Soooooo........

JanieJack

He wants to keep hanging out or humping or where ever he's at with you... but keep searching for better (in his opinion). At least that's how I read it.

It sounds to me like he's just not that into you. But he's got no other alternatives at the moment, so whatever.

What you described sounds like an open relationship to me.

This. This. And This.

If "open relationship" where you two hang out/make out/whatever with each other until something better comes along is what you want then, great! I'm happy for you.

If you're looking for a committed relationship where the man eventually becomes alllll about you, this is not it.

By agreeing with him, and even being happy with the "talk" you have basically told this guy I don't care enough about myself to find someone who truly loves me. I will sit here and be "your girl" while you still have the option to date others (as long as you tell me about it). Sure, I have the option to date others too but I've already told you I'm not, so I'm a sure thing in your back pocket.

Some people are happy with this. I wouldn't be. If this is what you want, then great. If it isn't please reconsider. At the very least, if you are going to have an open relationship than make sure he's not the ONLY one going out with other women. Be sure you find other men to go out with too.

flimflamfloz

I guess I get it, but another strategy is to focus (intensely) on the guy for a month, realise he is after all just an @sshole and dump him rather than having a wishy-washy kind of relationship for 5 years and be kinda available but also kinda not (hot'n'cold), not being sure on what foot to stand, etc.

missmeliss169

I think that all relationships should progress at their own pace. My boyfriend and I started "dating" in January and even though we had talked about where we stood and whether or not we were seeing other people, I did not feel ready to be "his girlfriend" yet. I think people throw around titles and rush into things too quickly, and I am the type of girl that likes to take my time. He asked me to be his girlfriend about a month after we started dating and we didn't become "boyfriend and girlfriend" until May. It wasn't about seeing what else was out there, but more about making sure he was someone I wanted to commit my time to and focus my energy on. Real relationships take a lot of time and work from both people and I think it's better to start slow and make sure you are actually compatible before worrying about titles and exclusivity.

jenbit

I think that all relationships should progress at their own pace. My boyfriend and I started "dating" in January and even though we had talked about where we stood and whether or not we were seeing other people, I did not feel ready to be "his girlfriend" yet. I think people throw around titles and rush into things too quickly, and I am the type of girl that likes to take my time. He asked me to be his girlfriend about a month after we started dating and we didn't become "boyfriend and girlfriend" until May. It wasn't about seeing what else was out there, but more about making sure he was someone I wanted to commit my time to and focus my energy on. Real relationships take a lot of time and work from both people and I think it's better to start slow and make sure you are actually compatible before worrying about titles and exclusivity.

^^^ this is my point exactly....

jenbit

I think he was fishing to see if you were wanting to date exclusively or not. When he said that he would tell you if he had another date, like with an old friend, did he actually mean date or just meet for dinner and catch up? I would be more worried if he said he wanted to date new people then go out with an old friend. There are too many holes here to really say what he was meaning. A lot could be taken by his body language in this conversation that we cannot determine.

The conversation took place in his car with his arm over my shoulder in the driveway of my house lol if that helps. My thing with him is he is kinda shy and with me being me I think he is worried about getting hurt . Before this talk I had no clue if we were just hanging out or what. I mean its obvious the guy likes me hes been chasing me for a couple of months now.


Also to the lady who asked how oftern we see each other its probably 3-4 times a week and we talk everyday. We both have full time jobs, I have kids. He has 2 bands and school on top of work so I think 3-4 times a week between both our busy schedules is really good.

christine24t

I personally don't understand why if a guy likes you and you like him you would still want to date other people. It's never made sense to me. It's not that you even have to label it, but why if you like him would you want to date other people? And why if he likes you would he want to date others? And it's also not like you both can be missing out on that many people to date, and if you do you can always just say "you're a great guy but I am dating someone right now."

JanieJack

I personally don't understand why if a guy likes you and you like him you would still want to date other people.

Because keeping your options open helps you keep from getting emotionally attached before you see personality flaws/failures and can objectively evaluate them.

Because it keeps you from devoting yourself to a man (and letting him know) when he’s not devoted to you, and then being hurt later b/c you thought it was a relationship when he thought it was just “fun for now.”

Because that "great guy" may just be putting up a front and you don’t find out he’s psycho for two months.

I'm sure there are many other reasons.

Also, it really depends on your definition of “dating.” I had one guy I was seeing every time we were both in town after a couple months tell me we weren’t “dating” yet. That hurt. And that’s the incident that caused me to listen to my friends and start casual dating. To me, “dating” is that initial stage of getting to know someone and determining whether or not there is long term potential. I don’t desire an open relationship, but I also don’t believe in cutting myself off from other men until it’s determined we have long term potential. And I, personally, can't determine this after just a couple of dates like others on this board say they can.