals in life
I think some of these were already said a different way, but that's my 2 cents worth.
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This is easy. confident that She can be on top and that's o.k.0
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Generally, you believe in yourself and that you have the ability to accomplish whatever you set out to accomplish. When it comes to dating, you trust that the other person is, or will be, into you. You don't have insecurities or doubts.
I think this is close to being right on... I would add that confidence means "You don't have insecurities or doubts" that disable you from being your true self in everything you do.
I think we all have doubts, and it's normal for our confidence to fluctuate, but when we're our most confident - we know that we'll come out the other side (of whatever we hope to accomplish) just fine. It's about being solid/grounded in who you are as a person and as it relates to dating: KNOWING that you're a perfect fit for someone in this world, it's just the small matter of finding him/her.
Great question, Carl! I love seeing everyone's thoughts!
I like what you changed here Basil, because when I read Dave's comment, my reaction was, "I don't know ANYONE that confident". I have my days of doubt, but I know myself well enough to be a confident, reasonably-adjusted person the majority of the time. Those doubts don't affect my actions typically.
I will add that confidence applies to individual areas of our lives and can be at different levels even within one person. I got feedback on here one time about my self-confidence being low because it's wrapped up in what men think or my dating experiences. I shared that with friends, who seriously laughed at the idea. I'm extremely confident truly... in every area except men/ dating.
I will give feedback to directors and VPs three levels higher than myself because I know that I KNOW my job... and thankfully with time have learned how to not look egotistical doing it. I KNOW how to manage money... I teach a lot of people how to budget and manage. I have NO idea how to DATE, haha! I know that... and my confidence fluctuates and it does affect my actions sometimes, so it's clearly a weakness. My friends were shocked to finally find my Achilles heel and understand why I avoided it so much. But I WILL beat it into submission, haha! (see, there's my confidence again, hehe)0
